rheaamyett

[rheaamyett]

I opened this to write about last week only to see I had already written something similar, or at least the beginning stages of another new thing/phase of my life.

I spent a whole week with Brandon for the first time and for his birthday week! When Autumn was in town we had been together for that long too but this time without that having company feeling. One thing I’ve noticed all this time is that Brandon and I weren’t on the exact wave length when it came to saying goodbye. It was always like the classic young love type goodbye for me, an almost sad thing and not really for him. Not that he wanted to say goodbye but he just saw the good sides of the daily and un preventable thing. I never took it personally because I just knew he didn’t take being alone for granted anymore, he can fill up his alone time in the best ways. BUT the other night after coming home and almost every night since he’s mentioned he misses me and he doesn’t like me not being at the house. I laughed and told him I thought I’d never hear him say that. I just think it is truly incredible how a connection can just dig and grow deeper and deeper after being so intense in the first place.

It gives me a lot of glee knowing he truly and deeply misses me after a day of seeing him. Not that I want to be that dependent classic young couple but I’m just so glad not only do I not disrupt any part of his day by being with him on the daily but he misses me after it all.

The Bystander, London, October 19, 1904

[rheaamyett]

The most accurately named restaurant I’ve ever experienced... Happy Bowl! I was so freaking happy while eating this bowl of yellow curry.

The name and the look of the entire place completely hooked me when we drove by the first time. I felt it could either be a little creepy or the absolute perfect whole in the wall so on the way to take prom pictures for Aidan and Keara, I asked Brandon if he had ever been. He had and he said Greg goes there like three times a week! After pictures at the church (the weather had been stormy and rainy all day, so we had to take them inside) we were driving that road home again and I saw Happy Bowl again and we kept talking about it. I was like, “do you want to go right now?” So we turned around and oh my goodness, this is going to be one of my favorite memories. Just look at the food and that setting:

4.13.19, SATURDAY

[rheaamyett]

I must have been up to a lot with my camera this time several years ago because I keep getting this nostalgic feeling about photos. I would like to find an easy routine that involves carrying a camera around with me AND having actual prints made. I would like something that is a little cheaper and bigger than my instax I think... I will ask Brandon.

4.10.19, WEDNESDAY

…by Ryu’s Photo on Flickr

[rheaamyett]

Yesterday Brandon and I spent a Monday together (which I could literally count on one hand the times that has happened.) He was going to get that gear tattoo inspired by... us. But one thing led to another and I think he will try the Blue Rose. While loading up into Ol’ Blue before heading to the tattoo parlor two boys received a real treat by hearing Brandon and I’s conversation—Brandon loudly saying how beautiful I looked that day, that he kept wanting to... something about (code: jumping those things in skeletons.) I noticed them as we were about to drive away. The rest of the day was slow and easy and perfect—I tried my first sour beer, talked tattoos for me and then we went to R Taco and we know what happens when I get a Margarita at R Taco. (This time specifically I floated out with that amazing tipsy feeling only to ask Brandon if we could stop - and fast - so I could pee.) He stood by me while we waited for a Sonic employee to unlock their bathroom and I very calmly tried not to pee myself. I was so peaceful about it all, tequila is amazing. That night I really looked and sat with the moon for the first time since starting Moonbeams I believe and he looked just a tiny bit more new and significant to me. He was a perfect sliver, hanging low and obvious with stars all around.I’m dreaming up a tattoo for the first time. It has something to do with the quote I have posted to the bio here in this online journal, “Some days are like miracle flowers that open in the garden from plants you didn’t expect to bloom at all.”

4.8.19, MONDAY

[rheaamyett]

Before I write a current entry, there was something I wanted to remember from the day I recorded the video of Aidan living his best life. Brandon and I were on our way to meet mom and Alek for dinner at McAllisters and as we turned into the parking lot I realized it was the same parking lot that he had pulled into several weeks ago because I’d suddenly started crying (AND right before we were going to meet mom.)

Pulling in this night though he asked me to jog his memory on why I’d started crying those nights ago (I’d never told him exactly why) and I said, “Because you’d basically asked me to marry you by asking me if I was sure I wanted to marry you.” And then, instead of reminiscing or elaborating on the memory and risking making it a thing we had a simpatico moment and he said, “Hurry let’s talk about something else.” And we both started jibber jabbering nonsense words.

4.6.19, SATURDAY

[rheaamyett]

Aidan living his best life trying to trick Brandon into saying:

Mike

Who

Cheese

Hairy

4.6.19, SATURDAY

[rheaamyett]

Around this time last year I started writing in my Fran Planner/journal pretty much dutifully and obsessively. A year later and I can almost never sit down and write, I mostly want to sit and draw. But I do love a good tumblr account and this way I can also preserve the pictures and videos that go with the day as well as write while on the move.

Being with Brandon has always encouraged me to save-save-save our experiences, the little things, the dates but at the same time, I don’t want to be on my phone much with him so a lot of days don’t get a photo to go with it. I would like to at least write about some of these days when that happens.

There are so many ways Brandon is rubbing off on me. It is very natural for me to live anywhere but here, being overly sentimental and longing for the good old days and at other times living for the day I’ll be an old woman living in my Beatrix Potter house. Brandon exudes and lives everything in the moment—in the present. Being around someone like that is balancing me out, I don’t need to feverishly document the good days and that is freeing but because of that I am not writing about my day to day at all. I don’t want completely forget all of the little things so maybe here, I can jot down some as I sit in Brandon’s truck waiting for him outside the office and that old sentimental habit strikes and I want to save-save-save again.

[rheaamyett]

[rheaamyett]

I don’t know just how long I sat on the front steps all by myself bathed a perfect flood of moonlight and loneliness. It was not a bit of comfort to hear and Aunt Adeline snoring away in her room down the dark hall. It takes the greatest congeniality to make a person’s snoring a pleasure to anybody and and Aunt Adaline and I are not that way.

The Melting of Molly by Maria Thompson Daviess, pg. 14

[rheaamyett]

It will be a full moon tonight.

Which actually means, it’s time to be bathed in a perfect flood of (whatever the opposite word for scattered would be.)

But all in all, because I get stiff in my joints with dependence on people at times, this new ritual of sitting with the moon and God and the thoughts I wasn’t paying attention to tidies up my mind and heart to see I cannot be scattered and whole.

I will write love

On the ceiling

If I must

Just so you see it

When you wake up

And I will paint

Skyscrapers in Razzmatazz

And Vivid Tangerine

Just so you remember

What it is to laugh

And I will find you

Completely whole again

Unbroken and unbridled

Loved for always

Loved for sure

-derelictdirigible

I feel like He specifically is giving me these thoughts to channel them through me to everything I touch. I often feel like I am shaking with the amount of care I have to give and I’ve never been able to cork it. I thought I needed to so I’ve been trying but today I realize it is His gift to me.

[rheaamyett]

God Knows All His Budding Things Need Encouragement

The Cottage at Night, Scilly   -    Kurt Jackson

British, b.1961-

Acrylic on cardboard.  15.5 x 17cm (6 1/8 x 6 11/16in).

“Then before I went into the house I assembled my garden and had family prayers with my flowers. I do that because they are all the family I’ve got, and God knows that all His budding things need encouragement, whether it is a widow or a snowball-bush. He’ll give it to us!

And I’m praying again as I sit here and watch for the doctor’s light to go out. I hate to go to sleep and leave it burning, for he sits up so late and he is so gaunt and tired-looking most times. That’s what the last prayer is about, almost always,—sleep for him and no night call!”—The Melting of Molly, pg. 21-22 by Maria Thompson Daviess

[rheaamyett]

[rheaamyett]

My Beatrix Potter House

I just stumbled upon an article about the house that was built for the new Peter Rabbit movie to represent a version of Beatrix Potter’s house, and it is basically what I’ve been designing in my head for my future tiny house.

I’ve always said I want a Beatrix Potter house-meaning I want a version of it because her house is quite big and on the dark side.

The article mentioned they also wanted to design a house that was a little more whimsical and light, look how sweet it is:

I think what I would do differently is change the dormer to this:

And steeper/deeper roof for an upstairs room, I would not use it much but I think that extra room would be important. So, if I did have an upstairs room the design of the stairs/closets (probably one of the only closets in the house) would be set to the side of the living room like this:

I like how the stairs are to the right and I imagine the the walkway to my bedroom is to the right which then leads to another entrance the studio just like in the house from the movie, but you can access the studio from the living room too. I know a lot of people like open rooms but I like small closed off rooms with hallways and low ceilings. I think I would do the stove thing in a fireplace:

Proportionally the main part of the house, I imagine a lot bigger than the movie version because I think the living room would be the left-front half of the house then the left back half would be the kitchen. There’s something I like about swinging doors that lead to the kitchen... people like being able to talk to who ever is in the kitchen while sitting in the living room but I think I’d rather just make the dining room pleasant enough for people to want to sit in there to socialize too. That also helps make the living room more like a potential bedroom for kidies, Beatrix potter often has a bed in interesting places:

 I want a very kitcheny, kitchen:

Like the kitchen in Arsenic and Old Lace. I might need to move the stove to share a wall with the kitchen and share it with the living room and kitchen, I don’t know if they make stoves that open from two sides.

I would love some skylight windows if that doesn’t interfere with the upstairs and a large table.

The dining room leads to the back pop out behind the studio (as pictured in the movie version of the house.) In that pop out the left bit that overlaps the dining room to the back holds the bathroom and then the right 3/4′s is my bedroom. I don’t think I need a utility room because Dad would always put the washer and dryer in random places in our cabins. Probably stacked in the bathroom. But I imagine the bedroom not too huge like this:

Leading out to the studio. The studio in the movie version of the house doesn’t have a roof maybe? But I’d want a roof, just windows all over like a closed in porch/sunroom.

All this is going to change probably but this is what I’ve imagined up so far. Oh, lastly, the upstairs, maybe a potential hubby man cave that doubles as a guest room:

SO it is basically four bedroom one bath if you include the studio and living room, haha. I really want to have company and family stay over. I mostly want to figure out how the back pop out/my bedroom connects the the main house as shown in the movie version of the house. I’d love the see a photo from the back. Actually on second thought, the main house might should just be living room and upstairs mostly (so doesn’t have to be as big and then the back pop out should run along the length of the living room and include the kitchen/dining room and my bedroom and bath. That was there definitely can be skylights in  the kitchen and maybe a bathroom upstairs...

Anyhow, I’ll keep building this attainable dream house in my lil head. I do feel it is attainable... if Dad could draw and build it for me!! 

[rheaamyett]

Nothing is yet in it’s true form.                                  it’s                                Nothing is yet in ___ true form.

Parker Fitzgerald

[rheaamyett]

Aunt Mouse

It is so interesting that by the time I’m starting to figure out what happened in me after Julie got married, I hear I am an Aunt Mouse! Doors closing and opening. 

“To my dying day I’ll never forget that house, just two tiny rooms, but they were clean and quiet and a girl with the sweetest face I ever saw lay in the bed with her eyes bright with pride and a tiny, tiny little bundle close beside her...

‘It won’t hurt him to stay bundled up until granny comes will it, Doc?’

‘Not a bit,’ answered Doctor John in his big comforting voice.

But I looked at the girl and I understood her. She wanted that baby clean and fresh even if it was just five days old, and I felt all of a sudden terribly capable. I picked up the bundle and went into the other room with it where a kettle was boiling on the stove and a large bucket by the door. I found things by just a glance from her, and the hour I spent with that small baby was one of the most delicious of all my life. I never was left entirely to myself with one before and I did all I wanted to with this one, guided by instinct and desire. He slept right through and was the darlingest thing I ever saw when I laid him back on the bed by her.”—The Melting of Molly, pg. 107-108, Maria Thompson Daviess

Julie has always called me mouse because of something she said at our first sleepover. Something along the lines of her saying I reminded her of a little mouse going around patting people on their heads.

Julie and I are as close as can be, living so far from each other, and we always pick up where we left off. I think there are different layers of kindred spirits that I didn’t touch on in the last post. I think in that one I was talking about the kind that seek each other out on a weekly to daily basis and except for that little detail we are as close as ever. I guess it is my loneliness cropping up when I talk about missing the other kind of kindredness.

But look at this little biddie, I am dying to let him know he has an Aunt Mouse to have and to hold him.

[rheaamyett]

Over Paradise Ridge, pg. 67

‘“Say, Bettykin, what do you think of that for good land?” And as he looked back at the great square of black earth he had upturned, Sam’s eyes flecked with the blue sky and snapped with enthusiasm.

“It looks good enough to eat,” I answered, with a strange dirt enthusiasm rising in me that I had never even heard of one’s having before.’—Maria Thompson Daviess

[rheaamyett]

2d animation <3

Roger and Anita - Milt Kahl