rosespecting

[rosespecting]

ANARCHISTIC CLASSPECTING #4 - DOOM TRANSCRIPT

episode here: x

after a short break I return with what amounts to a love letter to an aspect I've treated poorly over the years

much like video game history and invader zim, Doom is important to classpecting, and Iam going to talk about it because I have a complicated history with doom and I have done a lot of harm to the idea of what doom is. perhaps not as much as hope or rage, but my descriptions of doom before recently have all been ones soaked in antagonism because I have not had a very strong relationship with doom.

doom, despite being the first aspect I identified myself to be, to live under, is fairly opposed to how I view things and that has only gotten more so with time. but, my relationship has gotten much healthy, and I would like to talk about that.

I have known a fair few self-identified doom players, but I have not really been able to vibe with them to the extent that I have many other people from many other aspects. I have at present three people in my life who I consider to be at least fairly close, who are doom players. only one of them is one that I really really understand, that I really vibe with. and that person is a seer. and that says a lot, I feel.

I have long since viewed doom as kind of a gross villainous force in my life, and that has come to change in meeting this seer of mine, and even a little bit before then, but that was the time when I really was able to grasp what good can come from doom, and I am very thankful to them.

now, I'd like to discuss doom as I have come to find love in it, because I do love some aspects of doom quite a bit. I genuinely at this point have found ways to truly love it and that is wonderful. I have found ways to love every aspect, and that is wonderful, and I would hope for you that you can reach that point someday if you haven't already, because no aspect is all bad. and even if you have negative experiences or an inherent disdain, disagreeance with parts of an aspect, there will always be parts that can be helpful for you, and can be good to you.

doom is funny because for an aspect so clearly and integrally based in rules and laws, my relationship with it didn't get better until I stopped thinking of aspects in those terms. in freeing doom from the rigidity I had placed it in, I was able to understand that it was never like that in whole. of course part of it is, it would be stupid to deny that a fundamental part of doom is the thing that doom is. it would be like if I were to say that "oh well I just don't really get along with hope players, but I have managed to find a way to view hope as lovely by ignoring the fact that it's, you know, faithful." that would be dumb.

instead you need to find that love in the parts of that faithfulness or those rules and laws that works for you. because parts of any aspect will not work for you. even light, I have... never fully accepted Light. well, okay, that's a bad way to word it, I have never fully embraced light, I'll say, because before I was looking at it in a very lighty way, ironically, where I carved into it and made it this perfect ideal that sucked, and I don't like those parts of it anymore. I have a very different perspective on light from what I used to, and I don't idealize a lot of the parts that I used to find to be all that light was.

and doom is not light. there are more similarities than I used to give credit, because there are similarities between all aspects and that's part of how it works, things bleeds into each other, it's beautiful. I talk about aspects as if they're this beautiful painting all the time because I just really love them. I have a lot of passion for classpecting if you haven't been able to tell.

now, in my ability to respect doom I have faced a reality that was difficult for me to grasp, which is how does doom fit into my view of leftism? how does doom work in a world that is so wounded by the current laws, by the current rules and systems of society? how can I care for this thing which has been weaponized against so many people for so long? and the answer is that... those rules are stupid, and you don't need to love all of doom. you don't need to love every application of doom.

doom and laws and rules and structure is not inherently against anarchism. even if it seems like it should be, because ultimately anarchism is not about having no rules, no laws, it's about having no rules or laws determined by a higher power that we've assigned or that has been chosen by the gods or whatever. it's about community law. it's about the law of people. it's a very person-driven thing, and people have rules for themselves, even if they don't think of it in those terms, people think and do things in habits. which can fall into time more directly but is definitely a part of doom. habits and rituals and traditions- I cut out like 20 seconds of me not remembering that word, so uh, you know

but traditions are very much so in the time/doom/hope triangle, and I'm trying to avoid talking about triangle theory too much until I end up making an episode about that specifically, but I'm going to briefly mention it here, because triangles are an easy way for me to talk about things, to talk about this intersecting of aspects, to talk about how things are connected, because fundamentally hope time and doom in our current society are linked because that is how things are built now, and mind blood and light are inherently linked in society, but I don't think they inherently have to be more than any other aspect.

I don't think there's anything innately tying heart to breath and void, or light to blood and mind, because that's just how we as a culture have bound these aspects. and categories are dumb, you know? that's something that I've made pretty clear here, I think categories are stupid, but I also love them. I love categories, and I love habits and I love repetition. I love repetition. I love repetition. I love repetition I love repetition, I love repetition. because it's fun for me, for my brain. I love repetition. because it's fun for my brain.

and that is not just time, but also doom and also kind of hope, that's just "I like this thing, so let's do it more, let's have faith in this thing to make me feel good, to be good." because doom is about things being good, kind of. it's about the idea that if it's not broke, you shouldn't fix it. and so many systems are broken, and so the idea that doom is about not fixing what's [not] broken is hard to grasp when so many people who wield doom in the current society don't see the things that are very clearly broken as broken. it's frustrating, and that really poisoned my relationship with doom for a long time.

things can always get better. and even when things don't get better, there is value in change, but there is also value in what you hold for yourself. this is veering into space and time territory, but again that's just how things goes.

doom is an aspect at it's best, in my eyes, because I understand that I am opinionated on this to a great degree, that I have this ideal in my mind of what is the good doom. to me, doom is at it's best when it is for the ones you love. when it is keeping you safe and content in a world that is scary.

doom is, in this way, tied to blood. this community has to be founded on something. you have to care enough to take care of one another. and that's not to say that you have to take care of people, you should not give yourself to people who are not willing to give themselves back. I understand that very well, because I've been on both ends many times. relationships are a hard topic for me, but what I have learned in my time, my looooong 23 years, is that what makes a relationship work, what makes love work, is when you have someone willing to respect you, and willing to respect what you need, and when you are willing to do the same for them. when you are able to establish boundaries.

i have fallen in love with boundaries, I have had a long history of not understanding the value of boundaries, of feeling that they closed me off from people, but they don't, they allow me and my relationships to flourish. to be as good as they can be by staying healthy for both of us. this is getting very preachy, but bear with me.

doom and restrictions are only necessary, in my eyes, when they allow for things to be better. and that can be a lot more often than I once thought. there is a lot of power in a good healthy limit. and I've- I struggle even talking about it in limits and restrictions, because it's not, it's a freedom to be able to know that you can act without causing harm because you know what to avoid. you know how to be good to those you love because you've communicated it, you've made it clear what you value, what you need, and you both respect it, and you grow in a loving, beautiful lifey way outside of that. but that can't happen in a healthy way without boundaries. without doom.

life cannot exist without doom, as with any aspect pair, and frankly, I am tired of rampant life. because that has been my life for a long time. this kind of just turned into me gushing about my newfound love for doom, but... maybe that's all it has to be.

I hope you have a wonderful day.

[rosespecting]

ANARCHISTIC CLASSPECTING #3 - CLASSES PART 2 TRANSCRIPT

episode here: x

a shorter episode this time. ye

hello, so last time we talked about, I talked about, classes as as abstract as aspects are. and avoiding this tendency that I have to look at classes as this rigid thing even when I have liberated aspects to an extent

now, I think that something that I was missing in the last part that I would like to bring up is gender. now, I think that viewing classes like gender is probably not the hottest take? but I've never seen it. because gender didn't really pop off as a thing that people think about until a good bit after classpecting kind of died down. so I think it is worth looking at it through this lens that has not really been taken into consideration.

now, I don't think that classes are exactly comparable to gender because that would be stupid. but I do think that there is a lot of similarity there that has not been talked about much, because classes and gender are both kind of how you go about and present a sort of hard to define thing that exists in everyone's lives and is kind of made up. and of course very real, because that's a very common thread in this series so far. that things are very fake and very real at the same time, because that's how life is. not the aspect but, I mean the aspect itself is also like that, but you know what I mean

now, I, for transparency, am genderfluid. I at this point don't really think of it in those terms as much anymore, but a year ago I sort of unlocked this realization that I have boy in me. which was fun. and alongside that I discovered that I am quite a fan of boys sometimes, and that is also very fun

but that is not the whole picture, I am very much so all over the place, it's just that at the moment I've- bird? it's just that at the moment I am less these defined things that I swap between them and instead just a coagulation of them. I need- this fucking bird. you know what, no. you know what? birds, and classpecting, they're good friends. you get to have this lovely bird in the background and you're gonna love it, because it's lovely.

so my gender is very much so kind of a joke. I have a whole clown thing going on, as you can see from this- the image that I got for this thing and that is everywhere, thank you again to... i don't know how to pronounce it. kiincubus? kiincubus? it's something like that. it's in the description. and of course if you're reading the transcription of this, then cope. I'm sorry.

but so my gender is sort of a bit of a facade. and very complicated, I am still figuring it out to some extent. but it's mostly settled at this point to this kind of mmlhlehhh. this mhmlhehh sometimes shifts around a bit, I have times when I'm feeling more boy which has been the past little bit, and there will be times when I'm recording this when I'll sound a little closer like this and I'm kind of getting more like femme vibes. and i'll just be- I don't know if this is what I sound like. I just kind of change a lot. my voice changes a lot

my class does not change a lot, anymore. I've been settled on seer for a long time. but not even that long? three or four years. shortly before I made my guide. and I went through six or seven different classpects that I have throughout all the years. initially, based entirely on I just thought they sounded cool. my first claim was Knight of Doom which is comically false. but you know, I mean I'm sure that that is in me somewhere, to some extent, because that's how things are. classes much like aspects are kind of a whole thing, they're a mlhlehhhh.

and though I am a seer, and I have my tendencies, I have done things that a witch would do, I have done things that a thief would do, I have done things that a page would do. and that's normal. that's just normal. and with gender, right, this is dying down to an extent but it's still definitely in the minds of a lot of people. this idea that there are things that women do, and things that men do, and unfortunately a lot of those people have this idea that there are things that nonbinary people do, because in a lot of circles it's sort of seen as "now there's three genders, there's men, women, and... nonbinary as a whole." which doesn't really work

but there are these ideas. if you are trans, then you are, from a societal standpoint, expected to have blue hair and pronouns. and that's simply not always the case. the pronouns are, but you know. the idea behind it, of what people really mean by pronouns in that context, is not always the case. and I'm quite fond of taking an anarchistic view of gender. and especially to pronouns. I am very fond of when I'm in certain femme moods I like to still use he/him? that feels very fun and good. but I don't want that always. sometimes I wanna be something else, and that's fine.

and with classes there's not pronouns. pronouns don't exist. I guess you could say that the aspects are pronouns? but it doesn't need to be a one to one. but classes have these roles, these ideas that are expected of them, and you can fit into those, but I also think that it's quite possible to not fit into them.

I think that it is very possible for a seer who doesn't speak for hours on end about bullshit. I think it's very possible to have a thief that doesn't exactly steal. I think it is very possible to have a page that... uh. is. idk, figured shit out? pretty quickly? I don't know, pages- that's a whole other fucking thing. I might have a single page episode at some point.

but I think that the idea of "here is how someone with this class will progress through life," I don't think that works. and even the things which cause them to be how they are aren't guarantees. I've got fairly vague guidelines for how it probably worked out, where witches are often in my experience constructed out of a desire to push back against limiters in their life. this idea that they are forced into acting with their aspect in some way that doesn't appeal to them.

but that doesn't have to be the case. someone could simply be curious in a way that lends themselves to doing the witchy thing. and I think I've caused some confusion with this, I initially, long ago at this point, had shortly after my guide dropped, I decided to make a deep dive into every class. and... and I had manifestations of like how it would look with these aspects, and that was dreadful.

parts of it were good, and I greatly appreciate the people who worked on that with me, because they really had some of the best parts in it, and I don't think I necessarily needed to delete them, but I just felt like the damage that was being done- it just wasn't worth keeping around. and I still sort of agree with that, I think having this thing that, even when later I added a disclaimer of like "oh these are just possible manifestations, these are just examples."

I don't think it did anyone any good. because if someone relates to an example in a class or aspect that doesn't actually work for them then I have done a disservice if they go "oh well that example fits me best, so I must be this." because it doesn't work that way, things are complicated, things are VERY complicated, and where a person comes from matters a lot. but it doesn't determine everything.

I'm not huge on the idea of um. I guess I lean more towards the nurture side than nature in terms of what determines what a person is, but there are inherent things about people that they inherit from birth. that is objective. certain conditions are more likely. certain- just, you know? and things about people, your brain is wired in certain ways when you are being formed and then you get rewired through life experiences but there is a baseline and everyone's baseline is different. so acting like they aren't, like people can just match completely and they need THESE life experiences to reach THESE ways of being, it doesn't work. it is not realistic.

and I don't want to support that idea anymore, that that's how it works, because it isn't how it works, and I'm going on a bit of a tangent

so a maid may not have the exact linings that I defined in my guide. and that's okay. that is very okay, they don't need to. no one needs to be anything specific to be a certain classpect. as I've said before, it's very much so defined by your own perception and I don't want to limit people. I limited myself for a long time, I adhered very strictly to what a seer of light was in my mind, and I had to have that perception changed to a certain degree before I could realize that I didn't need to base myself entirely on that perception in the first place.

I had to break free just enough that I could realize that there was no reason for me to be stuck to this idea anyways. I can be a seer of light and not match the idea I have in my mind of the perfect seer of light. because ultimately I am not a seer of light, I am a person.

and honestly that might be all I have to say with this, and the birds are getting louder. the birds are coming for me, oh god, I hear them now, I mean I don't but I did a moment ago. I believe that the birds are coming to get me and- oh god, oh god. oh no it's fine. I suppose I'll see you next time on the next episode of this thing. there's no birds coming to kill me, I'm fine. yeah. take care of yourself.

...

uh, psyche, haha got you. I totally planned this. so uh a part of the gender discussion that I wanted to have- the birds did come for me btw I have died. I am recording this a little later, like five minutes, and the birds have killed me. but I remembered something else that I wanted to add that I should've remembered.

gender serves an interesting factor in classpecting because for a long time, and in many corners still now, the classes were seen as restricted by gender. because that was suggested in canon. and for a very long time those restrictions were seen primarily as a prince and maid are guy and girl respectively, and um. knight and.. no that's not true. I don't remember because it was kind of stupid. I personally think that it's kind of stupid, but I also don't wanna- oh my god the birds

I think a bird actually just bumped into my window that was weird, I'll remove that

but I think that it's kind of stupid but I don't want to make fun of people who are into that because all of this is kind of stupid, you know? but I think it's interesting seeing this gendered thing applied to um. to classes, cause they, the connection's been there? idk I didn't really have much more to say I just wanted to point out that there was precedent for my perspective that there's already this idea connecting gender and the classes, um. okay. so I said uh take care or something. but uh. but I hope you have a terrible day, um. yeah.

[rosespecting]

ANARCHISTIC CLASSPECTING #2 - CLASSES PART 1 TRANSCRIPT

episode here: x

just like last time, this won't be very well formatted but here's a transcript of my rambling in episode 2 of my neeewwww podcaaaast

I've pissed, sun-kissed, and I'm ready for this. Now, an important part of any podcast is establishing what exactly your podcast is gonna be, and I, uh, normally would expect that to be in episode one but I am a special little boy and I decided to do it in episode two because I recorded episode one before I even knew what the fuck I wanted to do with it, it was originally gonna be one 5-hour thing and that's stupid. that's just dumb. and originally it was actually gonna be like different from that too, also, who the fuck cares?

what the podcast is is me, your special fun boy, talking about things involving classpecting. and those things, right, they are not interesting to the majority of the population, but I would hope that they are to you, because otherwise why are you here?

now, today's episode, episode 2, presumably, is about classes. because I started going into that in the last one and I would like to elaborate. now here's the thing about classes. is that classes are fucking weird, and I don't get them. I don't think they make sense, and I don't think that they're real. I sort of alluded to this in the last one when I said that they are bullshit and also real. that is true. I also don't believe that.

classes are in opposition to things that make sense, but they are very in line with what we like to think makes sense. which is to say- am I too quiet? am I too quiet? hello.

now, that is to say that if you are someone with a class, which is supposedly all people, then you do the thing with your aspect in a certain way, and that is really interesting because... that's stupid.

I've mentioned thousands of times all over the cosmos that that is stupid because people do lots of things and so it's instead of a what you do it's a tendency, what is your tendency? mine is to ramble for just a fucked up amount of time and to post is on the internet because i'm a special boy. but that's not the only thing I do. I also consume media, like some kind of ravenous Light creature that desires media. but I don't know, I do a lot of things. I love through light. I uh.. other things, through light, probably. and also all other aspects. it's really quite bullshit because people are very a lot. people are a lot. if anyone knows that it's me, because I do

and the thing is, the thing about people being a lot, is that you can kind of figure out how people work sort of. and that's what classes are, right? I mentioned in the last one that classes are sort of seen, by me at least, as more rigid than aspects, but that's bullshit. classes are fucking loose as hell like everything else, that's the whole point of everything. and so I think that it's worth looking into the classes in a more loose, anarchistic way, which was the entire point of this to begin with because I wanted to rant about how that was bullshit and to assess it in a new light.

pun... intended. [sigh]

and see, when you have a class like maid, and you say "uhm, that is paired with, um. hmm. I don't know" because here's the thing, I originally had it set as the maid/heir and witch/sylph setup. and then I swapped it to maid/sylph witch/heir which both make sense to me. is that correct? is that what I switched it to? I don't even remember. the point is those four classes are really really... fucking weird. you can do anything you want, you can combine them in whatever way. like the common one is heir/sylph and- did I do that? I did do that, I did- no that's not the common one, I don't know, I don't fucking know, nobody knows what's going on with those four classes, everyone's just guessing

because hussie was like "yo, thieves and rogues? yeah" which was obvious "bards and princes? yeah" which was not as obvious. and then knight and page people- I think that was confirmed at some point, but that just makes sense because of the whole batman and robin thing. and then mages and seers just make a lot of sense, because it's all logical.

but then you have maids, and sylphs, and witches, and heirs, and I don't know what the fuck to do with these classes, because they all do things. and when things do things and a lot of things it's really easy to see them as doing one thing when they could be doing a lot of things. and you can reframe things, I talked about reframing your past, well it's really easy to reframe an entire class as something if that makes sense to you

and that has made me think about those other classes, where if not for hussie saying "yes rogue and thief are pairs" and "prince and bard and all of that" would we have even made the connection of pairs? or woiuld it have all just sort of been a blob. where. aspects are kind of just a blob. I have this whole thing called triangle theory which is weird, and I think quite potent and interesting and cool, lol, but also kind of stupid because the aspects of course there's gonna be similarities everywhere, everything's fucking everywhere, but also categories are fun and I think those are some good categories

I barely even feel comfortable taking credit for it because I was kind of just sort of drawing shapes on the wheel and that one kinda made sense and then I kept trying to expand upon it like the ones adjacent, what's up with them? what's- I tried so hard to do the seer of light thing, to look into that wheel and find as much meaning as possible where there was none. it's a wheel. maybe triangle theory was on some level subconsciously thought about, but probably not. it's just a wheel. they just fucking put shit so they could confirm which aspects were counterparts.

and then classes have not had a wheel. and that is both tantalizing and awful, and I don't like it, but it is good. I think that that is good. I honestly think that the aspects not being confirmed, like what their specific pairs were, would've been good too

I remember early on I had the fucking wild idea that life and blood would be counterparts, that breath and rage would be counterparts, and hope and doom would be counterparts, because the other three pairs were already established I think. they might not have been at that point but I don't remember.

but I had that idea in my brain, and that made sense to me sort of with my understanding at the time and then all of that was wrong and that's good because that was stupid and I was not very good at understanding the thematics and symbolism that were in front of my face

now here's the thing, classes are everywhere. you can find- nothing I'm saying is real, ignore this, I'm gonna cut it out, maybe, probably not. I don't wanna put that much effort into this.

so thieves, for instance, I've got this whole thing about how oh they steal, and they need it and they want it so bad so they keep going and it's a cycle and shit and maybe they become satisfied and then they've got like their nice little hoard but what if a thief decides that they're just comfortable with what they have?

okay, well that's a hoard at lower standards. rather than reaching their unreasonably high standards and staying there they have lowered their standards and are satisfied with where they're at and that's cool. but what if it's not like that at all? what if in lowering their standards they are no longer a thief? what if in lowering their standards and being happy with what they have it becomes something else?

and then you have to wonder, well what the fuck does any of this mean? because a thief is defined by stealing. and a seer is defined by seeing, and a knight.. does stuff. that one doesn't work. but these words have meanings in this world, and... they don't really translate to the classes themselves. a bard is not typically one who destroys things.

well... oh my god. I mean, sometimes, bards, bards actually historically are actually quite potent at destroying the images of officials, that's a thing that bards have done, that makes sense. I'm a fool. I was going to say we're all fools but I'm sure most people have already made that connection. i'm always making connections because I'm not very smart sometimes.

because I don't really think about things unless I'm thinking about things, and when I do I really do and I think about them really well I think, but when I don't think about them I'm not thinking about them as much, which is my own little tunnel vision bullshit

but so bards, they have all of this going on. princes? do they destroy? is that inherent to the concept of a prince? well, as an anarchist, I could argue yes, but... ehh...

and maids, do they... you know, kind of like... freeze time at one point for a guy? and like. all that shit? idk do they make... cookies?? do they bake? what do they do? what do maids do? no they clean. but maids don't clean. i mean- well a long time ago the understanding was oh they sorta clean they maintain, and I still, I think that basic idea is fine, I think it's similar to how for a long time light was synonymous with luck, because that is a simplified idea of it, and simplified ideas are how we reach more complex ideas and that's great, especially when we're working with just fucking images and some words but nothing concrete, you gotta start somewhere, and we have started and gone. we have gone so far. and that's the whole premise of this

why do I keep explaining the premise of this? you're here, you know it.

so thieves are defined by stealing. but if they don't steal anymore, are they a thief? if they no longer yearn for more are they a thief? and if not, what are they? what if nothing fits better? are they just a late stage thief? there's not enough in canon to say. and that's the real thing, classes- as I said, aspects are very much so defined by your own perception of things, it's impossible to avoid, you need to define them yourself. you cannot rely on me or someone else to give you an idea of what the fundamental pieces of life are. what these fluid, changing amazing little fucking buzzwords are.

and classes have to be the same, you can't... expect me to know exactly what they are, and I don't htink anyone does, but maybe? I've met some weird people, I've met some people who expect a lot of me.

and so a thief can be whatever you want. I give my idea of it, a simplified idea that I wrote in a few paragraphs, but I give my idea of it. but idk. I don't know any better than you do if you've put thought into it. because I'm just putting thought into it, and I'm doing what makes sense to me, but I'm- my guide has... four hundred? notes? maybe? I don't know, I haven't checked in actual years, I know I have like 300 followers, but that's a sizeable amount of people, that may not seem like that much to some because numbers are weird, but that's 300 lives who decided they want to follow my blog

and that means they probably read the guide? I can't say for certain but I'd sure expect, and probably thousands more have read it, and it's weird that my ideas can impact people that much, can spread that far, that is a concept that is very important to me as a Light player. which, I'm sure I've talked about somewhere

I am obsessed with the idea of... spreading ideas, really, is what it is. I am obsessed with the idea of having an idea that makes it to other people and then propagates inside of their little brains and expands like a fucking water bear. are they water bears? is that what they were? the things that you put in water- mermen? were they mermen?

and so a THIEF. a thief can't just be someone that just steals because nobody just steals, and nobody's just- well I mean some people do have a tendency to steal that's a thing that we categorize in society, and sometimes people- here's the thing, I think that a thief in the concept of classpecting more often is someone who steals out of necessity out of perceived necessity. rather than of course there are people who steal just because they want to, but more often theft is something that one has to do. whether it's to live or to protect someone or to get by.

thief is such a charged word. and we define an entire person as doing that to an aspect. and that's... confusing. there's a lot of ways in which classes are just confusing. because people don't... do things with concepts that way? that's not really- I don't, Seer of Light? I take for granted. seer of light is just such an obvious thing. like yeah, I look at information, whoa, cool, but what does it mean if I'm a seer of... bad example. what does it mean if I'm a thief of hope? do I steal people's imagination? do I just do... copyright infringement? is that my thing? no! probably not. that's stupid

do I fucking... am I like a cultural vampire? no! no, that's dumb. that's fucking stupid lmfao. and so why is it a thief? because it- it takes but it doesn't- it's like piracy. it's a zero loss thing. that's a controversial take but hey, it's anarchism baby. fucking piracy, you weren't gonna get that fucking money anyways, that person wasn't gonna give you their fucking money. they're poor. nobody has the fucking money for that shit

I don't pirate things to be clear. I do have money. so I buy the things that I do and use and I need to make it clear for legal reasons I am not a funny pirate I do not go arr I am no thief I have never stolen once in my life I am a charming upright citizen please don't arrest me

now here's the thing is thieves are only just one of twelve classes. and why twelve? because that's the number of aspects. so let's make twelve. and then people were like yo let's make fan aspects which... sounds more absurd to me than fan classes, but fan classes should just be equally as absurd

but they're also not? I mean if you think that things need to be categorized in more little ways, I remember spark was one? was an aspect that people hard? spark. and I don't remember what it was, but that I believe was just like a weird little mashup of what was in my mind, Heart and Light. but if that works for you, if you think that that is rigid enough or defined enough then go for it

for me, this system works for me as it is, but obviously not perfectly because otherwise I wouldn't be here, otherwise I would just be satisfied with my little guide, and classes wouldn't baffle me, because...

I have a fondness for witches. so many of the closest people in my life are witches. both in the wider cultural sense and in the classpecting sense. I like witches. they appeal to me. and I have only known one other seer that has defined themselves as such in my life. and I care about them a lot. and I have only-

the thing is that classpecting isn't very widely spread, you know, so I can't say for a fact that I've only met so and so many bards, and ultimately. how someone identifies themselves- I say I'm a seer of light, that can mean entirely different things to you. that means entirely different things to some of the people that I have talked to. I have gotten some weird messages on my blog, not going to mention specifics, but wow yeah. people have ideas. and those ideas don't align with mine but are they less valid? I don't know. I don't think so

classpecting is all based in imagery and symbolism and that is inherently a subjective thing. and subjectivity and objectivity are really really important, and kind of simultaneous in all things. you can't be objective and you can't be purely subjective, nothing is. but your subjective reality impacts the objective reality, and there isn't really an objective reality, but of course there is, and

I haven't really talked about classes at all, really, I haven't delved into anything I want, uh

so classes are kind of like when you decide to do a part 2 later. sorry.

[rosespecting]

ANARCHISTIC CLASSPECTING #1 - RAGE AND HOPE TRANSCRIPT

episode here: x

this is NOT going to be very well formatted but I care about people who can't listen to podcasts so I'm going to put words on a screen. long as fuck under the read more. very comical lies hither and thither because I hadn't decided what exactly I wanted this to be yet.

if you're listening to this you are fucking insane. cause I'm just gonna ramble about classpecting for like an hour or some shit. this is the raw audio. I decided to record the raw audio of me just kind of rambling about classpecting and then I'm gonna write it down in a post on my blog rosespecting. and I decided that if you just wanna listen to me just talk for a while rather than read that thing you can do that, idk why I'm explaining this you already know all of this let's get into it

classpecting has been kind of methodicalized, if you know what I mean. and I've done a lot of that. I mean, I made a whole guide thing, and I think that that is, uh, good, I like my guide, but I do think that it is a little bit dishonest, but I also think that pretty much anything regarding classpecting is a little bit dishonest. I don't think that I can possibly convey to you the truth of classpecting, I think that it is something that you need to feel for yourself, you need to identify these things, and if you don't then you're gonna be lost, you're gonna be digging at stones, shoveling rocks, and you're not gonna get anywhere. and that sucks. for you.

and uh, I decided that you know, the only people that care about classpecting are homestuck fans. that's not true, but it's kinda true. and most of you homestuck fans have read homestuck. I assume the majority at this point. there was a time when that was not the case, but at this point I would assume the majority of homestuck fans have read homestuck.

so here's the thing. classpecting was never meant to be more than a vibe, you know? hussie didn't want it to be more than just like. "yo this guy is like... kind of a knight of... blood maybe. let's call him karkat." obviously hussie put a lot of thought into a lot of things, but I legitimtately don't think that classpecting was ever a huge priority, and I think that that is entirely understandable, because I think that it is very much so... a thing made from theming, and imagery, and we've refined it into this rigid thing, but it's never been a rigid thing.

in skaia alone, I've talked about this on my blog before, it's a malleable thing. you can be different from a seer of light, for instance, but then you're just in a doomed timeline. you're just not the right kind of seer of light. but ultimately, if that was the right timeline, you probably wouldn't be registered as a seer of light. you would be registered as like... a fucking mage of hope. that's a classpecting person, right? yeah. so in another universe that's who I am. I don't know anything about them really so I'm gonna avoid pronouns.

but so classpecting is this very loose thing that we've refined and I kinda wanna just discuss it in a less methodical way because I don't think it was ever meant to be that. and I would be lying if I said I don't think it's good that it has been. I think it's brought a lot more appeal to a lot of people,b ut it also means that a lot of people are missing out on what it really is, myself include. I ruined classpecting for myself in a lot of ways by making it this methodical thing. by putting harsher rules to it than there needs to be or should be.

because classpecting is not... a science. well it is a science. but it's not a strict science. some sciences are like you look at the plant and you're like in ten days i think this plant will be eight inches taller if I use this soil and then you use that soil and you use a plant that's not in that soil, that's in like other soil, and that soil maybe it changes things maybe it doesn't you do this like fifty times and then you've got evidence, and maybe you can point out a correlation, maybe some causaition, who knows.

and so it's kind of a science, but it's not that science if you know what I mean, which I hope you do because we're already like six and a half minutes in. uh, okay, um

so hope. i'm gonna start with hope, I feel like I have done a disservice to hope in the refining of classpecting, the systemizing of it. more than most other aspects. hope is not really something that can or should be tied down and I think that rage is the same way. rage is the aspect that I think is the hardest to put into words, and I think that is why it is so easily misrepresented and misunderstood, but i'm gonna start with hope becaus eI want to talk about hope

namely because when I was younger, when I was about 13, I've said previously that if I had not been a seer of light I would've been a seer of mind, and that is a lie. when I was thirteen I kind of consciously chose between what I saw as seer of light and something I saw as seer of mind but it was actually me choosing between some sort of hope player and seer of light. I don't know if I would've still been a seer if I remained as hopey as I was, but I was a very hope filled child. I think you could say a lot of children are, but I really really embodied that.

and to this day I still hold a lot of the aspect hope in me. I am unrepentantly optimistic. oit's kind of horrifying. and so much of what I see as me being lucky is just accepting circumstances as they come. I'll try to get a certain result and then I get something else and I'm like "oh, well that result's probably better." and I justify it to myself, and then I feel this truth to it that I put faith into. and I call it me being really lucky.

and when I was thirteen, no, yeah, about thirteen, I remember I was at a fair with my best friend at the time. and if you aren't aware I am nonbinary. anyone who's gotten this far who cares enough about this probably knows that. I don't know. but at the time I was just a tiny little boy, uhhh. but more importantly I was a tiny little boy who thought... that uh, that he was a tiny little girl. this is not how I usually talk about gender, but [laughs]

I remember I used to talk with my best friend a lot about hypotheticals in which one or both of us became girls, and this night it came up for some reason and then my friend and also some random girl we met decided to pretend that I had suddenly magically turned into a girl, and I... knew? on a very real level that it wasn't true. but I also believed it. not in any tangible way, but as I played along it was less me playing, and more me... living that. and that was one of the most magical nights of my life.

and I have often, in recent times, described the difference between hope and light, in my experience at least, as feeling magic int he case of hope, and understanding magic in the case of light, and I am glad that I understand it, but I do think that... when you know a magic trick, how it's done, it no longer has that ability to capture you. that's osmething that I've learned in my acceptance of void, which...

biggest part of this, the thesis, is that as it turns out. aspects blend a lot. it's a very muddy sort of thing. and so I've been coming to accept all of the aspects a lot more and. I am very happy for that. I am very happy that my understanding is no longer in that rigid, honestly "lighty" perspective. seer-y. cause. I am a seer of light, but I don't need to let it paint everything to the extent that it did. I think that that instinct is not healthy.

I don't think you should strive to be the best of your classpect, regardless of what it is, I think ultimately you should be striving to do whatever it is you're striving to be beyond that. you should be working on your life, not on matching this image that you have in your head of what you should be. focus instead of being something. and refine it.

you know, figure out what works for you, explore. some deep part of me has this feeling that like "oh if you changed your classpect then it just means that you were that most recent one all along" but idk. It's really easy to reframe your past. it is obscenely easy to reframe your past. you can bend the classes and aspects to be whatever you want, ultimately. I have seen that firsthand, I have seen some _wild_ people. and I don't think that that's good. I think it's important to meet it on the level that it's at, and to understand that it...

I don't want to say that you shouldn't put yourself into it, because if anything I'm saying the opposite, but you shouldn't enforce yourself on it. you shouldn't paint it in your image, you should... let it... be a part of your paint? idk

aspects are very interesting. and classes are... less interesting, to me, but also interest, specifically in the way that they are categorized. I think that the idea of active and passive classes, and of counterparts, and of inversion, it's all... very fun? and very engaging. but I think it's kind of bullshit. but I also think it's real.

I hold that position with a lot of things, because very rarely is something completely fake or completely real, and more often than you'd think I think things are often both completely fake And completely real. which I guess is looping back to hope and rage. tihs is a fun little journey that we're gonna go on, so rage.

rage is a very difficult aspect to pin down. because... for a long time, I could not understand how a person could be a rage player, because rage in text is just... a facet of people, but it can't be all that you are. and that's because I wasn't looking at it as rage, I was looking at it as these words that I'd written down that were rage, that are rage, but not all of it, and I think that rage is done quite a disservice by being looked at in a formal lens, I guess.

because rage is a very raw experience. rage is possibly, probably paired with hope, the most raw aspect, the least easy to really define. because I mean, when I was explaining hope, I was just tlaking about magic. magic is such- it's just a word. we apply to so many things that aren't magic, but we don't know how to explain them any better, so we say.. . magic.

and rage is the... a counterpart to that. and it's so interesting how this thing which is based in skepticism, in opposition, inherently, is opposing something that isn't really real. and that's where it comes in, I think. rage is . yes, about things that are wrong, things that aren't real, but it's not just about things that aren't real, it's about things that aren't... real. and that probably lost more than half of you, but I don't know how I'm going to explain that better

rage is when you look at someone... and you can tell that they are not who they are putting themselves out to be. they are someone who looks like they have everything altogether, who looks like they really really know what they're doing, and it is true to them, but it's not.

rage is when you close your eyes and you dont' see anything. the moments when there's not flashing colors, little morphy blobs, or your imagination. when it is just the back of your eyelids, and less than that, really, because I don't think you're processing the back of your eyelids, you're processing this darkness, this nothing, this lack of reality. oh god, i'm, this is really going off the rails.

listen, okay, that's probably the best I can give for rage. and... we're already 21 minutes into this. so. rage and hope are like that, and then void and light, I've compared these four aspects a lot, because on paper hope and rage are just... kind of more... raw versions of light and void, but in reality that's not... true? that's not really how things work. you can't really compare things in that way, with this, because it's actively opposing that idea.

that's what classpecting is, it's... an opposition to these rigid ideas that I love. and I think that's why I love classpecting so much? because it's a challenge for me. I have been working on this for years. over like. oh my god, a decade, on and off, and I still don't understand it entirely, and I think I could spend the rest of my life thinking about this and figuring it out more and more for me. and it's going to be different for you, I can't make it not different for you, because classpecting is a personal thing, and...

let's talk about classes. so. inversion is... a really cool idea. and classes are a really cool idea. and I think that the reason why classes are not as interesting to me is because I have done the same thing with them as I did with aspects, and I haven't repaired it yet. classes are not a rigid thing. they can't be, and in my mind, they're more rigid than aspects, that is an inherent truth in my brain, but I don't think that's true.

classes are how you do things, and how you do things... is honestly less rigid than how you think things. there's only... I mean, both are infinite, is the thing, it's capturing infinites, ultimately, no matter what you do that is what this is. and that is inherently going to have flaws. classpecting is imperfect, and it always will be, but it's imperfect in a way that I feel is very helpful. for me, at least, and I assume anyone who's 25 fucking minutes into this. uh.

classpecting is... weird. I need to piss, I'll continue this later.

[rosespecting]

Oh dear

So... I decided to start a podcast thing. It's literally just me rambling about classpecting in a far less formalized way than I have done on this blog, and assessing the ways in which this formalized discussion has kind of damaged classpecting as a whole. It's going to be so long. Episode one is mostly about Hope and Rage. Have fun? I'll post a link any time a new episode comes out, should be somewhat frequent.

[rosespecting]

Volatility - A Light Read

As a Seer, my relationship with my aspect is something I hold extremely highly. Light has been my driving force for as long as I can remember, even if I haven’t always been true to its calling. I have at times acted against its best interests, and have given it less room to grow inside me in a misguided pursuit of it.

As with any other aspect, Light is dangerous when overindulged, As much as I’d like to, I can’t claim that players of my cloth are more likely to do such a thing. The urge I feel to identify Light players as unique in some way is a distinct part of the problem I’ll be addressing in this post. That said, it is the only aspect I’ve ever truly lived in, so I’ll have to take from that perspective for me to remain honest with you all. Strap in, kiddos, we’re going for a ride and it’s not going to be pretty.

Purity is a concept I am far too familiar with. The act of thoroughly distilling one’s life is an idea that has passed through my mind countless times, and even when I’ve not been actively considering it, I’ve aimed for it on some level. I have desperately chased after this goal, spurred on by my desire for perfection in myself and others. It has harmed just about everyone I’ve ever known. I have harmed just about everyone I’ve ever known.

To some extent, that’s inevitable. People hurt other people, they make up for it, and things move on. That said, this isn’t an

actually, you know what? no fancy writing shit, no clever word shit, no smug deliverance of bullshit everyone already knows so people think it’s profound. gonna fucking talk to you all. just going to talk at you I guess. not going to fuck around with this pretentious shit for this one.

I’ve had this desire my entire life to talk like a textbook, but five years or so ago I realized that was stupid and have suppressed it ever since. I talk like a normal person, or as close to that as I can. and so I come here, back to my roots, back to this world of classpecting and what’s the first thing I do? I give myself an excuse to go back to how I was when I first got involved in it. it’s all just rose lalonde semi-rp, see? it’s clever.

except it’s not. and you know it’s not. you the reader, who does not know me (except those who do, hi, I’m doing alright don’t worry about it), who knows only this image I put up on screen, you know it’s all bullshit. you’re smart like that.

even just that transition I did three paragraphs ago feels so pretentious, like damn you’re really gonna keep in all of that early stuff so you can show people you still know how to be capital c Cool but also now you’re doing this so you seem all relatable and shit and you’ve got this sick mic drop right in the middle man that’s cool. what a cool tumblr user.

but all of this shit? this is just Light. these fucking theatrics, like I’ve got someone to impress, but it’s really all for me. nobody needs the bullshit, it just makes me feel good. scratches an itch. but it’s not even a good itch? that’s the whole point of all of this. it’s not a good itch. it’s an itch that the more you scratch it the more it spreads and eventually you’re not scratching but tearing at skin and eventually it runs out of places to spread on your person so it spreads to others and next thing you know you’re sitting with their blood on your hands and they’re like damn dude what the fuck and you don’t even really understand because you’ve been doing this for so long, you’re so deep in it that it just seems normal.

but it’s not. and you, “you” you not metaphorical “me” you, you know it’s not normal. on the outside, it’s obvious. obviously this toxic Lighty bullshit is bad for me. obviously it’s not good to give everything I have for Light. and so I pull back, and that’s good, that works, and now I’m here. I’m here, now, in this place where I’m indulging in every aspect, where I have this lovely collage of all the different pieces of perception, and that’s great! but just because I’m not overly indulging in Light doesn’t mean the ways I am indulging are good.

there’s volatility at the core of my relationship with Light. and looking around, finally actually seeing the world for what it is, I’m at a loss. because I know myself. I know that Light is what draws me. I know that I am at my happiest with it. but after so long the good parts and the bad have stuck together so hard that I’m not sure how to take them apart.

so, what, do I give up? toss all of it and find some other aspect to go after? realistically it’d be Void, and my relationship with Void has changed a lot in the last couple years, and I see that possibility far more than I ever did before. but I also know that I’m not that. I know that being that wouldn’t be good for me either. so no, I don’t give up. and you shouldn’t either.

no matter what the fuck happens, no matter how bad it gets, it’s never a bad idea to try to heal. jumping off a ship with a hole in it just brings you to the ocean faster. patch it. or something, god, see I’m doing it again. with the metaphors and the theatrics and shit, idfk.

I’m changing. I’m a changing person, and that’s like. weird, I guess. and extremely normal. but idk. honestly I don’t really know anymore what I wanted to say with all of this. I have had a terrible time being a Light player, and I imagine all of you have had a terrible time being whatever you are. it always starts out rough. and maybe you’re further along than I am, or further behind, but we’re all heading one way you know? there’s no going backwards, even if we want there to be. you’re going to move forward. so just try to move upwards, too.

there’s no moral to this post, really, just wanted to sort out my own thoughts. I’ve always done that best in front of a crowd, so thanks for being my crowd.

please take care of yourself. let yourself be good to yourself and others. even if it’s scary, because fuck change is scary, it’s... it’s good. it can be good, at least. just get some good change idk i’m not ending this on a fancy thing that’s antithetical to the entire point bye

[rosespecting]

honk :o)

Why are you lost?

[rosespecting]

You're a deity, they're a deity, are there any other deities I should know about?!

I know of a few billion potential god tiers.

[rosespecting]

If you're a deity, and I am a deity....

Then we must go back to the beginning.

[rosespecting]

I am a deity.

Tumblr has introduced time travel to its website.

Okay.

Hello from nine years ago when this blog would be far more relevant.

[rosespecting]

Added "Now, it’s important to note that I use a lot of words for the purpose of painting a picture. Please do not let yourself latch onto one specific part of a description, as it may mislead you. Focus on the whole, as that is what I’m trying to convey. For instance, you don’t need to be a Light player to be a reckless perfectionist, or vice versa." to the Determining Your Title & Extras part of the guide.

[rosespecting]

so yeah uh hi my name is rei and I make stuff. decided after a good while that I might as well introduce the pretty decent following I have here over to my other work. here's the link to my twitter again for those who didn't see the last post.

my life goal is to spread awareness and fight stigma of brain stuff, and I'm going to start posting a serial story that aims to do that exact thing with DID in the coming months.

I post about leftism sometimes, but mostly I just kind of say random shit. it's probably not the sort of thing you'd expect from the person who made this blog, what with the whole Serious Big Words schtick, but hey, it's me. what are you gonna do

don't feel pressured to follow me if you don't like the stuff I do, though. just figured I'd give people the chance, since i've kept these two brands pretty far separated for a good long while. if you're not interested, or the cognitive dissonance from seeing the rose lalonde rper having three distinct clownsonas is too strong for you, then I totally get it

seeya til next time

[rosespecting]

https://twitter.com/reilgunner

[rosespecting]

Exploration of Recent Changes

If you’re reading this, you probably already know that I just revamped my Classpect Introspection Guide. If you didn’t, I recommend you read the new version before you read this post, as most of what I’m talking about here will mean very little if you haven’t.

As always, this post is going to go under a read more, because I have a lot to cover.

For the sake of keeping things organized, I’ll split this up into sections based on the sections in my guide.

Section One: Aspects

Over the years since I started this blog, I’ve gathered a much better understanding of the aspects, including Light. You probably could have guessed as much after reading my section on Seers, or just from reading the mess that was my old post, but I was a bit narrowminded when it came to all of this.

All I really did here was elaborate somewhat on everything, as well as rewrite some less than amazing parts. I also rearranged the presentation slightly by swapping the order of some things around, but that’s a fairly minor change.

The aspects that benefitted from this change most, in my opinion, were Doom, Rage, and Hope. I offer my genuine apologies to anyone who found their descriptions lacking before. I hope what I’ve done now is sufficient.

Section Two: Classes

First and foremost, I decided that one paragraph was nowhere near enough. My guide is supposed to be more or less self-sufficient, and yet the descriptions I gave were confusing, vague, and daft.

Most importantly, to me at least, was the fact that I talked about so many different things. Some classes were entirely focused on early life, some went very deep into their potential... it was a mess. So, naturally, I gave a paragraph for early life, a paragraph for potential, and a paragraph for my final thoughts. Sometimes the final thoughts were just a nice sounding summary, but they allowed critically important room for some things that didn’t fit elsewhere.

Another thing I did was changing the bolded words from one which mostly fit both of them to individual words that better fit what the class does. Sure, a Seer knows, but how do they know?

Lastly, I removed the class rundowns entirely. They weren’t even worth preserving in a pastebin. That which wasn’t outdated was at best mediocre, and at worst misleading.

That’s really all there is to say about classes. There’s nothing else. Moving on.

Section Two Point Oh shit wait what?

Okay, fine, I’ll address the elephant in the room. Sylph/Heir? Witch/Maid? What? What is this? To be honest, that was my initial reaction to most of what changed here, but obviously I managed to be swayed toward this new line of thinking. Let me try to do the same for you.

My main goal when I began tackling this again was to reevaluate classes as a whole. While a good chunk of what I had written was right, there were holes that I couldn’t ignore. Ren and I had a back and forth, involving a lot of theories they had created and a lot of me adoring those theories and running with them. 

We started by isolating what has been canonically established:

Active: Thief, Prince, Witch

Passive: Rogue, Bard, Seer, Heir, Maid

Pairings: Thief/Rogue, Prince/Bard 

This left a lot to be desired, but we had more pieces now than when I first made my guide, so I couldn’t really complain.

Mage/Seer is such an obvious combo that I barely even took the time to reevaluate it, but I did briefly consider a few other pairings. Knight/Page was even more obvious, seeing as the classes were designed together, and... everything else about them.

So, as always, this left us with the four which have divided this community for ages: Sylph, Heir, Witch, and Maid. With Maid being confirmed to be passive, Sylph was immediately and bizarrely pushed into the role of an active class. I’m not too proud to admit that I began looking for alternatives before I actually sat down and considered it.

For Maid to be passive, and Sylph to be active, it meant that I had to rediscover what those two words meant in the first place. This process was faster than I expected, because it was kind of obvious right from the start. We’d been told what they meant in canon, and I’d added some things onto it. I suppose I’ve done the same again, but now they’re elaborations of what we know, rather than purely original observations.

So, passive Maid and active Sylph made sense, now. The way Sylphs help others has always been notably different from the passive classes, and this helped explain that.

Then, though, we’re presented with a question nobody has ever asked in their entire lives: Should it be Witch/Heir and Sylph/Maid or Witch/Maid and Sylph/Heir? I’m unsure if this is actually completely uncharted territory, but it’s definitely some weird shit. Even the closest, Witch/Heir and Maid/Sylph, always had active Maid and passive Sylph, to my knowledge.

So, what do you do when you’re dealing with weird shit? I, at least, spend more time thinking about it than I probably should. Believe it or not, I eventually came to a conclusion, and that conclusion is reflected in my guide. The pieces just sort of fell together in a way that made a lot of sense, leading me to a point where I truly believe that there are no holes in my guide anymore. All things are considered, all possibilities available. It’s a very nice feeling, and I hope it’s one that is shared by my readers.

Section Three: The Last Two

My understanding of inversion has grown, so naturally I updated a fair bit here. The same can be said for everything after it.

Okay, we’re done here. This was already longer than it probably needed to be.

Until next time.

[rosespecting]

Classpecting 2 dropped. I’ll elaborate on the changes I’ve made in a follow up post in the next few days.

Classpect Introspection Guide

Many would offer you a test to determine your title, but I find the very concept to be heavily flawed due to the nature of the system. I shall, instead, provide you with the information needed to figure out your title yourself. This will take a fair bit of self-analysis, as your title is just about as personal as it gets.

IMPORTANT: This post has been revamped. I have learned a lot since I first wrote this, and so naturally I decided I should spread the depths of my new understanding to those who come back to or had simply never seen this post. A lot has been added, and some major things have been reevaluated.

Some parts of this have been removed, because they were made from now-outdated theories. In the interest of intellectual honesty, I’ve put the old text into this pastebin for those who want to see this post in its (mostly) original state. It’s not pretty, but it’s there.

With that said, let’s get to it.

Keep reading

[rosespecting]

Doing some early Spring cleaning. I’ve learned a lot in the time I’ve been gone. Not everything holds up.

Things may be missing, or broken, but that will be resolved soon.

Very soon.

[rosespecting]

How do you all feel about controversial, explosive returns?