rustedskyprisms

[rustedskyprisms]

I’m super sleep deprived, like longer than 24 hours without sleep, and I’m just lying here unable to sleep and having those minor pseudo hallucinations I sometimes experience (long story but mild HPPD) in the dark while listening to that Spend the Night With mixtape that Joel Ford and Daniel Lopatin did and I’m kind of wondering if my entire life will just be some variation of this.

[rustedskyprisms]

Saw a post talking about how so few people know that Brigitte Bardot is like a massive bigot, and I think that’s largely because she’s one of those famous people who doesn’t even register as anything beyond a symbol or an image to most people. Like, I don’t think many people even care to begin with about what she believes in any context, because they just know her as a certain icon of beauty. But yeah, she’s an incredibly shitty person.

[rustedskyprisms]

It’s simply that no one else involved in the genre has that same sexy psychedelic mystique to them.

[rustedskyprisms]

fire opal

[rustedskyprisms]

I liked substances so much because they were the only things that could match my intensity.

Actually yeah literally nothing in my life is escapism beyond sleeping. I basically fight and power through everything as long as I’m awake. The level of intensity I have is something that has put me at odds with a lot of people, but I don’t really know how else to approach things, other than very passionately. I’m not talking about anger, I mean that my energy, even if it’s not “energetic” in a traditional way, never stops. I don’t relate to the deal of shutting off, of really being calm. I’m always moving on some level, either physically or mentally.

[rustedskyprisms]

Supersymmetry//Laurel Halo

[rustedskyprisms]

More Than This - Roxy Music

[rustedskyprisms]

you can tell things are bad when this type of article is coming back...

[rustedskyprisms]

Like people really do see me as stronger than I am, and it’s a lot to live up to. I don’t get read as weak or stupid in the slightest, and sometimes I wonder if it would be easier if I did. That would bring its own set of self-esteem issues, but, it’s like I get seen as a “fighter” and a “thinker” and that’s only because I’ve had no choice.

My whole life I’ve heard, “people only care about my body/looks and it’s so hard” but if you complain about people placing you in this role of, “people only care about my ability to make them think”, you get seen as an asshole who thinks you’re smarter than everyone. But people underestimate how much pain I’m actually in because the assumption is that I’m intelligent and strong enough to deal with all of it, and has been since I was young, and that’s pretty difficult.

[rustedskyprisms]

My whole life I’ve heard, “people only care about my body/looks and it’s so hard” but if you complain about people placing you in this role of, “people only care about my ability to make them think”, you get seen as an asshole who thinks you’re smarter than everyone. But people underestimate how much pain I’m actually in because the assumption is that I’m intelligent and strong enough to deal with all of it, and has been since I was young, and that’s pretty difficult.

[rustedskyprisms]

I’ve never watched Stranger Things and never will, but, is the synthwave shit used even good? I’m kind of curious about that.

My favorite thing about this statement is no one in the interview gave enough of a shit to give the name of said band

[rustedskyprisms]

Honestly in an ideal world I’d be a sexologist who writes about music on the side. My fascination with human sexuality is because it’s pretty much everywhere, but it’s very taboo, and that harms people. But, I do not agree with this approach that all sex is great and positive, and I think as a society, people just need to have more honest conversations about it. The ugly parts, the parts that make people anxious or uncomfortable, the parts that bring people joy, the way it is commodified, the way it is used as a from of manipulation, all of it. The goal is obviously to reach a point where I can begin school, because I do feel a lot towards this subject.