riverdrowning
i love men
220 posts
he/they/she • 18 i don’t know how to stfu
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riverdrowning · 19 hours ago
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thank you hotels.com
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riverdrowning · 2 days ago
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angus tully edited to clairo is like a drug to me.
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riverdrowning · 3 days ago
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i love college i love asking literally every single person i meet if they’ve seen the holdovers and then immediately showing it to them when they say no
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riverdrowning · 4 days ago
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absent jealousy | angus tully x reader
a/n: writing this while watching diary of wimpy kid hell yeah. thank you to @xfrankiesmithx-blog for requesting!!!!!! i hope this is what you wanted because i think i got carried away lol. i am too much of a sucker for casual angst and scene building.
s: your relationship with angus is anything but serious, until jealousy forces you both to face reality.
w: cursing, suggestiveness, angst (absent parent)
wc: 3k.
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Winter break was supposed to be a time to relax. A time to have fun. And maybe, just maybe, a time to tolerate family. My plans were simple. My days were going to be spent on the Florida beaches with piña coladas and poolside napping. This was a yearly tradition since the 6th grade.
Unfortunately, those hot and sandy dreams were crushed when my dad phoned me at Wickline Academy.
"What the fuck, dad?" I slammed my hand onto the wall beside the telephone.
"Language!" He huffed from the other end. A crackly sigh could be heard. "Listen, we just can't afford it. We need the money to keep you enrolled next semester."
My eyes watered. I blinked rapidly to prevent any tears from spilling out.
"I'm sorry, honey." My dad spoke with sorrow. "Money is tight ever since-. . . your mom. . ."
The call went silent.
It had been 3 months and he still couldn't say it. It was embarrassing for both of us to admit.
Left us. Since she disappeared off the face of the earth with my dad's wallet and my allowance. For the last 3 months, anger has just been festering within me like a cauldron of rage.
Now, I had to spend Christmas alone. If that wasn't already bad enough, it turned out the entirety of Wickline had to be fumigated due to a nasty roach problem. This landed every holdover from Wickline into the lion's den that is Barton.
Hunham stood in front of all 9 of us. 5 boys from Barton and 4 girls from Wickline. Much to my surprise, he was there.
Angus Tully.
We had met 2 years ago at a winter fundraiser. I had been serving drinks for the patrons when Angus waltzed over. From then on, the nature of our relationship was afflicted by our teenage hormones. Every time we saw each other it was a display of lingering eye contact and flirty comments. I never knew if he was serious.
"There will be no fornication, no hanky-panky, no coupling. So help me god, if any of you even stand one inch too close I will make you sleep in the snow." Hunham's voice boomed. He leaned forward, scooching a girl and a boy away from each other.
Angus and I locked eyes for a moment. He furrowed his brows for a second, as if he was confused at my presence. Then he smirked.
"Now, it is time to fuel your young brains with knowledge!"
A chorus of groans erupted from us.
We sat separated. Boys on one side of the study room, girls on the other. Hunham sat in the corner overlooking all of us. A lack of interest fogged all of our minds. Everyone was kind of just looking at their books instead of actually reading.
I glanced up. From across the room, a boy with long dirty blond hair waved at me. I think his name was Jason. He was pretty cute. I waved back, a small smile playing on my lips.
A curly-headed Angus turned around, head snapping between me and Jason. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.
Later on, we got to spend some time away from studying. We had all grouped together, walking through the snowy woods. Two of the other girls had cozied up next to Kountz. I was collecting fallen pinecones from the ground.
"What brings you here? Kingdom banished their princess?" A voice chuckled from behind. My head flicked around. Angus leaned against a tree, wielding a branch as a sword.
I scoffed, walking up to him. He gazed down at me in amusement. A grin covered his face. A grin that royally pissed me off. I shouldn't have taken it so seriously; but the rage inside of me, which was previously set to simmer, was now boiling; and Angus Tully was stirring the pot.
"I could ask the same about you, asshole. Did your family wish upon a star for you to go away?" I spat. His amusement shrunk, turning into a nasty frown.
"Hey, guys."
The both of us turned around, facing a chirpy and oblivious Jason. He flashed a smile at me.
"Hi!" I shoved Angus with my shoulder as I trudged through the snow to the jock. "Jason, is it?"
From behind, in a small mocking tone, Angus whispered, "Jason, is it?" He didn't know when to stop, did he?
"Do you want to play football with me?" Jason patted the ball in his hand, handing it out to me.
"Sure!" I nodded excitedly.
"Do you even know how to play?" Angus muttered. He had a permanent sour scowl on his face.
"You don't have to project your inabilities, Tully." I flashed a fake smile. "Or, would you like to join us?"
He crossed his arms. His nose was red, making him look like an extremely unhappy Rudolph.
"I'm fine." He mumbled, turning his back to us and walking over to the younger boys.
Needless to say, I was confused. We would have playful fights, yeah. But, this wasn't playful at all. I almost felt bad for him. Jealous, much?
We weren't official. I wasn't even sure if he knew we had a thing going on. Either way, it just wasn't time for anything serious. Jason was sweet and dumb enough for a quick dose of validation.
For the rest of the time spent outside, Jason and I passed the football around. He was fun and extremely hot. I mean, he was the type of attractive that turned Wickline Academy into a slip n' slide. But other than that, we had nothing in common. He was this flamboyant display of brawn and I found spelling bees fun. Every so often, I'd catch Angus staring at us from the other side of the courtyard.
Soon enough, Hunham called everyone in for dinner. We were actually allowed to sit beside each other. It felt like an awkward family dinner. Except we weren't family. So, it was more awkward.
Jason was already sat, so I decided to take my opportunity and sit beside him. He was chatting it up with one of the other Wickline girls. I huffed, slouching in my seat.
"Is this seat taken?" A familiar deep voice spoke from my left. Oh, great.
Angus hunched down, pulling the chair out and sitting himself down. He had a mischievous smirk plastered on his face. He leaned close to me, an uninterested look on his face. I could feel his breath on my cheek.
"What's wrong, princess?" He licked his chapped lips.
"You're here. I'd rather have a block of coal." I grunted.
Angus narrowed his eyes at me, before fluttering his lashes. He held his hand to his heart, "You flatter me."
I stuck my tongue out at him, toying with the napkin in front of me.
"So, Jason? Really?" He whispered inconspicuously. Mary set plates on the table, earning a small 'thank you' from him. "Didn't know you could stoop so low."
"I liked you, didn't I."
"Liked?"
His brows raised, a shocked expression on his face. All his wittiness had vanished in the blip of a moment. He averted his gaze to his plate of food. His curls hung over his face.
Of course, I didn't mean that. But he didn't know that.
I opened my mouth to speak, but at that point Hunham slammed the table for something Kountz had said.
For the rest of the dinner I kept my eye on him, he would poke and nudge his food with his fork but never actually take a bite. We didn't talk for the rest of the day.
The following morning everyone joined Jason on his family trip. My dad wasn't too keen on the idea of me spending an entire holiday with boys.
In the end, it was me and Tully. It was weird between us. The days were quiet. There were many times that I tried to apologize, but he would always run off or turn away every moment I tried.
I was sat in the kitchen with Mary Lamb, helping her bake brownies for a Christmas party. I mixed the dry ingredients, gritting my teeth as I thought about everything. It felt like my world was crumbling.
"You alright there, sweetie?" Mary questioned. She was cutting potatoes for the next day's dinner.
I groaned.
"Everything sucks. This wasn't where I planned to be. I didn't plan to be here today or to be in this stupid black hole that my life is." I whisked angrily. Some of the mixture spilled over the side of the bowl.
"Some of this gotta' do with that Tully boy?" She whistled. "I've seen the way y'all act."
I blushed slightly, "Yeah. I guess-. . . I said something i didn't mean. But, I don't get why he's so upset. We don't have anything real going on between us."
"Do you want something real?" Mary put down her knife. I poured the mix into a pan.
Do I want something real with Angus? In the last two years, I hardly learned much about him. We had covered up any real connection under flashy and casually insulting romance.
What had I learned about him? He is Angus. He's a pinch too loud in a quiet room. He walks like a newborn giraffe. He manages to piss everyone off in a 2 mile radius.
But with every taunt and quip he'd deliver, there was that toothy grin accompanying it. There were small moments where he would help the underclassmen with their assignments; and he always found time to find me.
I hadn't even given him a chance of thought. Dread filled my heart, overflowing into my veins like a dam had just broke.
"Would he even want anything?" I leaned on the palm of my hand, glancing outside the window. The snowfall landed softly on the windowsill. It reminded me of the first time he walked up to me.
.
.
.
"Is there any alcohol in this?" A boy with shaggy brown hair pointed. His pants were too short, as if he had just had a growth spurt overnight.
"Does fruit punch fuel your system?" I offered a cup. My nails were coated with pastel polish.
"I'm more of an apple juice kinda guy." He tugged on his loose tie. "I'm Angus."
"I'm Y/N".
"Do you wanna smoke a cigarette behind the bleachers?" The kid asked.
"I don't have a jacket." We looked outside the window. It was evening. The snowfall was heavy. We could hardly see past the courtyard.
"Take mine." He shrugged his jacket off, holding it in his trembling hands. His brown eyes were completely widened in awe. I took the jacket from his grasp, putting it on.
"Thanks Angus!" I chirped. "Come on, before they notice we're gone."
I grabbed his hand, interlocking our fingers. His hands were cold and clammy. But, funnily enough, so were mine. We ran outside, hiding under the bleachers as we joked about our classmates.
.
.
.
"Baby, all I know is he's going through as much as you are right now. You'll never know unless you try."
Mary's voice lingered in my head as I got dressed for the party. She was right. I had lost so much control in the last 3 months of my life. I was not going to let this pass me by. I was going to spite my way into Angus's heart.
In the car, Angus fought to sit in the passenger seat. Ultimately, Mary glared at him with such authority he cowered and clamored into the backseat with me. Instantly, he folded his arms and turned to look out the window.
Okay, this is fine? This is fine. I'll just sneak him aside at the party and fix this. I didn't want Hunham and Mary awkwardly listening in while I confessed my undying admiration for him.
We were greeted at the door by Miss Crane. She welcomed us happily. I looked around. This place was packed. Christmas music flew around the house like a jolly paper airplane.
"Y/N, can you take these to the kitchen please?" Miss Crane gave me the brownies we had baked. I glanced at Angus, who already looked out of place.
"Sure!" My lips pressed together into a thin line. I hurried over, having to pause for houseguests to step aside and move out of the way. This place was a goddamn maze. My forearms grew sore as I searched aimlessly. Then, like a glowing light at the end of the tunnel, I saw the kitchen. I practically threw the platter onto the counter.
When I returned back to the door, everyone was gone. How hard could it be to find a 6-foot tall teenager? I scooched and muttered 'excuse me' way too many times to count. After some asking around, I had made my way to the basement.
There were kids coloring and gluing crafts on a big round table. Others run around with plastic wands and swords. I was nearly stabbed by one of the children. Then I saw something I wish I didn't have to see.
Angus and a brunette locked lips in a corner of the basement. I completely and utterly froze. The dread that had consumed me earlier had solidified and left me still like a heartbroken fossil. They leaned away, and the girl caught my eye.
"Oh, hello! I'll be right with you!" She chirped. She had a blush on her face. My blood boiled. Angus's head whipped around. His eyes widened. He analyzed my face for any sign of a reaction. I closed my eyes and took a composing breath. I whipped around, stepping back up the stairs.
"Y/N! Give me one second." His steps boomed up the stairs behind me. "Come on, slow down."
I stepped out into the cold night. I tried to slam the front door behind me, but Angus shoved his foot between the gap.
"Ow. Really?" He mumbled. He grabbed my arms and stopped me in my tracks. "Y/N. Please."
I kept my back to him. I couldn't look at him. Would his face have that same blush she had? Would his lips be pink? Would he look happy? He sighed, jogging in front of me. He towered over me, a concerned look on his face. He looked almost devastated.
"What's wrong?" He mumbled.
"What's wrong?" I repeated, raising my voice. "You were sucking the life force out of that girl!"
"You're overreacting." He flung his arms in the air. Angus chewed on his lip anxiously. "Plus, last time I checked, why should you care? You were getting real cozy with Jason."
"That wasn't anything." I scoffed.
"Were we anything?" He whispered. His eyes had reddened, tears threatening to stream out.
"What?"
"You said you liked me." Angus whimpered. "What happened? Did I do something?"
"No." I blurted. "You did nothing. I-. . . I was just angry, Angus. I didn't mean that."
He stayed silent. The snow got caught on his curls. He looked more gorgeous than ever. It felt like we had snuck out to the bleachers all over again. Fuck it.
"Jesus, Angus. We have to stop being complete fucking idiots." I covered my face and groaned into my hands. "It's not a surprise that I like you. You think I would still be talking to you after 2 years if I didn't absolutely fucking adore you? I'm angry that everyone else is leaving me and I don't want you to either. I don't want you to disappear. I need you. I've needed you ever since we smoked together for the first time. I was just too fucking dumb to realize it. I need you to realize it too. I need you to realize Jason has nothing to offer me. "
His eyebrows raised slowly. I stared at him with wide eyes as I caught my breath.
"Was that weird? I'm sorry if-"
Angus cut me off by crashing his lips into mine. He had cold lips, but the feeling it gave me sent warmth throughout my body. His arms wrapped around my waist as we stumbled backwards. My back thudded against a wall as Angus pushed closer against me. I tangled my fingers into his hair, pulling the strands of hair slightly for any sense of stimulation. His chest pressed against mine and I could hardly breathe. But neither of us pulled away. He pushed his tongue into my mouth with fervor. Little grunts escaped his lips.
The slam of the front door pushed us away from each other. A guest waved goodbye to whoever was on the porch, oblivious to our raunchy escapade. Our gazes flicked back to each other. We both had that 'deer in headlights' look. The two of us burst into laughter. Angus threw his head back cackling.
"Seems like you had a practice." I remarked.
"Shut up."
"Too soon?" I grimaced. He nodded. His hands traveled up to my face, caressing my cheeks. His fingers were crusted over with a green pigment. "Why the fuck are your fingers covered in paint?"
"Oh shit, sorry. Fingerpainting." Angus pulled his hands back, stuffing them into his pockets. His lips were red and slightly wet.
"I have one question." I prodded.
"Hm?"
"Do you like me?"
Angus rolled his eyes, "I just sucked the complete life force out of you. When are you gonna stop being a complete idiot and realize I like you?"
"Touché." I smiled. A heartwarming smile covered his face. He leaned forward, planting a small peck on my forehead, before resting his chin on my head.
I wrapped my arms around his torso. Once again, that familiar memory popped into my head. I felt the same warmth from 2 years ago. This time it wasn't a cigarette. It was Angus. And suddenly it all felt worth it. Every bit of anger. Every bit of sass. Every bit of jealousy.
"So, are you gonna kiss me some more or do I need to get you a brain for Christmas, scarecrow?"
"So needy, princess."
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riverdrowning · 4 days ago
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i see him everywhere…
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riverdrowning · 6 days ago
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QUICK WHAT DO YOU THINK ANGUS’ MIDDLE NAME IS
thomas. immediately it’s thomas. that’s his dads name like UGH. and it makes it so much more heartbreaking to think about angus’ fear of ending up like his father. it’s a weird kind of prophecy, living up to the name.
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riverdrowning · 7 days ago
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one sec i’m trying to spell gourjus
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riverdrowning · 8 days ago
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WHY IS DOM ALWAYS LURKING IN PEOPLES STORIES!!!!! DAMN BITCH😭😭😭 get OFF YOUR PHONE
- @sessalover 😁😁
screenager if there ever was one
actually though he’s ALWAYS on instagram and he’s never posting like if you’re gonna take a walk through the park at least stop to feed the ducks.
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riverdrowning · 8 days ago
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😮
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riverdrowning · 9 days ago
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dom drawing… again…
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riverdrowning · 10 days ago
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tis the season to write some fanfic
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riverdrowning · 11 days ago
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he’s such a dork (i need him expeditiously)
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riverdrowning · 12 days ago
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My balls itch 😘🙈
itch yo balls then
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riverdrowning · 13 days ago
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hey so it’s holdovers season… why am i not seeing more angus tully x reader on my feed.
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riverdrowning · 15 days ago
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dominic sessa i think.
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riverdrowning · 16 days ago
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i hate it when i open tiktok and look up dominic sessa edits and then literally every single post is already liked.
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riverdrowning · 17 days ago
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RAHHHHHH RAHHH I LOVE IT RAHHH THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY
What is History? | The Holdovers
a/n: first imagine in years. but i saw a really cool post by @riverdrowning, so thank you for posting; it gave me that push i needed! it is relatively short... but hey! if anyone has any requests, i would LOVE to take them!
s: Everything after the credits; where Angus remembers Hunham.
w: cursing
wc: 1,148
x.
'Barton man.'
The last words Paul Hunham said echoed in Angus Tully's brain for a couple of days. If somebody told him a few weeks earlier, that he would be sad at the Hunham-sized void at the front of the class, he would've laughed so hard he'd have to go back to the emergency room.
It was complicated. Paul Hunham was not his idol. Far from it, actually. He was an alcoholic with a lazy eye; a person that only exists in cartoons. But he's the only person who's ever believed in him so much, that he started to believe in himself. He felt seen. When he looked in the mirror, he saw a sliver of what Hunham might've seen.
In addition to his identity crisis, he was angry. He spent more than 2 weeks with Hunham. Most of that was spent overcoming seasonal pent-up rage. He just uncovered the less smelly, vulgar, badass side of Hunham; and now he's leaving? He's leaving Angus, alone, at Barton. Not only that, but he had to deal with the outrageous rumors his classmates made.
Every misinterpreted word made him clench his fists. Kountz had to have constantly been 2 feet away from a gnarly sucker punch.
However, he gritted his teeth.
'You never give up, do you?'
He wasn't going to throw all this away after someone had lost their job for him. So for the next year and a half, he kept to himself. Of course, he'd still mouth everyone off, but it just wasn't the same. He'd learned something he still couldn't comprehend. So, he studied hard. He learned to stifle himself. He wasn't upset when his mom would forget him to go on her last minute escapades. He would spend his final winter break at Barton Academy, accompanying Mary once again.
It was a lonely senior year. Hunham was still a lingering thought. He'd always wondered where he was, a year later. Angus considered keeping in touch, but it probably would've caused more trouble. It would've been weird anyways.
He graduated apart of the class of '72. His mom and now step-father Stanley attended, which was a relief he wished he didn't have to feel. He walked, practically ran, across the stage (opting out of another cartwheel). The idea of leaving Barton made him vibrate with joy. The idea of forgetting that winter break left him with dread.
'Keep your head up, all right?'
Now, Angus Tully was in his junior year of college. Aside from the endless catalog of books, nothing about college was encouraging. Everything felt like an act; and he didn't know his role yet. No professor stood out to him. His brain had formed a mental blockade, preventing him from forming any lasting relationship.
The sky was a dark, alluring blue. Bare trees pointed their leafless arms to the sky in a prayer for the spring again. Wind blew shutters against the windows angrily. It was nearing the evening on the 26th of December.
While everyone was with their friends and family, Angus spent his holiday in Boston. He roamed a familiar bookshop. It was tucked between buildings, in a non-discreet hiding spot. Mushy, grey snow accumulated at the bottom of the bookshelves. He must've been the only person here.
The books were cold. Some were wet. A few were frozen shut. The faint jingle of holiday music hung in the air as Angus grazed the book spines with his cold finger. He was content, despite the shop owner glaring at him.
He crouched down to the bottom shelf. It was labeled 'History'. He was searching with no aim. Angus simply attempted to busy his mind. He saw dates and names he hadn't uttered since Barton. Peloponnesian war, he scoffed. Sicilian expedition. . . The Timeline of Athens. . . Carthage-
He squinted his eyes, leaning forward and resting his hands on the wood. His head tilted to read the spine clearly.
Carthage: The Ancient City of Tunisia.
The corner of his lips curved slightly. His fuzzed brain recognized this, why? Past conversations echoed in his brain. A familiar smell of waxed floors and pine trees hovered a ghostly aroma just beneath his nostrils. His left arm even felt a little sore.
Angus pulled the book out abruptly. It was a fairly new book. He could tell by its color and intact spine. The edges had wilted with the moisture. He rubbed the cover, removing speckles of snowflakes. His fingers lingered at the bottom of the book.
'Written by Paul Hunham'
He pursed his lips to stop himself from smiling. That son of a bitch. A part of him was shocked. But, the rest of him knew it was possible from the beginning. For once, it felt good to have high hopes. His cheeks warmed up and his heart pumped excitedly. This probably saved him from impending hypothermia. Distant memories flew at him like migrating birds coming home.
Something in him made him hesitant to flip the pages. Everything he knew was still buried under dusty memories. Whenever he thought of Hunham, everything was still an unfinished thought. A what-if. A chicken scratched dream dreamt by a super-hair-gelled teenager. Was he supposed to look into the present when he was still, undeniably, stuck in the past? He shivered with anticipation. The bold letters glared at him. Truthfully, nothing was a dream anymore. They had reached the future that headlined so many conversations. This book was evidence of that. He was just stuck searching for an explanation.
So, he opened the book. Each page flipped felt like a layer peeled off of Angus's heart. He skipped from the middle, to the end, to the start, and back and forth.
He flipped all the way to the beginning. A relatively blank page. The dedication page. A few words anyone could've missed. A few words most people probably skipped. The few words he actually read.
'To Mr. Tully, you can do this. I did.'
He chuckled., rubbing his stubble in awe. Suddenly, he felt eighteen again. He could hear the school bell ringing for him to go to fifth period. His heart tugged at the possibility of sitting in a Barton desk again. A history lesson accompanied by a lazy-eyed stare.
As Angus was once told, history is an explanation of the present and a study of the past. To Paul Hunham, Angus was an evaluation into his own youth and upbringing. To Angus Tully, Paul Hunham was, and currently, is a reminder of who he can be.
"Can I buy this book?"
x.
A couple weeks later Paul Hunham received a letter in the mail.
'To Walleye,
I read your book. I thought it was alright. I think it could use more pornography.
Let me know if you ever pass by Barton again. I'll be there. I'd love to have another traditional dinner. How about Easter?
From, Angus Tully.'
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