rikanmiuki

[rikanmiuki]

the lesson I'm taking away from this election is not that the Democrats need to become more left wing or more right wing but moreso that they need to find a way to cater their rhetoric towards people who genuinly have no idea what is going on. the target audience for every speech and political appearance should be someone who doesn't know what the three branches of government are because they were drawing a Cool S during high school civics

[rikanmiuki]

i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping

[rikanmiuki]

crazy thang is whenever someone makes a post talkng about how xyz thing annoys them someone will always go 'oh so we're not even allowed to do [thing] anymore??' like no you literally can. that person just will not like you. if that is enough to stop you then its not that youre not allowed its that you are not capable of existing outside of the approval of others

[rikanmiuki]

[rikanmiuki]

[rikanmiuki]

"craving a food means your body needs something that food can offer" now what the fuck does my body need with an ice cream

[rikanmiuki]

Some wild shit goes on in ppls lives

[rikanmiuki]

[rikanmiuki]

We owe it all to them.

[rikanmiuki]

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

[rikanmiuki]

when i post yet more bullshit about my self-indulgent au that only appeals to me and like 3 of my followers

[ID: A screenshot from a youtube video showing an old person sitting in front of a laptop, smiling towards the camera, with the video entitled, “Another great idea from me!!” with the word “me” in all caps. End ID.]

[rikanmiuki]

I’m sitting in a coffee shop right now, and there’s a teenage boy and girl (I’d say about 16-17) sitting at the next table over. At first I thought they were on a date, but actually the exact opposite is happening - no, not a breakup. I mean they’re talking about the fact that they both have a crush on the same girl. Currently they’re very earnestly debating whether they should ask her out one after another or if they should go together like in that one episode of Community.

[rikanmiuki]

For the last decade or so, I’ve been routinely attending a ride-on lawnmower race. I’ve always wanted to participate, but the high cost of used mowers is better spent on more practical vehicles, like literally anything else. Sometimes, though, the universe sends you a message. And in my case, that message came in the form of an awkward leg of a huge trade-in scam.

Picture, if you will, the humble redneck. They await the approach of big, fast domestic mowers. John Deeres, Cub Cadets, even weird modified Chinese stuff they looted from Aliexpress. There is jubilance, but that soon comes to an awkward hush. An unfamiliar engine note approaches.

My International 1480 combine harvester, all ten tons of it, is barrelling down the highway at a clip somewhere between “tepid” and “jaunty.” Even though I have shown up for a race, I am sandbagging a little bit, making sure that the bets get settled against my vehicle before I show them the might of a fully operational monster such as mine.

Technically, there is no violation. I had looked at the rulebook from every angle in the previous year: it has the correct number of wheels, the proper agricultural intent, and with precise work on the tiller, it can even (poorly) mow a suburban lawn. Is it modified? Oh yes, yes indeed, but I see the nitrous bottles poking out from the rows of Kubotas at the starting line.

And when I leave the starting line, it is a thing of beauty. At least for a few milliseconds. It seems that the wizards at International Harvester simply did not comprehend of a situation in which the frame of their combine would be launched into the air by means of one thousand eight hundred foot-pounds of supercharger-bolstered torque. I had erroneously believed that the loose soil of the rural community would let the wheels dip in, but now I am facing directly into the sky, having twelve o’ clocked hard on my wheelie, shooting flames from my exhaust and whirling vertical blades of death towards the grandstand.

It’s not about whether you win or lose. Sometimes it’s about how many pages you add to the rulebook.

[rikanmiuki]

[rikanmiuki]

[rikanmiuki]