romanticizemymind

[romanticizemymind]

F. Scott Fitzgerald / Flappers and Philosophers

[romanticizemymind]

Sometimes i like to pretend that you were more to me than i was to myself but perhaps ill be happier there than here but the grass always looks greener on the other side and im content being on this side leaving you on the other side. I dont intend to burn the bridge between us because in some other life maybe i won't be selfish and you wont be so stifling and we might meet in the middle.

[romanticizemymind]

About the guy that hurt me and the reason behind all my original posts cause this got v stupid.

So i met this guy on bumble and we hit it off straight away. We were talking constantly and we never ran out of things to say. We then decided go on a date and i remember we went to nandos and i dropped my fork three times. Our conversation was pretty good, we were having laugh. We then walked around central london and we went to a book shop (foyles) and we looked through random books and it was great fun. We then hugged and said our good byes and left the other way. We kept having conversations and just enjoying each other's company. We went on various other dates and he tried to kiss me but i fully dodged it... i think it was after junglebook. We also went to a garden centre in canary wharf and we were on our way to making it official and we did. He kissed me at hyde park and things were fantastic because we were now fully dating and it was weird and all but hey ho. We also went on the boat in hyde park. Then he put an ultimatum of sex and i wasnt into that shit so i shut him down. I wish i just broke up with him then and there but i didnt and i completely regret that decision to this day. We watched movies together (moana, jungle book, finding dory, samara 2, ouija etc) and we spend a lot of time at selfridges and harrods and we were two messy people. He would argue that he isnt messy but i whole heartedly disagree cause he was a complicated character. Anyways he then began to ignore me and have very long study sessions with his female friend at her flat. This just didnt sit well with me for various reason but ultimately i felt insecure in the relationship. I felt like hr would leave at any given moment and that completely terrified me. We would have really lovely sweet conversations and then wr would really awful arguments. It was never an in between. I loved him at that point and i told him and this was mistake number 106 probably because he liked me perhaps but he definitely didnt like me enough or he was confused but either way he replied that he loved me too but i never expected it so i was expecting him to turn around and say yo mate i lied but he didnt. Even at the end i had to pry it out of him. Towards the end i felt like i was stringing an unwilling man along but i managed to be happy for some completely deranged reason and then he broke up with me and after that i was a mess. I was an absolute blubbering mess and i was constantly feelinf so doubtful and awful of myself and during this time a lovely amazing guy came along and my heart couldnt even turn to look at him. This new guy had every quality that a good boyfriend would have give or take a fww but i couldnt like him. It was shitty and bog standard awful. I honestly wanted it to work but i jusf could bring myself because i was still confused. After a bit of time of deliberating and such i pulled myself togerher and decided to stoo chasing men and start chasing myself brcaude clearly i need to. Its really difficult to no care about these peopme because they meant so much to me but at the end out it they have everything while i have to work for everything i have so they will fine but i need to be fine for myself now. I need to do this life for myself now because this running around men thing is absolutely excrutiatingly tiring.l cant be bothered anymore.

[romanticizemymind]

dear sweet heart, I started pretending that you died but you are alive probably with someone else fucking each other till you can’t breathe and she makes you smile and she makes you happy and she’s not me, she will never be me and i could write on and on about how much I love you but I love you and I don’t think I should expand on that. I pretended you died and made up a funeral in my head and you died and I cried and that was that. You ended as suddenly as you began and you’re a story that I don’t want to put down but pretending your death, I managed to close it midway with a bookmark in the middle with empty pages still left to fill. Your death is the only thing that stopped my greedy heart from texting you every second of the day. I probably annoy you and you probably hate me and I can’t think of one reason why you might but god help me, I tried the best. but you deserve the best and so do I so farewell my love. I hope the next girl that comes along doesn’t lose herself the way I did. I hope the next girl has enough guts and fire to make you stay and I hope she interests you and you have everything in common so you have endless conversations and your heart becomes full of her that you finally feel everything I felt and I hope she stays to return it all to you with the same fever. 

[romanticizemymind]

It wasn't the way you smiled or the way you laughed. It was the way you existed. The way you made me feel insane and sane all at the same time and normal people might call this torture but I called it love.

[romanticizemymind]

Why do I feel pleasure in breaking my heart repeatedly over a boy that no longer can be mine.

[romanticizemymind]

[romanticizemymind]

ALCOHOL MAY NOT SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS. BUT NEITHER WILL WATER OR MILK

Teen (via menpale)

[romanticizemymind]

More quotes here

[romanticizemymind]

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to. Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small. You never need to carry more than you can hold. And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to. I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too. Yeah, this, is my wish.

[romanticizemymind]

If someone is worthy of you, they’ll never give up on you, even if you’re making it impossible.

Emmerson Grin (via written-in-pen)

[romanticizemymind]

She always did have a way with words. Or rather, her words always did have a way with me.

whatifgodisacat (via wnq-writers)

[romanticizemymind]

You don’t forget relationships. But you leave it in the past, behind you and move forward.

[romanticizemymind]

You were more present in my absence.

[romanticizemymind]

You were a spectator to my spectacle and I showed the world in hd but you blurred me out with your heat.

S

[romanticizemymind]

Sorry for loving you when I didn't love myself

S

[romanticizemymind]

I loved you more in your absence more than your presence.

S