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So you want to talk dirty but you have no clue what to say?
Dirty talk is an awesome way to explore your fantasies in a safe environment, but it can also be a daunting task if youâre not used to expressing your sexuality in such an explicit way.
What do you say? How do you say it? And how do you know heâll like it?
Diclaimer: the following advice reflects our kinks and likes but the principles can be used for any fantasy you want to talk dirty about. Weâre very much into hotwifing both of us. Basically he enjoys to watch me being fucked by a hung guy. Heâs not into humiliation or being put down, but he do like to hear that another man can give me just as much pleasure as him, sometimes even more. For me, I enjoy walking that fine line where heâs a mix of horny and jealous. I want him to be horny thinking of me cumming over and over again, but I also love to know that it does sting a little bit when I tell him that a bigger dick can turn me into an obedient little slut and make me cum instantly.
Some safety rules.
First thing first. We donât want your dirty talk to turn into a stupid argument, so letâs get some safety rules down first.
⢠Talk about what he like and doesnât like beforehand. What Iâm writing in this post is based on our likes and kinks, and they are not universal guidelines. You should always talk to your husband and find out exactly what it is he would love to hear from you. Itâs important to keep this conversation non-sexual, so you get an honest answer, not a horny answer.
⢠What is said in dirty talk might not reflect real life. This goes both ways. Dirty talk is a great way to explore fantasies and boundaries, but not everything said when youâre raging horny is valid when youâre not. If something is said that surprises you, talk about it after. And remember, youâre going make him REALLY horny, so he might express fantasies or thoughts that is just that - fantasies and thoughts, and not necessarily something he wants to act on. In the same way you need to be clear about how youâre also just exploring your own fantasies as well as his, and might say something in the heat of the moment that you donât necessarily mean or want to act out in real life.
⢠This is dirty talk, not a lie detector test. Youâre allowed to exaggerate to increase his enjoyment, but I strongly advise you to reveal the truth after heâs had his orgasm so you wonât create a distorted image in his head.
What dirty talking is not
Dirty talking is not overthinking how to phrase the perfect sentence. In fact, once you start articulating your husbandâs fantasies, I guarantuee he will be so horny he couldnât care less how well you phrase it. Just the fact that youâre talking about his fantasies means that heâs too busy trying to keep his orgasm back to even care. Just relax and say something. Anything.
Donât rush it
The goal with dirty talking is of course to make your husband have an amazing orgasm, but do not rush it!
Iâll dare say that for your husband the process and the talk itself is way more exciting than his orgasm. So take your time and let him  enjoy and simmer in it.
Donât worry about repeating yourself
You might be thinking âbut I already told him that story 3 times, I canât think of something newâ. Donât worry about that, just tell it again. Trust me.
And nowâŚ. Without further ado here are my secret dirty talking methods thatâll make your husband lose his mind.
And then what
I find that the biggest obstacle in dirty talking is how to start it. That first thing you break the ice with. It can feel a bit awkward at first, but youâll quickly get the hang of it. Iâm a big fan of something I call the and then what technique. Basically you just start with a rather innocent question or statement and then evolve into the next natural thing that would happen. So you say something, and then pretend someone asks you âand then whatâ and then you answer that question.
So letâs pretend for a second youâre on top of your man, riding him cowgirl style and you want to spice it up a little.
Simply starting with a âyou like the way I fuck you?â Is enough to break that awkward ice. Heâll answer yes of course. And then what? âthen imagine how Mark (using names of actual guys you know works amazingly) would feel if I fucked him like thisâ
And then what?
âI would bounce up and down his cock just like this. Heâll get to feel how tight your wifeâs pussy isâ
And then what?
âthen I want him toâŚ.â
You get it.
Reliving the past
My husband is very much into hearing stories about guys I used to fuck so this one is his favorite type of dirty talk. The way it goes is when I give him a handjob, blowjob or even ride him, I would say something like âyou like the way I stroke your dick?â (asking if he likes it is always a great way to break the ice and initiate dirty talk without feeling awkward). This always gets me a very enthustiastic âYES!â to which I answer something like âthis is exactly how I used to stroke [name of guy I used to fuck]âs cockâŚâ (pause for dramatic effect) âexcept⌠His was a lot bigger than yoursâ. This line alone is usually enough to almost bring him over the edge, and if not itâs a great way to go into more details - how did it feel to stroke a much bigger dick, would you do it again, perhaps the guy used to get so horny that he would fuck you before you could finish the handjob, etc. Details, details, details, I canât stress it enough.
Fair warning: not everyone is into hearing about your past! Make sure your husband is into that before springing this on him.
The commentator
This one is super easy because you donât feel like youâre talking dirty, youâre just saying whatâs on your mind. So the way it works is to watch porn with your man and simply make comments about the movie paying. Particularly about the guy and what you like about him. Compliment his dick, go into details about what you like about him, think out loud like âI really wish I could get fucked like that one dayâ / âlook how big his dick is. He would make me cum so fast with thatâ
If youâve fucked someone who reminds you of the guy, by all means tell your husband about it. Watching a porn with a guy whoâs fucking some girl senseless and hearing your wife drop the bomb that the guy is the exact same size as some dude she dated in college is a sure way to make your husband look at the porn and all he will see is you being fucked right there on the screen. Very hot for both of you.
The yes ladder
This is a really simple but very effective technique that is easy for new dirty talkers and is guarantueed to drive him crazy.
In a nutshell what you do is ask him some questions that all leads to a yes. With each question the intensity in what youâre asking increases. Thereâs something crazy hot about this almost confessional way of talking dirty and being âforced to admitâ your deepest fantasies. This is a great way to get yourself going, and to test out boundaries.
Optional: let him know ahead of time that youâre going to ask him questions and if he says no just once, he donât get to cum. See what heâs willing to say yes to - just remember these are forced and horny yesses expressing what he likes in the heat of the moment. They donât necessarily count in real life.
Example of a yes ladder.
âyou like this huhâ
âwould you like it if i did this to another guy?â
âwould you let me pick any guy i want?â
âwhat if i want a guy whoâs bigger than you, would you allow that?â
âdo you want him to fuck me hard?â
âwhat if he makes me cum really hard, can you handle that?â
âwhat if he makes me scream out his name, can you still handle it?â
âcan I fuck him right here in our bed?â
âwould you allow me to fuck someone Iâve dated before?â
âeven if he really knows how to fuck me good?â
âwhat if I want him to fuck me while you wait in the other room, will you do that?â
You get it, just continue like this. Make the questions increasingly more provocative and test his boundaries, maybe even cross them if you know he can handle it.
The O-bomb
This method works extremely well if youâve been teasing and playing with him for a while, keeping him right on the edge and heâs SO close now that you can make him cum any second.
All there is to it is asking him âdo you want to cum?â heâll answer yes almost pleading. And thatâs when you drop the O-bomb. The O-bomb is some of the blue thought you put into his head and force him to cum to before he can even react.
For example: he just said yes he wants to cum. You then say âgood. I want you to cum while you think of me cumming all over (name)âs big dickâ and then you simply force him to cum before he even gets a chance to react. As heâs cumming you keep feeding him the thought over and over until heâs done. âyes, cum while you imagine how he makes me screamâ etc.
The story
My personal favorite. One thing is to talk about imaginary stuff that could maybe some day happen. Another is to talk about stuff that actually already happened simply by telling him a story about some incredible hot sex youâve had, either because the circumstances where hot, because the guy knew what he was doing and fucked your brains out or the guy happened to be seriously hung.
This is also super simple for you because you dont have to make anything up, you simply just tell what happened and describe the situation.
Donât worry about elaborate descriptions or anything. Trust me heâll ask you to elaborate when he hears something he likes. Just describe what happened and how it felt for you. Especially the âhow it feltâ part is very important.
The talk
Now in the safety rules i told you to talk about what he likes and dislikes without touching him so his arousal wonât reflect his answers. This time you do the exact opposite. Simply have a conversation about what he likes while slowly touching his dick. Thereâs something really hot about just talking while casually stroking him. And youâll be able to measure his response simply by the way his dick throbs, which is incredibly hot.
How to start it: just casually ask him a question about his likes and as he answers you slowly start touching him while asking him more questions.
The close your eyes and imagine
Sometimes it can be a lot easier if your husband canât see you when you talk dirty.
Example:
âclose your eyes. Do you like my hands on. Your dick? Now imagine i was doing this to another guy. Stroking his big dick just like this. I would be so turned on knowing it isnât you. My pussy would want to feel him inside me. Imagine how he would push me down and fuck me. Imagine how i would gasp when he starts to stretch me. How I would scream when he goes deeper than you.â
Do you see how the above also make use of the and then what technique to tell the next part of the story?
Putting it all together
Now, I know reading about it and actually doing it is two very different things. When youâre first starting out I actually advice you to plan out your dirty talking. This might not be as sexy and spontaneous, but while youâre still getting the hang of it itâs nice to be a little prepared so you donât run out of things to say. I would also advice you to start off doing it while giving a handjob, as you will have a much easier time focusing on what to say than if you were giving a blowjob or having sex.
Letâs break the ice with an innocent âdo you like the way it feels when I stroke your cock?â
When he says yes I would then say something like âgoodâŚ. Now close your eyesâ wait for him to do it.
Then: âwould you like it if I did this to another man?â - âyesâ
Then: âyou know, [name of ex / bull / fantasy guy] used to love when I stroked his dick. Of course his was a lot bigger than yours, I could barely close my hand around itâ
Then: âdo you like that, thinking about how I used to stroke his big cock?â - âyesâ
Then: âhaving that big cock in my hands always made me feel so tiny and hornyâ
Then: âdo you want me to show you how I used to suck him?â - âyesâ. Then put all your effort into giving the best head you have ever given.
Then: âmmh⌠Can you imagine how good his cock must have felt in my mouth? I used to suck him just like that until he came in my mouthâ.
By now he should be getting pretty close, so itâs time put on the finale. Ask him âdo you want to cum?â - âyesâ. Start stroking him faster.
âtell meâŚâ - make him say that he wants to cum.
âI want you to cum while you think of me getting fucked by [name]. He would always make me cum so hard. Imagine how I used to scream his nameâ - if you really want to go all out you could start moaning the name of this other guy, whether thatâs your bull, an old fling, your husbandâs friend or who ever you like to fantasize about.
Do you see how easy it flows from do you like it, to imagine itâs someone else, to describing how you used to do or would do it on someone else?
With time it will come naturally and you wonât have to plan ahead, but to begin with itâs nice to have an idea of how you want to start it, how you want to end it and how you bridge that gap.
There you have it. My secrets to driving your husband wild. Now go⌠Make him lose it.
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My favorite ways to put disobient girls in their place;
A firm slap followed by a stern âExcuse meâ?
Bending her over mid sentence for inspection. Itâs hard to sass when youâre exposed like that.
Grabbing a fistful of her hair, forcing her head up to meet my gaze, and saying âmind your mannersâ.
Pulling her over my lap for a quick, but hard spanking. It should be under 2 minutes, but intense enough to remind her it could go a *lot* longer.
Making her kneel beside you while youâre finishing something up. Stuffing her panties in her mouth and warning her not to drop them is an added bonus.
Cuffing her hands behind her then exposing her tits. Reminding her that sheâs eye candy needs to drop the attitude.
Yanking her pants to her knees, grabbing a tight hold of her neck, and marching her to the corner. Make her hold whatever position you prefer once sheâs there, but her struggling to keep up and the look on her face while you remind her whoâs in charge and what youâre going to do to her for misbehaving is perfect.
Making her strip naked for a spanking. Pull her over your lap, and make her sit there for a while before you actually begin. Spank her, make her get on her knees and apologize, then pull her back over your lap to finish the spanking. That keeps her off balance and submissive.
Grabbing her cheeks with one hand, forcing her mouth open, spitting inside it, closing her mouth, forcefully telling her to swallow, then sweetly asking âwhat were you sayingâ?
Lastly; Roughly pull her over your lap like youâre going to spank her, but donât. Instead, play with her pretty little pussy. Edge her. Get her close to orgasm, then put her on her knees. Inform her that only good girls get to cum, and sense she canât behave, she doesnât get to cum. Use her mouth for the rest of the night, whenever you want. Sheâll be soaked, with only the promise that maybe in the morning, youâll let her her. That attitude fixes itself, every time.
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