roommiechronicles

[roommiechronicles]

When you're just trying to read a magazine and they ask you what you would tell your younger self and you've seen this question like a thousand times already, fuck

Here's an option: Flashback to that time you were fourteen years old and your legs were swinging over the edge of some chicks bunk bed and you knew you were only there because she pitied you. It was the beginning of field hockey camp. Everyone had a nicer stick than you. You were surrounded by juniors and sophomores and you were a freshman, so when the girls started playing "Never Have I Ever," it was like your first day of real ass class all over again. Like a seven period school day instead of five and kids that make out in the halls and kids who smell like- Here's your first lesson: "All you have to do," one girl explains to the group, all their fingers still wriggling in the air, "is take a jar and fill it up with gummy worms, right? And then you just fill it up with vodka and wait like two hours and then BOOM." She snaps her fingers. "It's the fucking best." The next day you'll hear her say word for word that "yeah, I guess she nice, but she's just so fucking weird." But that night you are totally eating out of the palm of her hand, because vodka? Fucking vodka, omg... What does it even taste like? Yesterday, in 2015, you tried vodka gummy bears for the first time. Handful after hand full, licking your fingers, while you played water pong at a friends cook out and missed every throw. You eat from the bottom cuz that's where the good shit is, that's where it smells like a Saturday night. You don't get drunk, but you want to. You're over thinking your throws and you don't want to. You're wearing some shorts you bought the first year you played field hockey. At camp, just before the game started you were sitting on your bunk bed reading Dracula. Kind of pretending you couldn't hear the rest of the girls gossip, when all you wanted was to just open your mouth and- Pop Quiz: Name five extremely beautiful things you can say to join in the conversation. ...please Even if you can only think of three, you'll still pass... Get saved by the bell. The bell looking just sad enough that a girl you don't know will invite you to sit on her bed. Know that you'll never be friends with her but you'll learn how to make gummy worms and vodka, and that's not nothing. In 2015 I am twenty years old and I go to a phat ass school that costs phat ass money and I haven't played field hockey in years now and I know now that absolutely none of that matters because this is not a fucking epilogue and I am not the John Hughes heroine. Yesterday I hopped around a playground with friends who are themselves nice but fucking strange and also beautiful, and I pretended I was a driver in Mad Max. Dear Fourteen Year Old Me, there is nothing I can say that will help you. - BS