saltysebastard - Tumblr blog

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my beloved

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Hawke:"I'm going to the market, do you want anything?"

Anders:"A bagel."

Justice:"BLOW UP THE CHANTRY!"

Anders:"Two bagels."

Justice:"NOOOOO!" D:<

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they should have left dorian and the inquisitor in the in hushed whispers timeline for like a month just because it would’ve been funny

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morrigan mansplaining elvhen culture while playing as lavellan hits so close to home (ily morrigan but this is not it 😭)

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yeah the grey wardens didn't save you from dying in the deep roads they just delayed the inevitable you're still an exile you won't rest in orzammar your corpse may not even be found you had to allow yourself to rot from the inside just to live on borrowed time but the worst part in all of this HAS to be that you still aren't dying fast enough to not witness oghren (your friend, the closest thing you have to a family on the surface, he named his child after you) and felsi discussing their FUCKING warden role-playing session right in front of you!!!

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Confession: Jarl Elisif is so great conceptually and I wish they did more with her, she's inexperienced, she's driven by revenge, she wants her people to be happy, she is aware of Tullius's position and chafes under it, she surrenders if the Stormcloaks take Solitude despite it all, and I will never be over it (voice of somebody thoroughly surprised every time a concept isn't explored as much as it could be with several hundred hours in the Concepts Aren't Explored As Much As They Could Be Game).

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Can't stop giggling 😆 Thane looks soo cute💖 sitting like that 😍

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Whatever keeps you around ⸺

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Fic Concept:

Tali'Zorah is, if she does say so herself, something of an expert in galactic romance. Her omnitool hosts a 6 terabyte collection of romance and romcom vids from across the spectrum of known species, and after that much media exposure, she's fairly sure she's familiar with all the ins and outs of each culture's dating milestones.

She knows, for example, that family members have certain duties in a clan member's new relationship, in human cultures. As one of Shepard's closest friends, she also knows that the poor thing has no family to fulfil those duties for her.

Determined to see Shepard and Garrus's relationship turn into Shepard and Garrus's marriage, she starts handing out responsibilities to appropriate members of the Normandy crew. Shenanigans ensue.

(AKA the one in which Tali is convinced common romcom tropes are actually essential milestones in any human romantic relationship, and takes steps to make sure Shep and Garrus get to experience them.)

Ideas that made me horf:

- Wrex, as Shepard's oldest and closest (deeply violent) male associate, is enlisted to give Garrus the if you break her heart, I'll end you speech usually performed by the father, on a visit to Tuchanka. Maybe he absolutely knows Tali has misread this, and lowkey gives the speech over shots of ryncol, wheezing about how Shep would kill Garrus just fine herself. Maybe he has no idea this isn't an actual important human ritual, and performs his part with ceremonial gusto. Anyway, he does it, and somehow manages to be vaguely heartwarming about it anyway or gives Garrus some sign of approval.

- Mordin, as the oldest male friend on the Normandy, is tasked with interrogating Garrus at "Family Dinner". He does so, but very few of the questions he asks are actually relevant to the typical Meet The Parents dinner, and Shepard actually learns a few new things about Garrus herself.

- Joker volunteers to be "mom" and bring out the baby pictures to show Garrus. He doesn't have any pictures of Shepard as an actual baby, but he does have some funny or embarrassing ones from their time serving together under Captain Anderson he's been itching to share, and that's almost the same thing. She's more baby there than she is now, anyway.

- Tali strongly encourages Garrus to spend time "bonding" with Grunt. It's very important to make sure your future wife's child knows he is included in your new family unit, Garrus! An eventful trip to the zoo/museum/etc ensues.

- Bonus wedding chapter where Wrex is bullied into formal wear to walk Shep down the aisle; Jack paints Cipritine face markings on Grunt thinking they're Vakarian family markings and then sets him loose on Garrus's extended family, who are all very confused as to how this young krogan is apparently from Cipritine; Zaeed gives a hilariously inappropriate speech as Best Man and accidentally outs Garrus as Archangel in front of Aria T'Loak; Kasumi attempts to hook up with Jacob in a time-honoured tradition of inadvisable bridesmaid/groomsman couplings, and Mordin makes use of his STG training to break into the honeymoon suite to leave a tasteful gift basket of sex aids on the bed, because Tali has banned him from giving them in front of the guests.

Just. Interfering Interspecies Crew Way Off Base But Have Loving Intentions. And in the end Shepard is deeply exasperated, but also very touched by the effort put in by the people that love them, and honestly lowkey glad that they got to experience those cliche moments after all.

Bonus points: crewmembers who really do see Shepard/Garrus as family also trying to share their traditions with her/him. Like, if a krogan warrior convinces a fertile female to join his clan, that's a big deal and maybe the clan throws a huge feast and party to celebrate, so Wrex does that for them. Or maybe asari pass hereditary jewelry from mother to daughter to be worn at the first bonding ceremony to a beloved life partner, so Samara lends Shep hers to wear for the wedding. Shit like that.

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Brynjolf, on a heist: We’ll break in there or die trying.

Vex, who is doing all the actual work: No one’s dying.

Delvin Mallory: Not with that attitude.

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Drawings from my good friend @innepttia ‘s. Fic of vakarios boys having a naughty time on Primarch Garrus’s desk 😏

Please go read this banger of a fic

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I got back my commission of Nick and Kaidan by @anne-wild last week already, but due to the sketchy internet at my parents’ I couldn’t share it earlier. I absolutely love how they turned out! The colors, the expressions on their faces, the amazing detail is just mind-blowing. 

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Doing a DA:I playthrough, so i needed to do an art for my Adaar. HOLY SHIT is my hand sore, but I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Dont know if i achieved the tarot art style, but i DID ME BEST.

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prothean astronomer

Reference to vedentta's costume (though hard to identify)

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Traditional art by AnnaSabiNoKami

Part II.

Hi, guys, hope you enjoyed some of my fanmix. Also, I glad you can see ideas that i’m trying to make in my drawing. But apparently, sometimes I haven’t… idea. Mhee. Just smut.

Hm…

<3