royal-dread

[royal-dread]

Why I, a former age regressor, do not support age regression as it is shown in media

On social media there’s this video that’s going around of an age regressor that I’ve had many issues with. If you go in the comments of these posts you’ll have three types of people: the ones who make fun of it, the ones who try to defend it, and the ones that tell the ones who defend it how harmful these actions are.

In all of these posts, you know what I find? People who say “it’s a trauma response” “most people don’t have control over it” and yet also say “it’s a coping mechanism and dressing up is soothing” despite that being a completely different thing, and will go on about how “doctors recommend it” despite that making no sense

Let me clear one thing up: dressing up in baby clothing, coloring in coloring books, drinking out of sippy cups are all dress up games.

ACTUAL age regression is your body doing childlike things or sending yourself into a child like state to better handle your trauma

Let’s take me for example. I naturally did it from actual trauma. When I was about 6 mo, my mom stopped me from sucking on my fingers. But I was raised in a very abusive household and you know what I did? As I turned 2yo I started sucking on my fingers again and every night I slept with my baby blanket(the blanket that came with my crib). I would suck on my fingers originally at night, but then it got worse to the point where I was constantly doing it.

I didn’t stop doing this until I was 17 (last summer). I would wear long sleeves and hide my hand in it while I did it at school because I was constantly stressed out. You know how when you take away a baby’s binky, It’ll start crying and getting fussy or even throw a tantrum? That’s what I did. If we were doing a lot of activities that required your hands I would get overwhelmed and start to cry because I couldn’t calm down and the emotions over flooded my brain. You couldn’t hold a conversation with me because when this happened I would snap at others and say hateful things.

And not only this, but when this happened my mind would “shut down” as we said, and I couldn’t think. I couldn’t form any coherent thoughts because all I could think of was how I was feeling. There was no reasoning with me, all I could think of was me wanting to soothe myself, I couldn’t do my work, I couldn’t have long conversations with people, etc. I couldn’t tell people when there was something wrong, I would just sit there and cry because that’s all I could handle.

Now note: there was no dress up. There was no “coloring” or drinking out of sippy cups. These were habits that I had when I was young that I started again because my brain couldn’t handle the trauma.

Now, I recently went through tf-cbt (trauma focused- cognitive behavioral therapy) where I was told these were horrible habits to do and I should steer far away from them. My counselor told me that it was a clear sign of child abuse/child trauma and I had PTSD, and helped me get the diagnosis for places like school and work. She told me that age regression is a defense mechanism that your body takes so that you can handle what’s going on around you. Your body and mind regresses to points where you were at your calmest and use those habits/actions to give you a better control on yourself, but they make you unstable when you can’t do these actions and you end up doing way more harm to yourself than good.

Not only this but my habit deformed my mouth severely. I finally got approved for braces and when they did the X-rays and measured everything they told me I had about an INCH of space between by bottom and top row of teeth. I couldn’t eat in public because I had to bite with the side of my mouth. I couldn’t form words properly and constantly fumbled. It was embarrassing how awful they were and I ended up having the teeth behind my canines pulled because there wasn’t enough room to pull everything back. 2.5 years later and I’m STILL in braces because of how hard it is to fix this. And my middle and index finger are deformed too, they’re bent at awkward angles and I can’t hold them straight because of the 15 years of constantly being pushed that way.

Age regression is now a TRIGGER for me because it gets my blood pumping and makes me feel sick and I get so unreasonably angry at these people for not even knowing what they’re talking about. My head gets light and I can feel all the blood rush from it and I feel like I’m gonna fall over if I stand because of how many times I’ve tried to explain to people my situation and they’ve told me “fuck off if you don’t actually age regress or are a little youre an ableist fuck and there’s a special place in hell for people like you” when I’m the one who has an actual PTSD diagnosis and has gone through the whole speal of getting help.

Age regression is not okay. It’s not heathy. Your mind can’t properly handle the things that are going on around you and it shuts down and brings you back into a state of mind that your body knows it can handle. It’s unhealthy because you never actually face what’s going on and the issues only build and build until you burst because everything has been suppressed, not coped with. These habits can destroy your life and you can lose all your relationships (like with me) due to it.

If you “age regress” because it’s FUN you’re just playing dress up and are MOCKING people with an actual issue. Go fuck yourself if you really think that, because that’s like me saying “oh I pretend to have war flash backs because I think being a soldier is cool”

So for those of you who support this and say doctors recommend it: you’re lying. You’re literally lying right to our faces and are trying to justify you having playtime and not wanting to grow up when there’s actual people who do this because of trauma and get suppressed because they’re “not real agere. I HATE the term “little” because it’s making a FOOL of me, I’m not a “little”, I didn’t age regress because I had a choice, it was my body’s way of coping and it was HORRIBLE, and the way that media has made it into “oh yes look at this decorative binky I got and this new children’s coloring book” sickens me.

So yeah, I have a DNI. And that DNI says “age regressors” because I’m sick and tired of being grouped in a category of people who are using the term wrong and take away from people who do this because of actual issues in their life

[royal-dread]

Why I, a former age regressor, do not support age regression as it is shown in media

On social media there’s this video that’s going around of an age regressor that I’ve had many issues with. If you go in the comments of these posts you’ll have three types of people: the ones who make fun of it, the ones who try to defend it, and the ones that tell the ones who defend it how harmful these actions are.

In all of these posts, you know what I find? People who say “it’s a trauma response” “most people don’t have control over it” and yet also say “it’s a coping mechanism and dressing up is soothing” despite that being a completely different thing, and will go on about how “doctors recommend it” despite that making no sense

Let me clear one thing up: dressing up in baby clothing, coloring in coloring books, drinking out of sippy cups are all dress up games.

ACTUAL age regression is your body doing childlike things or sending yourself into a child like state to better handle your trauma

Let’s take me for example. I naturally did it from actual trauma. When I was about 6 mo, my mom stopped me from sucking on my fingers. But I was raised in a very abusive household and you know what I did? As I turned 2yo I started sucking on my fingers again and every night I slept with my baby blanket(the blanket that came with my crib). I would suck on my fingers originally at night, but then it got worse to the point where I was constantly doing it.

I didn’t stop doing this until I was 17 (last summer). I would wear long sleeves and hide my hand in it while I did it at school because I was constantly stressed out. You know how when you take away a baby’s binky, It’ll start crying and getting fussy or even throw a tantrum? That’s what I did. If we were doing a lot of activities that required your hands I would get overwhelmed and start to cry because I couldn’t calm down and the emotions over flooded my brain. You couldn’t hold a conversation with me because when this happened I would snap at others and say hateful things.

And not only this, but when this happened my mind would “shut down” as we said, and I couldn’t think. I couldn’t form any coherent thoughts because all I could think of was how I was feeling. There was no reasoning with me, all I could think of was me wanting to soothe myself, I couldn’t do my work, I couldn’t have long conversations with people, etc. I couldn’t tell people when there was something wrong, I would just sit there and cry because that’s all I could handle.

Now note: there was no dress up. There was no “coloring” or drinking out of sippy cups. These were habits that I had when I was young that I started again because my brain couldn’t handle the trauma.

Now, I recently went through tf-cbt (trauma focused- cognitive behavioral therapy) where I was told these were horrible habits to do and I should steer far away from them. My counselor told me that it was a clear sign of child abuse/child trauma and I had PTSD, and helped me get the diagnosis for places like school and work. She told me that age regression is a defense mechanism that your body takes so that you can handle what’s going on around you. Your body and mind regresses to points where you were at your calmest and use those habits/actions to give you a better control on yourself, but they make you unstable when you can’t do these actions and you end up doing way more harm to yourself than good.

Not only this but my habit deformed my mouth severely. I finally got approved for braces and when they did the X-rays and measured everything they told me I had about an INCH of space between by bottom and top row of teeth. I couldn’t eat in public because I had to bite with the side of my mouth. I couldn’t form words properly and constantly fumbled. It was embarrassing how awful they were and I ended up having the teeth behind my canines pulled because there wasn’t enough room to pull everything back. 2.5 years later and I’m STILL in braces because of how hard it is to fix this. And my middle and index finger are deformed too, they’re bent at awkward angles and I can’t hold them straight because of the 15 years of constantly being pushed that way.

Age regression is now a TRIGGER for me because it gets my blood pumping and makes me feel sick and I get so unreasonably angry at these people for not even knowing what they’re talking about. My head gets light and I can feel all the blood rush from it and I feel like I’m gonna fall over if I stand because of how many times I’ve tried to explain to people my situation and they’ve told me “fuck off if you don’t actually age regress or are a little youre an ableist fuck and there’s a special place in hell for people like you” when I’m the one who has an actual PTSD diagnosis and has gone through the whole speal of getting help.

Age regression is not okay. It’s not heathy. Your mind can’t properly handle the things that are going on around you and it shuts down and brings you back into a state of mind that your body knows it can handle. It’s unhealthy because you never actually face what’s going on and the issues only build and build until you burst because everything has been suppressed, not coped with. These habits can destroy your life and you can lose all your relationships (like with me) due to it.

If you “age regress” because it’s FUN you’re just playing dress up and are MOCKING people with an actual issue. Go fuck yourself if you really think that, because that’s like me saying “oh I pretend to have war flash backs because I think being a soldier is cool”

So for those of you who support this and say doctors recommend it: you’re lying. You’re literally lying right to our faces and are trying to justify you having playtime and not wanting to grow up when there’s actual people who do this because of trauma and get suppressed because they’re “not real agere. I HATE the term “little” because it’s making a FOOL of me, I’m not a “little”, I didn’t age regress because I had a choice, it was my body’s way of coping and it was HORRIBLE, and the way that media has made it into “oh yes look at this decorative binky I got and this new children’s coloring book” sickens me.

So yeah, I have a DNI. And that DNI says “age regressors” because I’m sick and tired of being grouped in a category of people who are using the term wrong and take away from people who do this because of actual issues in their life

[royal-dread]

MTF TIP

If you can, try to wear eyeliner just under your eyes. There are a lot of fashion trends going around of more “feminine” guys breaking the social norms that are cishet, so if you use that as a defense you should be able to get away with just a little bit of eyeliner

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MTF TIP

If you can get some nice panties, try wearing them under your clothes around the house instead of boxers. Panties can be hard to get use to and going out in public with them for the first try might cause you to take them off. Wear them around the house to get use to the feel of them, and it should help a lot with every day dysphoria, especially if you’re at home more often than not

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MTF TIP

Try to get band tshirts/hoodies. These are usually aimed for both genders/to be androgynous so that more people can wear them. If you get oversized sweatshirts then you can do sweater paws! Lots of cis guys get larger sized hoodies or shirts, so it could be more of a style preference. With bigger sizes, it hides your body a little and can make you feel smaller/more femme that way.

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MTF TIP

Get click clack boots!! There are men’s boots that click clack when you walk, and can stimulate the idea that you’re wearing heeled boots. Getting higher styled boots can also help, there are androgynous brands of shoes that would be good to wear

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MTF TIP

Get converse in the color you like. Converse are a well known brand of shoes that come in any color that you can think of. If you get more pastel aimed colors or even go with pink or red it can make you feel a lot better, and converse go with just about any outfit!

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MTF TIP

Wear jewelry. There are a lot of androgynous necklaces you can find at places like hot topic and Spencer’s as well as many other places. You can also make your own, if you get string or beads you can make bracelets for yourself and say they’re friendship bracelets from a school friend

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MTF TIP

Take on more “femme” hobbies like sewing, knitting, crocheting, and knotting. You can create a lot of cool stuff with some cheap supplies at Walmart. One hobby I do recommend taking on is bracelet making with string (knotting) it’s a long process but the results look amazing and you get to flaunt what you create.

There is a website called BraceletBook that has a very open community with lots of designs to choose from, as well as resources to help you in your process. Admin, who created the website himself moderates everything so it’s a safe place for everyone. There are lots of meme type bracelets you can make, like Hellmo (pattern #27708) or Pepe (#41537) that people would compliment you on :)

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MTF TIP

Pierce your ears! If you go to the mall, you can get your ears pierced at a couple different shops no questions asked. There are a lot of studs that are androgynous, and if you go to hot topic or Spencer’s they have some cool androgynous dangle earrings that look amazing on everyone. If anyone asks why you did it, just say that your friends were in on it or that you saw someone else with piercings and thought it was cool

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MTF TIP

When playing games, design your character to look like what you imagine yourself as or what you would like to look like in the future. Seeing the female character on screen and even being referred to as female can bring a sense of euphoria, or at least causes less dysphoria

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MTF TIP

Name something your dead name. This might seem really hard to do, but what it does is it requires your brain to associate the name with something else, not yourself. If you play games and you can get a partner or companion, name them your dead name. It’s going to be hard, but after awhile you’re going to be use to seeing and hearing your dead name so it’s not as hard in public, as well as you’ll probably jump to the character or companion you have rather than yourself

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MTF TIP

Go check out some doll/dress up games! There are lots of apps that you can dress up and create your own characters on, I suggest Lily Story for this. Look at the different outfits and hairstyles and create some characters that you like!! Make outfits and save your characters for future use. This’ll help give you an idea of what you like when going shopping for yourself so you know where to start

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MTF TIP

Make a Pinterest board with outfits and styles you really like. If you save these you can get a better idea of what to look for when shopping for yourself. It can be a struggle to figure out what you like and don’t like, or even setting up an outfit for yourself if you didn’t grow up around women, so taking the time to go through some different styles would really benefit you

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MTF TIP:

Get some stuffed animals! Stuffed animals are important for anyone to have, not just for girly girls. If you go to stores you can find some more masculine aimed stuffed animals for yourself. I have a Big 40” plush of Foxy from FNAF that I’ve had for years. He was in the boys section, but to this day is still my cry buddy. If not a normal plush, you can also get weighted stuffed animals. Weighted animals and blankets are soothing and can help with many issues in life such as anxiety and depression.

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MTF TIP:

Wear skinny jeans! Skinny Jeans never go out of fashion and the men’s section has a lot of styles. It outlines your body more and can make you feel more femme! Try checking out a Walmart or target near you that carries jeans and see if you can find any that you like!

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MTF TIP #6

Perfume!

If you can, go to stores by yourself or with someone you trust and look for perfume. There are a lot out there that smell more masculine, something that could fit for either gender. Take your time to find one you like, but isn’t too floral based (this gives away the fact it’s perfume, not cologne)