rise-in-the-night

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I realized something rather unsettling about E.M. Forster’s Maurice: it would’ve never happened at all—in fact it was so close to never having been written. 

Why? Because the novel is a direct result of Forster's visit to Edward Carpenter and George Merril in 1913—specifically, a direct result of a Merril’s touch on Forster’s backside, but broadly of Carpenter’s philosophy and the life he had with his lover, the lower-class Merrill. But here’s the thing: Edward Carpenter and George Merril were almost charged, arrested, and/or imprisoned because of their sexuality and relationship. 

Having published his controversial The Intermediate Sex which sought to justify homosexual love, Edward Carpenter came under fire and faced a large public reaction. Someone named D O’Brien, a member of a right-wing group instigated his own large-scale campaign against Carpenter. He printed out pamphlets and wrote letters accusing Carpenter, even sent them to the Home Office and the police who then started investigating Carpenter. The authorities evaluated Carpenter’s published books on homosexuality to determine merits of persecuting him.

However, the Director of Public Persecution at the time, Charles, decided not to open any legal proceeding. Because with the shadow of Oscar Wilde’s infamous trial still palpably felt in the society, he did not want to stir any public discussion about sex or homosexuality through Carpenter or his books. As such, no proceeding against Carpenter happened, and his books were not banned. This ended in 1909. 

But the investigation did not stop there. The Derbyshire police was concerned with—and anxious about—getting a case against Carpenter and Merrill as two homosexuals. I think that since Carpenter was upper-class and had a solid reputation, the police went after Merrill instead, especially because O’Brien’s letters mentioned names of several people who knew about Merrill’s "indecencies". But these people were of no avail. Hence, no incriminating evidence was found against Carpenter “beyond strong suspicion”, and before 1911, the whole thing was thus, finally, dropped. 

And Forster’s visit to the two men living together in Millthorpe happened in 1913. 

(Below: a 1911 census showing Edward Carpenter, the head of house, living together with George Merrill, the housekeeper)

Imagine: had Carpenter and Merril been caught—and imprisonment was most certain for Merril due to his lower station—they wouldn’t have been together at where they were in 1913. Forster probably wouldn’t have visited Carpenter at their cottage at all, and thus, Maurice and its happy ending would’ve never been formed. The lives of the real life Maurice Hall and Alec Scudder could’ve been destroyed before their fictional counterparts had been conceived—and Forster would’ve never seen the happy gay couple he knew to write a gay romance novel with a happy ending. 

(Forster could’ve written and even published another version of Maurice—albeit one with tragic ending and deaths of gay characters.)

I used to think Carpenter and Merrill evaded the laws and got through it all because they were smart and brave and discreet, but now I know they were also incredibly lucky, in the sense that it’s almost like Carpenter and Merrill were destined by some higher power to be together and live in an Edwardian gay fairy tale of happily ever after; they were meant to survive as outlaws and to welcome Forster into their home and inspire him to write a gay novel with a happy ending. “Fate has mated it perfectly,” might I quote from Forster himself. 

(Below: a 1921 census showing Carpenter and Merrill living together still)

Probably in an alternate universe, Carpenter and Merrill were indeed arrested. Merrill went to prison and suffered the same as Wilde did; Carpenter however was let off due to his status (just like Forster had imagined for Maurice and Alec in real life his terminal notes). I don't want to wonder or ponder too much on that because for now, I'm just glad that I live in this timeline where a homosexual happy ending indeed happened in real life as well as in fiction, in the most impossible times.

Source: https://blog.nationalarchives.gov.uk/edward-carpenter-free-love-advocate-and-lgbtq-rights-pioneer/

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a guard's purpose is to protect

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it takes 4 minutes to revive a dying soul.

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MAKING MY OLD GIFSET IDEAS — 6/25

“What are you doing?” — “Your grandma must really love you. You wouldn't want to see your grandma...” — “Leave her alone.” — “What if she disappears? Do you think the main family will look for her? It'll be a waste of time, don't you think?” — “I give up, Vegas. I give up.”

“I can't take myself anymore, Vegas. I can't take it anymore. If you don't kill me today, I'll do it myself.” — “Pete. Pete. I'm sorry, okay? Pete. I'm sorry. Okay. I give up, Pete. I'm sorry. Don't leave me, I'm begging you.”

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saw some people recoloring these so I used my broken developed film to add some new colors instead :)

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it takes 4 minutes to revive a dying soul.

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Theerapanyakul Bros as The Saturday Evening Post cover (in Leyendecker style) with made-up format(1st) and the original format (2nd)

the draft’s actually for Kinnporsche Week 2022 | Day 7 - Main or Minor Family? (but without the parents pls)

what a shame they could’ve teamed up and make a family band

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Carpe diem

pea-chhy

2022

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KINNPORSCHE WEEK 2022

Day 2: Favorite Episode | Episode 6

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fuck off! i'm sorry, pete. get the fuck out of my life! are you going to shoot me? are you? why aren't you shooting? don't you want me to disappear? shoot me already. shoot me!

i don't think you can. and you know why.

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five things you know and the one thing you don’t.

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[Dévotion n°4]

Dévotion (french): Quasi-religious attachment to something or someone.

This art is part of the "choix et dévotion" serie.

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Just you and me Pete🌹💙⛓💖🗡

Now on my store ♡

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Kinnporsche: The Movie (2022)

now playing in all imagination inside your head

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Make me choose: @trueplainhearts asked VegasPete parking lot scene or VegasPete pool scene

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Here you go, this is my naked heart.

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... I wanted to feel it, so I ran away to the gym in the main family's house and took one of the chains used to hold punching bags, wrapped it tightly in my hand and stretched it hard,

until it my wound opened again, letting the blood flow, but the pain only made me think of Vagas, who was taking me to endless torture,

I was losing control of myself, I absorbed so much pain that I couldn't live without it.