reusethecels

[reusethecels]

“National Geographic called me and asked me to write the feminist facts about how The Lion King gets lion pride dynamics all wrong. I happily complied. Lions are matrilineal!! 

When I contacted Craig Packer, one of the world’s leading lion researchers, to talk  about this story he was IMMEDIATELY AVAILABLE. He Skyped me almost instantly from a camp in Kenya and said he’s been waiting for someone to ask him this question since the original film came out.

Anyway, if The Lion King were real, Nala would be the star, Sarabi would be holding her up saying everything the light touches is our kingdom, Simba would have left and never come back, and when Nala got old enough Sarabi would have carved out a territory for her to rule.”

- Erin Biba‏ 

In real life, Simba’s mom would be running the pride

[reusethecels]

[reusethecels]

[reusethecels]

-and that’s it

[reusethecels]

[reusethecels]

my dad guillermo laying it out

[reusethecels]

what do u mean i don’t have a social life I just went grocery shopping with my mom

[reusethecels]

what does it mean when a guy says hi to you 

[reusethecels]

If you didn’t grow up ugly, poor or emo I don’t trust you

[reusethecels]

of course i have a lot of pent-up rage you fool i’ve been the same height since i was 12

[reusethecels]

so there’s this terrible spotify ad (i don’t have premium because unemployed. boo) from biore, about their ridiculous nose strips, and i want to throw something across the room every damn time i hear it. FIRST OFF, those “blackheads” on your nose usually aren’t even blackheads, they’re sebaceous filaments. if your skin is properly washed and exfoliated, then they’re not dirt, they’re supposed to be there. they’re just going to come back and biore KNOWS THAT, so they have that awful ad telling you that they look “dirty” and disgusting (their words!!! idk about the word disgusting but i know they used dirty and the entire ad is very very self esteem-killing) so you’ll keep on buying the damn nose strips for a fake condition that isn’t going to go away. you can diminish their appearance using AHA exfoliants, but they will be back within 24-48 hours if you try to remove them.

in other words: fuck you and your predatory scam, biore. throw out ur biore strips guys.

[reusethecels]

Marie Kondo is full of anecdotes about the weird ass shit that she not only lets people keep but encourages them to elevate in their lives. She says one of her clients ended the process with a bedroom full of vintage pinball machines because what sparks joy in that particular woman was basically sleeping in the middle of an arcade.

Marie Kondo would never make you throw away your weird shit! She wants you to pare down to just your weird shit.

[reusethecels]

TODAY IT’S A GREAT DAY BECAUSE IT’S MARCH 15th THE DAY WHEN DENZEL CROCKER LOST HIS HAPPINESS AND IT’S ALSO ANNOY SQUIDWARD DAY

[reusethecels]

[reusethecels]

You’ve been hit by 🔪

You’ve been struck by 🔪

A Roman Senator 🔪🔪🔪

[reusethecels]

I’m at my dog sitting job in a pretty old countryside farm and the lady who does the cleaning up here told me this morning that there are old tunnels (now closed up) running from the house to the church (1km) and I did not want to know that

[reusethecels]

no one tells you that Adulthood is faking it til you make it and finding joy in things like cleaning out your closet or managing to buy candles 50% off