sammachu

[sammachu]

If you put a dish in a dishwasher, it gets washed. If you put a shirt in a dishwasher, it gets shredded and breaks the machine.

If you put a shirt in a washing machine, it gets washed. If you put a dish in a washing machine, it gets shattered and breaks the machine.

Maybe you are not weak. They just put you into the wrong washer.

[sammachu]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you're on the spectrum and a teacher ever asked you whether you would like to teach this lesson instead since you clearly already know everything about the subject, they weren't actually impressed by your immense knowledge of the subject that you were proud to be sharing. That's just teacher code for "can you like shut the fuck up."

[sammachu]

Just in case any of you are wondering why I seem to have become so much more hostile, aggressive and unlikeable lately, we just got a functioning AC unit in our apartment like a week ago. And since the temperature inside the apartment has gone down to habitable levels, I've actually been able to do things like eating food and sleeping properly, so I've got a lot more energy to be a huge cunt.

[sammachu]

half paying attention and the 7-11 cashier was pronouncing 12 dollars as "two elf dollars" and I kept saying "what?"

[sammachu]

Imagine being at home minding your own business, when suddenly some entity so massive it's barely within the range of your comprehension just breaks in, looking for food, and just when you panic and fear for your life, it just goes "sorry mate, not here to eat you, just your house", and when you go "you fucking what" and it goes "yeah unfortunately you kinda built your shit in the wrong place, I'm taking the foundations" and gently rips apart your walls and proceeds to dig for the cornerstones you built all your shit on. And once done it's like "yeah thanks and sorry lil buddy, build your stuff somewhere else the next time" and fucks off, never to bee seen or heard of again.

Because I think that's pretty much how it's like for the tiny spiders who build their webs on the blueberries when they see me coming.

[sammachu]

It is actually so important to me that Clark did not defeat Luthor. He stopped his current rampage, yes, and that is very important. But Luthor loses the moment the news article goes live.

He is defeated by Eve, who found a way to document all his shady bullshit despite understanding perfectly well what kind of danger she is in. He is defeated by Lois, who already knows Luthor is up to no good but spends the whole movie finding proof of it so she can publish it.

Clark didn't even know about basically any of that stuff before he saw it on the news. He did not defeat Luthor. He just bought Lois the time she needed to do it.

[sammachu]

Just encountered someone describing another person as "controlling freak". I know they probably just meant control freak, but honestly that's got a way sharper sting to it. Not just freak about being in control, but a freak in general who is also hell-bent on having everything done their way. Micro-managing freaky style.

[sammachu]

Okay, english is not my first language so this might be a matter of communication issues: when I say "children are not directly and instantly traumatised by the sight of a natural naked human body", I mean the bodies of living people. Seeing a corpse in some state of decomposition, without being properly introduced to the idea beforehand within clearly defined boundaries is obviously traumatising to a child, regardless of whether the cadaver is clothed or not.

What I am talking about is children seeing people they know in various states of undress in normal home context. But in case you really are claiming that children are by default scarred for life at the sight of people with no clothes on, you guys are just weird.

[sammachu]

In my opinion it's a lot more healthy to be able to own that you dislike someone for petty reasons than to do all kinds of mental gymnastics to make everyone you don't really vibe with out to be a bad person actually

[sammachu]

Dracula and Jonathan’s Tango - from The Polish National Opera production of ‘Dracula’.

With Choreography by Krzysztof Pastor and Music by Wojciech Kilar.

[sammachu]

Fantasy idea: The reason why elves always sound so eloquent and poetic is because they only learn human languages from classic human poems and literature - they are aware that the language in them is very quickly outdated, but it's still easier to maintain and keep up than trying to learn new human vernacular every single new century. They don't talk like that in elvish. Going like

"If all came to pass as my eyes see and my heart pieces it together, it was wolves who tore our camp asunder. At the darkest hour, in the shelter of the night and emboldened by the shadows and our unguarded, defenseless sleep, they emerged from the woods like gaunt thieves to seek whatever they could take."

[another elf, in elvish] "What did you say?"

"Wolves. Them fucking varmints ripped up our shit."

[sammachu]

i love when bigots accidentally paint a picture of a beautiful new world. "the woke left want the government to be run by lesbians" "i went to pride and its 90% trans propaganda now" "theyre teaching your chldren to be communist in school" omg do you promise 🥺

[sammachu]

statements like "It's wrong to masturbate about a person without their consent" and "It's wrong to do something that quietly arouses you while you are in public even if no one can see it" show that a person's understanding of morality basically involves magical thinking. like I wrote this post on the toilet. That's not the same thing as me literally shitting on you

[sammachu]

I love that genre of tumblr post where someone comes up with a fuckass scenario like hey what if there was a root vegetable that dyes your cum purple and stains your skin if someone nuts on you, and it becomes a popular thing and then someone comes up with a lipstick colour that perfectly imitates the same look and for like three weeks it would be the trendiest possible look to wear it because it looks like you just sucked off some slut with novelty colour cum, and everyone who isn't wearing it fucking hates it.

And then someone replies to it with "this is actually pretty much the plot of [one of those old classic animes that you've been meaning to watch at some point but never have] except the guy who invented the lipstick is also doing all of that in order to take over the world because he wants to fuck alien plants" and there's like five replies to that reply going "oh fuck you're right but why did you say it like that."

[sammachu]

When there’s interpersonal conflict do not assume you have to pick a side. You can say ”hey, let me know if you need somebody to talk to” to everyone and get every side of the story and ponder on the complexity of human relationships instead. However it will make you sad and often despite your best efforts it may solve nothing.

[sammachu]

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

[sammachu]

watching 20 year old tv shows is all fun and games until you realize how far we’ve backslid on certain social issues