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Ada Limón, from "To the Busted Among Us", Sharks in the Rivers

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Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

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The amount of time and trial and error that happens between when you realize you need to change and when you actually start digging your heels in and making those changes is often literal years which is so crazy cause we can know something for so long and refuse to let it sink in when we know it will deeply disrupt our lifestyles and comforts/crutches so it just prevails for so much longer than we could ever imagine even when we realized so long ago what was wrong we just back pedal when we are scared until something just cracks and we feel ready

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― Albert Camus, Notebooks: 1935-1951

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I wanted my first year in my 30s to be in the direction of the life I deeply want. I wanted to get some of my life together, at least build solid habits that aligned with it. but I feel further away, like I ran in circles every few months and now I had to prioritize things that aren’t aligned to me and I just feel like I was already losing myself. Now I feel lost. I feel like all of the parts of myself that I cherished in my twenties got hushed away and shamed away and then I had to get serious and do serious things and think seriously and it’s not right and I know it’s not right. I turn 31 saturday and I just need to have grace for myself I guess. forgive myself for not having the year I desired, for not showing up for my soul.

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peopleiveloved

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Mary Oliver, “Dogfish.” Dream Work

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Grief is the only proof that I love and I love well. Love and grief are actually intertwined with each other and as "Akif Kichloo" once wrote, "the opposite of grief is not laughter or happiness or joy. It is love. It is love. It is love."

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grief is so crazy like what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. does she know i loved her. i miss her so much. i catch myself doing things she used to do. i wish i could call her. i miss her so much. i do a crossword puzzle. i cry while washing the dishes. does she know i loved her? my heart feels like a hummingbird. i miss her so much. what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. what if i forget.

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We were right for each other once. Whether we always will be, that’s anyone’s guess.

— Kazuo Ishiguro, Never Let Me Go

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heal so your actions align with your intentions

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both worship and condemnation erase the possibility of truly seeing someone

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Fyodor Dostoyevsky // Alanis Morissette

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Sonia Sanchez, from Like the singing coming off the drums: Love Poems; “Remembering and Honoring Toni Cade Bambara”

[Text ID: “i have stored in my / blood the / memory of your voice”]

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in this terrifying world you continuously have the power to offer someone else a little relief . why would you withhold that. do you remember what a little relief feels like? it feels like a lot

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“A song, when being sung and played, acquires a body. It does this by taking over and briefly possessing existent bodies: the body of the double bass standing vertical while it’s being strummed, or the body of the mouth-organ cupped in a pair of hands hovering and pecking like a bird before a mouth, or the torso of the drummer as he rolls. Again and again the song takes over the body of the singer, and after a while the body of the circle of listeners who, as they listen and gesture to the song, are remembering and foreseeing.”

— John Berger, from ‘Some Notes About Song (for Yasmine Hamdan)’, Confabulations