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Regulus Black likes trying to convince people to not bring umbrellas/rain jackets when it’s clearly going to rain because it’s funny when they get soaking wet. James has fallen for this like 12 times and gets very upset every time

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I honestly though this was just something that Sirius did in that one amazing Great British Bake Off AU…

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Regulus: *Actively trying to ruin James’ life*

James: *kinda into that*

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Regulus reads the ransom letter over French toast. There’s a half-grapefruit waiting for him, a cup of aromatic coffee, and a pot of Darjeeling. By all accounts, it’s the perfect breakfast.

Dear Lady Black, the letter reads, in a cursive written by someone who can’t write in cursive, I am sorry to say I have abducted your son, Master Regulus Black. Don’t worry, he is perfectly safe and will remain so, however if you would like to… the letter continues in such a manner. Even Regulus isn’t sure if he’d been kidnapped (sorry, abducted), or if he has simply popped out for a day with an old friend. There is only a vague mention of ransom – never mind the amount – and the man had signed with his full name.

“James Potter?”

“Yes?” the man – James – responds. Perks up.

“That’s really your name? And you put it in the letter?”

“Seemed the polite thing to do.”

“Are you dumb?”

James looks somewhere between affronted and amused. Not how people usually answer to being insulted.

Regulus twirls the fork in his fingers, and it turns into a rather smart – albeit still silver – quill. He’s always been adept at transfiguration. James snags on the movement, takes in a sharp breath. A click of fingers and the parchment turns blank.

To Her Excellence Lady Black, Regulus writes, using his non-dominant hand to obscure his handwriting. The words are rendered in a non-recognisable, but still stunning cursive.

As you are by now no doubt aware, your son Master Regulus Black has been kidnapped. At present he is safe and well. Please see attached a lock of his hair as confirmation.

No physical harm shall befall him, provided you follow the instructions I give you. Should you not, his death will not be swift.

Do not, for any reason, attempt to communicate with the Auror department or any private agency.

Before end of the week, secure 20 thousand galleons in old currency.

The galleons must be placed in a large cigar box, securely closed and wrapped in white paper. Remain at home and alert until midnight on Saturday and await further instructions.

Regulus signs the letter with an unreadable squiggle in place of a name, then twirls the silver quill around his fingers – it turns into a sharp, simple dagger. He cuts off a lock of his hair from behind an ear, where the disruption won’t be visible. Vanity, as always, present.

James stares dumbly as Regulus hands him the hair.

“Secure it and put it in the envelope with the letter.”

“Why?”

“She can see my magical signature in it. Will know that I’m alive and you’re not just trying to extort money for a corpse.”

“Huh,” James looks struck with something. “Clever. Never knew you could do that.” He takes the letter and reads through it, promptly choking on his tea. “20 thousand? Are you insane?”

Regulus doesn’t respond. Changes the dagger back into a fork (and James’ eyes get stuck on that, again), and goes back to his breakfast.

“That’s way too much money.”

“And how much were you going to ask for?”

“I don’t know. Five hundred?”

“Five… five hundred? That’s just insulting. Are you trying to be insulting?”

“What?”

“You think I’m worth five hundred galleons? The heir of the House of Back? Five hundred?”

Regulus is furious. Not only has he been kidnapped (abducted) by a moron: the moron thinks him worthless.

“Five hundred galleons is a lot of money.”

“Sure. If you’re poor,” Regulus argues, “you want five hundred? Here,” he takes the cheapest ring off his fingers and drops it on the table in front of James, “this is worth about double, pawn it and keep the change.”

James twirls the ring around his fingers. “Very pretty,” he smiles, slipping it on, rubbing the little leaf motif engraved in the silver, “you walk around with thousands worth of jewellery on you? Surprised nobody kidnapped you before.”

“I thought I was abducted.”

James looks downright delighted by the answer.

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Ao3 functions that would slap:

1. Or function (not every fic tags the same so like being able to say at least one of these tags needs to be there would be super helpful)

2. Primary relationship(s) vs background relationships (so that people can find main ship fics or ships that are usually in the background)

3. The ability to see a full list of relationship tags for the filter (or at least a larger one)

4. Add a permanent marker if your account has opened the link of a fic (or maybe a setting to turn this on or off if someone wants more privacy)

5. A better search bar

6. Maybe a list of a few fics that people who left kudos on one fic also frequently leave kudos on

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Another day another fic where regulus black is dead

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@fiddleleafedfig just wrote one of the best wolfstar fics I’ve ever read. I’m gagged- this fic needs so much more attention

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HEAR ME OUT

You know the scene in deathly hallows where hermione and harry do the sad platonic dance and it’s beautiful and intimate and just so wonderfully sad right?

that same scene but it’s James turning on the radio during the summer post-prank but pre-forgiveness as he gets Remus up to dance a few hours before the full moon. Just a beautiful platonic dance but the intimacy is still deep and loving, James just craving that little crooked smile Remus does right before he laughs and Remus just desperate for a moment of love that doesn’t require Sirius.

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The idea of The Nanny x Wolfstar AU just occurred to me and I must have it. Like can you imagine a Fran Fine Sirius Black

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This is so lovely

-But you do smell especially like flowers today -I took a shower.

yay, first Jegulus fanart ever (and my first fanart in YEARS). This was supposed to be a Florist!Regulus and TattooArtist!James but I forgot to draw his tatoos so it's just florist regulus. ദ്ദി •⩊• )

I didn't realize how small the speech bubbles were but this took me A WEEK and there's more jegulus fanart waiting to be drawn so, zoom it.

Anyway, hi.

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Dorlene Baseball Au

In like the 70’s Marlene is a prodigy baseball player but because of sexism, she wouldn’t be able to play in any real leagues so she pretends to be a dude and makes it into the major leagues. No one knows she’s a girl except in the lesbian community where she pulls heavily.

Dorcas is this really hot sports reporter who all the other baseball players try to flirt with but she never gives them the time of day (because she’s super gay). But then she starts being seen with Marlene and they’re obviously dating and all of Marlene’s teammates are like “how the fuck did you get her to go out with you” and Marlene just shrugs and says “idk I’ve got mega game” and she does.

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little wolfstar doodle for the soul

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A snippet of it helps

Hi- please read my new one shot. I’m actually very pleased with how it turned out and I think you all would enjoy it. (It’s wolfstar)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63012445#main

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I think Spotify is catching on…

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Some dead doves are deader than others

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Petition for fics to stop killing off Regulus randomly. I know you want it for plot but I hate it. Especially if it’s an AU!!

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oh god one day im gonna get married and ill have to tell my spouse that YES its the happiest moment of my life, but also its alongside the entirety of the moments that i spent reading the cadence of part time poets……….