royal-viridian

[royal-viridian]

ohh i get it.. i'm perverted and unwell and depraved

[royal-viridian]

[royal-viridian]

the sensitive gamer

[royal-viridian]

man inflation's hittin hard

[royal-viridian]

funny fish postcard i drew a couple weeks ago :3

[royal-viridian]

As seen on “Reddit” site

[royal-viridian]

the way ppl have designated cuddling as a purely romantic thing and is weird outside of that context has done widespread damage to our pack animal nature

[royal-viridian]

this is one of my favorite english words. and what i aim to become.

[royal-viridian]

If you’re being questioned about a murder by one of those hobbyist detectives. it is an absolute rule that you have to be washing the dishes or pruning some plants while talking, so that when they finally get around to asking a pointed question about where you were at the time of the murder you can freeze for a second with a knife in your hand. It’s enrichment for them you gotta understand. They thrive off of red herrings, it’s their favorite treat, so even if you have a rock solid alibi and weren’t involved with the murder at all you have to give them some reason to be suspicious of you. It’s what friends are for.

[royal-viridian]

Thirty-seven-year-old bank employee Brian Terlaine is apparently spending his entire adult life avoiding any activity or decision that might give him the smallest bit of satisfaction until both of his parents have died.

Despite the fact that he is a grown man capable of forming relationships, seeking a job, or wearing any article of clothing he chooses, Terlaine has apparently opted to postpone any such choices until his entirely healthy parents Tom, 68, and Barb, 64, are no longer alive to second-guess or disapprove of them.

Full Story

[royal-viridian]

[royal-viridian]

her voice was as silky as silken tofu. but her words were as firm as extra firm tofu

[royal-viridian]

the aquarium cafe had a thing they called "garden eel dog"

[royal-viridian]

"You're losing blood" no I know exactly where it is. The floor. Don't ever underestimate me.

[royal-viridian]

had a dream that someone was showing me this camera that could render anything it photographed "flawless." So like it could remove blemishes from people's faces, but also if you took a picture of a cracked glass there would be no crack in the resulting image.

Obviously this is kind of existentially horrifying but that's not the point of this post.

The point is that when dream me got the camera I immediately turned the lens onto my cat to see what she would look like "perfect." And she looked exactly the same.

[royal-viridian]