revealmytruestripes

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Ha. Thanks, Hecate, but I already made my own match on this cruise and I’m very, very happy with my own choice.

He’s so nice to me. Always has been, but, man it feels even better in this context

And the sex definitely wasn’t bad. Not bad at all. Looking forward to doing that again. But not just the sex. The kissing was nice. Fireworks for sure. And just...Being close to Josh. I find myself enjoying him...

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This with Josh feels good. Really good. I can’t wait to see where it leads, but, I’m also trying to stay present in the moment.

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Is this real? Am I dreaming? I didn’t expect this at all? Hoped for it? Yes. Imagined it? Definitely. But really didn’t think that confirming I do, in fact, date people outside of women was what it would take to get confirmation of the “friendly or flirty” debate going on in my head.

A date. Sound like the perfect thing for tonight. The perfect birthday gift. Just can’t get caught up in my head or in the past. This will be good. I’m excited.

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Asked Josh if he’d like to do something for my birthday since we’re both obligated to be on this cruise. He said yes and I’m excited about it. If I was home I would spend it with Siska or someone, but, that’s not an option. Josh is a good friend. I’m glad I’ll spend it with someone who makes me happy, regardless of where I am.

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MY BODY IS NOT A TEMPLE. MY BODY IS NOT A PLACE OF HONOR. NOTHING VALUED IS HERE. WHAT IS HERE IS DANGEROUS AND REPULSIVE. THIS BODY IS BEST SHUNNED AND LEFT UNINHABITED.

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Is this a binge coming on? Mmmmmm probably

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South America Set List

Winter Passing (TAI)

Turn on the Light (Solo)

Ask (Smiths Cover)

Phrase That Pays (TAI)

Rumored Nights (TAI)

Beware! Cougar! (TAI)

Marching Bands of Manhattan (Death Cab Cover)

Sputter (TAI)

Hanging on a Honeymoon (solo)

Lua (Bright Eyes cover, Capo on 9)

Four Windows (Solo)

Classifieds (TAI)

Big Mess (TAI)

Beware! Cougar! (TAI$

Cracks in the Ceiling (TAI)

Midtown (TAI)

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Still a little shocked that Danby said he would Fuck me. I wonder if more of my friends feel that way and I’m just always clueless? Who knows?

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Love being the only one getting constantly snapped at on the dash. If you don’t like me it’s much more simple to say it or ignore me. I’m 35, Not a child, I won’t lose sleep. The slip side is passive aggression pisses me the fuck off and I’ll stay angry

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I don’t know, maybe I just really love living in the past though. Not the “good old days”. Sometimes I don’t think those exist. There was always some pain, always some struggle. But there WERE good things. Like touring with Gabe and Pete and everyone. Or playing 20 questions with the guys on our bus. Things were simpler. I think I had a better idea of who I was. And that’s what I miss.

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Me: That’s probably a pretty clear sign-- 

Also me: Unless it was??? A joke??? 

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Oh. That was really nice of Cindy to stand up for me. I kind of forgot that’s a thing, I never ask for help or for people to handle things for me anymore. I should probably thank her. 

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Okay. I mean. You were fucking wrong about the weather and I was just explaining why people are saying it’s cold. But okay. I’ll go sit in my old man corner, I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out which kids think I’m too old and they’re too cool and I won’t bother trying to insert myself into conversations where I’m not wanted. Same old same old.

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Bill. Bill, don’t start on the dash with your strong fucking opinions no one asked about

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We all know I have a consistent track record of people thinking I’m flirting because I’m too friendly and touchy with everyone, combined with being totally oblivious to other people flirting with me, creating big, big messes. 

So now, after all of the double entendre yesterday I have to wonder if we’re both just being really friendly, or if Josh is flirting with me? And if he is... Do I want him to? I’m probably thinking things into existence. It probably doesn’t matter. Whatever.  

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Actually I’m mostly just used to Gabe calling me Billiam and not getting shit for it. It’s always weird to remember other people do that too. 

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Times of the day where we feel sluggish and gross? If the answer would be constantly, all the time, does that still count?