restive-thoughts

[restive-thoughts]

At some point in your life, you were taught that being slightly annoying is an unforgivable sin. Maybe it was by your parents or a teacher or a friend or a bully or an older sibling. But someone taught you that being slightly annoying is a crime punishable by death.

You must unlearn this.

You must accept that all people will be annoying at some point or another in their lives, maybe all of their lives, and that this is okay. It is okay for strangers on the bus, it is okay for children in the grocery store, it is okay for people on social media, and it is okay for you.

If you ever want to truly love your fellow humans, if you ever want to truly love yourself, you must have forgiveness for being annoying.

[restive-thoughts]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[restive-thoughts]

“Give people time. Give people space. Don’t beg anyone to stay. Let them roam. What’s meant for you will always be yours.”

— Reyna Biddy

[restive-thoughts]

“Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more. You’re doing just fine.”

— Charlotte Eriksson

[restive-thoughts]

[restive-thoughts]

“You promised. You promised me that you wouldn’t do this again…I-I guess that’s my fault for believing you.”

[restive-thoughts]

Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou

[restive-thoughts]

There are a thousand reasons for me to be angry, and you don’t remember a single one, do you? Why do you get the luxury of forgetting every horrible thing you’ve ever done while I have to carry years’ worth of trauma with me for the rest of my life? You say you feel bad about the past, but that’s not enough. Your remorse is only based on a vague memory of my anger. You have no idea what you are truly guilty for. I don’t want you to apologize. I want you to remember. I want you to drown in your memories like I drown in mine. I want it to eat away at you until you feel even a fraction of what I felt. I don’t want your fucking excuses. I want you to fucking remember.

[restive-thoughts]

But what do you do when you so desperately don’t want to be alone anymore, but your even more terrified of letting someone in and getting close to anyone again.

[restive-thoughts]

You're not a martyr for raising the kids you chose to have

[restive-thoughts]

[restive-thoughts]

“Love didn’t hurt you. Someone who doesn’t know how to love you hurt you. Don’t confuse the two.”

— Unknown

[restive-thoughts]

doggy but with her hands held behind her back >>>>

[restive-thoughts]

i’m not saying I have it worst then you. I know you’ve gone through so much more then I have with your years of life. I never made it a competition. I just wanted a hug.

[restive-thoughts]

“Just remember that sometimes, the way that you think about a person isn’t the way they actually are.”

— John Green, Paper Towns

[restive-thoughts]

[restive-thoughts]

Everyone talks about the older sister (understandably) having to take on so much, having the burden etc...

But what about the youngest? The youngest who had to be the oldest, the reversal role of all those things being taken on by the youngest, what about them?