rsvppitkincounty

[rsvppitkincounty]

Domenico Gnoli (Italian, 1933-1970)

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trump won

and it’s like all the lights shut off

making that powering down sound

very very silent and quite

booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom

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AYO EDEBIRI

Before the academy gala by Morgan Maher (October 2024)

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i just want to go limp

flip over fold in half

into his arms

he can carry and drag me

prop me up and protect me

i’m so baren and desperate

the hole in my chest and between my legs

burns yearns then mourns

why am i meant to feel this way over and over

again and again and again and again

do it again all over again

how sad and pathetic is enough for our father

art thou in heaven?

thy name have mercy

i always felt ignored in this way

no matter how i begged

so i guess i’ll just cry and try to wake up again

[rsvppitkincounty]

[rsvppitkincounty]

imbinitions

looked it up today

cliche weekday gag me

delay natural decay

release your inhibitions

feel the rain on your skin

no one else can feel it for you

only you can let it in

live your life with arms wide open

never really made sense

was but a shy child

cry smile reconcile

lost of for the sake of having friends

got em back cause i never grew up

[rsvppitkincounty]

#need him

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i hate writing on my phone but i just need to get it out there that i wish i had a soft and loving touch to soften sharp pains and outbursts of nature our modern technology numbs and soothes just the internal force still acts on the object neglect the weight solve for the moment

[rsvppitkincounty]

[rsvppitkincounty]

instead of reaching out to you

or your newest form

i chose to put your shirt on

the one you let me have

i cut it up all choppy

and i remembered your house

so retro

anyway i put on your shirt

instead of calling you

cause your dick game sucks

we all know we all knew

and i can stay mad at that face

but i gave it a chance

youre a great guy

i think about you when i see trains

wondering if my iteration of you will be half as great or enamored drunk off a train trip

you’re great but i’m horny to plug the hole in my chest

and don’t want to barren the fag

just kidding same bestie

just two bottoms in the world

this world is fucking tiny actually not just small

but my birthday passed and i remained celibate

another year just the same

not worsened by the shame of men

so honestly thank you for that shirt

it’s provided me with hope

it’s my rosemary i count the stitches

its my heirloom i remember you

i remember what wasn’t and what was

so thanks again and see you hopefully not ever

but i fucking showed you my favorite spot smh

[rsvppitkincounty]

i stared at his chest

his tits

cause i couldnt look in his eyes

and i told him baby one day you just might be surprised

i dream

i daydream

of something that doesn’t exist

[rsvppitkincounty]

he said he liked my shirt

when he should have said id like any color shirt on me

it don’t matter the color of that shirt

i want you to

i need you

oh baby oh baby

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Frederick Mershimer - First Snow (1998)

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another day of saying things I don't necessarily even agree with

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go diva!

[rsvppitkincounty]

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the aching in my chest returns this time of year

this time of night

i have love all around

i don’t trust it, but i do

and it hurts

it aches

why can’t you be here to hold me

and kiss it all away

i don’t even know you

and i ache just the same

even more tonight and yesterday

lonely over seldom these days

i miss you

i wish you were here

i miss your warmth and comfort

it’s uncomfortable without you here

where the fuck are you

i can’t even cry about it anymore

it feels pathetic

the lexapro helps with that

i’ll just move on i guess

the ache never leaves though

i hope you know that

you cause this

by not being here

to soothe me

i miss you

i miss you

i fucking miss you