ripoffzootopia

[ripoffzootopia]

Judy’s Parents (Archer)

Judy: So, serious up, because they're not crazy about this whole arrangement, so... serious up.

Nick: Judy, once I meet them, I'm sure they'll find me utterly charming.

Judy: You have met them.

(Flashback)

Judy: Yes, he's getting his master's, too, and he's nice... and I said that already, and I'm sure he's just caught in traffic.

Stu: Hmm.

Bonnie: He could have walked here by now.

(Nick suddenly appears, waving a bottle of booze)

Nick: (Slurring) If it's gonna be that kind of party, etcetera, etcetera... mashed potatoes! Oh, whoo! (Falls face down on the dinner table)

[ripoffzootopia]

Sea Shanty (The Goodies)

Weaselton: Oh the winds they do blow and the seas they do roar

Nick: When you're stuck on a lighthouse ten miles from the shore

Finnick: But you've heard of the Jolly Rock, of that I am sure

All: Go there and your loved ones will see you no more

Oh don't go to the Jolly Rock whatever you do I wouldn't go near it if I were you

Weaselton: So away from the Jolly Rock I'd advise you to race

Nick: It's utterly appalling and not at all... nace

Finnick: Oh funny things happen there, it's such a disgrace

All: 'Cause mammals get killed there all over the place!

Ohhh... don't go to the Jolly Rock whatever you do I wouldn't go near it if I were you

Weaselton: Oh ... the next verse is... censored 'cause it's too horrible even to talk about!

Finnick: Oh your blood will run cold and your heart fill with dread

Nick: 'Cause the Jolly Rock is filled with the souls of the dead

Finnick: If you stay there one night, you'll go clean off your head

Both: And in no time at all you will probably catch mumps ..... 

Weaselton: That don’t even rhyme!

[ripoffzootopia]

Nick & Judy Watch The Clouds (Jontron)

Judy: That one looks like Mickey Mouse!

Nick: And that one looks like a cease and desist!

[ripoffzootopia]

Ewe 2 (The Simpsons)

Adam: Look guys, I got a Zootopia spoon for my spoon collection!

Dave: Oh, here we go.

Paul: How many spoons do you have now, Adam?

Adam: 9. If I didn’t have my spoons, I’d go insane.

Paul: Can I see it?

(Adam hands over the spoon. Paul throws it over his shoulder.)

Adam: My spoon!

(The spoon bounces off Chief Bogo’s head)

Bogo: Wankers!

[ripoffzootopia]

Elegant Dinner Party (Archer)

Inspector: Evening. Sorry to disturb your, uh...

Judy: (Posh voice) Elegant dinner party... For the most elegant mammals in all of Zootopia!

Inspector: Uh-huh. But we got a tip there'd been a murder up here.

Nick: (Posh voice) Good heavens, a murder? Well, apart from this sullen wench murdering good etiquette, I find the very suggestion laughable!

Inspector: So, you don't mind if I look around? 

Bogo: Uh, no! Of course not!

Inspector: And I'll let you get back to your... 

Judy: (Extremely posh voice) Elegant dinner party!!!

Finnick: I hate you all so much.

[ripoffzootopia]

Facial Hair (Naked Gun 2)

Judy: Yeah, you know the guy. White tiger. Moustache. About six-foot-three.

Nick: Awfully big moustache.

[ripoffzootopia]

Potato Chips (The Odd Couple)

Weaselton: If you need money, how come you play poker?

Finnick: 'Cause I need money.

Weaselton: But you always lose.

Finnick: That's why I need the money.

Weaselton: Then don't play poker.

Finnick: THEN DON’T COME TO MY HOUSE AND EAT MY POTATO CHIPS!!!

Nick: All right, all right, ALL RIGHT! Calm down, calm down, take it easy. I'm a cop, you know, I can arrest the whole lousy game!

Finnick: My friend Nick the cop is right.

[ripoffzootopia]

Nautical, But Nice (Arrested Development)

Clawhauser: Perhaps I should call the hot cops and tell them to come up with a more nautical theme. Hot sailors. Better yet... Hot sea...

Nick: (Interrupting) I like hot sailors.

Clawhauser: Me too.

[ripoffzootopia]

Nick Knows Everybody (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)

Jack Savage: There's someone you should talk to.

Judy: If you say Nick Wilde, you lose a testicle.

Jack Savage: Oh, you know him?

[ripoffzootopia]

Little Bitch (BASEketball)

Nick: No. Dude, you're a little bitch.

Finnick: I am not! I don't even know why I hang out with you guys, anyway.

Weaselton: 'Cause you're a piece of shit.

Finnick: I am not a piece of shit!

Nick: Yeah, but you're a little bitch.

Finnick: Goddammit! I swear if you guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times... I'm outta here!

[ripoffzootopia]

Bogo Forgets To Turn His British Off (Archer)

Bogo: Clawhauser, you came for me!

Clawhauser: Of course I did, Chief! I'm a...

Bogo: Fag?

Clawhauser: ...Chief?

Bogo: Have you got one? Dying for a smoke.

[ripoffzootopia]

Nick Tells Bogo About His Dream (Wayne’s World 2)

Bogo: Did he have a naked Yak with him?

Nick: Yes!

Judy: Wow.

Bogo: I have to ask, didn't you think it was a trifle unnecessary to see the crack in the Yak’s bottom?

Nick: Yes, absolutely!

Bogo: I had the same dream!

[ripoffzootopia]

Special Screening (Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back)

(Nick and Judy leave the movie theater.)

Nick: That was definitely worse than Clash of the tigers.

Judy: I can't believe Shrewdi Dench played me.

Nick: Remind me to renew that restraining order.

Judy: Why?

Nick: Because I'm going to blast that flick on the internet tonight.

[ripoffzootopia]

Nick Attempts To Make Doritos (Crash the Super Bowl 2012)

Nick: Everyone loves Doritos, right? Well today I’m gonna show you how to make your own!

(Nick is standing behind a table piled high with ingredients.)

Nick: Alright to save time I already gathered the ingredients. Now, of course the hardest part about this is gonna be finding a unicorn and making it cry. 

(Nick is now hard at work mixing the ingredients in a science lab environment.)

Nick: If you guys are gonna be making Cool Ranch, you wanna go ahead and add two dashes of autumn breeze and half a horse’s whinny.

(Cut to Nick producing a bucket which contains the finished product.)

Nick: And we are done. It’s time for us to enjoy our delicious – AHHHH!! I made gold again! 

(Nick dumps the bucket of gold into a bigger bucket of gold.)

Nick: What am I gonna do with all this gold?!!!

[ripoffzootopia]

Finnick Tries To Get A Job (SLC Punk!)

(Finnick walks up to the store manager.)

Finnick: HEY!!!

Store Manager: Can I help you?

Finnick: Yeah, I called about the job.

Store Manager: You called?

Finnick: Yeah, I wanna sell clothes, women's clothes.

Store Manager: I don't know. Have you ever had experience?

Finnick: With what?

Store Manager: In women's clothes?

Finnick: What the f**k would I be doing in women's clothes? What do I look like a transvestite? I'm not no f**king transvestite, all right?

Store Manager: No, no, no, I mean, have you ever worked in retail?

Finnick: Huh?

Store Manager: You know, selling... clothes.

Finnick: Well if I was selling clothes already, what would I be doing here? I really don't think this is the right way to start a working relationship. You got a real, a real bad attitude, lady. In fact I don't even wan't your job, I don't care how much you'd pay me, cause I got integrity, in-f**king-tegrity. WAAAH!

[ripoffzootopia]

Bothering Bogo (The Mighty Boosh)

Nick: Chief? Chief? Chief! ... Chief!

Bogo: This’d better be good.

Nick: You know the black bits in bananas, are they tarantula’s eggs?

Bogo: Please don’t ever speak to me again in your life.

[ripoffzootopia]

How Do You Drink A Mood? (BoJack Horseman)

Finnick: Anyway, now we're all about smoodies.

Nick: What? 

Finnick: Smoodies.

Nick: You're saying smoothies, right? Smoothies.

Weaselton: No.

Finnick: Smoodies.

Weaselton: It's a mood that you drink like a smoothie.

Nick: I don't understand it. How do you drink a mood? 

Weaselton: Like a smoothie.

Nick: So it is a smoothie.

Finnick: No, it's a smoodie. 

Weaselton: A mood that you drink.

Nick: How do you drink a mood? 

Weaselton: Like a smoothie!

Nick: But do you buy it in a store? What're the physical attributes? 

Finnick: We haven't worked out all the kinks yet,