safarihut

[safarihut]

“Now Colin, you’ve always been seen as a romantic lead to the ladies. How did you apply this to a gay context? Was it difficult for you? How did you-”

[safarihut]

me, talking to a dog: you’re soft. are you even aware of your mortality? of course ur not. u pure, wholesome and sentient unselfish being. do u feel that? that’s my heart. i love you. look at those ears. here take my wallet

[safarihut]

Astrology Tumblr: Your sign says you’re a french fry

Me: ME AS FCUK

[safarihut]

To be honest.. if more children were shown from birth that they are loved, cared for, and listened no matter their gender we might not have some of the problems we have now.  

[safarihut]

i love housesitting because it’s the opposite of rent…like ur gonna pay me to pet your cat and eat your perishables and shower in your fancy bathroom? ok?????

[safarihut]

Robberies are getting harder due to unexpected reasons

[safarihut]

i’m introducing my little cousins (ages 3 and 6) to studio ghibli movies. the first one we watched was ponyo, and we watched it like 6 times in two days because the 3-year-old kept requesting it on repeat, and she started crying when we suggested we watch something new, so i told her “this one is just like ponyo” to console her long enough to get five minutes into spirited away and realize she likes it

anyway now she refers to spirited away as “ponyo 2” and the rest of my studio ghibli collection as “the ponyos”

[safarihut]

how to compliment a friend

[safarihut]

Eating is crazy. You put food in a cavity where you smash it with 32 bones then a meat tentacle pushes it down into a pool of acid WTF

[safarihut]

hey gang im ordering 14 dollars worth of soda and nothing else from my local dominos

im thorsty

[safarihut]

[safarihut]

time to call otters “moist boys”

[safarihut]

[safarihut]

The Milt Kahl Head Swaggle (Source: Cartoon Brew)

[safarihut]

[safarihut]

[safarihut]

robber: hey give me all ur money

me: how about i instead buy that gun off of u for all my money

robber: ok

robber:oh shit now ur gonna rob all ur money back

me:no im not a dick who robs people

roober: that hurt way more than any bullet would