rowanslau

[rowanslau]

Text: Rowan

Claire: Hi. I can't tell you how sorry I am for everything.

[ Rowan Lau unblocked this number ]

Rowan: Start telling

[rowanslau]

@hidehillstart​

Her office always seemed to be overflowing with people that really didn’t have any business being there. Perhaps that was the reason for her lack of tolerance, or maybe it was the morning itself, and the fact that three people were dead. Regardless, she picked the paperweight Sasha had given her up from the desk, and chucked it at the person who had been standing in her doorway, reclaiming that asshole title in one fell swoop. “I said get out, there are no questions to answer at this time.” Spat in their direction, never being able to give away the details, or the answers people wanted.

[rowanslau]

sashakang​:

Sasha had to be honest with herself when it came to Leo. She was of course sad that he was gone. She wished that things could’ve been different. But… she felt a sense of relief now that she didn’t have to deal with him anymore. It was a bittersweet feeling for sure. She wasn’t necessarily happy he was gone, especially not in the way that he went. But the thought of never having to be on non-stop defense mode again allowed her to relax again. She could truly work on herself without the lifelong connection of sharing a child with a man she wasn’t sure if she hated or loved. “I just owed it to her… that’s all..” she stated plainly, letting out a sigh as she gave it a few more moments of thought. “I’ll just make sure she knows everything she can about him. She deserves that at least.”

“As mothers, you can only do what you think is right, and best. Which leaves room for mistakes, but that is the best thing you can do. Make sure she knows, and I’m sure you will.” Rowan was silent for a moment. “We will.” Added, because she had always been willing to stand behind, or beside her daughter in anything she needed to do, especially something as emotionally charged as this. She silently disengaged from her and moved to fill two glasses with a wine that was far better than most even bothered to serve in the bars around here, one passed off to her. “Sash, you did the best you could with what you have, and you will always be one of the greatest mothers I’ve ever none, don’t start doubting that now.” Her honesty was brutal, but always delivered a touch lighter.

[rowanslau]

clairefms​:

        the woman had started to come out of her panic as her breaths got a little deeper and her head didn’t feel so much like a pressure cooker. the other had done well calming her down as her panic had overtaken her (something that was happening more and more). her problems were far from resolved but it felt better to have someone there telling her that she was okay, that it was manageable and she would be able to come back from that atrocious night. the woman was physically fine but the experience and stress that came with it was detrimental and lead her into bad habits.

     letting herself be lead to a car, claire shook her head. “i’m not really sure. i-uh, there’s not been enough time to get anything i can’t say that i have much of an appetite as it is.” that was the honest truth. “as for sleep, yeah, i’m not sure about one.” nightmares came to mind when she was tired but with so much to do she just didn’t. “i just - i don’t feel very safe right now.” jade had always been the one to calm down and stay with her when she was upset. in this instance, claire didn’t know who she was able to turn to for that comfort she desperately needed. her mother was not someone she could speak to, not about this or anything for that matter.

There was more of a calm spreading over her now, because she wasn’t forced to worry about Claire, and whether or not she was going to be taking her home, or straight to the hospital. There was a strange sense of accomplishment there, having been able to talk her off the proverbial ledge. However, Rowan was more than aware that she needed real help, help that came in the form of a therapist, not just a shoulder to lean on.

Rowan eventually moved to open the passengers side door for the other woman, allowing her to get comfortable in the seat before she would close the door. Making her away around, she easily slipped in and started it before speaking. “You’ve got to take better care of yourself.” Something she felt like she would be repeating. “I know this is hard on you, on the whole town, but we don’t need to lose anyone else.” She reminded her, leaning over to reassure her for a moment before pulling off, speaking while she drove. “We’ll get you something to eat, see if you can get some sleep. I’ll stay for now, but should look into getting you some help.” She added, firmly, because she wasn’t going to argue on that one. The least she could do was get herself a couple Xanax.

[rowanslau]

sloanecampbcll​:

“What’s wrong with it?” Sloane glances down towards the glass before lifting her gaze up towards the woman sitting next to her at the bar, pressing her lips together. She scrunches her features as she pushes the glass away and turns the woman next to her. “Thanks for warning me.” She slips onto the stool closest to Rowan, placing her hands down on the bar. “Jameson is pretty good.” She smirks.

“You’re welcome.” She said with a small chuckle, shaking her head for a moment before lifting the glass she had been drinking from like it was a toast to Sloane herself. “Least we can do.” Rowan made a gesture between the two of them as if she needed to look out for fellow women, period. Her grin matched the other woman’s though, and she’d nod. “Thought you might agree.” Laughed; as she pushed the shot over, and then held her own up. “To an entertaining night; because this place could use some excitement.”

[rowanslau]

jackboyce​:

open : @hidehillstart​ location : hadley park

On days off of work for Jack he usually spent his time reading whatever book had his attention or working out, but today felt like a day that he needed a day off from everything. He exited his small trailer with a six pack from his fridge, ducking as he came out the front door and sat himself down in one of the lawn chair he had sitting against his little home. He was engrossed in thought as he sipped on a beer, already planning the rest of his week in his head. Pulling himself from the thoughts inside his mind, he acknowledged the person getting closer to where he was sat. “You’re welcome to the seat and a beer.” He offered, gesturing towards both the lawn chair and six-pack sitting in between.

“You have a strange idea of relaxation.” Rowan said easily as she moved to find herself a seat beside him, taking the beer with a look that said she was trying hard to give him shit about it. Truth be told, Jack was far more respected than most of the men in this town, and probably the women too. She popped the top off before she took a sip, eventually settled into the grass instead of going to get herself a chair. “Are we reading in silence today or are you actually in the mood to speak words?” Asked, because sometimes, silence really was golden.

[rowanslau]

clairefms​:

    it was too much for one person to take on but as claire had been so proactive trying to resolve everything when the place was still a crime scene, she had been her own undoing. she would push and push herself until the upset was too much and only then would she pull the breaks. an isolated individual, she didn’t have anyone to flag her behaviour as dangerous until it was too late and she had landed in an emergency room already. that had already happened, collapsing whilst in a waiting room but it couldn’t be considered the same. it felt like a rock bottom at the time as she had felt ill but it wasn’t a memorable rock bottom, not enough to get her to wake up and seek the help she needed.

     it was awful and something she not only felt responsible for but something she couldn’t fix. “right.” the woman nodded as she brought herself out of the uncontrollable crying through breathing. “okay.” claire was tired, dehydrated and running on all the wrong things at this point. it was all well and good having the concept of self-care, but executing was going to be that much more difficult. “thank you.” she lightly squeezed the other woman’s hand before starting to stand up.

All of this was entirely out of character for the medical examiner. There was no reason that she would usually have allowed herself to be in a position with a woman who was a stranger. However, she didn’t need to guilt of Claire being pushed over the edge on her shoulders, and she felt a strange pull toward the woman. Maybe she was the one who was supposed to help hold her together, and while no one had ever afforded her that kind of courtesy, she wanted it for Claire. She wanted better, for Claire. “Good.” Mumbled when she finally spoke, getting up first.

Rowan did that to make sure she was already standing by the time Claire had made an attempt to do the same. Hands were held out to make sure she was afforded every chance to catch her, if need be. A small smile was there, mostly because she knew that if she left her face to it’s own devices, resting bitch face was always the expression it had opted for. Once the other woman was standing, Rowan opted to slip an arm around her shoulders, enabling her to lead her toward the car. “You’re welcome, when’s the last time you actually ate something, or slept more than two hours?” Asked, ready to take a mental toll of the things they would need to check off before she could be left alone again.

[rowanslau]

sashakang​:

Leo wasn’t the man she’s made him in her own mind. Underneath the shield he’d held up, there was a soft man with feelings and she was just beginning to discover that. Had he loved her? Not to her knowledge, but he definitely said it to her in moments she wasn’t within earshot. She would never claim to know whether or not he loved her for sure, whereas in the past she would say for sure that he didn’t have any love for her. Letting herself lean into the hug naturally, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she attempted to process everything that had been happening in her life. Why Leo? Why couldn’t Ronnie just leave him alone and let him be the father he may have wanted to be? “They didn’t deserve me keeping the truth from them either..” she stated bluntly, looking up at Rowan with a shake of her head. “I’m never going to be able to make this up to her… and obviously not to him either.”

“Don’t do that.” She said as they finally separated from one another, Rowan opting to stay close. “You made the decision that you thought was best for your child, and you always put her above anything else, that’s parenting”. They both had learned the hard way, the way that didn’t seem to be traditional, but god it was efficient. “There is nothing to make up, Sasha. We do the best with what we’ve got, and she’s got a village, which is what she deserves. If anything, I know that you have raised, and will raise, a little girl who will understand that not everything is black and white, and not everything is that simple, either.”

[rowanslau]

@jaelees​​

The benefit of a masquerade was the lack of familiar faces, which was exactly why she wasn’t exactly worried about who she was speaking to, specifically. However, that was a part of what made this fun. The conversation turned just enough to rouse a genuine laugh from her, wine glass lifted to take a sip before nodding. “No, you’re right. But, did you really expect there to ever be a party here without any drama?” Asked honestly, a smirk curling at the edge of red painted lips.

[rowanslau]

@sloanecampbcll​

“I wouldn’t drink that if I were you.” The warning was from her comfortable perch at the side of the bar, leaned against the wall like she was the one meant to be holding it up. “I’m not one to judge but they definitely put a few extra ingredients in it, and not the fun ones.” Nose scrunched up even under the mask, before stepping up the the bar. “Give me two shots of Jameson, please.” Said to the bartender before turning back to Sloane, eyebrows raised. “Join me instead? Trust me, this will burn but it’ll be better.”

[rowanslau]

@thelukasnavarro​

Rowan knew the words that were right there on the tip of her tongue might seem just a little bit suggestive, but it was for her own amusement. “Do you remember the last time we were at one of these things?” Asked with a grin, laugh trailing behind it before a nod was made to the bar. “Have a drink with me but don’t take that the wrong way.” A face made, waving a hand in front of her as if to say that, that wouldn’t be a repeated mistake.

[rowanslau]

@thenataliamarsielle​

Rowan knew exactly why she had attended this event, and it was not out of the kindness of her heart, or because she even really wanted to. But, she definitely was going to enjoy the moment while she was out, which explains how she came to lean against the bar next to Natalia. “What are you drinking?” Always an interesting question, it told a lot about someone’s intention for the night. Dark eyes drifted over her, and then to the bartender as she waited for a response.

[rowanslau]

sashakang​:

OPERATION: MANSION PARTY

w/ @rowanslau​

“Ma, have you seen Tempest? Your child has been acting absolutely unruly.” the younger of the two twins rolled her eyes as she looked off to the side in search of her twin. The two of them had always been incredibly different. Whereas Sasha wanted to be the perfect child for their parents while Tempest was more of a free spirit. Thankfully though as time went on, Sasha switched from being genuinely judgmental to making light jokes at their differences.. this was one of those times. 

Rowan chuckled at her daughter, and the fact that she was predictable in a way that her adoptive mother had learned to appreciate, and admire. A laugh slipped from between her lips easily. “Your sister.” She pretended to correct before lifting the glass in her hand to take a sip. “Last time I saw them, they were going to take shots with some vaguely familiar looking ball player.” A laugh, and a bare shouldered shrug, following that one. “You know you don’t have to look after them all the time, enjoy yourself while you can, Sasha.”

[rowanslau]

clairefms​:

      MANSION PARTYYYY

    this had to be a sick joke after everything that had happened, people were throwing what they called a ‘mansion party’. claire was still struggling to deal with the aftermath of it all and these people had the audacity to throw a party. much like the previous event, the woman was not in correct party attire but she didn’t care. entering, she shook her head. “are you all serious right now?” her voice was raised but it wasn’t loud enough to carry over the music. she turned to judge the person next to her. “are you fucking proud of yourself?” it was a total projection. claire could have easily let those have their fun without her, while she rested and attempted to deal with the mindset the tragedies had put her in. however, that self-destruct button now wanted an audience for it. people had thought she was heartless for worrying about her business but would show up at an event like this when it was fresh? she couldn’t wrap her head around it.

@hidehillstart​

She could hear Claire yelling from where she had been propped against the wall, stopping mid-sentence to excuse herself. There was little hesitation in the way she’d sat her drink down, abandoned, and walked right out to take a demanding hold on the woman’s arm. “That’s enough.” A stern tone dared Claire to say one more thing, dark eyes settled on her. “This is not the time, place, or cause you think it is. You need to check yourself and start walking in the other direction, right fucking now.” Emphasis made, as she didn’t hesitate to pull the other woman with her. “You might want to destroy what reputation you have left, but I’m not going to sit back and watch you do it.”

[rowanslau]

sashakang​:

ROWAN’S HOME 

w/ @rowanslau​

Rowan was someone Sasha could always turn to when she wasn’t sure how to place her emotions. They were all over the place now and sometimes, that maternal figure would have all of the advice she had been craving for while trying to deal with it all on her own. “Hey ma..” she said as she walked into the kitchen, puffing our her cheeks to release a breath of frustration. “I told Michaela about her father… of course she was upset.. but now she just wants to learn as much as she can about him..” with that, she played with the yin-yang ring on her finger absently, twisting it as she tried to keep herself from curling over in tears. “He didn’t deserve that at all… not at all..”

Rowan had learned so much about Sasha the hard way, but it was easy to see pieces of herself in her daughter. A lot of people didn’t understand that loss and anger walked hand in hand when it came to their lives, but she did. So, she’d learned that the woman that she had helped raise, needed to do things on her own time, which included this. Rowan had checked in, but waited for Sasha to be ready to have the conversation she’d just started. Stepping forward casually, she skipped a few steps in the process and instead drew Sasha in for the hug that she knew she needed. An embrace that gave her every ounce of love in Rowan’s world, that reminded her, at the end of the day, she would always have this, and that she was safe, here. “No one deserved any of this, not him, you, or Michaela.” Something that was a given, but needed to be said out loud, she needed to remind Sasha that while she would always admire the way that woman had learned to dedicate herself to her friends, she needed to remember to make room for herself. To make room, for her hurt, her loss, and her feelings.

[rowanslau]

desfms​:

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐆 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒 Des the chance to breathe, even if it’s only for a moment. It’s the relief she didn’t realize she needed, silencing both her and her mind – making the world grow quiet. Out comes the deep exhale, loosening her shoulders as she wraps her arms around the other in relief. “Thank you, Rowan..” The woman smiles gently. Not everyone gets to have that kind of love. It’s a reality she’s reminded herself a lot since being within the confines of the hospital as a family member instead of a doctor. There are times when she wonders that she could have been better for her, could have been different, maybe not worked so goddamn much. Even so, Amelia had never shown her anything but the most beautiful love that the world had to offer. And that? It was rare. Somehow, Amelia thought she was the one who was deserving of it. “I-I’m pretty damn lucky.. she just.. she pushed Ronnie. She didn’t have to do that. But she did… because he was going to hurt me..” At the reminder of her rest, her well-being, the woman tries to stutter out some kind of argument before she remembers two things. One, that she is most certainly correct and two, she knows better to fight with the other. “I-I..” The woman tries to begin before pausing, trying to find it in her to remember how words worked. “Alright.. but for tonight. I just.. feel better when I can see her..” See that she’s breathing. “Just to know she’s okay and all that..”

Oh, Des. The woman had somehow moved from someone that Rowan could barely stand, someone who rubbed every part of her the wrong way, to this. She cherished her, respected her, and the most important part right now, was that she felt for her. Loss was sometimes unbearable, and the what ifs were just as bad. The wondering, the way your mind could become your worst enemy. A small smile was there, attempting to both reassure her friend, but also keep her own memories at bay. “She is okay and so are you, Des. You two made it through something extremely traumatic and sometimes, you have to make room to deal with that.” Another gentle reminder as hand patted her shoulder, stepping back from the other woman. “In that respect, she might have more fight in her than I do.” Rowan admitted with a laugh at her own expense. “But, I understand, don’t make me have to take care of you both.” She threatened, letting a smirk find her features, because it was easier than drowning in all the sadness that surrounded all of them.

[rowanslau]

clairefms​:

    if someone asked claire to recount all of the ideas that were rushing through her mind at that moment, she wouldn’t be able to. she was scared, stressed out, felt like she wasn’t acting like people wanted her to and it had caused her to break down. her business was ruined and now her ‘reputation’ was as well. with little friends and a mother she’d rather not call, the woman felt like she was on an island but she was also surrounded and there was no escape. “i’m sorry.” the club owner had already felt responsible as jade’s murder had still happened and she didn’t even like halloween herself. “i don’t even like halloween.” the more than obvious admission through tears was childlike just as it was deflective but any other sentence was unable to compute. 

       it felt like this  just gave people to vocally say they didn’t like her to her face. claire knew that people had whispered about her detached nature even though she gave jade the best she could, some would question why she was even humouring claire in the relationship when she could do better - it wasn’t pleasant but that history made the supposed assumption that she didn’t care about what had transpired hurt more. “i don’t want this.” grabbing the side of the examiner’s arm, claire lowered herself onto the pavement, so she couldn’t physically fall anywhere. she could cope with a little stress on top of her freshly sensitive mindset but she couldn’t deal with this. the woman could have gone off on another tangent but she did take a breath, then another, the next interrupted by an uncontrollable sob but then another breath. in the moment, she took the other’s hand, something that would make her feel more stable.

“No.” A refusal of that apology, clearly not taking something that she wasn’t owed. Not for this, at least. There was a softer insistence to save the apologies, a bad habit most women developed in highschool, before chuckling at the suggestion that the other woman didn’t even like halloween. It was actually one of her favorite holidays. It was, however, ruined by this whole thing, never the same again. Rowan realized that Claire was also a part of that ruin, the woman herself had been stained with things that could not be forgotten or removed. That realization was tucked away though, and instead she focused on what was right in front of her.

Rowan joined her on the ground, allowing her body to take up space with Claire, giving her hand, as well as her arm, wrapping that around her shoulders. She wasn’t entirely foreign to the concept of comfort, even if the woman didn’t find herself particularly good at providing it. “No one wanted this, but give yourself time.” There needed to be distance between whatever Claire would make of this place, and what happened here. “Let me take you home, use the time we’re here to take care of yourself. You deserve that much, too.”