robotabc773

[robotabc773]

Man I got fucking HOT I love being transgender

[robotabc773]

Hey, casual reminder you're lovely and I love seeing you around. Thanks for what you do!

Thank you so much nonny ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[robotabc773]

good morning, kings! let's push this boulder!

good morning kings let’s push this boulder

[robotabc773]

people often say to me, “wow, your hair is so luscious and your face is so striking, and you are so charming and witty: please, tell us, how can we be like you?” and to them i say, “you must carve your own path.” but it’s just because i am deeply selfish and also lazy

[robotabc773]

mr beast: i BRANDED eight BILLION people with MY MARK

[robotabc773]

i love when a cat looks up and its head is a funny shape

[robotabc773]

My Wife: babe I think my dad might be autistic

Me: your face-blind, emotionally oblivious, picky eater of a father, who has numerous niche interests and the best-organized fly-tackle-box I have ever seen, might be autistic?

My Wife: you knew?

Me: you didn’t?

My Wife: babe I’m not ok I’m having a whole-

Me: you can hear the TVs, babe.

My Wife: What

Me, pointing at the special no-flicker lighting I installed in our house so that we never actually have to have the Big Overhead Light on: babe!

My Wife: … oh my god am I autistic?

Me:

My Wife:

Me: you didn’t know!?

My Wife: YOU DID!?

[robotabc773]

Woah woah woah okay I just noticed something about YouTube and idk if it's old news but I just noticed it, it seems new, and it explains a lot, one sec need a screenshot

[robotabc773]

I'm up past my bedtime. I'm doing this because I'm evil >:)

[robotabc773]

My roommate (the one who hates septum piercings so much they make her gag) thinks my art is the most disgusting and ugly shit on the planet, and every time I announce that I've sold a piece or gotten into a show, she makes the kind of facial expression you'd expect of someone eating chili at a live autopsy and says, "I'm glad you're having fun! :)"

[robotabc773]

[robotabc773]

sorry

[robotabc773]

[robotabc773]

Me to my wife: I can't complain about anyone else's jokes. People who live in glass stones shouldn't detonate nuclear weapons

Wife: uhhhh

Me: I SAID THAT SENTENCE ENTIRELY CORRECTLY!

[robotabc773]

Reminder

Somewhere out there is a person with your name, except it’s spelled with a “y” and they just can’t figure out why you don’t spell your name right.

[robotabc773]

oh dang, it's gonna take them even longer to get home in that

[Image description a news screenshot reading "Physicists make tiny model of Star Trek's USS Voyager that's smaller than a human hair"]

[robotabc773]

broke: this meeting could have been an email

woke: this short haul flight could have been a train