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Have you ever watched Marvellous Mrs Maisel and thought it was funny and exciting?

Then you're relationship fell apart and other parts of your life fell apart and thought... yeah... this is definitely less glamorous and funny than the show?

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Felt awful. Didn't feel like going to the gym. Decided not to go.

Was scrolling through Instagram reels. Someone's reel was about 'going to the gym when you don't feel like it is self-love', it's showing up for yourself despite not feeling like it. So I got up and went to the gym.

At the gym managed to do something that I found too difficult before. Really enjoyed my time there.

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Today at therapy session I was crying and telling a story about my dad telling me off for peeling 2 layers off an onion - despite never in his life making any meal ever to his 4 kids and wife, never peeling an onion.

The therapist said something along the lines of my dad not saying 'Thank you for doing this'.

The idea of my dad thanking me for anyhting, not just expecting to be his maid/slave was so outrageous I ended up laughing out loud whilst crying...

... like, yeah right, good one haha, that hilarious.

Now I'm just sitting here thinking about this.

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I need a similar answer when people ask how I am doing, because bursting into tears every timee makes it difficult to go to work.

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Have you ever looked at art and cried because you found it so beatiful?

Certain theater shows get me going.

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Do you ever wake up and just want to scream? Can't even begin to understand your feelings and thoughts... just want to scream...

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Realized my brother still doesn't believe hoe deeply our parents affected and are affecting us.

It feels he just continues their narrative that I'm the problem.

So sad.

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I think I'm going to have to write down every day or a few times a week my main thoughts and issues

and will try and keep them in check, such as:

remind myself of the bigger picture and decide what I'm going to be working on what I am going to let go.

What's worth a fight, what's worth changing, what is better off being let go?

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The feeling of being able to laugh out loud at a movie that is showing a caricature of the toxic parts of your culture instead of getting triggered by it.

This is a new one.

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One thing at a time.

Buy breath in, let it out.

One thing at a time.

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😁Had 2 message today in here.

😑Both were spamming me with some pages to get laid.

😄Jokes on them, I'm not even a little bit horny today.

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I'm getting so fit my Fitbit noticed. Oh Yeah 😎