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[rynweaverwriting]

20 Something Questions For the Twenty-Somethings

A birthday present for Ryn by Maria Kornacki

The effort of art is to slow the rapid motion, to bring it to a halt so that it can be seen, known. - Joyce Carol Oates, Telling Stories

In a world where screens and filters allow us to fine-tune what others see, interviews are the unfiltered lens through which the core self breaches through. The word itself contains ‘inter’ (“the inside”) and ‘view’ (perspective). 

Would you be friends with someone for months without asking any questions about each other? I use this logic when diving into the interviews of artists and people I’ve recently discovered. Not to mention, the act of listening is a skill to continuously strengthen. On a similar note, learning about the whole astrological chart and not just the sign leaves more room for understanding on a deeper level.

A well of information unfolds between two people asking and answering a series of questions. Moreover, the responses are often more sincere than a simple google search or post might tell you. It’s a conversation, not just an update. The backstage persona is unveiled. If our social media presence is the cover, then interviews are the story itself. 

Artists are particularly articulate in the art of storytelling and I’ve found that they are equally as poetic in their approach to music-making as they are in formulating verbal messages. Asking the right questions is also required in order to unravel this thread of lyrical conversations. 

Irony lies in the timing of this interview exploration. Citizens are governed to wear masks in public and social distance from other humans. Additionally, we’ve seen an outbreak of discrimination over the color of another human’s skin. As a result, people are taking insistent action for the outdated injustices. “Uncomfortable” sums up the experience to say the least, and yet a nudge of uncertainty provokes growth. 

Live shows are a no-go because public spaces hold too many face-to-face interactions. What does an artist do if their career relies on the support of these gatherings? In this case, music does its best to stabilize and to fill other spaces. Music is the filler of voids and the stationary reservoir. Songs have the same transformative healing through the ears as they did before all of the blindsided turbulence. They go right to the internal matter.

In the middle of writing these paragraphs, I passed by “Izzy the elephant” in my hometown. Everyday for the  past six years, this giant elephant statue holds up a new inspirational message on a whiteboard to brighten people’s day. 

I didn’t fully get to read the end for accuracy, but I’m pretty sure the one I saw read: “Ask yourself, am I shining in the light of my darkness?” 

This global pandemic is a waiting game in the dark. Everyone is still blindly walking around, facing the situation mask to mask. We don’t know how long or what our communities will look like as we merge back into them. I do know this: asking questions is momentum. More wisdom creates an influx of movement. 

What better time to ask questions than a period where we are physically inside and going inward? The world appears to be moving backwards, but a different perspective suggests it’s just a pause. We’ve traveled past the point of our bodies losing grip in the wake of a retrograde. Revolutionary shifts are speeding up the enlightening process. A new reality is being shaped by the steps we’re taking today. 

So, are you a fool for asking questions or do you ask questions because it’s part of the quest a fool is fixated on?

“There is a proper procedure for taking advantage of any investment. Music, for example. Buying music is an investment.” - Gil Scott-Heron

Interview:

1. How did you celebrate your birthday?

Quarantine Questions:

2. How would you describe your quarantine experience from the start up until now? 

3. What have you learned from the time spent social distancing and is there anything new that’s occurred to you based on your current surroundings?

4. How have you been dealing with the concept of temporary virtual shows? In other words, what are your thoughts as an artist in quarantine? 

5. What’s been keeping you motivated during this period? 

Reading, Writing, Consuming, and Creating:

6. How has the pandemic affected your writing? Have you been writing more, less, or the same? What kinds of writing have you been doing?

7. Who/what has been inspiring you lately?

8. What was the last book you read about and what are you currently reading? Have you ever thought about writing a book? If so, what genre would it be?

9. What’s a book/author you’d currently recommend? 

10. Why should people read books?

11. What poets/poems do you resonate with? Any black poets or poems you’ve come across recently? 

12. I noticed personally in my own writing that my style is often influenced by the content I’m reading at the time. Do you find that what you read explicitly or subtly bleeds into your writing or sometimes both? 

13. Going off of the last question, a lot of what I listen to ends up interpreted in my writing. What audible content have you been consuming? Are there any specific artists, songs, podcasts, documentaries, or even films that are resonating with you?

14. How does literature and art connect to music-making?

15. What’s the last interview you watched/listened to?

16. How did the music you grew up listening to shape the way you think about music while creating and listening to it now? Also, you mentioned you had Motown playing in your family’s house. Who did your family listen to?

17. What exactly are you concerned about in terms of artists moving forward from the current state we’re in?

18. What are you hopeful for in the music world after we return to the “real” world? 

19. What kind of content do you think we’ll be hearing?

20. What does the music industry need more of? What do you think there should be less of?

“Meanwhile music pounded across hearts opening every valve to the desperate drama of being a self in a song.”

The Fool and Other Record Reflections:

21. How has timing played a part in the decision-making process of creating and releasing new music?

22. More specifically, how have the past five years shifted your perspective of The Fool? In other words, what parts of yourself do you still see in the record? What no longer resonates?

23. On a similar note, how have you grown musically since we last heard you on the record? This can be sound wise or your mental process anywhere from writing to production.

24. What would you say is one of your favorite songs from The Fool and why?

25. As someone that’s constantly reworking writing pieces almost to a fault, I imagine it’s difficult sometimes to put the ribbons on a piece of music for others to listen to. How do you know when a song is “done”? What about an album?

26. In a Joni Mitchell interview with CBC News: The National, she said she doesn’t like to look back at her music because she hears the things she’d do differently. “Divine dissatisfaction” is what drives her to her next period without making the same mistakes. 

Out of curiosity, how often do you listen back to your music? Do you get too critical or are you proud overall? Is there anything you’d change if you could?

27. So, this next question is sort of ironic for several reasons. The first being I asked and answered this in my previous interview session. The second is that my response focused on the concept of someone asking a lot of questions, but not getting all the answers to make them feel satisfied...

What does it mean to be a “fool” to 28 year-old Ryn? What other lessons have you learned over the past year?

Looking to the Future:

28. Since we’re on the topic of age. With a new age comes a new year of shifts. How do you feel about this new age that we as a collective are heading into?

29.  What are you looking forward to in terms of your next musical era and without giving too much away, what do you want fans to get out of your next record? 

‪When it's safe to resume normal life again, we're going to need live music and comedy more than ever. Please help @NIVAssoc with federal funding by supporting & cosponsoring S. 3814/H.R. 7481, the RESTART Act #SaveOurStages‬

https://www.nivassoc.org/take-action

[rynweaverwriting]

The Dizzy Stargazers Project: 5 Questions for 5 Years of The Fool

Conducted by Maria Kornacki

Shoutout to Malcolm MacMaster for the support and giving me a space to make this happen!

“An artist's duty, as far I’m concerned, is to reflect the times.” - Nina Simone

“Music is a universal language” is a common phrase, but it rings true. Music brings people together. Artists often thrive on the intimacy of live shows. However, quarantine has put life on hold.

Social distancing combined with social media challenges us to communicate in other ways. I’ve seen people’s creativity shine during these strange times.

This project is intended to give voice to people, hear their stories, and see how we’re all connected. It’s also a celebration of five years since The Fool was released. It’s a time of reflection and moving forward.

I sent these five questions to several of Ryn Weaver’s fans/friends. The answers could’ve been in written form or a video:

What’s one of your favorite songs and/or lyrics from The Fool and why?

What does it mean to be a “Fool” to you?

What’s one of your favorite memories  of Ryn, either in real life or just through social media interactions?

How has your perception of Ryn’s album and her music as a whole shifted since first listening to it? In other words, have you gained any new insights or is there something in your current life you can connect back to certain themes in The Fool?

In what ways has music helped you?

Responses:

Maria Kornacki (ig: @maria_kornacki)

1. Here Is Home is a standout stylistically. I just like how it has an “in-between” tempo to fit the lyrics. New Constellations and parts of Traveling Song are lyrical embodiments of “the fool” to me, which brings me to my response.

2. A “fool” to me is someone who asks a lot of questions, but doesn’t get all the answers to feel satisfied. Thus, they live the outer life of a nomad stemming from an endless quest for wisdom in their inner world.

3. My favorite memory has to be going live with you for your enriching and confidence-building creative writing prompts despite me being a little unprepared the first time. It made me realize how many music and book synchronicities we have. Also, shoutout to my blue soul individuals: Maggie and Joni. Nina is a color of her own.

4. I connect more with the concept of loss and not settling in terms of my career life. The themes of The Fool follow me in different areas of my life. I also relate to the idea of “what if there’s more?” even just through learning new info and diving deeper.

5. Music has helped me share my expressive and creative sides as well as connect with like minded people, hence why I started this project (2 weeks ago). I didn’t really see myself as someone that could lead, organize, and share my ideas openly, and yet here we are.

Sam (twitter: @heremotionss)

1. My favorite is Pierre because of how personal sounding it is and I love the chorus.

2. I always associate it with being renewed and falling in love.

3. My favorite Ryn memory on social media is when we tweeted about her pet rat.

4. The Fool is an album that doesn’t age. I think I can associate this album personally with coming into young adulthood.

5. Music is a language that can connect with any emotion, and any time in life. I think when certain pieces of work can make people feel something, then it becomes a movement in a way.

Sarah (twitter: @rynsgirlfriend)

1. My favorite lyric from The Fool is "I've never been one for goodbyes". I have trouble dealing with grief and losses and this is very comforting to me.

2. What being a "fool" means to me is following your heart and passions although it may seem crazy. Being a fool to me means submitting to your desires even if you know better.

3. Ryn has always been nothing but caring and compassionate to me. Every time she has supported me is a time that is my favorite. Throughout the years, I've carried heavy trauma with me that's made me erratic, emotional and hard to understand, and Ryn has always been nurturing and supportive.

4. When The Fool first came out, i haven't experienced the pain I have prior to the album release. When I listen to the fool now, I connect more than ever, having dealt with limerence and how painful it can be.

5. Music has helped me feel less alone. I remember always thinking I was crazy and that there was no one like me i could relate to. When artists release vulnerable songs it is metaphorically (to me) a hand on my shoulder, sitting with me through the pain and letting me know I'm not alone.

Bo (ig: @kyototrain)

1. I think my favorite song off of The Fool is New Constellations because it addresses the main point of the album; the uncertainty of what path to take in life. It resonates with me because when I entered college I thought I was confident in what I wanted to do, only to realize I was clueless and unsure of my future. I had to seriously think about what I wanted for myself and how it might make the people close to me feel. While all of the possibilities life can take you can be overwhelming, there’s a relief in it knowing you can choose to be anything you want and do anything you want.

2. To be a fool is to not let the fear of finding your own way in the world keep you limited to something that makes you unhappy.

3. My friend group on twitter added Ryn to our group chat (Taco Bell vigil). We added her thinking she would never come in to chat but she did one night, and we talked with her until like 2 am about music, theatre, stuff like that. It made us all really happy. She comes back to talk sometimes and she calls us tacos.

4. The Fool came out when I was 16, so I didn’t have much life experience. As a result, I wasn’t able to relate a whole lot to the album (I still had it on heavy rotation though). Now that I’m 21, I’ve had so many wild experiences and growth. I can relate to the album a lot more. Whether it’s the love you feel for a soulmate that you’ll feel even if you grow apart (Here is Home), or the feeling of freedom and the need for something more than you have in the moment (New Constellations), it’s helped me appreciate the album even more than I already do.

5. I love music so much because of how versatile it is in the sense that you can have music that you’ll play to get immersed in or music that you play while you’re studying. It can help me escape as well as help me stay focused.

Tate (twitter: @octatate)

1. My favorite song from The Fool is definitely “Promises”. I think all of Ryn’s lyrics are excellent but there’s something so compelling about the lyrics in that song to me. Also, the chorus is fun to scream along to.

2. Being a “fool,” to me means putting up with bullshit from those around you because you care about them, and letting people tell you what you are and what you will be. My entire life I've had people in my life that have tried to bring me down and stand in my way, and for a while, I put up with it. I didn't want to upset anyone, so I just kept my head down and kept moving. In recent years, especially this year. I’ve realized that I need to STOP being a “fool” and stand up for myself  and now I’m making a conscious effort to do so.

3. My favorite memories of Ryn are probably the ones of the conversations my friends and I had with her in our twitter group chat, Taco Bell Vigil. She used to come in and talk to us about Björk and stuff and she was always so sweet and down to earth. It felt like she was actually one of our friends just having a casual conversation with us.

4. I think my perception of The Fool has changed in the sense that my favorite track has changed constantly throughout my time being a fan of her. For a while, it was “Stay Low,” then it was “Pierre,” then it was the title track, then it was “New Constellations,” and now it’s “Promises.” I think I definitely connect to “New Constellations” the most now though, especially the “What if there’s more?” part in the outro. I'm going off to college soon, and lately I've just been thinking about what more the world has to offer me, and where I'll end up. I've lived in the suburbs my entire life, and I want to know if there’s anything more I can do to make the most of my time left in my hometown, and what more the world holds for me wherever I end up going for college.

5. Music is basically the only thing that consistently brings me happiness in life. It’s a constant and always will be. If i’m sad, it’s there for me. If i’m angry, it’s there for me. Whenever i need it, it’s there. I know how corny it sounds, but listening to music really has shaped my life for the better. Ryn’s music especially is very important to me, and I'm sure that years from now when i’m a grown man, I’ll enjoy The Fool and “Reasons Not to Die” just as much as I do now.

Antonio Múnera (ig: @artangelszs)

1. New Constellations have always resonated with me deeply, especially at this exact moment, since I just graduated high school! The music that I like the best always provides some sort of catharsis, and to me, this song is the epitome of that sensation. Every time I listen to it it’s like all of my negative feelings and thoughts are purified. Of course this doesn’t actually happen, but for those 4-5 minutes, I can almost feel all of my problems disappearing. I find solace in every lyric in the song, but particularly in Ryn’s final inquiry, “What if there’s more?” Songs like this are what keeps me searching for that “more” in my life!

2. To me, being a fool specifically comes with some sort of awareness. Even Ryn herself admits that she’s a fool in the chorus of the title track; it’s both a tragic yet solemn way of describing oneself. It’s being conscious about one’s own self destructive behavior, while simultaneously trying to improve as a person. I’m eternally grateful for people like Ryn that share their stories so people like me, another fool, don’t feel so alone in this behemoth of a world.

3. Initially, my favorite memories of Ryn was when she replied to a few of my tweets. However, talking to her twice on instagram live and being able to read my own poetry to her was genuinely one of the most invigorating moments of my life. She even called me a “little poet” once I finished reciting one of my poems :,) But I think the best moment was when she called me “Colombian daddy”. Now THAT brought a tear to my eye.

4. I was in eighth grade when The Fool came out, so naturally, my first listen of it was a bit cursory, for I didn’t really focus on lyrics back then. However, once I actually focused on what Ryn had to say with her album, it became a whole different work of art. This is also because as I grew older, my anxiety and depression just got exponentially worse, and though depression isn’t really a theme explored in Ryn’s album, it does deal with themes of hurting, acceptance, and an ultimate need for emancipation, which are all topics that resonate with me. While The Fool used to be an album that I listened to just to pass the time, now it’s an enlightening experience every time I listen to it, and I can definitely say that it’s going to be one of my favorite albums of all time for the rest of my life!

5. I thought that films were the ultimate source of escapism and happiness, but over the years, I’ve found music to be the most indispensable thing in my life. And that’s not an exaggeration in the slightest. I possibly wouldn’t even still be alive without music like Ryn’s. She is certainly one of my reasons not to die ^-^

Destiny Thomas (ig: @destinyxcx)

1. My favorite song by Ryn is New Constellations, I actually wrote about it in my magazine. There’s a whole page on that song and what the lyric "you can run if you want to" means to me. When I first saw Ryn live on her Misfits tour she would make a speech before New Constellations and inspired me since then to always run from something or someone you're attached to if you're unhappy with it.

3. One of my favorite memories of Ryn was when she was on tour for sure, it was so much fun and of course one of the first times I saw her live and her VIP package on tour was really cool. She's very sweet to her supporters and loves talking to everyone. I'm just really excited for her to come back whenever she's ready to play some shows and release music!!

Nat (twitter: @track1O)

1. My favorite songs from The Fool are Sail On, Here Is Home and New Constellations. I listen to these songs when I’m feeling down because they somehow make me happy, I just feel like Ryn is singing the songs for me and for me only. New Constellations was produced by my favorite producers so this song is very special to me, I love everything about it. Traveling Song is another one I love with my whole heart, I know Ryn wrote this song for her grandpa, this song was already out when my grandpa died, I think I was the saddest person in the world when that happened but listening to it made me feel a little bit better, I messaged Ryn on twitter and thanked her for this song. My favorite lyrics are “soulmates aren’t just lovers, you know?” and all the lyrics from New Constellations.

2. I love being a fool, I’ve never experienced being a fool for anyone but I know I’m a fool in general. I think that’s one of the best things about me.

3. I’ve never meet or seen Ryn live but we used to interact a lot on twitter, my favorite memory is when she came to Mexico to play at a festival but I couldn’t go because it was so far from where I live but me and other friends messaged her and tried to plan a road trip to meet her (it didn’t work but it’s still a good memory lol)

4. I fell in love with her voice and music when I first listened to it, I was so happy when she announced The Fool and I played the album on repeat for months. I can’t wait to listen to her new music in the future.

5. Music is something that makes me the happiest person in the world. I love it so much and that’s the only thing that makes me feel alive. Ryn’s music has helped me a lot. It makes me want to sing, dance, cry, etc. It has helped me during difficult times like when my grandpa died, Reasons Not to Die helped me think about everything in my life when it was released. I just want to thank her for making amazing music, I miss her voice so much so I hope she releases something soon.

Gigi (ig: @misdenlaide)

1. Well I love pretty much all the album, but a song that stand out the most to me is New Constellations. There a lot of heartbreak songs out there, from the person that's been left perspective, but not so many from the person who leaves. I've been in that situation and the way she put it into words was extremely smart. 

2. To be blind. As an example, you know the reality of a situation, but it is not the one you want, so you fool yourself and you just try to make it happen the way you want it to happen... when it won't. Or when you just don't see stuff because of that same reason. I don't know if I made myself clear... you see roses and technicolor when you know you are being a fool with someone else. “Old dog, new treat”.

3) Well I haven't met her in real life (yet), but I remember the songs of the album being there in different situations of my life. I can relate to them a lot, so whenever I was in a similar situation, I just felt like they got me.

4. YES, since The Fool came out I connected to it a lot. Because of old relationships and stuff, where I've been the fool, when I wanted to look for new constellations, when I never meant to break my own promises, and the perspective changed a lot as I was living the same things the songs talked about. For example, New Constellations. I thought it was kind of a love song and then I realized it was a song from someone who leaves another. Crazy, but it happened, and it just made me appreciate her music more.

5. Music has a big impact in my life, so much I want to dedicate the rest of it to music (I am studying musical production now). I met friends because of it, cried tears of joy and sadness. It makes me calm and makes my heart beat faster... I believe that music is my true love in life. It’s something I struggle to put into words. It’s my fuel. My reason to be here, essentially.

Andie (twitter: @andrewdxrling)

1. My favourite lyric would be “My wings too wild to clip and cage around me” (I mean, it IS tattooed on my bicep!). It means a lot to me because it’s a reminder that I can’t let anyone try and use my own mind and heart against me or to try and quiet me. And since it’s on my bicep in Ryn’s handwriting, it’s like a constant reminder from her to always spread my wings and be my authentic self. 

2. To me, being a fool means accepting all the aspects of yourself. The crazy and wild ones, the fucked up ones, the messy ones, and the good ones. It means letting yourself be the entirety of who you are.

3. My favourite memory would be during her second tour when I saw her in LA! I had seen her a couple times on the first tour in the north, but then I moved! When I saw her in LA, she remembered me, and talked with me and it was such a nice feeling to know someone I hold very dear to my heart can spend the time to recognise and acknowledge me

Anyjah (twitter: @ANyjahh_)

1. Literally the entire album is one I hold so close to my heart. There’s about three lyrics from three different songs that come to mind as a favorite. The first is “sail on”. It’s such a short phrase but the song is literally one of my favorites still on repeat to this day. Every time I think about the phrase it reminds me of being somewhere deep in the middle of the ocean without any worries, sailing on. 

The second would be “Child of Neptune I’m the daughter of the Sun” from New Constellations. That is such a powerful lyric to me. When I think about that it boosts my self-esteem. Like imagine telling someone you’re the daughter of the sun. So powerful.

The third and last is “even if you stay or if you go” from Here Is Home. I got that tattooed on my collarbone. That song brings me such peace. People come and go. It reminds me of that saying if you love something or someone, and you set it free, and they come back, then it’s meant to be. 

2. For me, being a fool means to be naive or played, but people have made it sound so negative and condescending. We’re all fools at one point. I think it’s like a learning experience while you’re young. It’s not all bad. 

3. I honestly loved when she released Reasons Not To Die to the world. Not only did she get to see that I loved that song because she talked about being afraid of releasing music, but I feel like it was such an empowering moment for her in her life and I was so in awe. 

4. For me, I see The Fool as a growing experience, and it’s just something that brings me back to my very own youth/how I’ve grown myself. 

5. Music has helped me to create and feel relatable. I love that no matter what you’re feeling or going through, there’s always a song out there you can listen to and realize someone else may have gone through the same thing as you. Music also helps me to create through writing. I can take the story of a song and turn it into my own that way.

Mariana (twitter: @Marispiva)

1. My favorite song from The Fool is “Traveling Song” because I went through a similar experience as Ryn but with my grandma and that song helped me get out of the deep depression I went through after she passed away.

2. Being a fool to me means learning from your mistakes in order to reach the top of the mountain. Bringing new beginnings into your life and going on a journey, not knowing what to expect. I look at the positive side rather than the negative side.

3. My favorite memory was when I flew to NYC for the Steve Madden show. It was my first time traveling outside of Chicago and I needed to meet her since I wasn’t able to after the Chicago show for the Misfits Toys Tour. Also, tweeting her to get her Big Mac ass outside so I could meet her lmao.

4. I feel like The Fool as a whole is for misfits like me. High school was the hardest part of my life and it wasn’t easy to fit in, especially transferring to a new school twice. People always looked at me differently and never accepted me, so when Ryn released The Fool, I felt a connection and it helped me shape myself as a person. I didn’t care what other people thought about me and always stayed true to myself.

5. Music has helped me in SO many ways! Music is my escape from reality and I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for music. It’s the only thing that keeps me mentally stable so it has helped me battle my demons. Music is my therapy.

Jade (twitter: @FoolRyn)

1. My Favorite song from the record is New Constellations. English is only my second language, so when I got the album, and heard it for the first time, I had to look up what Constellations meant. Little did I know, she was singing about my absolute favorite thing in the world. My favorite lyrics have to be the first line of that song. No matter how many times I listen to it, I still close my eyes and imagine living every word. It makes me feel at bliss.

2. To be a Fool is to be a wanderer, not just physically but spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.

3. One of my earliest memories and my favorite ones is interacting with Ryn on twitter and just enjoying memes. 

4. For me, her music got better and better with each time listening to them. Even now 5 years later, I find the slightest of things in the production or the range of her voice. It’s absolutely fascinating!

5. Music helped me with a lot of things, from trouble at home to mental wellness. Without music, I wouldn’t even be sure I'd be alive.

That’s all! This project is what you get when a double Aquarius and a Leo moon come together. Thank you to everybody who participated, either through text or video, and thank you to Ryn for gifting us with such beautiful music!

#BLM Petition Links:

https://signatures.carrd.com

https://blacklivesmatter.com/petitions/

https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

Books about Race:

https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/race

[rynweaverwriting]

ecdysis by chase gray

hit keep reading for a text version of the poem

Right now, we live in this stasis.

A stasis that, when we come out, will transform us.

Shedding this cocoon that our minds have made,

creating a somewhat false sense of security we envision.

Will we ever be truly “back to normal?”

In a lot of ways, yes.

But there are going to be stray threads wherein that tell us to be wary,

be careful.

Our “skin” is intangible,

but we are releasing it slowly.

Going to the supermarket,

running errands… Life can’t truly stop.

As I think back and look at the proverbial skin I have lost over the course of the past month,

I think to myself that this has been a time for us to recharge.

Our perspectives are shifting,

our influences and inspirations growing,

our motivations slightly askew to the environment.

We are finding light in new crevices and cracks.

What we do with that light going forward will make all the difference in the world.

These hands; they want to create and strive to do something more.

The mind, however, is overpowering and overreaching.

[rynweaverwriting]

ingrid by zach solomon

hit keep reading for a text version of the poem

A trek across the country,

North to south. East to west.

Cocooning in the city of Angels.

I told you I loved you, you told me to stop.

Were you his or mine?

Coastal neighbor but possession of the East.

I kiss the ground you walk on.

I clean the dust you leave on the floor.

I prep your sustenance and take your blows.

I carry on with a smile and nod and agree.

I ring and I ring and I beg for your help.

You tell me I don’t have consideration.

Your plans are my plans.

No ifs, ands, or buts.

And then a break.

Ripping off the bandage and letting the blood boil over.

We both know it hurts to salt the wound,

but instead you salt the earth.

I feel the air clearing and at home.

[rynweaverwriting]

untitled (inspired by ryn) by maria kornacki

hit keep reading for a text version of the poem

Hair shadows the earth’s rotation,

temporary shift within. The tilting axis is

off balance, but you find a place

in passing perspectives.

No more bangs and the blonde fades,

a cocoon elevates us all

to see contrasting colors.

Wings folded like fall into winter,

tips and the span, chaos or

patterns like wind.

Seen, heard, and touched

all aligned as the vertebrae of songs

blossom from the inner beating.

The age you become famous at

is the age you remain, I heard a singer say

they’ve heard this before,

but the quote is not for you.

Growth stretches, see how

age is just numbers and then sum.

Daybreaks, the blood of the sun

spills waterfalls of light,

a sacrifice

a chalice to fill the self.

Laugh without judging the inner fool

joke’s don’t nudge all ears. Music reaches

beyond sound, it’s frequency

waves and tides

lessons from you. Notes

discovered and relistened to.

Once heard, vibration becomes vision

I see you years from now and the sight is metallic loud.

[rynweaverwriting]

ecdysis by maria kornacki

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We all have fires we’re darting like deer and fawn from and into, it’s the churning of the sea, the incessant flickering of white, to blue, and then red. Flames burn, but they are the child learning the fingers create and deconstruct. The inner child and inner fire birth a scaled wall that molts itself at the tail end of new landforms. The hands grow to build themselves sustaining magma that once scarred palms. Draw with these permanent markers on caves, canvases, the skin, and you’ll see the layer of blistering light underneath the false iron cuticle of dark matter.

[rynweaverwriting]

relent by antonio múnera

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Though I used to live in a whirlpool of perennial stupefaction, I currently can’t help but feel absolutely everything. Never has being perishable so comforting. Being irrefutably impaired has never felt so liberating! Now I realize that I’m living in the sublime halcyon days of the future— I am simply part of a parable that is in someone else’s hands. And as I hear the music from down the street, I can envision every single note circling around me. And even though I’m slowly being pushed into the ground by this infectious symphony, I can’t help but to feel the soil constantly embracing me. The thought of the earth’s inner core had always been insignificant to me, But now, all I can think of is how it would feel to dive right into it.

[rynweaverwriting]

the meadow by antonio múnera

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And he could see the meadow from below.

It glowed with effervescence

As they raced across it alongside the cranes.

They airily skipped stones on the river

That slipped under the surface of oblivion.

And as they saw the poppy stems vibrating—

The waltz of the blossoms,

The lively assembly of color—

They didn’t stop to wonder who fathers the zephyr.

Bliss filled their eyes,

And as the decaying star draped its fire over them,

Their every pore absorbed it,

Turning the light into a ceaseless fountain of zeal.

As they looked down upon him, they beseeched,

“Will you come up before the sun is gone?”

But time and space belied the golden grassland’s distance,

For as he tried to reach into his zenith, the vulture creeped from the corner.

It breathed down his neck;

Devoured the luminous vigour out of his flesh.

Moribund and earthbound he lay,

Like carrion melting into the silver sea of asphalt.

And he could still hear their faint chant,

Mellifluous like a melody,

“Now that the dew has dried, what will you decide?

Come forth towards the north, past the pasture we will hide.”

But their symphony was futile,

For he could already feel the moon rising behind his eyelids.

And as soon as he turned into recycled stardust,

An ephemeral beauty lit up the sky.

As he left the whirlpool of human endeavor behind—

The triumphs and the genocides,

The deliverance and the bloodshed—

His memory became insignificant; his echoes were now irredeemable.

And as the sublime turmoil grew quiet,

He became tethered to an everlasting impermanence.

Unencumbered, he realized that his ode could be heard here and there;

Everywhere and nowhere.

He strode towards the path that he never took;

He went through the door that he never opened.

And once he became part of the celestine-spangled ocean of cosmos,

He was able to remain both all-knowing and clueless in one single breath.

And he could see the meadow from beyond.

[rynweaverwriting]

the burning leaf by chris bayer

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I sat there, staring at the dark abyss in the sky. I only saw emptiness and the floating branches of trees swaying to the sound of silence. The fire crackled beside me and created an invisible shield of warmth around the area. I tightly shut my eyes and let the thoughts traveling through each crevice of my mind take me away. A big gust of wind swirled through the trees and the leaves began to gracefully cascade off their branches and travel through the air. I watched as it floated freely and danced with the wind as if they were partners. It all too quickly landed in the fire I set ablaze. I watched as the veins of it’s heart tore apart and burned brightly. The edges were singed more and more with each passing second until there was nothing but ash.  I lay there, burnt down, nothing but a pile of ash, waiting to be blown away into oblivion.

[rynweaverwriting]

acceptance by natasha mahtani

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As I walk through the halls of the house I grew up in,

a feeling of unsettling rushes through me.

Something feels off, different.

No matter how hard I try,

I can’t help but miss the life I had in Los Angeles.

Where I had the best years of my life,

whether in college or the year I spent after living in the heart of the city.

Where I made friends that would last me a lifetime,

and got to do what I could on my own terms.

Breaking into music is difficult,

and I never thought I’d have to move home after only a year post graduation. But, with the immigration and visa laws, it’s no surprise to anyone.

I come home to an ecstatic family,

who always wanted me to move home sooner rather than later.

To friends that I grew up with, and will always love dearly.

But something about me still feels like I belong back in LA,

and my work isn’t quite finished there.

I take a deep breath,

and try to make it through a day feeling normal.

It doesn’t work.

Weeks have passed, and the unsettling feeling hasn’t gone away. But,

I take another look around,

and finally start to accept it: the new normal.

[rynweaverwriting]

memory by natasha mahtani

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All the days have blended into one,

and I’m having a hard time remembering what happened when.

I feel like it’s been no time since yesterday,

but a month since Friday.

Everything around me seems to be moving in slow motion,

but at the end of the day,

seeing everyone come together has been beautiful.

It’s been difficult to say I’m “happy” about anything lately,

but truthfully,

I think everyone is doing their best to find comfort in this trying time.

I instantly take myself to exactly a month ago

where I travelled an hour out of LA for the weekend with my closest friends.

While it may have been the drinks from the winery we visited,

or the fact that the car full of girls spent an hour screaming

“on the fourth of July I met a man Pierre,”

the happiness that I felt hasn’t come back since.

I don’t know when I’ll be able to do anything like that again,

or even go back to LA.

I take comfort in these small moments and do my best.

All I know is,

the memories will stay with me longer than this trying time will.

[rynweaverwriting]

ecdysis by chris bayer

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Ecdysis is defined as the shedding of old skin. This commonly occurs in reptiles but as my life goes on, I realized we as humans do it often. The process of shedding that skin for humans can be tough and rigorous. With each layer we peel, we get closer to finding who we are under all that. I can’t pinpoint how many times I have gone through this cycle but I do know that I just recently have. Obviously throughout quarantine, we have been going through rigorous changes and many of us are learning lots of new things about ourselves. I personally have discovered a lot. I am not the same person as I was at the beginning of my freshman year, my senior year, and this quarantine. When I get this feeling of being lost during change or “in the blue” that usually triggers a physical change. Sometimes it’s gaining weight, sometimes it’s losing. Sometimes I just shave my head because I need the outside to match the process happening on the inside. This time I dyed my hair pink. There’s no full explanation I can give except that, I simply was feeling pink on the inside. Prior to this, I had been texting an old ex and going through all of the wrong turns we made together. I just remembered the burning passion I had once felt, because it wasn’t love, just lust, and then I remember how quickly I left him burn me down. I wanted to start leading my life with both my brain and my heart, so I quickly ended it. A friend that had been close to me for over 6 years and I had a break up. I spent years being gaslighted and feeding so much of my energy to them, that it was time for me to recharge. That wasn’t good enough for them but i can’t be someone’s sole power source. This was a person who needed my constant care and validation because she didn’t have any for herself. I was playing a never-ending game of tug of war where I kept giving in and losing. The love i so often neglected for myself, for them, needed to heal me. I’ve been keeping in touch with other former lovers and friends but I think right now, the partner I need most is myself. Once I stripped all that dead skin off, there was nothing left but pink bliss. I don’t know what will be under my next layer, but for now I wanna feel whatever this is.

[rynweaverwriting]

placeholder by malcolm macmaster

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we sit in the backseat dirt embeds itself into the knees of my jeans my hands rest against your hips as you sit and watch a piece of me die i didn’t mean for this to happen not like this my body vibrates with the pangs of guilt, shame, and sadness this wasn’t meant to happen but i let it i want to make it stop but i can’t speak my mouth is preoccupied offering itself as a sacrifice ending what’s left of my innocence filling itself with rash decisions and lifelong regret it swallows these things whole, unchewed sitting now in my stomach just as large as they were upon consumption ever present, unable to be eroded by the acid i starve myself, and they’re still there they’re all i feel everyday my stomach rumbles sending waves throughout my body every fingertip and bone and muscle filled with despair will it ever end? since that night, my mouth has been glued shut from the inside i long to open it, but it’s beyond my control i wish for a friend to come pry it open but lack the ability to ask them out loud is this how it ends? is this my life now? do other people feel these same things? i’ll never know the answer anybody who could give it to me is glued shut like i am we suffer in silence unable to reach for help or solace we just put up with it we hope someday, someone will see it in our eyes and when they do, the glue will dissolve and we’ll finally be free

[rynweaverwriting]

ecdysis by malcolm macmaster

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it took only two weeks for them to drill their way in

eating away at my skin until nicely settled at the deepest layer

parasites of depression and loneliness,

starvation and hopelessness

living inside me, eating more of me each day

i felt their bites daily

everytime i stood up, i would feel the pinch of their nibble

each day a pound lighter thanks to it

an emaciated figure hiding under a blanket

left alone aside from those 4 little friends

my only company in my never ending solitude

every night, a kiss to them before bed

“sleep well, i’ll see you in the morning”

for a month they stayed by my side

doing everything i do, always talking to me

letting me know how they felt

telling me how i should feel

i decided, subconsciously, that i had had enough

my skin began to grow against my will

pushing my friends out along the way

within a few days they had left me completely

in their place was a whole new body

one filled with life and longing

my friends were no longer welcome

not for any extended stays, anyway

they still visit from time to time

checking in on me, seeing if i’m okay

noting that my hair looks different

joining me at the dinner table

but never for very long

farewell, my friends! so long, goodbye!

may the next person you visit learn as much from you as i did!

so long, goodbye!