roseserpent - Tumblr blog

[roseserpent]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[roseserpent]

[roseserpent]

I JUST learned that this shirt cost them $10,000 to put into this movie… but they refused to compromise because they were like: he’s the hugest Golden Girls fan… this has to make the movie… so they paid $10,000 to use Bea Arthur’s likeness on this shirt…  Ryan Reynolds, you’re doing Deadpool so right.

[roseserpent]

i think janitor should be the highest paying job in a society

[roseserpent]

🐈‍⬛🤍

last week to get Gracie 🖤

[roseserpent]

[roseserpent]

tutorial for drawing characters with cleft lip! sorry that it's mostly unilateral-centric but it makes up the vast majority of resources and photos. still tried to get tips for drawing bilateral clefts in though.

please keep in mind that this is an introductory drawing tutorial and has some generalizations in it, so not every “X is Z” statement will be true for Actual People : )

if you draw any characters using this feel free to tag me!!

[roseserpent]

it's dangerous that you have to log into your bank account to see your balance i should have it in the corner of my vision at all times like a video game

[roseserpent]

[roseserpent]

forbidden knowledge

[roseserpent]

[roseserpent]

Crying over these geese.. oh to be a solitary goose finding love and starting a family in an interracial goose relationship

[roseserpent]

but if I sleep that means I have to go to work…. But I need to sleep cause I’m going to work but if I go to sleep that means I have to go to work… and if I’m going to work I need to sleep but if I sleep now I’ll have to go to work

[roseserpent]

LIFE HACK: you can hit a strawberry with a hammer and you won't BELIEVE what happens next!

[roseserpent]

a little comic for jasons birthday. on being robin & batman and being brave & scared

[roseserpent]

I'm not gonna lie had I known this was a thing two months ago I probably would have bought it. But I'm trans masc and seldom shop in the women's aisle, nor do I have TV so no advertisements.

I have a lack of education on what's considered women's health, let alone what's considered normal in the prospect of the changes your body faces as you age and I don't just mean puberty. Yes I know you don't just smell like daisies naturally, but I also usually feel like by the end of the day I shouldn't be able to smell myself. My lack of education even went so far as to feel further abnormal due to the trend of that time of the month where you "shed".

With being able to smell myself by the end of the day even though I showered that morning and my spouse even commented on it acting mildly grossed out by me even after a fresh shower, I felt something was wrong.

NOTHING. WAS. WRONG.

I do everything I can to do labor work so I build up a sweat and wouldn't you know it I stink! I've applied like two coats of under arm deodorant, I guarantee all those nooks and crannies between my legs are feeling just the same! I didn't realize my odor was completely normal until last month and I am 26 years old. TWENTY SIX.

This right here is how they get you. You don't know anything about your body, you don't understand why you smell or feel a certain way. This lack of health education fucks everyone over (except the corporations they love that were stupid) and I don't mean just sexual health I mean your health as a whole. At some point you are bound to let your loved ones unintentionally dominate your own feels towards your body, hell it doesn't have to be your damn loved ones it can be literally anyone.

Putting soaps, douches and even scented pads are bad for the natural environment you got going on down there. Don't cave and get deodorant for your hoo-ha just to smell like how you think the TV model smells. I guarantee she also smells like very watered down tuna.

YOU. DONT. NEED. TO. SMELL. LIKE. FRENCH. VANILLA. OR. FLOWERS.

Put it back on the shelf.

shocked that i haven’t seen a post about this already but the way that “full body deodorant” is being pushed on us is so vile. that woman in the commercials being like “i’m a woman and i know how it feels to be ashamed of your body’s natural odors. that’s why i invented this shit to rub between your thighs so you, too, can feel ashamed of your body’s natural odors. unless you buy my product :)” die die die die kill yourself fuck you fuck you

[roseserpent]

The nurse who prescribes my HRT is great, zero complaints, but he can put the ball a little too in-my-court. In my most recent checkup we were talking about adjusting my dose, and he asked what dosage I wanted, and like, that's not a question I am qualified to answer, my guy.

So I said, "My ideal dose is basically that I'm holding an erlenmeyer flask of pure estrogen and someone offscreen yells, 'Doctor, you can't!' and I say, 'Just watch me!' and then I drink it and contort violently around and then fall out of frame and when I pop back into frame I'm played by Anne Hathaway."

And he didn't give me that dose but he did up it, so, like I said, zero complaints.