rennieisblue

[rennieisblue]

i have this constant feeling of wanting to leave all the time, i don't know when, i don't know where, but i only know that i want to leave

[rennieisblue]

[rennieisblue]

new years resolutions, no, new morning resolutions

[rennieisblue]

i call this state perpetual fomo, its the the ouroboros, a self-sustaining cycle. in constantly reaching for new experiences and a new identity, i forget the perfection existing in the present.

[rennieisblue]

Shelley Duvall in the deleted hospital scene from the original ending of THE SHINING (1980)

What I wouldn’t give to see this scene

[rennieisblue]

new vinted purchase, excited to wear to nosferatu tomorrow with @maryann-mp4

[rennieisblue]

[rennieisblue]

i want a smart man who can teach me things

[rennieisblue]

Tess (1979)

[rennieisblue]

bunny girl

[rennieisblue]

[rennieisblue]

[rennieisblue]

[rennieisblue]

this diva

Hi

[rennieisblue]

[rennieisblue]

don’t be scared to speak.

no matter how whimsical, bizarre, or so called morally bankrupt words you speak - what blossoms from your mouth will breed seeds for people to reject or accept either way. speak only what your soul wants to exalt, love yourself.

being autistic sucks. it sucks. i love myself, and i love how my brain works. but, i hate the way i interact with other people. i upset people without being aware of it, or i weird people out without being aware of it.

i have said 3 things i’m not socially allow to say in the space of 20 minutes whilst being out with my family. i know they’re just joking but they called me rude, and keep getting upset with me. it’s my worst aspect of myself, and i hate it. i take back what i said, i really hate the way my brain works. i’m scared to say anything, i have anxiety to even speak because i’m frightened i will mess up. i’ve never been one to have social anxiety but now it’s at an all time high. only a few sentences are safe for me now.

how do i become more aware of social cues and situations? how do i stop myself from just speaking without thinking?

[rennieisblue]

Gustav Vigeland, Kneeling Man Embracing a Standing Woman, 1908