rheannethoughts-blog

[rheannethoughts-blog]

Let's talk about Love

"You promised to stay...but you left."

- from the one you left behind

How many years was it? Two years? Three Years? I lost counts. You told me you will never left. You told me I would never be alone. You promised you will stay...but you left, you left without saying goodbye. Until now, I am still hoping that it was just one of my nightmares...still hoping that if I would slowly open my eyes you're still there, looking intently at me flashing your sweet smile that could make my heart flutter.

Elena D. Sacay, 1948-2017...that's how the engraven words read. She was my confidant amidst the whirlwind of perils I faced, she was my foundation in every battle that I fought and she was my grandmother, the one who left me without saying goodbye.

"Lola's girl" this word best described me. Three years ago, I am that innocent young lady who cannot live life without her voice guiding me what to do and what not to do. I can't imagine myself waking up in the morning without her by my side. A lot of people would say that she's a cold hearted woman, but she's not...she never was. She loved me without asking anything in return, she would give me things that I would love to have and she sacrificed things for me.

As darkness invaded, I always saw her sitting beside me counting her remaining money and listing the figures of the bill that she needed to pay. It clenched my heart everytime I would see her tears made its way down to her cheeks as she realized the money in her hand was not enough. I pretend that I am in a deep sleep, but I witnessed it all...her bitter-smile, her tears and her prayers. I promised myself to give her the things that she wanted once I finished my studies, but sometimes things didn't go the way we planned. She was chased by time as the calendar flipped its pages in December. My grandmother was diagnosed with diabetes, they, the doctors needed to cut her right leg to stop it from damaging her entire body. Her glow faded everyday and the most painful was, she can no longer recognized who I was. I wanted to tell her that I am her "paboritong apo" , the one she shared the bed with, the one who would give her milk every morning, the one she hugged every night and the who missed her so bad....but I can't do nothing else but to stare at her and witness how she suffered every single day.

I can still vividly remember the tubes that was all around her body, the blood that kept on flowing from her mouth and her eyes...you could see nothing else but pain, full of beginning but without an end. My tears slowly crept as she looked at me in my eyes, she was not able to utter any words but deep in my heart I knew she recognized who I was. Her eyes was telling me how much she loved me, how much she wanted to see me reached my goal and how much she wanted to fight to be on my side. As my lips curved into a sweet smile, she slowly closed her eyes and the machine beeps.

She promised to stay but she left, she left me without saying goodbye....but then I realized if she bid goodbye that time, I can't let her go. I missed her every single day but the love that she left me was the one that inspired me from continuing my journey. Yes she left, but I know she's up there watching me with a beautiful smile in her face telling them, "Yes, that's my paboritong apo."

[rheannethoughts-blog]

Let's talk about Love

"Love without sacrifice is nothing."

-President Gordon B. Hinckley

Five years ago, the little boy with an innocent smile played with his toy car. Swooshing and whipping all around the house pretending it was flying with him.His tears would slowly crept as he forgot where he left his favorite toy car, and his lips, lovely as it was would slowly form a smile as his hands would touch his toy car again... but Rhoda Sacay, the mother of this lovely kid did not have the chance to witness this all. She felt like skipping a whole chapter in the book of life...a chapter every mother would love to experience.

For five years, the pillows were her friend. Everytime she would miss the warmth of her family's hug, she would just hug the pillow tightly thinking it was them, her kids hugging her. Feeling homesick did not escaped her, everytime she felt like going home, she would tap her cellularphone to reach them, to hear them, to talk to them....even just for a single moment. She sacrificed her happiness for her own kids. She decided to leave them to provide and sustain their needs. She was not able to witness a whole chapter of her kids' life because she was the one giving them, her kids a wonderful story of life.

She has been an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) for five years now.Graduation, Birthdays, Christmas and New Year, this whole chapter passed like a whirlwind in her life leaving her pictures of what had happened, pictures without her in it. She had four kids, two admirable ladies, 18 and 19 and two lovely gentlemen, 6 and 14. They were five years younger when she left, she remembered them as innocent kids yearning for a mother's love. The cry of his youngest son as she decided to take a different path clenched her heart, it was like a pain full of beginning but without an end, but she knew she had to do it. Her love, a mother's love for her children made her do it.

Being an OFW was not easy and will never be easy. You need to fight the battle alone, you need to cry alone and you need to keep moving forward...alone. Rhoda Sacay was one of those mothers who would choose to sacrifice everything she have for the happiness of her children. A mother didn't have a day-off and they don't have the chance to retire and git rid from being a mother. Their sacrifices were a living testament that could testify how great was their love for their family.This may sound a bit of a cliche' but mothers, the one giving light to the family were the ones who would lit the dying fire inside everytime you feel like giving up.

[rheannethoughts-blog]

Let's talk about Love

Love....

This word can give you a sweet meaningful smile. A smile that symbolizes the most important persons in your life. Admit it or not, if you hear the word love, butterflies in your stomach would start flying from one place to another proclaiming its existence. Not just that, you could feel your cheeks burning.

They say, love is the most wonderful thing in the world. It could turn your world upside down, it is the reason behind your sleepless nights and it is the thing that keeps you going. Imagine yourself waking up in the morning with a thought, " Somebody out there loves me despite of my imperfections." ( What a wonderful day isn't it?)

Now, one of the hidden reasons why you don't seem to appreciate the beauty of love is because you always look for what is lacking. You always expect for something that is not going to happen. Love is not defined by two perfect people loving each other... Love is defined by the people arround you willing to accept all the faults and scars that you have.

You don't have to wait for Alladin, and other disney princes that made you believe in happily ever after. You already have it. Yes, you heard it right! You are loved, maybe not by the person you truly love but by the persons who truly love you. Your friends and family define the word love. It may not be a romantic love, but it is the kind of love that lasts. A kind of love that doesn't expect something in return, and a kind of love that can give you genuine happiness and assurance that at the end of the day you have someone who will stay and someone who will never left you without the guarantee of coming back.

Now, we are talking about Love.