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ritsurin · 4 years ago

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Helpless - William Vangeance

WARNING: Dark theme of self harm, abuse and suicide

William Vengeance was a simple man, he was soft and calm. He loved everyone the same and equally except for (Your Name). She couldn’t love herself so she also couldn’t love him back.

“Aren’t you hot?” Mimosa asks (Your Name) as they got back from the training ground. “Me? Oh I’m fine. I wear this to sweat more.” She explains lifting her arm exposing her long sleeve shirt and pants. “I can lose more fat like this.”

Mimosa tilts her head in curiosity before jumping in excitement. “AH! Maybe I should give it a try, I’ve been pulling some weight.” (Your Name) just smiled at Mimosa, the younger generation were so pure. She was glad this happy girl didn’t go through hell like her.

“I’m going to take a shower, I’ll catch up with you for dinner.” Walking to the girls corridor she saw the captain.

“Hello (Your Name).” William soothingly says and gives a mysterious smile before passing her. (Your Name) gives a nod and keeps walking to her room. As much as William did not like to admit but he was curious about her.

She had been in the squad for a while but he didn’t know much about her except that she came from a trouble home. Of course he knew about the discrimination that people made against her but she learned how to tune it out. This was why she felt close to Yuno in the squad, he knew the feeling of being singled out because he was ‘lesser’.

William looks back at her from behind, (Your Name) was also hiding what had been hurting her.

For (Your Name) life wasn’t much to her, growing up with a abusive dad, and a mother that committed suicide. She fend for herself by the age of 16 and made a choice to become a magic knight. It was the only way for housing and money without doing any dirty work.

The morning birds of the Clover kingdom had woken her up as she laid in bed looking at the ceiling. She didn’t want to get up today. There was periods in her life where she was happy but not completely healed. Most the time she fell into a darkness that ate her head with negative thoughts.

There was a knock on her door, it was Mimosa, Yuno and Klaus. It was there day off the three wanted to go out to the market and shop for a little. (Your Name) silently groaned and got out of bed. “Give me a few! I’ll meet you guys down there.”

After they left she walked into the bathroom to look at her body and frowned. Although the scars were ugly it showed her that she survived and it was something to remind her that she was strong. After cleansing up she opened her closet door and put on a nice turtle neck and then her robe.

Walking out the room she went to grab a small breakfast before heading out. William had happen to be there at the same time. She silently greeted him and went to the door before he stopped her. “(Your Name) is it all your guys day off?” he asks.

“Ah yes, we are shopping at the market.” she response vaguely as he walked beside her. “Allow me to join, I have some free time.” (Your Name) shockingly accepts his offer as they walk side by side.

It was a silent trip for the most part, very small chatter and more admiring the city and weather. She wondered why he kept a mask on his face all the time, but it was something she didn’t want to ask him if he didn’t even show the squad.

“Vangeance Captain, are you sure you want to be shopping with a group of underlings?”

He gives a slight smirk and nods. “Why not?”

Mimosa, Klaus and Yuno were a little shaken to see their captain out but it made them happy to see more interaction with him. It was a good time for everyone as they happily walked down the street looking at vendors.

Little did anyone know that William was there to observe (Your Name).

“(Your Name)! I think this bathing suit would look pretty on you!” Mimosa cheers holding it up from her body, as (Your Name) awkwardly smiles taking the bathing suit from the younger girl. “Haha, I don’t do beaches or anything with water like that.” she kindly declines.

“EH?! It looks cute though! Right Klaus?”

Klaus looks away with a blush on his face and picks up his own set of swimming trunks. “DON’T ASK ME RIDICULOUS QUESTIONS MIMOSA!” as Yuno looks with his usual eyes when people makes jokes.

William just quietly smiles and sees that (Your Name) was uncomfortable with the subject as she played it off by giving Mimosa something cute to try on. William can only guest she had a hard past, her body was always covered like a nun. “Aren’t you hot?” He then asks her.

“Oh me? I wear long clothes so I can sweat more.”

William can see the lies in her eyes as he only accepts her answer and talks to Yuno for a bit.

Walking down the street most people would mind their own business but something stood out to (Your Name) as they came closer to a group of people. They were looking at a couple arguing.

The man was pulling the lady roughly by the wrist as she tried to set herself free. It surprised (Your Name) how many people just stood around and let it happen. “Maybe we should let them be alone?” Klaus suggest as they watch the couple fight and argue.

“Why don’t you listen? Are you stupid!” the man yells at the lady as she grits her teeth and pulls her arm back. “I told you I’m not going home with you!”

The man gets more angry and pulls the lady hair till shes on her knees as he yelled “You would be nothing but a peasant without me! I can’t believe a idiot like you thinks you can disobey me!”

The lady grabs his arm trying to be set free but he raised his hand high as she tightly shut her eyes to take the blow.

William was about to interrupt and save the lady when (Your Name) stood her ground and punched the man harshly in the face making him fly a few feet away.

The people around were glad there were magic knights around to fix the problem but (Your Name) was angry. After helping the lady up and bringing her to safety she gave everyone a disappointing look.

“Shame on all you that let this happen.” She says before walking away.

William ordered Klaus and Yuno to take the man in custody as Mimosa kindly walks the lady back to safety. He then sees that it might have triggered something in (Your Name), a little ashamed he didn’t stop the man sooner William follows (Your Name).

(Your Name) locked herself up in her room for the rest of the day. She laid in bed and thought about the past. Although she didn’t have to experience the abusive again that didn’t mean it still haunted her. It reminded her about her childhood and the only feelings she had at the moment was anxiety. She wanted cry, cry for the lady, cry for being weak at the time and didn’t notice her mother falling into depression before taking her life.

William personally let (Your Name) on a vacation, he saw that after the incident at the market she did’t act the same but more distance and quiet while pushing others away.

On a late rainy night William summoned her into his office because he wanted to know what was hurting her.

“Yes, captain?” she asks drained taking a seat across from him.

“I wanted to check up on you.” he admits, the smile he usually had on his face gone.

“I’m fine.”

William gives a displeased look at her poor choice of words and gets up from his seat bending down to crouch next to her. “I am your captain and my job is to also take care of my subordinate health and feelings.”

“Like I said I’m fine.” she tries to smile and gets up from the chair before he pulled her arm back, looking down he can see the scars everywhere as she roughly pulled her arm back. “Stop, don’t ask me any questions.” (Your Name) says looking away from him and keeping a distance.

“(Your Name).” He says with pain in his voice. “Why are you doing this to yourself? Let me help you I als-” but she got angry at him as she spoke.

“You what? Want to help?! Do you think you can fix a abusive father and bring a mother back that took her own life that left her only child alone to fend herself? Do you think you can fix the feeling of guilt for being helpless all the time, do you think you can make the marks go away?!”

“Let me expla-”

“No! You don’t understand anything. You don’t understand because everyone loves and looks up to you! You won’t be able to help me! You don’t understand how alone I am and how much I wanted help when I needed it.”

William silently walks in front of (Your Name) and sighs slowly taking his masks off showing the scar on his face.

“I understand you (Your Name), I was a cursed child from birth causing me to be the outcast. The people were afraid of my face as I was shunned and abused. You don’t have to feel alone anymore, I want to help you.”

(Your Name) takes a look at his face and bites her lip trying to suck her tears in as they fall down her face. Without saying a word she ran out the room. William could tell it wasn’t his face she was running from but the thought that she wasn’t the only one to feel the same pain as her.

(Your Name) locked herself in her room again for days, even when she was requested many times from William she would leave and find somewhere else to be so he couldn’t find her.

“Why do I run? This is what I wanted for a long time. For someone to understand me, for someone to be there for me.”

She was sad, because he was reaching out to her but the only thing she knew what to do was push him away. That’s what she did her whole life. Sitting on a bed of grass she cried and hugged herself. Why did life had to be so hard on her.

The ground started to shake as her body was hoisted up from the branches and vine, safely seating her on the tree. William was next to her, smiling. “I found you, our hide and seek game is over.”

She would try to smile at his joke but it didn’t come off as she cried more at his choice of words. Maybe it was his way of cheering her up because she was sad.

“I am sorry for what happened in your life, if I could I would have been there when you needed someone the most and I know you would have done the same for me.” He adds.

She rubs her eyes and nods. “Don’t be sorry, we all go through hardship. Some people just get unfortunate.”

William gently takes her hand with his as she looks up to him with a face of curiosity. "I have always watched you from afar (Your Name), but now I want to protect and help you heal as I have, if you would let me.“

(Your Name) thinks for a bit, she was tired of the same cycle of being happy but not completely happy with life. She was tired of acting strong and acting okay when she isn’t. Maybe with William by her side she could be at peace. Beside he went through a familiar trauma.

"Let’s us both take care for each other.” she suggest as they looked at the sunset on his tree.

“If that’s what it takes, I am okay with that.” William gently smiles wiping the tears off her face. “Don’t worry (Your Name) we have each other, it’s okay to lean onto others when you need help.”

“Yes. I will definitely try to get better from here on out.”

William holds her face and kisses her forehead.

“We are both scarred but it just means we are survivors.” she just smiles and leaned her head on his shoulder.

“Yes, we are survivors.”

(Author Notes: I hope everyone is well and never be afraid to ask for help! Much love for everyone.)

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