salrai

[salrai]

*gets neck-deep in 3 gun tumblr rp and neglects my main*

hii

[salrai]

[salrai]

my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk

[salrai]

happy wolfwood wednesday (he's happy too!)

[salrai]

sorry i said it was hot when you were bleeding out :/ you literally didnt die why are you mad at me

[salrai]

i told my friend’s dad that he was hot (it was in context with the conversation, he was complaining that he was feeling old, etc), and he said a very genuine thank you and the conversation moved on to other topic, my friend was now talking about something else entirely when his dad goes

“i think if i were born in your generation i might have been bisexual”

and friend got kinda mad at me lmao

[salrai]

[salrai]

we had a whole pearl-clutching fest last month debating whether or not we should laugh at billionaires killing themselves in their own deathtraps meanwhile media executives feel comfortable saying shit like “we’re just waiting for the people we’re exploiting to go homeless” with zero personal consequences. we need to stuff more billionaires into shitty submarines and laugh harder

[salrai]

Money need to stop spending me

[salrai]

Shout out to anyone that ever made a character that’s a ‘Secret Government experiment’ that escapes the lab and is now wanted and misunderstood. That’s top tier character design, thank you.

[salrai]

It’s giving “let’s make up some info about aliens to distract people while we commit war crimes” or perhaps some other awful action around the climate

[salrai]

he may be fucked up, but i gotta tell you he has excellent tits

[salrai]

FROM THE DEEPEST PIT OF THE SEVEN HELLS TO THE PINNACLE OF THE HEAVENS THE WORLD SHALL TREMBLE! UNLEASH ULTIMA!! is just the incantation for ultima and the only prerequisite is being cringe enough to recite it with the proper amount of chuuni flair. the heart of sabik's only power is to make adults feel no shame about doing and saying shit that's super lame

[salrai]

It truly is its squirmles.

[salrai]

i like the term "gallows humor" because it always makes me think of someone getting sentenced to death and being like "i have GOT to be the funniest person at my public execution"

[salrai]

The psychiatrist diagnosed me with divine madness

[salrai]

not enough fucked up little freak animals in the barbie movie. not enough busted ass capital-c Creatures. barbie god's™ mistakes.