respecttheskinnykaren

[respecttheskinnykaren]

Why is it so hard to not binge? I'm just honestly so upset. I truly want to stop but I just can't. I had such control over my eating and I was so healthy. Where did it all go wrong? I feel like food has absolute control over me and I have tried everything to get that control back. Idk what to do.

It's not as easy as "just work out! Just eat healthy! Just dont overeat!" Obviously if it was I wouldn't be doing this and I'd be healthy and fit again. I'm not even sad either. I've gotten my depression under control and I'm deeper in my spirituality than I've ever been. I just cant seem to get a grip on destroying my body with food. I literally just want to eat everything all the time. I need help.

[respecttheskinnykaren]

Nothing is better than being skinny and you cannot convince me otherwise. I have never regretted not eating and seeing the scale go down the next day but I will always regret a binge. Nothing tastes good enough to exchange weight loss for eating it

[respecttheskinnykaren]

I haven't eaten in three (3) days and I'm still not skinny. I demand a refund.

[respecttheskinnykaren]

"It's so distracting. You're walking down the street and you see how easy it would be to run into open traffic. You glance at a building and imagine yourself falling from its rooftops. Death, death, death, all around you, all the time. How do you stop thinking about it?"

- broken thoughts

[respecttheskinnykaren]

Can’t cope with the fact I’m literally so fat it’ll take me at least a year to be skinny. Guess the only option is to restrict because I’m tired of feeling sick every time I look at my body.

[respecttheskinnykaren]

Feeling paralyzed when you can move, is the worst feeling ever

[respecttheskinnykaren]

I don’t know if it’s just me and if it is I’m sorry because this is horrible.

I can’t look at someone without judiging them on their weight and I hate it

[respecttheskinnykaren]

Today’s invasive thoughts:

What is the meaning of my life?

Will anyone actually love me?

Is all of life this dull and stressful and full of disingenuous people with ill and selfish intentions?

Did I make any of the right choices?

I feel like I’m no one and my existence is pointless.

What happens when I’m the only one left to tell these stories?

Who will remember me when I’m gone?

What if I never do anything of worth and my life was a waste?

What if after all of the things I’ve been through I’m nothing and don’t achieve my goals and die having lived my life by someone else’s ideals, or worse lived it by mine and was wrong about what I really wanted?

What am I going to eat tomorrow?

[respecttheskinnykaren]

i feel too fat to do anything. i feel too fat to go to school. i feel too fat to talk to people. i feel to fat to even be seen by people. i feel too fat to wear this. i feel too fat to wear that. i just wanna hide under my covers so i can be too fat alone. 

[respecttheskinnykaren]

a nightmare come true

Today i went to my boyfriends house as usual, he had gone to a girls house last night which i wasn’t very fond of.

I asked him how the night went and didn’t get many answers. Then later on he asked if i knew about how the girl had anorexia.

It kinda bothered me at first since like he helps me through it a lot and now he was going to help her too so it didn’t mean as much as it used to.

Until he said this

She’s actually 100 pounds though... she’s actually anorexic.

My heart dropped after that.

I know he didn’t really know better but like.. that fucking hurt. I went into his room and put on a sweater instead of just chilling in my bra.

Some competition i suppose.

[respecttheskinnykaren]

When u're Fasting almost dying and go to the scale... and it shows you gained weight....

[respecttheskinnykaren]

the only thing i have control over in my life is my caloric intake

my life is pure chaos at this point so guess who’s back after eating like a “normal teen” for a little cause it was winter break and i hung around my friends 24/7 and they were always eating and now i feel huge and i need control and need to get back into it.. i’m lowkey glad winter breaks over

[respecttheskinnykaren]

#edmemes #mentalhealthmemes #anamemes #anorexiamemes #anorexiameme #miamemes #bulimiameme #bulimiamemes #depressionmemes #memesfordepressedteens #copingmechanism #kpopedmemes #eatingdisordermeme #eatingdisordermemes #ednosmeme #ednosmemes #anxietymemes #anxietymeme #bingeeatingdisordermemes #bingeeatingdisordermeme https://www.instagram.com/p/B68wjYKqrIl/?igshid=1al9fj9ltb9iz

[respecttheskinnykaren]

#edmemes #mentalhealthmemes #anamemes #anorexiamemes #anorexiameme #miamemes #bulimiameme #bulimiamemes #depressionmemes #memesfordepressedteens #copingmechanism #kpopedmemes #eatingdisordermeme #eatingdisordermemes #ednosmeme #ednosmemes #anxietymemes #anxietymeme #bingeeatingdisordermemes #bingeeatingdisordermeme https://www.instagram.com/p/B68wtV2qDKf/?igshid=15sfmz26v5hr4

[respecttheskinnykaren]

#edmemes #mentalhealthmemes #anamemes #anorexiamemes #anorexiameme #miamemes #bulimiameme #bulimiamemes #depressionmemes #memesfordepressedteens #copingmechanism #kpopedmemes #eatingdisordermeme #eatingdisordermemes #ednosmeme #ednosmemes #anxietymemes #anxietymeme #bingeeatingdisordermemes #bingeeatingdisordermeme https://www.instagram.com/p/B65zL91KRE4/?igshid=cox0ie2wlm16

[respecttheskinnykaren]

#edmemes #mentalhealthmemes #anamemes #anorexiamemes #anorexiameme #miamemes #bulimiameme #bulimiamemes #depressionmemes #memesfordepressedteens #copingmechanism #kpopedmemes #eatingdisordermeme #eatingdisordermemes #ednosmeme #ednosmemes #anxietymemes #anxietymeme #bingeeatingdisordermemes #bingeeatingdisordermeme https://www.instagram.com/p/B63tx_Iq-Ce/?igshid=i4wj7aeti6hr

[respecttheskinnykaren]

it be like that sometimes #edmemes #mentalhealthmemes #anamemes #anorexiamemes #anorexiameme #miamemes #bulimiameme #bulimiamemes #depressionmemes #memesfordepressedteens #copingmechanism #kpopedmemes #eatingdisordermeme #eatingdisordermemes #ednosmeme #ednosmemes #anxietymemes #anxietymeme #bingeeatingdisordermemes #bingeeatingdisordermeme https://www.instagram.com/p/B60v5dQqZrT/?igshid=1kdebnqta81gj