sacriliciouslut

[sacriliciouslut]

what if there was a show where every character was gay and you had the token straight guy character who acted really stereotypical and was into cars beers and women and everyone was like OH STRAIGHT LARRY YOU’RE SO FUNNY AND STRAIGHT

[sacriliciouslut]

Source

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[sacriliciouslut]

look I'm not gonna pretend I know anything about electronics, but sometimes a plug is so big it blocks another socket, and I'm always like "who the fuck do you think you are"

[sacriliciouslut]

yesterday I told a friend "drown your sorrows tonight but save one bottle to make a molotov tomorrow" and I'm actually very proud of that. might embroider it on a pillow

[sacriliciouslut]

let's watch horror movies and fuck all night

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animated fantasy films just don’t make fucked up evil castles like they used to

[sacriliciouslut]

Gee, Florida. These Italian nuns posing for a selfie with the statue of David certainly don’t think it’s pornographic.

When you are too prudish for nuns, ffs.

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Kinda surprised how many different animals can be black and tan

[sacriliciouslut]

one time a guy i know whose girlfriend was heavily pregnant didn’t tweet anything for a whole day so i texted him ‘congrats on your baby’ and made him think i had some kind of baby precognition 

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To all restaurants: you need an online presence OTHER THAN Facebook. Like, something people can access without any account or login at all.

Also, that online presence should just show your menu. Not a PDF download, simply your menu, directly, no need to start an online ordering process.

I remain amazed how many ways, in 2022, places can fuck this up.

[sacriliciouslut]

[sacriliciouslut]

dragon bf that takes you to his cave, picks you up, then lays you on his pile of gold and jewels and says you’re his greatest treasure

[sacriliciouslut]

I got the Grindr app mixed up with the Pizza Hut app

Either way, there’s a 10” vegetarian on the way and I’m not sure what to expect.

[sacriliciouslut]

Anyone who says "You don't look autistic!" deadass thinks that every single autistic person looks like these mfs

[sacriliciouslut]

love to be paid a leather pouch heavy with coin that makes a satisfying clink as the mysterious stranger sets it down meaningfully on the oaken table