rosesinthe-disarray - Tumblr blog

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I date people to fix them

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Always messes up the conversation by saying something stupid when they talk to someone pretty Squad

GEMINI, Cancer, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Pisces

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I got a tattoo of Casper the friendly ghost on my thigh. When I would slap it, he’d whisper the answers to my math test to me. If anyone else tried to slap it, Casper would say “not so friendly now, huh?” and then proceed to choke them.

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Life isn’t always candy ! Sometimes it’s a mouthful of sand! You just have to keep putting things in your mouth!!!

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1-star yelp review of laguardia airport

written using a predictive text interface

source: all 1-star yelp reviews of laguardia airport

transcript:

Keep reading

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cleaning with a mr clean magic eraser is such a sensual experience like the mess just goes away it’s so easy…… i just cleaned the fridge and i was turned on the whole time. mr clean owns my ass

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Me, your roommate back in Boulder: what the fuck?

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millennial dreams: to have enough money for a 1 bedroom apartment, bills, and groceries. 

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The moment my dog (and husband) realized I was in the car beside him

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the reason i like staying up late so much is because between the hours of 1am-5am, the world is quiet and no one expects anything from me. i could stare at my wall for 4 hours and there would be no consequences. it’s so silent and calm. i love it

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Me: Can my game PLEASE stop lagging and stuttering for the love of god I’ve cleaned out my mods folder, the cache and everything possi-

My game:

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i choked reading this