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REVIEW: PROGOAT - DIABOLI KULTUS - released 2024.

Let a drunk guy program a set of drum tracks without knowing what the guitarist is gonna play. Let now a drunk guitarist add ONE guitar track, miced up with his cell phone while he's in the rehearsal room using a broken speaker. Then add some pitch-shifted vocals, and repeat a half-ass solo here and there. Don't add a bass nor a rhythm guitar.

That's the first impression we get of this. Mind you, this is a one-man-act, so he can’t blame his band mates.

Lo-fi stuff can be raw, don’t get me wrong – it’s just that this isn’t. Imagine a plastic drum set that the muddy guitar can’t even bother to be synced with. It basically sounds stupid. Not raw, not aggressive, not evil. It doesn't matter if you have satanic imagery or call it raw black metal.

Move on to the last song and little has changed apart from the drums now have lost the snare. A sampled printer looped-over would've sounded more brutal. AND the same guitar solo is there again, the one we found in track #1.

This stuff is actually released on a CD. It shouldn't be. This would've been a pitiful release even if it were released in 1997.

1/10

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Why the Metal scene sucks: SFU - a case study

Once upon a time, Chris Barnes created Six Feet Under with Allen West (Then in Obituary). And it sounded like Chris Barnes was singing on an Obituary album. Fastforward a couple years, and you find out that there are no solid band members in SFU apart from Chris Barnes.

In any other case, we'd say that SFU wasn't a band, but rather a bunch of bands of that Chris Barnes did the vocals for. But no. Barnes treats SFU as a BRAND, not a band. There is no real thread in SFU apart from the songs to be simple in structure.

Then we have Jack Owen, who decided to leave Cannibal Corpse because "his heart wasn't in it anymore" (his own words). And that's fine. Owens then tried to make a splash with his rock band and it lead nowhere. (A shame IMO, the music was solid, but it's not commercially viable).

So Owens went to SFU. To play the most boring riffs you can do as a guitarist - because if you're doing tours with SFU, you have to play those old two-chord-per-riff-songs.

So what happened? Did Owens leave the biggest death metal band Cannibal Corpse because his heart wasn't in it - only to play Allen West riffs? Is this his passion? Writing lame-simple-half-ass-songs where Barnes can repeat a simple sentence over and over?

Of course not, it's money.

And Owens attempted to write a bunch of ear friendly songs for SFU, and together with Barnes he managed to create one of the most wellknown trainwreck of a death metal album ever.

And who's fault is all this?

It's your fkking fault.

It's because wankers see the logo SFU and think, cool, it's Barnes, this ought to be good and off they go, supporting that shit over and over, in the same way you have a bunch of idiots who go to Metallica concerts because they want to hear the early material, a sort of temporary reliving of their youth, and then they go home and live like wankers the rest of their lives.

Because SFU isn't a band. It's a brand.

Stop giving a damn about brands and dig into the real scene instead and we won't have McDonalds Metal.

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Yeah, I have to admit it. But this album is fucking awesome. I rarely like slam - and the fact is, this has all the stupid things at face value, a stupd band name, a stupid album cover - but unlike so many slam bands, this stuff has more than the predictable crap that's out there. They nail all breakdown and what not, and the vocalist is even varied in his different levels of bluurghing and gargling. Chunky riffs combined with variation. So if you don't like slam in general, give this a chance.

8/10.

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REVIEW: Evil Incarnate: 2023 Lucifer's Crown

If you don't know Evil Incarnate, you are either young, or somewhat of a twat. This recording has a filthier production even than the first album in 1999. Personally, the debut it's one of my favourites, and I reckoned Depopulation Agenda was E.I's weakest album.

So what to expect? Evil oldschool riffs with no fucking frills and a raspy voice, which still stands against the test of time considering that Mike has been handling the vox since 1997. Can one complain about the sound? The drums are clear, the guitar sufficiently clear, the bass is basically inaudible. Strange? No - because that's what happens when a drummer gets to mix the album. There are also some click sounds here that make this album seem more like a sloppily recorded demo. A sloppy approach considering it's a band with 25 years of studio experience. Still, the songs have the punch and evil grit and that's what counts. You'll have to crank up the volume though, probably best heard with beer.

For some reason, two labels released - resulting in two different album covers, both having "all rights reserved" .. huh. OK. well, fuck it anyway. https://tanatofobiaproductions.bandcamp.com/album/lucifers-crown

7/10

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It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr fukk ju 🥳

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Album review: Arise from Worms

What to expect when you have Flo Mournier on drums and Steve Tucker on vocals and bass? High-quality stuff. Unfortunately, this isn't the case. Start of with a standard 90s blackmetal intro á la some european pandabear band who're into vampires. And the beginning starts promising as fuck.

The guitarist Sonny Lombardozzi (ex-Incantation) is a shredding beast, but technical Death metal is about details fitting together. Now, remove the guitar leads and we have an above-standard set of riffs with some interesting rhythmical twists. It could've been really good. well-played drums and Tucker's vocals don't disappoint. The production is clear, unecessary clear which takes away brutality. Add the guitar leads and we get - something obnoxious. Yes, it's super fast. But it sounds more like someone recorded a guy who's showing how fast he can play scales and then demanded it got jammed into the tracks while flo is blasting. Sting of the bumblebee on PCP perhaps? And no, I'm not pissing on Technical music, I even like Blotted Science. But bluntly speaking, these solos sound ugly, and not in some evil creepy Deathmetal way, just ugly.

The most humorous part is when Tucker is roaring "Vengeance, in the name of my father...." I will avenge my brothers," .. (Satan forbid I read the rest of those cringy lyrics) followed by another solo/scale- played BOTH by guitar and bass while Flo is going into ultrablast. Technically speaking, yes we are impressed.

Musically speaking? It just sounds stupid, whatever feeling of brutality they build up, they ruin with smurflike solos and interludes. Had this been a bunch of fifteen year olds trying to find their sound, yes, it would've been forgivable. But these dudes - who are top-notch musicians and song writers, they ought to know better than making this.

2/10

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Two guys, only black corpse paint (not that panda shit) Bullet belts around your chest and posing in a graveyard. Sounds like something Beherit and Archgoat would do. And that's what this is, total Beherit/archgoat/blasphemy worship. Even the vocalist/guitarist/drummer chose the monicker Black Lord of Fire and Nocturnal Damnation.

Once in awhile the vox reminds me of the frenetic vocals á Black Witchery. The typical earily hyperblast (kick, snare and cymbal doing the exakt same thing) is here too, evoking the old crusty vibe -with the typical Beherit/archgoat riff' rule of no more notes than four per riff. Once in a while there's a half-ass-horror music track flick with a pitchshifted vocals that are supposed to be ominous or dark but they are mostly just stupid.Fortunately, these subcultural traditional intermissions aren't too long.

But surely, a mix of Black Witchery, Archgoat and Beherit ought to be pure killer? If you love those bands and don't mind hearing them altogether in a mix, yes, you'll love this. Apparently these goats have been doing this for ten years now and they sure are consistent with their delivery. I personally get I bored after three songs.

50/100

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One song. 12 minutes. Instrumental. Progressive-death/black? I don't know what to call it.

An original epic song: progressive drums, advanced basslines, riffs ranging from melodic deathmetal, USDM, BM - and morphing into episodes of Dark Ambient (?!).

Add to that, well-done guitar solos, some melodic, some eerie and even an organ and a piano solo?!

All in all, you end up with a trip. Production could be better though. 77/100

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Review: Scum Sedition - S/T

This was released in 2021 after having issues with a bunch of wankers who were offended by their previous band name (Tuol Sleng) and they changed name to Scum Sedition.

This band’s new songs are in the same vein as the ones released under that unpronounceable monicker, but are slightly better in my opinion. A bit varied in general, better executed.

Death metal with a sludgy vibe to it.Two vocalists, one growls, another screams – but still not as guttural as the slamming Matti Way-clones nor are the high screams the standard blackmetal screech either.

This band is original, because they’re not just rehashing the same old crap you’ve heard before – they’re doing something newer with it. The production is fucking perfect. Gritty and compact and the bass is far more pronounced than in any the average metal release, making the whole thing extra heavy.

I hope these guys don’t clean shit up in for their next release, because this sound is crushing.

A heavy slab of concrete right in your face leaving you wanting more.

89/100

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Nergal is half-right and has no self-insight.

Yes, Nergal is right about the metal scene being flooded with too many bands. And isn't it funny how he compares himself with Cliff Burton?

Well, he's right about there being too many bands. Back in the evil days when Black Metal was a dangerous subculture, lead by narcissistic sociopaths and evil-wannabees, it was more difficult to find extreme metal music. But even then, for those of use who traded tapes and bought demos, we sooner or later would have heard the same riffs over and over, seen the same stupid titles and standard photos. Behemoth was one of those bands. started out as blackmetal with the typical standard shitty sound and generic riffs á la Scandinavian black metal bands. Then it morphed into more skilled musicianship and started ripping off Morbid Angel riffs. And now, their recent album? A complete snore. Why? Because we've already heard that sort of stuff OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

So please, don't start a band that sounds like Behemoth. In fact, it woudl be better if Nergal stopped releasing metal too. The scene is too flooded. BUT the failure here is not the bands. It's the fact that the bands put out their music far too early. Labels release anything that is somewhat so-so. Instead, there should be higher demand from listeners and labels that the bands are UNIQUE..

So the best thing would be if labels became pickier instead of open to all kinds of generic crap just to fit their over-saturated genre, and it would be better if the bands waited with trying to release an album as soon as possible. Better release a killer debut than a generic one. Better release a killer demo of merely four tracks than an album of ten mediocre top of the mill crap.

Yes, and it would be better if many of the "giants" of today called it quits. And I get it, you like to play live - but really.. do you? do you like the play the same damn songs over and over because it's what the fans want to hear? Do you want squeese out an album every damn year because that's what the fans want and you thereby run out of material? Because you simply don't have enough time to let your creativity ripen into something interesting? Well, fuck those fans.

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Review: Slaughterday Tyrants of Doom

Slaughterday Tyrants of Doom

One has to give these guys some cred for having stolen an autopsy song as band monicker since Autopsy are one of the few DM bands that can still make good music – but with such a name, you still have to deliver the goods too. So don’t go Watain on me, please.

The intro is generic, nerdily inspired by 70/80ies horror flicks. Hardly surprising.

And there goes the first riff. Also a rip off from Autopsy. And there comes the vox. Also autopsy-inspired.

The semi-melodic doomy parts are somewhat original at least. These guys do have some parts here and there that sound interesting and are a genuinely good listen – but you have to go through loads of boredom to find them.

Strange. Judging by the guitar leads, they can obviously do more interesting things. Still they insist on a majority of rehashed riffs.

The drummer. on the other hand. is either incapable of doing interesting things or is just holding back. Who knows.

Hope these guys get to their senses.

20/100

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Review: Graceless - Chants from Purgatory

Graceless – Chants from Purgatory

The label and band calls it Death/doom. And sure. All the elements are there with low tuned guitars the low roaring vocals.

Another band that can handle their instruments and still choose to make generic music. The first song must’ve been written 10 minutes before recording or something.

So next song just about as uninspiring as anything else. It turns out this is album #3 by this band. I can’t stand track 2.

Jumping to #6 Nyctophilila. OK, so this is a change of pace. Doomier, sad, slower. But as generic and simple as before.

2-chord riffs are effective if your listener is fifteen. But by the time you’ve heard three bands doing this, there has to be some finesse about it. Graceless, do the opposite. They play exactly what you’d expect. As time progressed, I knew they’d move into double kick-drum with a melody, and it’s that same damn melody you hear over and over if you’ve ever listened to death/doom before.

This album is about as innovative as making a movie about some retired military/cop who has to go on one last mission because the bad guys kidnapped his wife/daughter.

15/100

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Faceless Burial - At the Foothills of Deliration

Faceless Burial

At the Foothills at Deliration

There’s a nerdy unwritten rule when one makes extreme metal musick. The more advanced stuff you play, the clearer sound someone will want in order to hear all the intricacies. This of course, comes at the cost of wimping out on the sound, or vice versa, cutting away the clarity. This is why we still haven’t got a video sound uptake that does Immolation live gigs any justice, and it’s the reason why scandinavian black metal gets away with rehearsal sounds.

Then we have these dudes, who said fuck it. Twisted technical stuff reminiscent of Pestilence, Death, Morbid Angel still combined with the murkiness of Incantation and throw in some Gorgutsian dissonance and even some melodic stuff. BUT with a constant renewal of riffs and intricacies.

And the sound? Perfect. Clear enough but still dark and no damn triggers or what not. I don’t know how they did it. But this sounds brutal, chaotic and dark. These guys also know that there is no damn point in rehashing the same song over and over like so many black metal or ultra-blast-guttural-bands do. This album requires several listens.

The overall product? An album that keeps you listening attentively and makes you yearn for the day Chtulu returns to end this world.

A bonus too that they got the Almighty Seagrave to make the cover.

90/100

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Review: Carnal Savagery (Swe) - Scent of Death

Carnal Savagery(SWE) – Scent of Death.

OSDM. Nothing new. The typical SweDeath distortion/metal zone distortion pedal.

Production could’ve been grittier and grimier considering how simple the riffs are. But hell, you’ve already heard this been done a gazillion times. This band has taken a recipe already tried so many times before and has followed it with no originality whatsoever. Surprisingly, it’s released on Moribund Records, a label that released so many gems in the past. Not this time though.

15/100