rvlvroclt

[rvlvroclt]

“The name’s Ocelot. You know who I am.”

+ an mgs rp blog feat. revolver ocelot. 

+ formerly @rvlvroclt

+ Willing to play anything from MGS 1 to MGSV. 

+ Pretty good.

[rvlvroclt]

I’m a lonesome cowboy.

Peanuts, July 24, 1953

[rvlvroclt]

“The name’s Ocelot. You know who I am.”

+ an mgs rp blog feat. revolver ocelot. 

+ formerly @rvlvroclt

+ Willing to play anything from MGS 1 to MGSV. 

+ Pretty good.

[rvlvroclt]

considering making a new ocelot blog.

check your idroid for details.

[rvlvroclt]

All additional information is under the read more.

Keep reading

[rvlvroclt]

If you really think about it, the fundamental difference between Ocelot and Kaz in regards to Big Boss is that Ocelot would gladly die for Big Boss but Kaz would only die with Big Boss.

[rvlvroclt]

I grew up without Internet. Can you please explain why we all love Hideo Kojima?

[rvlvroclt]

By request I translated another one of Nagi’s comics.

Please support the artist by eating your burgers properly.

[rvlvroclt]

' i’m not stoned at all. hell no, not at all. completely not stoned. i’m completely not stoned. i’m straight. completely straight. i could do anything. shit, i could be a brain surgeon. brain surgery, i could do that. uhh, i should’ve been a surgeon. that’s what i should’ve been. '

Ocelot snickered. "Good God. You're embarrassing."

[rvlvroclt]

"Good." Ocelot kissed his forehead. "You put your feet up and relax for a while."

"I've not seen you eat a vegetable in a week- how about I make you a proper dinner?"

“Ocelot, I’m used to strict field rations and eating whatever I find during the mission, are you really fussing around because I didn’t had time to eat some veggies…?”

[rvlvroclt]

"I'm not on drugs. I'm learning about snipers. Trees talk. Not like we do. But I'm telling you they can help you if you know how to listen."

"Trees can talk but only some people can hear them. That's a fact."

“What kind of drugs were you taking now, Ocelot?…”

[rvlvroclt]

GTA V SENTENCE MEME PART ONE.

I’ve got respect for reality.

I’m protecting you, from yourself.

Are we gonna stop for ice cream?

Your hostility is depressing, ( name ).

You make me want a lobotomy!

Anyone seen my pogo stick?

You should be a meme, dude.

You’re a genetic experiment gone wrong.

Look, I love you, ( name ), but you’re an asshole.

I guess I never saw myself as just a fuckin’ pest

Fuck you! Fuck you, ( name )! Say it again!

I’m drunk, but shit I’m not getting drunker.

I’m rich, I’m miserable - I’m pretty average for this town.

Now go! I need to meditate. Or masturbate. Or both.

I’m wondering where my life went wrong.

You’re sorry? You’re fucking sorry? I just spilled my fucking guts out to you and you say to me you’re sorry.

Am I meant to find a job, or is a job meant to find me?

How do you write a resume when you haven’t done anything?

You’ve burned every one you’ve ever known. 

Trees can talk, but only some people can hear them. That’s a fact.

Tress talk, but they aren’t very interesting.

I just saw a fucking ghost and I gotta hear your crap?

You motherfucking fuck! I grieved for you! You weren’t even fucking dead.

I’ll swing by and sign the contracts, alright? Just ignore the bodies!

Bounce? We’re bouncing now? Is that what we’re doing? Jesus fucking Christ.

I think that I would recognize my own underwear, now give them back!

You can jerk me off if I get bored. I’m kidding! You can suck me off.

What a gentleman. And, for once, I’m not being sarcastic.

…I think I’m becoming immune to boobies.

I’ve got nothing against you apart from the obvious hygiene issues.

You’re so original, like a basket full of puppies or a rainbow or a pile of puke.

…You are what hipsters aspire to be. You, ( name ), are the proto-hipster.

This is a serious offer! Work for me, you’ll have everything you’ve ever wanted.

All I’ve ever wanted is to watch you drift in and out of consciousness as you’re slowly disemboweled.

You’re like every other asshole. You made a bit of money, and you became a turd.

Go fuck yourself. Are you some kind of pure, morally justifiable asshole? What, because you’re… you’re totally psychotic, somehow it’s okay?

It seem like all I do is let people tell me what to do and I do it and nothing changes.

If you can’t trust a hooker to hold you through the night, who can you trust, eh?

Remember to turn off your cell phone, and please don’t masturbate

Unless I can get a degree in being a reality tv star, I’m not interested.

The only way I’m content and competent is with a gun in my hand or a price on my head.

Look, I made a judgement call. I don’t know if it was the right one. I did what I thought I had to do.

You wake up one day and your legs, they just give… and you just can’t run anymore.

Maybe I’m here because I’m just an idiot, who thinks that imported palm trees are a good substitute for not really knowing what the fuck you’re doing on this earth.

You forget a thousand things every day, pal. Make sure this is one of ‘em.

You tell me exactly what you want, and I will very carefully explain to you why it cannot be.

Are you absolutely completely one hundred percent sure you don’t want to watch me gaming?

Even on the way over here I think I killed someone, and you know what? I don’t even care.

You know, I’ve been in this game for a lot of years and I got out alive. If you want my advice - give the shit up.

Surviving is winning, ( name ), everything else is bullshit. Fairy tales spun by people too afraid to look life in the eye. Whatever it takes, kid: survive.

You are either drunk, or you’re staring miserably at the clouds, or you’re out there doing God only knows what.

I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t agree with what you’re saying. You’re talking bullshit and you’re trying to wind me up. But I’m very, very angry and I want this conversation to stop right away.

I’m not stoned at all. Hell no, not at all. Completely not stoned. I’m completely not stoned. I’m straight. Completely straight. I could do anything. Shit, I could be a brain surgeon. Brain surgery, I could do that. Uhh, I should’ve been a surgeon. That’s what I should’ve been…

[rvlvroclt]

GAME GRUMPS SENTENCE STARTERS. 

❝ God, what if we just fucked one day? ❞

❝ Don’t sass me in front of the internet. ❞

❝ Follow your stupid fucking dreams. ❞

❝ Come at me scrub lord, I’m ripped. ❞

❝ I just wanna have sex with space. ❞

❝ Get in the tub with me, daddy. ❞

❝ Will you just relax and let me kill for money? ❞

❝ That sounds like your problem. Fuck you. ❞

❝ Stay in school. Don’t do drugs. Eat your teeth. ❞ 

❝ Make like a tree and fucking die. ❞

❝ Dude just…just pity laugh at least. ❞

❝ Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird. ❞

❝ We are like the Stephen Kings of stupid. ❞

❝ Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so? ❞

❝ Do I have to jerk you off to blow your mind? ❞

❝ I haven’t had so much fun since I killed my parents. ❞

❝ Unfortunately I had sex with a guy/girl over the weekend. ❞

❝ What’s a vegetarian zombie say? GRAAAAAAAINS. ❞

❝ Revenge is a best dish served fuck you. ❞

❝ Who wears pants anymore? So 2015. ❞

❝ I need an ice cream sandwich and a gentle blowjob. ❞

❝ Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. ❞

❝ The bananas has gone bad! ❞

❝ I cared for those bananas! I raised them with my own two feet! ❞

❝ Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke. ❞

❝ What if everyone just had constant helicopter dick? ❞

❝ [ name ], does getting me wet fill you with determination? ❞

❝ I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian. ❞

❝ Wouldn’t it be funny if, like, you lost a family member? ❞

❝ These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed’. ❞ 

❝ Call me One Direction ‘cause my relevancy is dropping by the day. ❞ 

❝ One time I killed a person and I didn’t report it to the police. ❞

❝ I wanna take a girl to the Grand Canyon, fuck her, and throw her in. ❞ 

❝ Nothing like a gunshot wound to the face to really mellow someone out. ❞ 

❝ If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst! ❞ 

❝ [ name ], I’m on a date with a guy/girl right now and you’re embarrassing me. ❞

❝ I’ve made a decision. I’m gonna in the kitchen, gonna open the dishwasher, and I’m gonna climb inside. ❞

❝ I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified. ❞

❝ I could pee on this couch, right now, no problem, while looking you directly in the eyes.❞ 

❝ Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’ ❞

❝ All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are blue, except for three of them. And there are four. ❞ 

❝ And Abraham said unto Moses, ‘Bro, dude, aliens.’ ❞

❝ I’m gonna throw you out the window. We don’t even have any windows in this room…I’m gonna carve out a window and throw you through it. ❞ 

❝ DO IT YOU SACK OF SHIT! – Sorry. That didn’t come out as encouraging as I meant it to. ❞

❝ [ name ], if there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.❞

❝ If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else. ❞

❝ Next time we make love, [ name ], would you please refer to me as your sweet cakey treasure? ❞   

❝ I try to show at least one other human-being my butt hole every single day. ❞

❝ The only people who don’t like sluts are the people who don’t get any. ❞ 

❝ Have you ever though of a career in driving people fucking insane? Because you are already a PRO at it. ❞ 

❝ I am actively looking for ways to get you to shut the fuck up. ❞

❝ First of all, you have to stop calling it ‘Mary Jane.’ That’s the first rule of stonerdom. People will think you’re a fucking narc. ❞

❝ First of all, no one says ‘pot-eyes’, you fuckin’ narc. ❞

❝ If by OK you mean like on the inside I’m just going ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’ then yes, I’m quite OK ❞

❝ When you walk outside there are three elements of nature that you must avoid: snow, wind, and bees. ❞ 

❝ Could you imagine if you unlocked outfits in real life? Like, “Congratulations you wiped your ass, here’s a new shirt.” ❞

[rvlvroclt]

So my brother just paid me to buy a life size solid snake and im having to take him home on the bus

[rvlvroclt]

"Yes! When you have access to good food, you have to eat well. I know how you feel, but you can't live on rations all the time." Ocelot moved his hands to his hips.

"Besides, you know as well as I do that you're not at a hundred percent- you've got your strength and made progress, but you're still healing, and not eating well or drinking enough water isn't helping that." he crossed his arms. "I'm making some stew. And you're going to at least try it."

"I've not seen you eat a vegetable in a week- how about I make you a proper dinner?"

“Ocelot, I’m used to strict field rations and eating whatever I find during the mission, are you really fussing around because I didn’t had time to eat some veggies…?”

[rvlvroclt]

Emotional abuse works like this: You are screamed at, and then, not knowing any better, you stand up for yourself. You think this is a way of being strong. You think this is a defense tactic.But this only provokes more screaming. Going silent provokes more screaming too, but usually it keeps the threats to the minimum. It keeps it just at screaming and not: a shove down the stairs, or order to pack your stuff and get out. So you learn how to go silent. How to play dead. How to cry without making a noise. How to swallow noise. How to wipe your cheeks, get out of the car, and go about your day. You learn. And when the screaming has stopped, when the two of you are in the car or out to dinner and they’re all smiles, all asking for favors, all questions, you are still hurt and annoyed and want to ask them, how? How can you speak to me like that? How can you pretend you did not say those things? How can you have forgotten? But you’ve learned. So you listen to, “Can I borrow your key”s and “how was your day”s and you play dead. You swallow the noise. And sometimes it doesn’t matter who is speaking to you, it doesn’t matter if they’re a friend, it doesn’t matter if their criticism is constructive, it doesn’t matter. You’ve learned. Any sort of speaking, any raising of the voice, any insult and you play dead.

Good Girl, Lora Mathis (via lora-mathis)

[rvlvroclt]

[since you've answered in private] "I don't want to leave, though. It wasn't a suggestion."

"Snake. . ." Ocelot sighed, resting his head on his shoulder. "You win. I'm too tired to fuss about it. . ."