salamander-shaming

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imagine if you teleported to a big multiversal hub of every version of you from every parallel universe and like 99.99% were just minor variations of some weird beetle alien and it turned out being a human made you one of the zany gimmick versions

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when you think to yourself "i should make this relationship more fucked up and difficult to define" that's the aromantic demon talking. and you should listen to it.

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false alarm don’t date men that look like the standing man emoji 🧍🏻‍♂️

We look too good together so a launch is a launch 🤷🏻‍♀️

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You don't like New Yawk? 🗽? Bada Bing?

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800ROOM.GIF, retrieved via S&S Enterprises’ InterNet Connection CD (Dec. 1992 via cd.textfiles.com. Artist info appreciated; initials bottom left BP.

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dating apps are embarrassing crushes in real life are embarrassing the only option left is to elope with a tumblr mutual

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i got distracted while packing up my room (pardon the mess)

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I never posted this from Nashville??

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🎶 Girl Dinner🎶

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this is comedic genius but 90% of my followers are horny toads and this isn’t a picture of my titties

this tracking shit is easy

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this tracking shit is easy

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when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. when all you have is a paintbrush, everything looks like a canvas. when all you have is a cock, everything looks like the exhaust pipe of a 2014 honda civic. so yes, to answer your question, i am stuck. please call the emergency services