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rikert-zorn · 3 days ago

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Okay, time to show you guys what I’ve been working on for the past three weeks. My first ever MD fanfic, or really, fanfic of anything. This is an experiment to see how my writing style is received, and honestly, a labour of love towards a series that has taken a permanent place in my heart.

This fanfic is based off this set of images by @audiart , who is a great artist, definitely check them out. When I saw the art, I came up with an anthology based fanfic idea, and for once, decided to run with it. So here it is. For all you Murder Drones and Nuzi lovers.

Bad Days - A Murder Drones fanfic

(*Content warning, just to be safe* Mentions of series typical violence and gore; dark, self-harmful thoughts (nothing actually happens though!) and general sad, angsty feelings, particularly around part 5. However, this fic is also spaced with, and ends with wholesomeness, so keep that in mind.)

The asbestos snow softly drifted down the ruins of a once thriving human colony, set on the mining planet of Copper-9. Though now it had been reduced to slowly decaying buildings inhabited by skeletons, as well as a new form of society, one of the artificial kind.

Safe to say, it was dead silent except for the white noise of the wind, which was exactly what Uzi needed as she sat on a discarded crate in the middle of an empty street, arms and legs tucked inwards. It would seem that this was an attempt to keep warm against the wind, but she was a drone, so there was no need.

Yet tonight, the feeling of the icy wind seeping through her jacket and touching her core was unmistakable, though this source of cold and bitterness came from more than just the wind.

She felt guilty. Like scum. And so that feeling translated into a chill that came from inside, where no matter how tightly she braced herself, she could feel no warmth or comfort. It felt like the elements were punishing her for what she had just done mere minutes ago. And she believed that she fully deserved it.

See, Uzi was no stranger to being a bit… abrasive. A childhood of having no one but yourself in a society that considered you abnormal, and treated you as such would do that to you. And this wasn’t the first time she had snapped at someone, and when she had in the past, she didn’t feel too guilty because more often than not, she felt like they deserved it.

No, the guilt this time came from the fact that she knew that the person she had given out to, absolutely did not deserve it. N.

Uzi closed her eyes and sorrowfully tucked her head in further at the image of hurt confusion on N’s face after she had shouted at him. And this wasn’t a playful, half-serious “Bite me! Stop asking me if I need help being an awesome host to a spooky eldritch deity, N!”, but rather, a genuinely frustrated and downright angry “Stop asking if I need help, N! You can’t help me with this!”.

She shuddered at the memory. “How the hell could I have said that to him!? To HIM!?”, she thought, “What’s wrong with me!?”. Sure, N could be extra sometimes, especially when he ~really~ wants to help his loved ones, but he never meant to be annoying. Especially when it came to Uzi, who was his girlfriend (Uzi couldn’t believe at this moment how he still loved her), he always wanted to improve her life, and make her happy and content.

And it’s not like how he acted was entirely what set her off.

Truth be told, being the new host of the Absolute Solver was a lot tougher than it looked. Having to maintain her normal worker drone form and **not** turn into a giant centipede creature constantly drained her, on top of having to deal with the Solver in her tail being a consistent nuisance. Yeah, it’s understandable how she’d have little patience some days. But even if she had to deal with a fairly more difficult existence than most drones, she made a promise to herself to be a more chill drone than she used to be, and above all else, never **ever** direct her frustration towards N.

Well, she had just broken her golden rule, and now felt like absolute garbage. And she was perfectly consigned to spend the rest of the night alone in the frozen wasteland, amongst the other pieces of junk. However, as she buried her head to hide her shame, she heard footsteps crunching in the snow, getting louder. Closer. She didn’t bother to look up, hoping that her balled-up form would be enough to hide herself from however was wondering about.

It became clear that her plan hadn’t worked when the footsteps stopped just two meters away, and a familiar, gentle voice sounded out.

“Uzi? What are you doing all the way out here?”

It was N.

Uzi looked up slightly, a sliver of her purple and yellow optics reflecting in N’s worry-laced face as he stood there.

She simply turned back down. She didn’t know what to say. What could she say? There was truly no excuse for what she had done. And she hoped that N would see that, see her for the terrible lost cause that she believed she was, and leave her. And it seemed like that was the case as she heard the footsteps turn away.

But it was only for a moment, as they soon came back, albeit much slower and laboured this time, before a great thunk came from in front of her.

This loud sound caused her to turn her head up fully, where she saw N sitting legs crossed on a crate that he had brought over, a hopeful smile on his face.

She couldn’t believe it.

The two sat there, staring at each other for a few minutes that, to Uzi, felt like a few hours, before N softly spoke.

“Y’know, what happened back there, I’m not mad at you for it. I can tell that you feel pretty bad for it, maybe thinking that I hate you, but I can tell you, I don’t. I still love you so much, and I always will.”

Uzi’s eyes widened at the tenderness in his words. He continued.

“However, I would like to know what you’re thinking, and what caused you to react that way. What did I do wrong to make yo-“

“You didn’t do anything, N”, Uzi cut in, coming off a little sharper than intended. She tried a softer tone.

“It’s all my fault for being so grumpy and snappy all the time now. I’m so sorry for taking my anger out on you.”

“I forgive you Uzi. We all have unpleasant moments, and I know you weren’t feeling like that for no reason, so please tell me so we can deal with this better next time.”

Uzi looked at N, who looked at her with all the patience, understanding and love in the world.

“I-“ Uzi stammered, “ I always appreciate your help N, but sometimes, I feel like you go a bit too fast and extra. And with the problems I deal with, like having a stupid, constantly hungry eldritch monster be a part of your body, they require a slower, more thought-out approach.”

N nodded his head.

“Of course! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that! Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind.”

Uzi started, looking at N who now had a big smile on his face.

“But I want to be clear, N, I’m fully in the wrong here! This is all my fault for giving out to you.”

“No it isn’t, Uzi”, N gently but firmly asserted. “It was a fault on both our parts, but we can improve, like how we just did now!” His beaming smile returned.

Uzi looked forward to N, her self-loathing somewhat defeated for now, but not enough to prevent her from saying, “How can you stand me, N?”

N’s face fell down, concerned and saddened.

“Uzi,” he said sadly.

“I keep messing up.” Uzi finished.

“And I won’t stop forgiving you.” N declared with unwavering confidence.

Uzi just sat there, taking it all in.

N slid off of his crate and offered his hand to Uzi.

“Now how about you come in from the cold, Uzi? We can watch one of your pirated anime’s and drink some hot oil, or draw, or just be together? Anything to make your night better!”

Uzi looked at N, who’s smile radiated so much warmth and care. And finally, she gave a small smile as she took N’s hand and came down from her seat.

“Yeah,” she sighed, “I’d like that, N. I’d like that very much.”

With N leading the way, whose tail was now wagging, the two went to the bunker to make the most of the remaining night.

“Gosh, being up here the city looks so beautiful, doesn’t it, Uzi?”

N exclaimed this as he and Uzi glided across the cityscape, high in the air, though just under the cloud line.

“Oh yeah! It…it sure does!” Uzi replied, doing her best to sound happy. Now don’t get her wrong, she was somewhat enjoying this. The vast ruins of the human colony did look really cool as it stretched far into the horizon, and it felt awesome to see the world from a birds-eye view. You felt like a god, though in Uzi’s case, she kinda was one, which did come with many benefits.

Having near infinite flying endurance and strength, was unfortunately not one of them, which leads to why Uzi was ultimately feeling down at this moment. You see, when she and N and first taken off for the night, having been freed from school for the weekend, both had rocketed and soared through the night sky, first going to the clouds, which was where N loved to fly because in his words, “The clouds feel ticklish on your body!” The only time Uzi had ever touched clouds was when she was having an impromptu therapy session with N in free fall after her rampage at Camp 98.7, so she didn’t exactly have a moment to feel the clouds.

However, tonight, they had all the time and space in the world, and when she flew up to that herculean height, she could indeed confirm how funny the clouds felt. She and N even had a contest to see who could create the best cloud sculpture, with Uzi winning because of her skilled artistic abilities, though N wasn’t far behind.

This couldn’t last long however, as Uzi’s wings started to feel heavy and tired, which she brushed off at first, even when N started to notice her more sloppy movements and suggested they go to a lower altitude. She insisted that she was fine, to only five minutes later get a wing cramp and start plummeting out of the sky. She screamed more than she’d like to admit, but N swiftly caught her in his arms, shaken as well.

It was then he made the executive decision that they would both cruise under the clouds, since Uzi didn’t want them to stop flying entirely (she didn’t want to completely ruin his night).

Now this seems like a small thing, and to N, he ultimately couldn’t care less that they weren’t in the clouds. He was spending time with Uzi, and that was enough.

But to Uzi, who was prone to overthinking some days, the fact that she had caused an inconvenience to N, all because she had (in her opinion) gross, fleshy wings, unlike N’s, which were metal, strong, beautiful and amazing (“Unlike me”), had caused her to start silently spiralling.

She could only see all the horrors and hurt she had brought to N after meeting him. Getting him betrayed and nearly killed by his team after he rebelled, which she had pushed him towards. Setting him towards a path that involved him thinking that someone he had known and cared about for years had died. Causing him to believe that his new most beloved person had just sacrificed herself, which she knew he had nightmares about occasionally. Getting his core ripped out over and over again by the person who he saw as a sister, who was wearing the skin of the only human that had ever shown him and his friends kindness!

She could only see the bad, not how she had helped him grow into a stronger, more confident person who would no longer be used as a doormat. Not how she had helped him escape an abusive and lonely existence that would’ve ended with him starving to death. And certainly not how she had given him someone who loved him for who he was, and appreciated him more than anything, just like he had given her.

Nope. Just the bad.

Just the bad.

“Uzi?” N’s calming voice suddenly cut through her darkening thoughts. “You’re drifting off a bit there, buddy.”

Uzi’s head darted around to see N, who was now a good few meters away from her, a concerned look plastered on his face.

“Oh, s-shoot!” Uzi quickly banked right a bit, bringing herself onto a path closer to N, though her course was still skakey until N took her by the hand.

“Hey, why don’t we try something?”

N moved his fingers so that his and Uzi’s pointer fingers were connected.

N smiled.

“There! That way we can stay together, but still have space for our wings!”

Uzi stared at their joined hands for a moment, blushing, before looking at N with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Heh, that’s a good idea, N.” she mumbled.

The two flew like that for a minute or so, taking in the vast frozen wasteland, before Uzi, without turning to look at N said, “I’m sorry N.”

N was confused for a moment, before saying with a carefree expression, “Oh don’t worry about that, Uzi! Back when I was with V and J, I’d often space out whenever we glided for long periods. J would often yell at me for that. In any case, it happens to the best of-“

“No. Not that.” Uzi cut in, voice small and deflated, “I mean, I’m sorry that we couldn’t spend more time in the clouds just because I’m weak.”

N, who was taken aback by this, squeezed Uzi’s hand so that she looked towards him. He had that same, comforting smile on him.

“Uzi, you’re not weak! Everyone has different wing strengths, and don’t worry about not being able to go that high! I don’t mind it at all.”

At this point, Uzi fully turned around.

“Bite me! Don’t lie N! I know how much you love flying in the clouds. I know how much you enjoy it!”

“Not as much as I enjoy just spending time with you!” N pleaded.

Uzi let go of his hand and let out her frustrations with herself.

“But why!?! Why, N!? What have I done for you that’s made you like me so frikken much?! I have done nothing but caused you pain, suffering, and definitely an unhealthy dose of trauma! I put your life through hell ever since I entered it!”

Uzi looked down, her energy dripping out like raindrops and getting carried by the wind. Then she spoke, her voice drained and quiet.

“I’m sorry for entering your life.”

She went silent, looking away from N, who was staring at her, absolutely stunned by what he just heard.

“Is that really how you see yourself?” he thought.

The silence continued for a minute, with Uzi looking downward, feeling less weighed down, but not any better. She told him what she thought, but it had more just assured her that everything she said was true.

That was, until she felt her arm being gently pulled, before she was swiftly tucked underneath N, so that they were still gliding, but now he was holding her close to his chest.

“N! What are you do-“

“Shhhh.”

N began running his hand through Uzi’s purple hair, the other stroking her own hand. The contact was actually quite calming for her, even silencing her mind for a bit.

N nuzzled his head into the crook between Uzi’s head and shoulder, before, with conviction and love, speaking into her audial receptors:

“You’re the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Uzi froze, partially because she still wasn’t completely used to the whole ‘intimate physical contact’ thing, and also because she never thought she would receive that sort of praise, in all her life.

N continued.

“And I’ll say that as many times as I need to, until you believe it. You helped me become a stronger, better person, come to terms with my past, and together, we saved the whole world, dude! You have improved my life in so many ways.”

He leaned in a bit closer, a yellow blush appearing on his visor.

“And on top of that, you’re a really good girlfriend.”

Uzi’s face, which was already turning purple, broke out into a blushing, indigo mess.

“Robo god, you’re so corny!” Uzi said, though there wasn’t any malice behind her words, also helped by her smile.

N chuckled.

“Hehe, well sometimes you need some corniness in order to balance out all the angst in ya!”

Uzi reached out and playfully pulled N’s hat over his face.

“Oh, shut it!” But N simply nuzzled his face into hers, sending her into a fit of laughter. One that was interrupted as she turned forward and saw a rapidly approaching skyscraper that was somehow still standing.

“N? N!?!” Uzi yelled as her optics went wide, “Turn! TURN!!”

N looked to where she did, and got the same, panicked look.

“Ohgeezlookoutuzi!” He hollered as he did a barrel roll out of the way, which for Uzi, sent the whole world spinning around.

Eventually they steadied out, with N shaking his hair like a dog, and Uzi groaning with spinning spirals replacing her eyes.

“Uzi! You good?”

“Uh, yeah I’m fine.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Nonono N, it’s okay. Thank you, actually! For the talk, I mean.”

The two smiled at each other as they continued flying.

“Anytime, Uzi. Anytime.”

“Holy crap, N!” Uzi cried out, “Are you okay!?!”

Uzi glided down to where N had struck the ground after falling like a meteor. He had even left a small trail in the snow when he had skidded a bit. Though luckily, he had landed on his back this time, and not face first.

“Don’t worry, Uzi! I’m all good!” N yelled as he gave her a thumbs up, though the rest of him was still lying down in the snow.

Uzi landed more gracefully near him, her flesh wings fluttering as a bird’s do when it lands.

“You sure? That was a pretty hardcore crash!”

“Well, my back is a little sore, but it’s nothing I can’t handle!” N declared as he reached an arm out to grab Uzi’s extended one.

“Plus”, he added as he got up and brushed himself down, “I think it takes a little more to really hurt a disassembly drone than a little tumble!”

Uzi stared at him.

“Little tumble!?! You practically fell from space, dude!”

“Okay seeing how we’ve both actually done that, I think you should know that’s a bit of an exaggeration. We were just flying, hm, about as high as the skyscrapers, then I lost control after…well…”

N trailed off as he looked towards Uzi, whose small grin had given way to a look of guilt and shame.

She remembered what had happened a minute ago, with her and N flying fast and free, when Uzi felt a pain in her wings, causing her to groan.

N rolled around to face her.

“You okay, Uzi?”

Uzi turned to N.

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine. It’s just that my wings are a bit sore.”

“Hmm, that could be because they’ve been in the same gliding position for a while.”

N gasped.

“I know! Try giving them a big ol’ stretch! That should ease them up.”

Uzi, completely trusting N, immediately flexed her wings out as far she could go. Her wingspan was fairly large, though smaller than N’s, who gave her a playfully sceptical look.

“C’mon, I’ve seen them bigger than that! You really need to spread them fully out in order to relax them!

“I’m trying N, hold on!”

Uzi checked that there was nothing in front of her, closed her eyes, and then imagined her wings, fanned out in all their eldritch glory. Suddenly, she felt a small burst of pain on her back, causing her to wince.

“Uzi, look!” N yelled ecstatically.

Uzi opened her eyes and saw that each of her wings had grown almost a meter more! On top of that, they looked more developed, with large claws at the ends of the bone intersections.

“Haha! Hell yeah!” Uzi triumphed, doing several barrel rolls in place in her excitement. She was so excited in fact, that she didn’t notice the largest claw on her right wing get caught on one N’s left wing blades.

“Hey Uzi, watch ouuuuuuuutt-!” N could barely finish his sentence as he got caught in Uzi’s horizontal tornado, until the blade eventually slid off the claw, flinging N towards the ground.

“Uzzzzziiiiiiiii!” N screamed as he fell down. His shrill cry immediately snapped Uzi out of her power trip, as she turned and saw what had happened.

“N!”, she cried, “Hold on!”

She held out her hand and put her fingers into a triangle in an attempt to use the Solver to grab him, only for her screen to come up with:

- // ERROR absoluteslovertrn_

[like object non-interactive]

…

“Crap!” Uzi mentally facepalmed herself, “I guess that makes sense! But I’m too far away to catch him at the speed he’s moving at!”

This meant that Uzi could only watch in horror as N headed straight for the snow, closer and closer, until-

“Uzi?” N questioned, bringing the girl back to the present.

Uzi looked up at N, a slight tremor going through her, before she lunged at N and gave him a hug, burying her face in his torso while hiding her wings.

“Uzi…” N sighed as he patted her on the head.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She mumbled in a slightly wavering and muffled voice.

N shook his head.

“Never crossed my mind.” He calmly stated, “Please don’t feel bad. I was the one who suggested you stretch your wings out.”

Uzi pulled away.

“But you didn’t know that they would grow suddenly.” Uzi started pacing in circles and waving her arms around as her tone got increasingly sarcastic and frustrated with herself.

“Of course I didn’t know that they would either! But hey, that’s what you get when you’re a friggen freak like me! Gross, unpredictable (“friggen disgusting”) flesh wings, part of a package deal of my monstrous, horrible self!”

“Uzi.” N tried to slow her rant down, but Uzi simply grabbed her wings, her arms shaking with anger.

“I hate these wings, N! I hate myself!!!”

Silence fell over the two, Uzi standing still, shoulders raised as she stared down her wings, angry tears pricking her eyes.

N slowly walked over and slid his arms around her, feeling her wings, going over them with utmost care. He traced the bone structures with his fingers, before bringing his hands to Uzi’s chin, tilting her head so that she was looking at him, and his mouth, set in a thin line of determination.

“Well,” N spoke slowly, as if he was greatly considering his next words, “I love you more than myself, so hopefully that balances out.”

Uzi took a moment to process what he just said, and then buried her head again so that N wouldn’t see her blushing.

“First off, ew! What kind of sappy romance books have you read?!” She said in an attempt to ignore how genuinely flustered she was getting.

“And secondly,” she said as she looked up, “That’s not exactly a good thing, N.”

“Well, neither is hating yourself.” N said matter of factly.

Uzi continued.

“Like, you shouldn’t feel the need to put my needs over your own. I don’t want you to. You’re your own person, N.”

“Well yeah, but I like making you feel happy! Especially when you’re feeling like this!”

“Thanks N, but please look out for yourself as well.” Uzi looked down, as if a weight had been added to her. “Don’t get dragged down with me when I’m like this.”

“Uzi”, N caringly said as he pulled her into a hug, “I’ll take care of myself, but also know that we’re in this together, so let’s just, take care of ourselves and each other, okay?”

Uzi sighed.

“Okay.”

N looked at her wings again.

“Y’know, for the record, I think your wings are very cool. They remind me of the wings of the dragons in the books Tessa would sometimes read, back at the manor.”

Uzi hummed.

“Huh, sweet.”

“And they’re also really pretty.” N said with a mischievous smile growing.

Uzi pulled away, pulling N’s hat over his head so that, once again, he wouldn’t see how embarrassed she was.

“Okaaaayyy, that’s enough affection for today, I think.”

Uzi’s whole body shook as she gripped the severed WD arm in her hands. The base had been torn away after she had mangled it, along with the worker attached to it. And several others.

She wanted to throw up, to scream, to rewind time to half an hour before, before she’d-

“Oh yeah, it’s coming back up-“ Uzi thought before violently barfing out a glob of oil and metal, which stained her mouth, her jacket, and the snow in front of the tree stump she sat on.

And yet, she was still hungry.

“CONSUME

GROW

TAKE WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS”

“Shut up!” Uzi grit her teeth as the voice came back in her head, the same voice that had been a thunderous roar before, as compared to the normal whisper gnawing away at the edge of her mind most days.

She constantly had to fight it. The pure essence of the Absolute Solver was within her after all, but every day, she had managed to hold it back, seemingly with no effort.

But some days, it was louder, more insistent, more violent.

And Uzi was tired today.

So she gave it an inch when she nibbled on a fresh corpse in the bunker, instead of the normal can.

And when you give the Solver an inch, it takes a whole light year.

In mere moments, she had transformed into her true, giant centipede form, and proceeded to rip and tear her way through a group of innocent Worker Drones, who had simply been passing her by.

“Going near me was a death sentence for those poor guys.” Uzi reflected. “Robo Jesus, I really am the worst.”

It had only been through a combination of V fending her off, Nori and N pleading with her on top of having to fight her, and honestly, sheer luck, that she had regained some control and was made it out of the bunker before she could slaughter anyone else. After that, she ran off into the woods, her urges having calmed down enough for her to go back to her normal drone form, where she proceeded to have a mental breakdown.

“I’m horrible. I’m awful, I shouldn’t be around anyone” (“I should have just died. Maybe I’d take the Solver with me”).

She began to hyperventilate. The world around her became blurry and she couldn’t hear anything. Except for a voice.

“DO YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND?

YOU SHOULDN’T BE HERE

I SHOULD TAKE CONTROL

YOU WON’T HAVE TO FEEL ANY GUILT ANYMORE

JUST LET ME IN

LET ME IN

LETMEINLETMELINLETMEINLETMEIN-“

Uzi suddenly felt the sensation of weight pressing all around her, and she thought that the Solver had manifested again and was taking over. She closed her eyes and whimpered as she expected the end to come.

But then, the pressure eased up, and a strange movement could be felt in her hair. Uzi was still breathing erratically, but had calmed down to the point where she could hear another voice faintly:

“There we go, that’s it. Keep breathing slower. You’re doing so well.”

She couldn’t quite remember at that moment who that voice belonged to, but she felt an unmistakable warmth radiate from it, so did her best to follow along. She took deep breaths in and out, which became harder as the memories of what she had done came flooding back.

Whoever the voice had come from seemed to have recognised this, and so took Uzi’s hands and interlaced them with their own.

“Keep going. You’re doing great, buddy!” The voice was so calm and cheerful, and combined with the last word, Uzi knew exactly who was talking to her.

As the forest came back into view, so did the face that was in front of Uzi, that being N’s, who looked tired, but still full of love and care. Uzi looked at him as her breathing became normal, no readable expression on visor except for exhaustion.

“There you go.” N voice as soft as breeze. “Feeling any better?”

Uzi was too tired to lie.

“No.” She quietly spoke in an apathetic, emotionless voice.

N’s face fell, before he walked over to a close-by stump and sat to Uzi’s left, looking at her. He figured that after an incident of this magnitude, he needed to give her space to think.

Uzi just sat there in silence, her optics wide and hollowed as she gripped the arm, fingers occasionally making vague movements across it. While she had calmed down, it was clear that her mind was still somewhere else entirely. She could remember, no, hear the screams of the victims she had attacked, see the absolute fear and terror in their screens as she bore down on them. And worst of all, she could taste, despite everything, how sweet the oil was.

With this thought, Uzi’s eyes went slightly wider and she gripped the arm closer and shook a little, which greatly raised the concern of N.

“Uzi?” N asked, growing incredibly worried.

Uzi didn’t really hear him, and instead thought about all she had done, causing her to come to the conclusion that she felt was the understatement of the century:

“I’m a bad person.” It was quiet, but to N, it was deafening. And so, he responded with his complete truth:

“Not in my eyes.”

Uzi turned to N, slight confusion in her face, but barely. As if she had any energy to muster any feeling in her.

“Why?” She spoke in the same, somber tone. “I just ate a bunch of people. Tore them to shreds. How can you see me as anything other than a mons-“

Uzi stopped as N slowly raised a finger to his fangs, then his claws and tail.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“No it’s okay Uzi! I know you didn’t mean it like that. But what I’m getting at is that I don’t see you as a bad person.”

N tried to shuffle his seat forward, but remembered he was sitting on a stump, so instead he got up and knelt down in front of Uzi.

“I see you from the perspective of someone who was also forced to hurt others, just to survive. And I know that you didn’t mean to hurt those people. Only a bad person would mean to do that.”

“But I lost control, N. That shouldn’t happen. It doesn’t happen most days, why was today any different?”

N looked thoughtful for a moment before responding.

“We can’t be perfect all the time. We all have off days, like today was for you.”

Uzi looked him straight in the eyes, with a look as if he had just made a stupid joke during a funeral.

“And several drones died as a result, N.”

“But that doesn’t mean you’re bad, Uzi! I forgive you, and so does everyone who matters. I talked to them myself! Because we understand that this new part of your life was the price you paid for your sacrifice, an act that saved us all from, well, dying!”

N took Uzi’s hands in his own again.

“So we will stand by you, and support you even through these accidents, because you deserve it after all you’ve done.”

Uzi looked down, eyes no longer hollow, but still regretful. While she felt better knowing that her loved ones had her back, she honestly felt guilty somewhat, seeing how they wanted to help her even though she had murdered people. But she didn’t want N to think that his support was for nothing.

So, she put on her best, ‘thanks for helping me with my breakdown’ smile.

“Okay, thanks, N. I think I want to go back home now, probably just crash out in my room.”

“No problem Uzi! Sounds like a plan!”

Uzi hopped off her stump while N stood up, the two still holding hands.

“Hey N?”

N looked at her with his usual golden retriever smile.

“Yeah Uzi?

“If we don’t see anyone on the way in before I conk out, like mom or dad, or V, tell them that I’m thankful for them, please?”

“Of course!” N said with a massive grin.

And so the two walked off, N convinced that for another moment, everything would be okay. Uzi on the other hand, while touched by what had been said, still harboured a mix of guilt, sadness, and extreme self-hatred within her, just waiting to boil over.

All was quiet. Even the wind had stopped, with the falling snow not making the slightest sound as it hit the wooden roof of the camp cabin that Uzi was sitting on. And there was certainly no one else around to make any noise. Uzi preferred it that way, just as she had done for the past week.

(“I don’t deserve connection.”)

She stared off at the ruins of the Cabin Fever Labs that now lay like little toy blocks strewn about by an angry child, some even spilling onto the now cracked and fragmented ice lake that passing drones had to be careful navigating, lest they fall in between the unstable shards and get buried in ice.

(“I wish that would happen to me.”)

As for the camp itself, it remained relatively undamaged, somehow surviving the now **two** planet implosions. Even so, no one used the camp anymore, not since rumours started spreading of a terrible, purple beast that was believed to be responsible for the disappearances of five students from Outpost 3.

(“I can’t live with the guilt anymore.”)

(“I’ve become a terrible, terrible thing.”)

(“I just want this to end.”)

Uzi turned away from the ice lake and looked towards the forest of tall, silent trees, who stood still, looking down upon her as if judging her. She was too tired to defend herself. After all, she was now harbouring the Solver, the entity that had caused the universe so much pain and discord. She was its main host, the only tie it had to the corporal world. She was allowing it the opportunity to strike back again with every moment she spent alive.

She was no better than it.

That’s what she had concluded in the past weeks. She knew how dangerous she was to everyone and everything she held dear, which is why three days ago, she had woken up in the morning, left a note for N about how she was going out for a while, put on her signature emo clothes, and left.

Even the way she had left left her feeling more weighed down than ever. She couldn’t even say goodbye to his face, because she knew he wouldn’t allow her to distance herself like that. Or because she knew, in her heart of hearts, that if she had to look him in his yellow eyes, she wouldn’t be able to muster the strength in her legs to move.

But she figured it was better to get it over and done with, allowing him time to tell her family, and for them to see that it was for the best.

She looked down at the ground next to the cabin, and started to wonder how much damage would occur if she ‘accidentally’ fell off. But that spiraling train of thought was interrupted as she heard the trees begin to rustle, despite the fact that there was no wind. She looked up, and immediately rose to her feet upon seeing a shadow jumping between the trees, which bent under the object’s weight.

Uzi looked around for any immediate hiding place, but on the roof there was nothing, and if she flew off she would be practically unmissable to whatever was approaching.

It didn’t even matter as before she could really do anything, the mass had landed on the top tree closest to the cabin, and as Uzi got a good look at the form as the tree bent towards her, she saw dots of yellow in a row, before two large yellow ovals widened underneath them.

Oh no.

Uzi moved to take off but was stopped as the object lunged at her while a voice cried out loudly in a mix of relief, happiness and confusion:

“Uzzzzzzzziiiiiiii!!!”

N quickly sweeped Uzi up in his arms as he flew in a small upwards arc, before coming to a stop as he hovered over the cabin, hugging Uzi tightly.

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I found you! Uzi, where have you been!?! I know you left me a vague note but I thought you’d be gone for like a few hours! It’s been days! Do you know that it’s been days? I’m relieved but I’m honestly mad, Uzi! Why didn’t you tell me that you’d be gone for so long?! Unless…you got lost! Did you get lost, U-“

N was talking very fast, barely forming a coherent sentence, but before he could continue releasing the last three days of stress and worry over his girlfriend, he heard Uzi make a sound that sounded like a cross between a cough and a cry. Then he felt her body heave.

“U-Uzi??” N stuttered as he shifted her around and then lifted her head a bit to see her face. Her eyes that were a perfect mix of yellow and purple were wide, filled in and spouting tears that kept sliding down the sides of her screen. Her mouth was trembling and her throat burned as she tried to hold back the sadness, guilt and exhaustion over her mental state for the past few days, which were all surfacing upon realising that N wouldn’t let her face this by herself.

She made an attempt to say something, but failed when all that came out was a choked cry.

N held her close, trying to hear what she was saying with a very concerned look plastered on his face.

“Woahwoahwoah! Easy there, buddy.” He breathed as he held her head up.

Uzi closed her eyes as her breathing shuddered, before looking up at N and letting the words finally tumble out:

“I t-thought it was for the best. I’m…I’m sorry!”

She practically squeaked out those last words before sinking her face into N’s chest as she started sobbing. Her chest heaved up and down like she was a pair of billows being squeezed, and the pained cries that came out of her sounded like such.

N’s eyes went wide as he witnessed Uzi, for one of the few times he had ever seen, completely fall to pieces in his arms. He was initially at a loss on what to do. She had had down days before, but recently they appeared more frequent, so maybe this had resulted from bottling up some unresolved feelings in her.

Well N wouldn’t allow it any longer.

“Hey hey, you don’t have to apologise, Uzi. I’m here. You’re safe. Take all the time you need.” N sighed as he slowly lowered both of them onto the roof, finding a comfortable spot before wrapping his wings around both of them, hoping that it would both protect them from the elements, and provide Uzi with a cozy space to decompress.

Speaking of her, Uzi was still crying loudly, though not as extreme as before. Her hands were grasping N’s back tightly, as if he was going to get carried away by a gust of wind, but really, she just didn’t want him to leave her. N seemed to notice this, and so he lightly tugged at Uzi’s beanie.

“Can I take this off, buddy?” N quietly asked Uzi, who gave a brief nod in response. So N slid off her signature headwear and began running his hands through her purple hair.

“I’m not going anywhere, Uz.”

Both the physical touch and those words seemed to finally start relaxing Uzi, whose grip on N loosened, along with her slowly diminishing cries, now turning into small chokes and hitched breaths. N took his hands from her head and started rubbing small circles into her back, which he knew from experience was a point of physical tension for her, due to her wings.

Uzi let out a stuttering sigh as she sunk even further into N’s embrace, who began smiling at her.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” He asked with a hopeful tone.

A muffled hum of conformation was all that could be heard as the two lay there, the lonely, cold feeling slowly melting away.

It went like this for a long time, before eventually, N felt Uzi’s hands tapping at his back. Knowing what this signalled, N raised his arms and tucked in his wings, allowing Uzi to sit up and for N to get a good look at her face.

Her eyes were low and tired, with small bags underneath them, and tears still hung from the edges and occasionally fell down like dew from trees in the morning.

It broke N’s heart.

“Oh Uzi…” He murmured, unable to contain how disheartened he was to see her in such clear anguish.

Uzi let out a chuckle that didn’t really have any mirth behind it.

“Let me guess,” Uzi sighed in a croaky voice, “I look like absolute crap, don’t I?”

N huffed a little. He hated how hard on herself she was sometimes.

“You’ve…seen better days.” He gently confessed. “But you don’t look that bad.”

He then put his hand over Uzi’s and intertwined his fingers with hers.

“And I’m more concerned with how you feel, and how you’ve been feeling lately.”

He gave her a caring look as she stared up at him.

“So, please tell me what’s going on. Because as much as I have good people skills, at least I hope, I’m not a mind reader. So please tell me what’s happening up there.” He placed a finger on her head as he said this.

Uzi looked at N for a moment with an unreadable expression, except for tiredness and sorrow. Finally, she sighed and explained.

“I’m… too dangerous, N.” She lamented, her voice dripping with defeat.

“Every second I’m alive I’m putting all of you in danger. I act like I’m this cool, damaged, hero that managed to defeat this…thing once and for all, but in reality, it’s a constant struggle, one that’s constantly wearing me down and when I let my guard down for even a moment, people get killed! Which only proves my point.”

N kept a focussed look on her, making sure she knew that he was truly listening.

“On top of that,” she continued, “I feel so, so guilty, N! Not just for all the drones I’ve killed, like at the camp, or the bunker a few weeks ago, but also for the fact that I’m putting the people closest to me in danger with just my existence! People like V, mom, dad and…and…” Uzi took a breath and looked N in the eyes, the immense guilt she felt being painted all over.

“Well, you.”

N’s jaw slacked ever so slightly as he began to understand the full gravity of Uzi’s situation, mainly because the guilt of hurting others, and the fear of hurting your loved ones in the future were feelings that he was all too familiar with.

Uzi continued.

“So I ran away. Because I don’t want to be a danger to you guys. And, I hoped that eventually, somehow, it would all end.”

Uzi closed her eyes as she took another breath in, fighting her stinging eyes as she forced out the last words.

“Because I’m tired of feeling scared. I’m tired of feeling guilty. I’m tired of fighting.”

Uzi’s voice cracked as tears started falling again, though not as much as before.

“I can’t keep going.”

Uzi closed her eyes again as she tried to fight back tears and sucked in air to get ground herself. But then, she felt something snake wrap itself around her tail, which she didn’t even know was out. She looked to the side and saw that N’s tail had wrapped around hers, the nanite acid canister casting a small but strong yellow light against Uzi’s multi-eyed flesh head.

Uzi then froze and her eyes went wide as she felt a gentle, pleasant sensation on her head, one that emitted a small feeling of electricity. She looked up and saw N leaning over as he placed a kiss on her forehead, lingering in stillness for a moment, before pulling back, looking at Uzi, his face soft yet determined, and declaring:

“I believe in you.”

Uzi was frozen, her mouth opening and closing slightly as she considered what to say. Admittedly, an angry, broken half of her wanted to be like, “Really? “I believe in you”? That’s the best you could come up with!?” She wanted to just let out her frustrations further, releasing it at anyone close by.

However, this side of her was at war with the part of her that knew that N was just trying his best, and that he didn’t deserve any angry words from her. He was always good at helping her chill out.

But she still wanted to scream, to yell, to just put the storm in her head out into the world so that it wouldn’t bother her anymore. But she couldn’t bring herself to put in on N. Not him. Which is why she stayed speechless in the brief silence, which was broken once N continued:

“Now I know it’s cliche, but I truly do believe in you. You are the strongest, bravest, most incredible drone I’ve ever met. You and I have been through a lot, like, a lot a lot. Things that, I don’t think most drones would be able to make it through in one piece.”

N’s eyes flicked down for a second, before turning back to Uzi as he continued.

“But you’re not ‘most drones’, you’re Uzi Doorman! And look at you! Still breathing! Still living!” N’s voice took on a renewed vigor as he motioned to Uzi.

“And I have full faith that you can continue down this hard path, because you’ve done it before.”

N stopped and took both of Uzi’s hands in his, before taking a deep breath and continuing.

“Buuuuut, you also got help with your previous journey by reaching out to the people around you. And so I think it’s very important that you continue to ask for help when you need it, especially in moments like these.”

N’s expression saddened and his voice became quieter and laced with worry.

“Please don’t isolate yourself,” he pleaded. “You don’t have to carry this burden alone. I and others will support you, so you don’t have to feel like giving up. Because you shouldn’t ever take that option.”

N scooted towards Uzi a little, before concluding with:

“We’d all miss you.”

N looked at Uzi, trying to gauge her response to his little speech. Uzi looked up at N, staring at him with a soft but constant gaze, before looking down forward with a hundred yard stare, and raising her arms, gesturing to N for a hug.

Without another word, N leaned downwards and wrapped his arms around the purple drone, taking her in his arms as he rested his head on her hair, making both of them feel soft and warm on the inside. At least, as soft and warm as they could feel right after an emotional moment like this.

The peaceful silence that followed was only broken by Uzi breathing out a small but noticeable “Thank you”, to which N tightened his grip slightly and said, “No worries, Uzi.”

“Oh, where is it?!” N’s eyes scanned the night sky as he searched for the Canis Major constellation, which was nowhere to be found amongst the sea of stars. “I’m sure it was right here! Tessa would sometimes bring us out stargazing when she could sneak out at night, and the “Greater Dog” constellation was always my favourite!”

Uzi, who was lying beside him on the cabin roof, gave a small chuckle.

“Suits you.” She acknowledged. “But N, you know that you saw those from Earth, and that Copper-9 is like, many many light years away from Earth, so the constellations here look very different, right?”

N’s eyes widened as if he was having a revelation, before giving himself a good facepalm.

“OH! Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?”

“It’s alright, dude.” Uzi assured. “According to mom, when drones first became free here, we looked for the same earth constellations because of the pictures in books left behind.”

Uzi turned towards the stars, her face glazing over in peace.

“Once we figured out the stars were different, we decided to make up our own images. Heck, I’ve made my own one that no one else knows about!”

N’s widened as he focused on Uzi.

“Really? That’s awesome! Where is it?”

Uzi, whose face had broken into a wide grin at how N took such interest in this, started looking around the dark, before her eyes settled on a patch of stars that vaguely resembled a quadrupedal animal with a square nose.

“Over there!” she exclaimed as she pointed at the patch. “I call it the ‘baby cow’ constellation! Can you see it?”

N tried, squinting his eyes really hard, but alas, to no avail.

“Sorry Uzi,” he sighed dejectedly, “I can’t see it.”

“Oh come on!” Uzi urged, “It’s right there, I’ll show you!”

With that, she grabbed N’s pointing arm and directed it towards her target, before moving it to point at each feature.

“See? Those are its legs, with its little hooves, and that’s its cute nose!”

N squinted again, before his face lit up with delight.

“Oh I see it!” he beamed, “It’s so cute!”

Uzi’s face also broke in delight, looking at N as he turned his head back to her.

“Though, if you don’t mind me asking,” N inquired, “What made you see a calf?”

Uzi’s face wrinkled in thought, before her eyes darted left and right to see if anyone else was around.

“Well N,” Uzi confessed as she leaned closer to him, “The truth is, I actually find them to be frickin’ adorable!”

“Oh really?” N playfully asked with a big smile on his face.

“Yeah. I’ve got, like, a folder in my locker filled with photos of just them.”

Uzi’s face grew serious as she pointed to N.

“I’ve never told anyone else this, and I swear, if you tell anyone else that, I’ll kick your butt!”

N defensively put his hands up.

“Okay, okay!” N conceded, “I promise you I won’t tell anyone else. It’ll be our secret.”

N made the gesture of zipping his lips and then placed his hand over his core as a sign of his promise.

Uzi giggled.

“I know, dork. I trust you.”

She spoke those words with a true sincerity as the two shifted to their sides as they faced each other, one of their hands paired with the other as they lay in silence, both of them becoming aware of the slight breeze that gently swayed their intertwined tails hanging over the edge.

Uzi continued, her face becoming absorbed in the recollection of a memory.

“When I was a very little kid, my mom once took me stargazing. She showed me the most amazing images in the sky, and one of them was that calf constellation, as she knew how much I liked them. Well, as much as a little pill baby can giggle at a picture of something.”

Uzi’s voice had taken on a soft tone and slow pace as she recalled her past, one that she didn’t really look back on fondly, or at all, often. N simply watched her, his gaze steady but gentle as he let her take her time.

Uzi swallowed before continuing.

“Once she…’died’, and we couldn’t go out anymore, I only ever got to see the structure in either school books, where it wasn’t even listed, or in person when I occasionally snuck out.”

“But I always got in so much trouble, so eventually I stopped doing it, and was left with just the books. Everyone made fun of me for seeing it, but they didn’t understand. That constellation was a reminder to me of a better time, back when everything was okay, when everything made sense, when…when I wasn’t alone.”

N’s face had taken on a downcast expression as he watched his girlfriend’s sullen face, only for it to take on some light again.

“All these years later, I still see it. But, I don’t think I need it to make me feel not alone. Because, really, I’m not alone anymore!”

As Uzi’s smile returned, so did N’s.

“I mean, my mom’s back. Me and dad are finally on, well, okay terms. I’ve got V, who I’ll admit, is pretty cool. And best of all…”

Uzi’s eyes locked on N.

“I’ve got you.”

N’s eyes lit up with adoration as he watched Uzi continue to say her piece.

“Someone who doesn’t treat me like a freak, who truly enjoys my company. Someone who has stuck with me despite everything we’ve been through, and continues to stand by my side. Someone, who has given me a sense of understanding, acceptance and belonging, something that I never thought I’d have.”

Uzi shuffled even closer to N, who did the same, with the distance between them being barely a few inches.

“I can’t imagine a better person to spend my life with.”

“Aw Uzi.” N breathed, clearly filled with joy.

“Thank you, N.” Uzi uttered as she wrapped her arms around N and pulled him in, so that their foreheads were touching.

“Thank you so much.”

N could feel N shake a little from how happy he was, and his happiness was evident from his content tone when he said:

“It’s been a total honour, Uzi.”

The two looked at each other, admiring the joyful look in each eyes, before Uzi looked down to N’s lips.

“Can…I?” Uzi stuttered.

N quickly nodded his head.

“Yes. Please…” his voice wavering slightly.

The pair closed their eyes, Uzi closed the distance and brought her lips onto N’s. This was their first ever kiss, and Uzi had recently wondered how it would feel. Considering how much N meant to her, she’d imagine that it would feel pretty good.

But nothing could’ve prepared her for just how amazing it felt as she felt N’s lips slide onto her own. How nice it felt as she could feel N’s mouth curve into a smile as it went on. It was amazing to think that she could make him so happy.

She didn’t want this to end, she didn’t want to let go, shown clearly in how she tightened her grip and pressed her hands firmly on N’s back.

She had never felt such completeness in her life.

Eventually, they broke their connection to give their vents a moment to breathe again. Uzi was panting slightly and she looked up to see N doing the same, before looking at her with a look of love and affection.

“H-How was that, Uzi?” N stammered, his mind still coming down from cloud 9, “Because I thought it was pretty good myself!”

Uzi simply hugged N again, tucking her head into the crook of his neck.

“I love you, N.” she declared, “I love you so, so much.”

N hugged Uzi and gripped her tightly, bring one his legs over her own.

“I love you too, Uzi.” He sighed contently, “More than anything.”

The two stayed huddled together like that for a good, long while, before separating slightly, N fully lying on his back with his left arm behind Uzi, pulling her into his side as she draped her left arm over his chest.

“I’m very grateful for you, N, and how you came into my life.” Uzi broke the silence after a while.

N looked down at her, chuckling.

“Thanks Uzi.” N happily replied, “That’s wonderful to hear.”

“No seriously.” Uzi emphasised, “I can’t tell you the positive impact you’ve had on me. After what felt like a lifetime of being alone, outcasted, and unloved…”

Uzi paused, a part of her cringing at what she was about to say, but the better part of her deciding “screw it, I’ll say it anyway.”

“You showed what love should be.”

N looked at Uzi, meeting her eyes with his own, before responding with his own lovey dovey words that he had no problem saying:

“You deserve nothing less.”

Uzi giggled and gave N a little kiss on his jaw before settling back down, closing her eyes as she basked in the moment, content on simply enjoying N’s presence. N was happy to do the same with Uzi, closing his eyes as the pair sat under the now clear night sky.

Uzi, for once, felt completely at peace in that instance. She didn’t have any negative feelings or thoughts weighing on her. She felt…happy. Whole. She felt that even if the road ahead was still long and rough, it wouldn’t be as rough as it used to be, because she finally had others she could rely on.

Someone else.

Someone like N, who was always there for her.

Even during her bad days.

Really hope you enjoyed! If you did, reblogs would be appreciated!

(P.S. For those who are wondering about the ‘baby cow’ thing in the 6th part, it’s based off a behind-the-scenes detail from Glitch Inn)

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