rocksolidnarwhal

[rocksolidnarwhal]

oh and when i was a year old, after i got my foot amputated my parents were pushing me around in a stroller at a street festival in miami and i was chewing on my foot or whatever and this street performer came up to us and was like “aw i bet that tastes good!!” and my dad was like “yeah look at what she did to the other one!!!!” and pulled back the blanket covering my left leg to show a stump with a huge scar on it and i’m pretty sure my dad terrified that poor man

[rocksolidnarwhal]

I am in tears laughing. my sister sold her couch on marketplace and accidentally gave them her cat too

[rocksolidnarwhal]

My mom left an eviction notice for the carpenter bees burrowing into our porch

[rocksolidnarwhal]

Welcome

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I love when a meme gets so many steps away from its source material that it would be completely incomprehensible if I didn't know what today's date was

[rocksolidnarwhal]

Did you know

If you perform action Harmlessly Bother Cat you can receive Sounds

[rocksolidnarwhal]

[rocksolidnarwhal]

my favorite road sign is “falling rocks” like what am I supposed to do with that. what could I possibly do to avoid falling rocks while driving 70 miles per hour through an Appalachian ravine.

[rocksolidnarwhal]

"the world isn't kind" ok??? Much more importantly are you?????

[rocksolidnarwhal]

Dropped a small potato n started crying how’s everyone else doin tonight

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IM TOTALLY PRETENDING TO BE NORMAL RIGHT NOW

[rocksolidnarwhal]

of all the possible references to pop up this was not one that i was expecting

[rocksolidnarwhal]