ren-jain-blog

[ren-jain-blog]

Hey there,

It's been a really long since we talked. I know we are not texting anymore and I don't know how your day's been or what's new. I miss the moments when we used to talk. And if I could just once look you in the eyes and apologize I would.

I wish nothing but the best for you and that you get everything in your life more than what you deserve.

I know you hate me with all your heart but In the end, I just want to say that really miss you and I hope you are doing good.

[ren-jain-blog]

Broken Blessings

[ren-jain-blog]

I lost my best friend - not lost as in dead but lost as in we'll only text each other on our birthdays now.

Movies and books don't tell you that a friendship dying is like the sinking of a ship, you try to get higher and higher and hold onto the rails and unanswered texts, the captain tries to steer it to safety and salvage pieces of two broken hearts until you're left with memories of what once was.

Movies and books also don't tell you that friendships don't just end after one fight or incident, it's like the rusting of a bridge, the slow decay of flesh and bones and secrets. It took weeks, months- until one day you wake up and realize.

- Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

[ren-jain-blog]

First there is love, that is rooted in the pursuit of our own happiness, and we revel in the feelings of reciprocation that it brings, for we seek affection.

Then, there is the true love that demands sacrifice, the willingness to prioritize the other person's happiness above your own. It is a love that requires strength and bravery, to let go of someone you love knowing that it is for the best.

And yet, beyond even this, there is true unconditional love. A love that endures beyond the physical realm, beyond life itself. A love that defies all reasons and expectations, for it persists even when it is not reciprocated.

To truly love unconditionally, is to love knowing you'll never be loved. It is to have the strength of letting go and still loving them. It is both a blessing and a curse. The most beautiful thing of all yet so tragic. Something that is unbreakable, absolute and persists in emptiness.

[ren-jain-blog]

The loneliness that creeps in when you're surrounded by people is a kind of emptiness that cannot be filled. It's like being adrift in the ocean, with no land in sight, and nothing but the endless horizon to keep you company.

[ren-jain-blog]

There's something about watching the world go by from behind a window that makes me feel like an outsider looking in. A silent observer of a world that doesn't seem to notice or care that I exist.

[ren-jain-blog]

Everyone talks about how we should have one person in our life who we can tell anything without embarrassment and talk openly. How there should be one best friend in everyone's life. Whether anything good or bad happens, we should tell them , completely open up to them and not hide things.

But no one ever told us what we should do if, that special person in our life has a special person in their and that's not us.

What are we supposed to do then? (And NO!!! When I say "special" I DON'T mean anything beyond, I mean totally platonic friendship)

When you tell them everything and they listen to you. I am not saying they are not good for you. They are your best friend, Yes! They are always there for you, they listen to all your crap. THEY ARE YOUR PERSON. They are your family. Not the family you are born to but the family that you create, the family that you choose.

But what If you are not theirs? What if they listen to you but does not talk to you about themselves, does not tell you things or open up to you? What if they are trustworthy and you do trust them but they don't trust you? What if they tell you that they do not want to tell you things?

What then?

Is it supposed to hurt? Cause it Does!!

You don't expect them to behave a certain way just because you do it, but then why does it hurt when they are your go to person but you are not theirs?

If they were to be just that person who wouldn't open up or tell their things, you would still accept it because you wouldn't want them to be someone they are not just because you are, which is totally okay.

But What if, THEY ARE THAT PERSON who would open up and share things JUST NOT WITH YOU!

Should it hurt to know that?

How not to feel pain when you are not your best friend's best friend?

[ren-jain-blog]

Unspoken words.

[ren-jain-blog]

Were We not discussing how quickly August Slipped away into a moment of time like last week? And how it was New Year only a few weeks back ??

How is it Oct already?????|||???!

Guess not just August but this year was never mine