roseeediariesss - Tumblr blog

[roseeediariesss]

makes me sick to see people dedicating their lives to their careers and families. what about phone in bed

[roseeediariesss]

i can't keep living like this!!! [does not change a single aspect of my life]

[roseeediariesss]

I have an idealized version of myself in my mind and she’s really pissed off at my life choices

[roseeediariesss]

YOU WILL FIND A WAY!!!! YOU WILL FIND A WAY . You will find a WAY ….. you WILL find a way . You will find a way you will find a way……!! YOU WILL FIND A WAY YOU WILL FIND A WAY you will find a Way you will (find) a way you will find. a way you will find a way YOU WILL FIND A WAY!!!!!!!

[roseeediariesss]

why conform when you can just be.

[roseeediariesss]

stop!!! letting!!! famous!!! men!!! get!!! away!!! with!!! abuse!!! against!!! women!!!

[roseeediariesss]

EVERYTHING WILL FALL INTO PLACE

[roseeediariesss]

it is still body shaming if it’s a bbl orrrrrr

[roseeediariesss]

i just want to be good and do good.

i just want to do better than my parents to make them proud.

i want to learn from others around me so i can go further.

i just want to be good to others . i just want to give my best to the earth.

i just want to rest. i just want to sleep. i just want peace.

i just want to be in the moment. i just want joy. i just want to be good.

i just want to be fulfilled. i just want to be good..

[roseeediariesss]

who cares, make mistakes. live your life. all of this shit is temporary

[roseeediariesss]

no room for making the same mistakes again. done w backpedaling

[roseeediariesss]

9/7/24

being inadequate is the most frustrating thing EVER. and what even sucks more is putting in a lot of effort and still not understanding the concept.

it’s only the second week of the semester and this very familiar feeling is back … feeling like an idiot. it’s frustrating when it seems like you’re the only one in class how is left behind and can’t comprehend something. it make you feel like there’s something wrong with YOU. so idk … i really wish i can understand this stuff yk. i put in a lot of hours and work to study and master concepts but i never get it. and it’s frustrating because i need these pre reqs for grad school. so i’m

nervous that i will fail and it would ruin my chances of applying.

but it’s also upsetting knowing that i’m stressing over stuff that i will NOT need in physical therapy. but it is what it is…

as always, i would do everything in my power to do my best 🙃

anywayssss i went to training for work and attempted to do my homework but needed to regroup so i’m gonna on a run and lock-in with studying for this physics quiz on monday .

[roseeediariesss]

9/1/24

sooooo the first week of the semester was ok/a bit rough tbh. i’m damn near out for most of the day and don’t get home til 9:30 and have to wake up early EVERY SINGLE DAY! i honestly hate that for me but it has to be done. and i just know the caffeine addiction is gonna be CRAZY because i needdddd it !!!

but besides that , shadowing has been going really well and i’m starting to feel more comfortable there and with the physical therapist and assistants ! i really enjoy seeing there be a safe space for haitian people to get access to the healthcare that they need ! i’ve always that about how in north miami there’s a lack of health education and healthcare access. and it’s just nice to see that bridge being built for the community. i also appreciate how everyone knows each other and that the therapist are attentive with the patients while giving them room to work independently! this is just showing me day by day that this is something i want to pursue and it honestly feels my heart with joy <3 and it also helps me get out of my shell and socialize and how to communicate with patients, which is super important! 10/10 experience so far!

i’ve also started the process of applying to programs and receiving information for pt programs … and it honestly doesn’t feel real . i signed up for 2 webinars for one program and about to start preparing for the GRE and i just can’t believe i made it this far ! i’m really proud of myself but it’s overwhelming and i want to make sure i put in my all to make sure i can be the best candidate i can!

and i also have to change my workout split 🙈 the way my schedule is set up, i cannot realistically keep up with my current split . so i’m gonna figure out a new that’s most likely gonna be weight lifting three times a week and cardio/active rest on the weekend. this will also be interesting to switch my workout split to a different format!

but overall, i have been really tired and was honestly scared because i know for sure it’s going to be harder once assignments and projects are due . but nonetheless, im going to put in the work because it need to be doneeeee ! that’s why i’m trying to implement healthy habits know like trying to master a subject during the weekend so that i could have a better understanding of the chapter ! so if i continue to do that and be focused i should be good !

i think that’s all i have for now ….

[roseeediariesss]

8/30/24

i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired.

[roseeediariesss]

pioneering something called "gritted teeth optimism" where everything is gonna turn out okay even if i have to bite and claw and gnash my way through it

[roseeediariesss]

8/25/24

fall semester is starting tomorrow and i’m lowkey freaking out .. between this being last semester of undergrad, taking physics and chem at the same time, my internship, ANDDD getting a new position at work is starting to feel overwhelming.

i’m thankful for being in this position in my life but i’m scared that i might mess up or burn myself out. like i’m going to my internship three times a week, so i could hurry and get my hours by the end of September. so that i can only focus on school for the rest of the semester. plus i would like to start applying to physical therapy programs by october.

i’m also trying to boost up my gpa to a 3.5, so i really need to be locked innnnnn ! but i’m also trying not to stress out because i might be able to handle it ! i have overcame A LOT and i believe i could do the same for this season of my life !

if i just lock innnnn, i’ll be straight.

but i also wanna keep up with my hobbies like fitness, reading, and content creation! but i can’t really visualize how i’ll be able to that with everything on my plate. i also don’t want to be a zombie and not hangout with my friends and family! i want to be able to maintain the relationships i have built overtime and continue to be present in them but i know how i get during the fall semester especially..

butttt i know that stressing is not going to make it better, so i’m gonna try to take initiative and manage my time well and have discernment on what i should prioritize in certain moments. i just have to find the balance in everything and also be realistic with myself! for example, if i know i want to hangout with my friends, i will manage my time to make sure i have study and completed my assignments so i can enjoy the time with my friends. ORRRR knowing that there maybe times i can’t go out because i have a big exam coming. orrr not working to many hours at work so that i could get enough sleep!

idkkk man lol. i’m just gonna try my best to be consistent in everything and find a balance that works for ME ! if it’s that i have to change my workout split so that i don’t feel like i’m killing myself, then that’s what it has to be ! and specifically with fitness, i always feel like i’m not getting stronger if i’m not working out as much and that’s not necessarily true. or even just making workouts shorter for the sake of time ! i always feel like i’m failing my body if i have to change my workout routine in exchange for something else like studying, working, or even just resting. so that’s something i’ll definitely have to get used to but i’ve lowkey already been doing that sometimes lol.

anywayssssss … i’m gonna put my best foot forward in this season because EVERYTHING COUNTS ! getting enough sleep, working, doing things for myself, studying, etc. all of these things will determine the next season of my life and will do everything to make sure i set myself up for the life that i want , period !

so here’s a few goals that i have for the fall semester ( school and non-school related):

get a 3.5 gpa or higher

pass chem and physics with a B or higher

try to review subjects AS i’m learning them to get a better understanding

do EVERY single assignment and extra credit !!

eat healthy !

workout at least 3 times a week

read 1 book a month

take GRE in october

start applying to PT programs in october

that’s all of the ones i can come up with rn but those are the main things that i want to achieve for this semester! i also i wanna keep up with doing the diary entries !

[roseeediariesss]

8/19/24

tired but content :)

i did my first day of shadowing today and it went realllyyyyy well! everyone was so kind and informative! it was nice to see ppl actually be passionate about their career and the patients.

i was nervous bc i’m always nervous when being in a new environment but everything went well!

but i just knowwwww i’m going to be so tired in September..got a lot on my plate