samnatandsteve

[samnatandsteve]

Nat gets Amnesia

 so @mockinghawk-romanogers asked for a fic of this based off a post of mine. it took a lot longer to get to than I planned thanks to university and life, and it’s not really the same as the of post but that’s okay. I like both of them. 

This is the post in question by the way: 

[Steve and the Bucky are in central Asia following a lead on a terrorist organization after Civil War][Nat and Sam are following other leads in central America, Nat got hurt and can't keep things straight in her mind]

Nat : *gets a long and well written love letter from Steve*Nat : awwww

Nat : *writes back* "you have a crush on me? That's embarrassing :P"

[A week later]

Steve : *calls Nat on burner phone only for emergencies* Nat, we're litterly married!

Nat : is that how I got your dog tags with your mom's ring on it?

Steve : yes! Don't you remember?

Nat : not really... did I look nice?

Steve : ....of course you did, can I talk to Sam?

Nat : why?

Steve : I need him to check something for me

Nat : what is it? I can do it

*Sam walks in, sees the phone, panicks, and grabs the phone*

Nat : hey!! What gives?

Sam : *trying to act nonchalant while shooting Nat away* hey man, what's up?

Steve : why doesn't my wife remember she's my wife?

Sam : whaaattttt? that's crazy!

Steve : is Nat hurt?

Sam : Not a cut

Nat : *in the background* tell the pizza man I want extra banana peppers on mine

Sam : *to Nat* sure thing

Steve : Sam what happened?

Sam : what do you mean?

Steve : what happen-

Sam : woops well look at that, times up, got to go! Tasha, say bye

Nat : why do I have to say goodbye to the pizza man?

Sam : because he likes you

Nat : likes likes?Sam : ohhh yeah

Steve : wait a minute Sa-

*Sam hangs up*

I can do the whole pizza man part in another one if you guys want me to. But this is the oneshot I whipped up today because I finally had the time and motivation :) 

-

They were on a mission in Brazil that of course brought them to the Amazon Rainforest and not only there but at a Hydra base right on the banks of the river itself. Hydra and their fucking cliches. Sam and Natasha went down there to do some snooping around - “Recon” as Tasha put it. Which of course quickly turned into “innocent intel gathering” as she put it in the middle of the night. Then one trip wire (fucking cliches) got them into a “good old fashion shoot out” as she so cheekly put it as she put a bullet in a Hydra goon’s head. Which may or may not have made Sam question Steve’s sanity for marrying such a scary woman. And they just in Brazil that morning, barely had any lunch and Sam’s stomach is really pissed at him. 

   But back to the point! Hydra, Amazon River, terrifying  woman for a partner, kicking Hydra goon ass all in the very humid and very yuckie air of the Amazon. Just one other reason to add to the list of “why I hate Jimmy”, Sam should've gone with scissors that last round, at least then he would be in Central  Asia and just  be dealing with the heat. 

They managed to get outside where they could get the upper hand,  mainly thanks to Tasha’s kick ass assassin skills. Now he was providing air support and Redwing was being awesome and finishing up the intel theft. 

So Tasha was on the ground kicking ass like only Sam could dream of doing, Sam was playing snipper and taking out stragglers and thinning them out for Tasha when suddenly Tasha was in the river face down and Sam was fighting to right himself midair with his ears ringing painfully.

Cold sweat ran down Sam’s back as the biting air rushed in his ears and brought tears to his eyes. He’s going to blame it on the wind if any of those Hydra idiots brought it up, because Sam Wilson does not cry for his friends, he was a stone cold certified bad bitch (by Tasha the queen of bad bitches herself) thank you very much. His stomach twists painfully making him want to throw up and he does and it’s just acid and it burns his throat and he hates today. 

In just another example of classical Hydra cliche, they blew up their little super secret base and bebrie hit Tasha, sending her into the river. His mind registers the fact that Redwing’s still connected to the goggles’ computer and online. Sam thanks the beings that be as he takes a swan dive to Tasha. One thing is for sure, Sam thought as he pulled Natasha out of the river, Steve will kill him if he finds out about this. 

“Redwing buddy tell me I didn’t just let cap become a widow.” The electronic drone bird chirps as they run away- make a strategic withdrawal into the night sky to their hotel room. Sam breathed a sigh of relief as her vitals popped up and he saw her steady heart beat. “Thank god! He still can’t know about this though!” Redwing chirps again as Sam readjusts the spy in his arms. “Well if she snitches we just have to go into hiding.” Another chirp. “Can you stop pointing out faults in my plan?” Silence. “Thank you.”  

Natalie grones as the light hits her eyes causing a pounding headache to erupt across her head. “What the fuck happened last night?” Her cold hand helped a bit when she held it against her forehead. A black man walked out of the bathroom with a hesitant smile on his face.

“Heyyy girl, how’re you feeling?” She  grunted in reply and she threw her bare legs over the side of the bed. Pausing, she looked down and raised an eyebrow, she had her underwear and tank top on. 

“Why the hell am I half naked with a hell of a hangover? Did we sleep together? You better have used protection!” She jabed her left index finger at the man who was still standing on the other side of the room by the desk. Her eyes caught the gold of her wedding band. “You better be my husband too, I am no cheat!” The man’s mouth went slack as his eyes went wide. 

“I broke her- Hydra broke her and I let them.” He started to ramble to himself, rubbing his hands over his head. Natalie pauses again, what the hell does a Nazi subdivison have to do with this? 

“I thought Captain America took care of those guys.” The man stopped and she could practically see the dread set in as she watched his back. Something in a bag on his side of the room chirped and he snapped at it to shut up. 

After a slew of questions the man, Sam, tells her she had memory loss and thinks she’s one of her covers for her job; A history teacher named Natalie Rushmen when she was really an intelligence agent named Natasha Rogers. They were on a mission in Brazil when she got hurt and they will not be leaving until she gets her memory because “Your husband will kill me if he finds out about this and as my friend you would be obliged to kill him and the whole thing would go down into history books and I don’t want to be in history books like that.” 

They stared into each other's eyes for a while, sweat running down Sam’s face as a smirk played on Natasha’s. She hummed, putting her head in her hand, finger tapping her chin,  pretending to mull it over. 

“Hmmm? What do you mean hmmm??” 

“He is my husband, and I like to think we-” 

“Then don’t think! Trust me, you love to pull shit over him, it's your favorite pastime!” 

“Okay” She got up and left him to get dressed “But i think my other favorite is to keep you on your toes.” She calls from the other side of the closed bathroom door. He flops onto the bed, rubbing his face. Thank god the mission was originally planned for a week and radio silent. 

_

A day later the front office stopped Natasha and gave her an envelope. Said envelope found its way into her purse quicker than a snitch in those Harry Potter books she was working through for the eleventh time according to Sam.   

 When she found the room to be empty and void of said man, she plopped onto her bed and opened the letter. A love letter from a guy trying to be mysterious by going by S - how sweet! But she was married and the most faithful wife-who-can’t-even-remember-her-spouse’s-face there ever was!  But she wasn’t a mean woman either, plus it was so nicely written, clearly S loved her a lot. And she was going to love breaking that big heart of his, gotta set her foot down. 

 So she got to writing her own letter complete with a lipstick kiss on the letter’s bottom corner next to her N.

“Dear S, 

Fuck you, I’m married. 

With nothing but love, 

      N <3” 

Short and to the point, just how she liked it. Smiling to herself with a bounce in her step, she hands her response to the young girl at the front desk, thanked her and went back into the room to watch some Brazilian dramas. The letter from S tucked away in her bag, she was going to ask Sam about it  later when he got back with dinner. 

But dinner came and went and the letter was left forgotten under one of her bras. That was until two days later when Sam got a call on a flip phone. Well the phone in his bag did and like always he way out, so she did the friendly thing of answering it when she saw the unsaved number thinking it was spam. 

“Hello, this is Cathrine from Bed Baths and Beyond, how can I help you on this wonderful day?” 

The midwestern American accent came easily to her as she played with her hair with the phone held in place with her shoulder and cheek 

“Nat what’s going on?” She doesn’t know how she knows but that was Mysterious Mr. S on the other end of the line. 

“Who the fuck do you take me for mr S?? I am married and I’ll bet twenty bucks you’re not even half the man my husband is!” She fished the letter out of her bag “I mean seriously! ‘Words cannot even begin to describe how beautiful you are, Aphrodite cannot even hope to compare.’ “ She reads the line in a high pitched mocking town. “Did you read that from ‘Pickup lines so used and abused even their mothers won’t recognize them’? I wouldn’t be caught dead with a man who thinks that’s the hot shit.” 

  There was a pause and Natasha had to check that he didn’t hang up. 

“What - I’m your husband! Me! Steve Rogers am your spouse!” 

“Yeah okay buddy nice try.” 

“Where’s Sam?” 

“Who’s Sam?” 

“Natasha please don’t, where’s Sam?” 

“He’s at work, doing accountant stuff with the numbers and shit.” 

“Sam barely passed algebra, he hates math.” 

Just  as about to call him a staker, Sam the man walked in with food. 

“Got you some waffles!” He did his best Donkey impression at the word waffles as he closed the door behind him. When he turned back he dropped the food and basically tackled her like a linebacker or something to get to the phone. - Point is it hurt her bruised and battered body.  “Give that to me woman!” 

“No!” 

“What’s going on with you two??” -Steve 

“Yes!” 

“I don’t wanna!” 

“I’ll buy you ice cream!” 

They pause in their battle for the phone. 

“Chocolate?” 

“I’m not a heathen like your husband.” 

“I heard that!” - Steve 

She let go, hand up and palms out in surrender. Sam put the phone to his ear.

“Heyyy Steve, whatsup man?” Sam shoved his unused hand into his armpit as he started to walk the length of the room. Nodding to the food to tell Natasha to start eating, which she does. So she watched him talk while eating her waffles far more entertained than she would be watching a Brazilan show. 

“Why doesn’t my wife remember me?” 

“You have a wife? Wow, congrats man! Who’s the lucky lady?” 

“The one you let get amnesia apparently.” 

“Amnesia-what?” 

Steve sighed on the other end.

“She hurt in any other way?” 

Sam shared a glance with Natasha who had booth cheeks stuffed with waffles. 

“Not a scratch.” 

“You sit on a throne of lies.” Natasha hisses. “I have three broken ribs Mr. S!” 

“What! Thre-!” Steve is sooo going to kill Sam. 

“Oh wow don’t you look at that! Time’s out, gotta go! Bye Steve!” And with a snap of the phone, the yelling voice of an angry husband is cut off. Sam joined Natasha at the table and started to eat his waffles. 

“Is that really my husband?” She pointed her fork at the phone laying on one of the twin beds. Sam nods as he poured syrup over his waffles. “What was I thinking?” 

“To this day I still can’t figure it out.” 

[samnatandsteve]

markus and mcfeely really had the audacity to write “steve rogers, finally getting the life he deserves” at the end of their endgame screenplay, huh?!?! do you mean him going back to the forties with the knowledge that hydra would infiltrate shield and that thanos would eventually come??? and willingly electing to deal with that nonsense all over again??? THAT’S the life he deserves?????? 

having to rescue bucky and prevent shield from being infiltrated by hydra and training a team of superpowered individuals (who he KNOWS and LOVES but will never be able to be as close to as he was in the og universe) to defeat a threat that is capable of halving the population of the universe that he KNOWS is coming and that he ALREADY DEFEATED isn’t retirement bro!!!!!!! 

or what, does he ignore this knowledge and allow bucky to be tortured for decades and for hydra to gain power and for the world to be unprepared for thanos’ arrival???? to have to deal with all that without him on the front lines???? because that wouldn’t be very steve rogers of him now would it gentlemen?!?!?!?!?!?! GOD i hate this movie

[samnatandsteve]

Pls gush at me over how clever natasha romanoff is, I’m dying for some good meta on how her badassery is multi faceted 😅

Well hello to you anon!

Um, Natasha is THE cleverest of all?

Natasha’s intellect is well rounded. Sure, Tony Stark is an engineering/tech genius, and Banner is really into science. But Natasha Romanoff knows enough for most stuff to solve problems, get out of tough situations, and get what she needs. 

Throw Natasha in ANY situation and she will find a solution that will bring to her the best possible result. Throw ANY other Avenger into a situation and unless they can punch their way out of it, they’ll probably fail.

Natasha has a high IQ, but she also has high emotional intelligence. She can understand the emotional state of others and use/manipulate that to her advantage if necessary. She can also negotiate, she’s capable of compromise, and she has the added advantage of being able to see the world as it is, not as she wishes it to be. 

She’s also coming from a very difficult background, which means she’s used to not getting what she wants straight away. She’s patient, and she knows how to pull a long play. NONE of the other Avengers are capable of that, they’re the poster children of instant gratification.

Furthermore, Natasha is a strategic player. She looks at a situation as if it were a chess board. It’s not just that she can think of multiple solutions to a problem, it’s that she’s capable of thinking ahead, of taking risks and making sacrifices that, in the long run, will win the game for her.

NO other Avenger is capable of that either.

Finally, Natasha is probably the only Avenger that could never turn “evil”. Natasha doesn’t see the world as black and white. She’s just a good soul who feels she needs to atone for past sins. 

Natasha is not fighting to prove a point, or because she thinks she knows what’s best for the world. As such, her motivations could never lead her astray, no matter what the idiots over at Marvel say.

[samnatandsteve]

*Sam, Steve and Bucky are watching a baseball game*

Bucky : honestly being kicked in the balls is worse

Steve : Bucky they gotta push a softball sized head, followed by a football sized body out of a coin sized hole.

Sam : yeah plus it can last hours, even days AND you can die from it

Bucky : so? It's natural, their bodies were made to do that, ours weren't made to be kicked in the balls.

*Nat walks in*

Nat : what are we talking about?

Bucky and Steve : *blushing because they came from the 40's where you don't talk about this stuff with women* nothing!

Sam : *calm* Bucky here is saying bring kicked in the balls is worse than childbirth

*Nat sits down between Sam and Steve*

*Steve and Bucky stare in horror*

Nat : Really?

Sam : yup, says its not the worst 'cause the woman's body is made to do that.

Nat : *stage whispering* Well we shouldn't tell them about periods, it would blow their minds.

Bucky : *whispering to Steve* what's a period?

Steve : *whispering* I dont know, aren't you the one that had all those sisters?

Bucky : yeah but your ma was an over sharing nurse

....

Steve : *jabs at Bucky's side* ask

Bucky : *jabs back* no you ask

*Sam and Nat watch, tongue in cheek*

Sam : Tasha what's a period?

Nat : I'm glad you ask Sam. You see it happens roughly every 28 days and lasts for about 7. You bleed out of your viginia blood and tissue that was built up in your uterus in preparation for pregnancy. But since there's not fertile egg, it all has to go. So your body pumps out a hell of a lot of hormones that makes you crave food, have mood swings, bloat, have ance and sometimes really horny before you actually bleed and while you do. Not only that but you also cramp as your uterus muscles work to get ride of all that unneeded blood and tissue. Sometimes its so bad you can't even walk or see. Now if you aren't careful with your tampons you could get toxic shock syndrome and become infertile in the most painful way possible and back in the day you could've died from it.

*Steve and Bucky stare in horror*

Sam : yeah I'll take being kicked in thr balls.

[samnatandsteve]

[Steve and the Bucky are in central Asia following a lead on a terrorist organization after Civil War]

[Nat and Sam are following other leads in central America, Nat got hurt and can't keep things straight in her mind]

Nat : *gets a long and well written love letter from Steve*

Nat : awwww

Nat : *writes back* "you have a crush on me? That's embarrassing :P"

[A week later]

Steve : *calls Nat on burner phone only for emergencies* Nat, we're litterly married!

Nat : is that how I got your dog tags with your mom's ring on it?

Steve : yes! Don't you remember?

Nat : not really... did I look nice?

Steve : ....of course you did, can I talk to Sam?

Nat : why?

Steve : I need him to check something for me

Nat : what is it? I can do it

*Sam walks in, sees the phone, panicks, and grabs the phone*

Nat : hey!! What gives?

Sam : *trying to act nonchalant while shooting Nat away* hey man, what's up?

Steve : why doesn't my wife remember she's my wife?

Sam : whaaattttt? that's crazy!

Steve : is Nat hurt?

Sam : Not a cut

Nat : *in the background* tell the pizza man I want extra banana peppers on mine

Sam : *to Nat* sure thing

Steve : Sam what happened?

Sam : what do you mean?

Steve : what happen-

Sam : woops well look at that, times up, got to go! Tasha, say bye

Nat : why do I have to say goodbye to the pizza man?

Sam : because he likes you

Nat : likes likes?

Sam : ohhh yeah

Steve : wait a minute Sa-

*Sam hangs up*

[samnatandsteve]

Carol, when she first joined: So tell me about the team. What are your powers?

Tony: I have a suit that flies and shoots lasers.

Bruce: I turn big and green when I’m angry.

Clint: I can aim and shoot at stuff from miles away.

Thor: I have a magical hammer and I control lightning.

Steve: I have super strength and enhanced abilities.

Natasha: I make good life decisions.

Carol, confused: But that’s not-

Steve: Believe me, with our track record, she’s our most important member.

[samnatandsteve]

Sam : I fuckin hate you -_-

Bucky : i can't even stand thinking of you :P

Sam : *whispering* wait no babe, you have to be pissed

Bucky : oh okay

Bucky : I fuckin love you -_-

Sam : *facepalms*

[samnatandsteve]

[On a plane with heavy terminal]

Nat : *sleeping*

Bucky : Sam i have to tell you something

Sam : are you going to confess your love for me?

Bucky : No, I broke your iPhone

Sam : What?? That was you?? Im going to kill you!! *lunges for Bucky*

Bucky : im sorry! The buttons were so small

*Sam tries to kill Bucky and Bucky is holding him off*

Steve : *clenching the seat in front of him* Natasha I love you!!! I always did!!

*Sam and Bucky stop to look at Steve*

Steve : you know like uh how you love the night sky

Sam : We don't want to sleep with -

Bucky : or date

Sam : - the sky

Nat : I don't know, i would TOTALLY hit that

Steve : Thank you!

Steve : wait... did you-?

Nat : Hear everything? Of course

[samnatandsteve]

Please reblog if you enjoy Marvel and you're a woman

I have been having an argument with a friend and he says that Marvel is for guys, please help me prove to him that there are lots of women who like Marvel!

[samnatandsteve]

THE AVENGERS (1/?) ⧗ NATALIA ALIANOVNA ROMANOVA “Natasha Romanoff” ⧗

At some point, we all have to choose between what the world wants you to be and who you are. I made my choice. I’m done running. 

[samnatandsteve]

1 - goldfish, the snack that smiles back (but like how weird would it be if I had a live goldfish in my mouth?)

2- an oversized hoodie for me under a mountain of blankets if it's cold

3 - after physical therapy when I was little, it kills your muscles

4 - the rocky mountains or the beach. It's a tie

5 - around 2 am...

6 - New York or one of the great lake states

7 - I dont remember why but I know I cried recently, tho most likely it was because of a sad Nat fic

8- Natasha

9 - honestly summer, winter and fall are tied spring can suck it tho.

10 - alive or dead? Alive is Scarlett Jo, dead is Virginia Hall or another female ally WW2 spy (look them up, they're the fucking best)

11- yes..? I mean my humor may be the only thing thats not

12- no put that in a drink

13 - MCU, the office, or an old show from my childhood

14- never went to one

15- pasta baby, if im ever kidnapped they used a form of pasta as bait

16 - wanted to be in the military, an astronaut and president. Now I'm working on my degree to be a hs history teacher

@ all my mutual who want to :)

tagged by the lovely @shewantsthe-youngamerican

Tagging some of my favorite blogs! @thirsty4chrisevans @capchrisevaans @samnatandsteve @oinchavengewho @chuckbass-love @poppunkdork

1. What was the last thing you had in your mouth?

Cherry tomatoes

2. Do you sleep naked?

I sleep with an oversized shirt and underwear so halfsies?

3. Worst physical pain you’ve ever been in?

When I broke my arm :/

4. Favourite place you have been?

Turks and Caicos Island, the most beautiful water in the world

5. How late did you stay up last night?

1 AM, the norm

6. If you could move somewhere else where would it be?

I’m from NY and I love it here but if I had to move somewhere else It would probably be Seattle, Washington just because I love the ambiance for readers and writers and coffee shops and rain, etc.

7. When was the last time you cried?

I watched Perks of Being a Wallflower the other day so, cue tears

8. Profile picture?

Mr. Shmaptain Shamerica

9. What’s your favourite season?

Holiday season :)

10. If you could talk to anyone right now who would it be?

RDJ

11. Are you a good influence?

I try to be but my inner asshole/quirky self always comes out in the end

12. Does pineapple belong in pizza?

No where near it

13. You have the remote, what do you put on?

MCU movie, The great british baking show, New girl or glee

14. First concert?

Cheetah girls or Taylor swift in like 2006/2007(??)

15. Favourite foods?

Penne Alla Vodka has my heart, Love White pizza w ricotta *chefs kiss* or like hibachi Fried rice with teriyaki (need the teriyaki!!)

16. When you were a kid what did you wanna be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a teacher from a young age but I’ve had three different jobs now working with kids and it has me questioning whether I will have any of my own lmao, I’m currently studying Journalism/Media Communications :) I do love kids and I am good with them but I don’t think I could teach for the rest of my life after being a camp counselor, birthday party coordinator and babysitter

[samnatandsteve]

spent the afternoon with a bottle of pinot grigio CATWS and sketchbooks legacy inking pen

[samnatandsteve]

Nat : where's my cat?

Steve : i dont know, but saw Sam and Buck sneaking around a while ago

*Nat breaks in Sam's room*

*Bucky is holding a pissed Liho*

*Sam is holding a children's book and reading it*

Sam : Hey Tasha, how's it going?

Nat : why do you have my cat?

Sam : Bucky needed a cuddle buddy

Bucky : Dude!

Nat : if you dont need her, give her back

*bucky holds her closer*

Bucky : No! I need her

Nat : anything is different with her when I get her back, ill make you regret it

*walks out*

Sam : okay *flips the page* so the three little pigs were fucking stupid and...

[samnatandsteve]

💐🌷🌹🌺🌻🌸🌼 send this to ten other bloggers you think are wonderful. keep the game going. 🌼🌸🌻🌺🌹🌷💐

Awww tysm!! ❤❤😊

[samnatandsteve]

Scarlett Johansson + Magazine Covers as Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow

[samnatandsteve]

Natasha Romanoff in THE AVENGERS (2012)

[samnatandsteve]

So, apparently Tony yelling at Steve was improvised by RDJ, and in the original script he was suppose to apologize

Let me blunt: THEY SHOULD HAVE KEPT THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT

What we could have gotten was both sides coming together and finally working like a team

(Remember kids, the whole Avengers’ broken up thing is in Tony’s head. Literally every other Avenger was with Steve on Earth while Tony ran off and practically hand delivered the Time Stone to Thanos because even a Universal level threat was not enough for him to get him to work with Steve)

(Don’t believe me? Vision was no longer on speaking terms with Tony and had practically joined Team Cap, T'Challa is casually giving Bucky Sanctuary, Natasha defected to Team Cap and was actively working with him, Bruce is the one who actually made the damn call so Steve could get everyone assembled in the first place, and Rhodey point blank stated the Accords were a bad idea)

What we got instead was Tony Stark throwing such a bitch fit that it degraded every character there.

He rants how Steve lied and wasn’t there when he needed him when it was Tony’s choice not to call

He started ranting about how Ultron had been a good idea, of all things

He tops it off by yelling textbook Hydra propaganda, and this is not even the worst part. Nah, I’d have waived this all off as him just having an emotional moment, except…

Absolutely no one called him on it and it’s just this giant ass elephant sitting in the middle of the room that everyone is casually ignoring

‘Tis a betrayal, I tell you