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im seeing them today and genuinely i am so excited i feel nauseous
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feel like killing myself but what else is new
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maturing is turning ur blood vial necklace into a guitar pick necklace <3
#the vial was. rotted actually if im being real#and im out of chain so#AND IM SEEING THEM THIS WEEKEND!!!! i think it would be cute to wear the pick he gave me ^___^#🎃🏒#☣.
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officially opening up applications to find a dilfy tboy chaser
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theres a new litter of strays running around and one of them looks a lot like my kitty that passed a few months ago :(
#i always put a bit of food out for the strays we have around here because a lot of them are just house cats that get dumped when ppl moveout#but this new litter being half tuxedos makes me so emo.. the other half of them are solid black which makes me SO NERVOUS FOR THEIR SAFETY#like both for black cat stigma and just them running around at night#but im sure theyll be fine :( i hope#my neighbor is kind of a huge fuckwad tho and ive already heard her yelling at them ?? theyre baby cats. be nice or leave them alone#☣.
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also with fear of sounding too parasocial. i keep thinking about him and then getting physically sick and then having to do grounding techniques to calm down. and its over just like mundane shit and its EMBRASSING I HATE IT
#genuinely its shit like 'aww i bet he has an air fryer' and then i have to spin around for 15 secs because the thought of a man in his 40s#owning and using an air fryer has (FOR SOME REASON) made me so overjoyed my body cant handle it#or the other day i tried doubling up on merch and i had to change my shirt bc seeing him anytime i looked down was too much#ITS SO STUPID ITS STUPID ITS STUPID#my new favorite thing to imagine is what his social media feeds look like AHAHAHAHAHAHA#like i'll be scrolling thru whatever and watch some total brainrot and then my mind will automatically go#''his explore feed doesnt look like this. it's probably like xyz''#🎃🏒#☣.
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theyre playing at a haunted house next weekend omfg.......
#FOR $60. bc its a festival#BUT HOLY SHITTTTTTTT THIS IS GOING TO BE SO FUCKING FUN!!!!#its a horrorcore rap fest so !!! i will have fun even tho idk anyone else playing#like i cant find a timeline anywhere. but oh well#and i got another local friend into their music so <3333#AND HE REALLY LIKES THEM <3 his fav is the drummer which :) is so fun since hes the one that runs the merch booth yay!!!!!!!!!!!#and then the weekend AFTER that theyre playing at a horror convention .... i might go to that too#but i need to buy a weekend pass for that and >< idk if it'll really be worth it sorry boys#i mean i say that but if i DONT go i'll be at home on the verge of suicide for real over missing them#🎃🏒#☣.
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i have covid.. AGAIN
#i have got to stop going to music festivals everytime i come back home im sick#(im not gonna stop going)#☣.
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oh my god and i saw them again in NJ and it was so much fun 😭😭 the bassist called me out while they were on stage like "?? what are u doing here arent u from ohio" YESSSS <333
and he also gave me his pick before their set started, and after they finished he came back up to me to make sure i got one of the guitarists picks too. hes so sweet <33
and the drummer chatted w me when i went to buy merch before the show started :3 again so sweet and fun
#this happened last week and im STILL THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!!!#i cant believe the $20 concert for a band ive seen multiple times before was more impactful than the $200 concert for a Very Important Band#🎃🏒#☣.
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just got back home from a 2 week vacation and ended it w getting into an argument w my mom so 🤓 hi everyone i back
#went to NY for concerts and friends. came back to ohio for a music festival#ALL OF IT WAS REALLY FUN!!!! besides yesterday but we move on#or die trying#☣.
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packing for my trips and it really is putting into perspective how i only own 2 pairs of pants
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and the week after that is the gathering,, NEVER KILL YOURSELF.
HOLY SHITTTTT they just announced a show in NJ.. the day after my mcr show. guys....................
#AND GW@R WILL BE THEREEEEEEEE#so within the next 2 weeks im seeing 4/5 of my favorite bands in the entire world#the emotional crash after will be hell but in the moment im going to be loving life and everyone on earth!!!!!!#this makes up for how shitty wrestling has been as of late tbhhhhhhhh
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HOLY SHITTTTT they just announced a show in NJ.. the day after my mcr show. guys....................
#YES IM GOING!!! bc my friends are there to enable me (and one of them also likes the band bc i was annoying enough abt them LOL)#genuinely this has me so.. idk. giddy AHAHAHAH#i get to see 2/5 of my favorite bands with some of my favorite peopleeeeeeeeee#i never thought the day would come let alone TWO BACK TO BACK#🎃🏒#☣.
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also im fine now. left my room for the first time today, messaged the ppl ive been isolating from, ate some grapes. life is gud 👍
i know i say this a lot but i really am tired of everything. and ive been feeling this way for at least 10 years now. and the only things that have changed have been for the worse. so i dont know. maybe we give it another five years and see how it is then
#for now but i still have to do dishes and laundry and shower and I DONT WANT TOOOOO#but my brother/in law is coming over tomorrow and if the house isnt clean they berate me the entire time :|#which is annoying bc their house isnt that clean either and their apartment is smaller than ours!#anywaysssssssss
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first time cutting on my thigh deep enough to warrant a bandaid and OUCHHHHH
#men that sh where are u guys doing this that isnt ur wrist#im covered in hair everywhere else. and every movement hurts more than the actual blade LMFAO#and do not even try telling me to shave /silly#☣.
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