saakkkka-blog

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Listen/purchase: better boys club by SXYLK

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OMFGGGGGG

Depression meal 639

family size bag of tortilla chips at a slow but constant rate over a 12 hour period

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😭😭😭

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Anna May Wong (1938)

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Anna May Wong (1937)

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Pietro Baltazar by Philippe Vogelenzang – Made In Brazil #11

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A post shared by Donatella Versace (@donatella_versace)

this is like… SO transcendent  

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Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Things are crashing all around me. Things are crashing. Omfg. OMFG. #boys4sale #kidulthood (at Miami International Airport - MIA)

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I feel like fucking Lindsay Lohan minis the ankle bracelet. But I NEED the ankle bracelet. I deserve the ankle bracelet. Why did I eat at Zumba but not pay my credit card off!???!???!!!!!! Like just now. I'm walking down biscayne I hope I get fucking hate crimed. #boys4sale #kidulthood (at Biscayne Blvd.)

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Do models ever really feel alone though? I fucking hateeeees Miami, idk where else to go. I've pissed off so many people with my careless behavior. Even myself. And I'm too proud to ask for help when I really need it which makes me hate myself even more. I just... I miss my dad. I miss feeling young. I know I'm attractive, but I don't feel good about it. I look at my friends and I'm like... I actually hate you- but that's how I feel every time I switch a friend group. It's fucking painful at this point. This started out as a trauma blog about how I was fucking abused and mentally fucked by men but now I'm like.............. bitch get your shit together. AND, I feel like I only got to the emotional point to start a blog like this because of fucking Venus retrograde and having no one to really vent to and I'm like. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WHY DID NO ONE CHECK MY IMPULSIVE SPENDING, I RAN THROUGH MY ENTIRE TRUST. IM FUCKING BROKE. IM ALSO CUT OFF EXCEPT FOR WHEN MY PARENTS DECIDE TO GIVE ME PITY MONEY. WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME TO GROW UP (IN A NON BITCHY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE CHILD HATING WAY) WHY. WHY. WHY. I DONT WANT TO BE A LOSER AT THIRTY BUT I HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP SKILLS. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO TALK TO MY FUCKING ROOMMATES. ALL I DO IS DRINK EVIAN AND SMOKE CIGARETTES AND LOOK CUTE BUT BITCH. IS IT ENOUGH?! CLEARLY. FUCKING. NOT. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. #boys4sale #kidulthood (at Zuma Miami)

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Sometimes enough is too much. Sometimes enough is too much. This past week has been a whirlwind and I've been meditating to the song 'St. Martin de Porres'. It's not enough so I match the meditation with a few key bumps. I've lost like 5lbs- whatever whatever don't judge me. I think that... stress builds character of course, but when the stress is applied just for the sake of being stressful... isn't that wicked? Isn't that just wicked. And a person like me, who is prone to self-destruction... well... I self destruct. So funny how a trickle down effect of missed deadlines and due dates can end with you almost being homeless. Sobering almost. But fuck sobriety right???? #boys4sale #kidulthood (at Miami, Florida)

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(saaka)

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(saaka)

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(saaka)

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Broke as fuck. Doing coke. By myself. Watching sens8. No one loves me like I need it so I cry almost every day. I've died 999 times. This is me. I'll be ok in the morning if I don't die alone I just don't want to die alone. You've all let me die alone... I'm not drinking. I haven't been drinking. I'm a good boy. #boys4sale #kidulthood