regardstoviv

[regardstoviv]

words left unsaid: revisiting an old flame ❥

[POST #2] hey prince, i know that it's kind of weird and stupid for me to write this nang bigla-biglaan, but this is the only place where I'm completely anonymous and..I don't know medyo feel ko lang mag-sulat. I don't know where to start. What do I even say to you? It’s kinda strange, you know—there was a time when I thought about you constantly, when the sight of your name alone would also bring this strange mix of excitement and nervousness in me. But time has a way of softening those edges, doesn’t it? Life moved on, and so did I. now, I don’t think about you all the time, i mean, not like I used to. i don't need to. i can't. But sometimes, when I’m alone with my thoughts, myself, and I, you slip in, and ganyan talaga kapag first crush, di ba? Well, I hope you remember me the way I remember you, but some part of me hopes you do. Or maybe it’s better if you don’t nalang?

I guess I’m writing this just to say the things I never got to say back then, even though I did confess to having feelings for you. I was just never brave enough to tell you outright. and at some point, i kinda regretted it to be honest. but you know, being around you as my classmate made my day better; you had that effect on me. But things never really went anywhere because I was scared, and maybe it was for the best.

Still, I wonder sometimes: did you ever know about it? Did you ever think about me? Did you like me? We both moved on with our lives, and maybe we’re both in better places now. But some part of me wants to thank you—for all those moments as a classmate, as a groupmate, and as a friend. You were the reason I smiled a lot of days in school, even if I couldn’t tell you why I did.

Maybe you’ll never see this, and that’s okay. I don't mean to have so much hugot and parang, sadness and longing to this. This isn’t about finding out how you feel or even reopening anything that’s been long closed. This is just me telling you that I placed those feelings somewhere outside of me so I can leave them there and move on. You were a small, but significant part of my story, my "what if" for a while, but now, I've turned the page. We're both where we're meant to be, prince, and I’m glad for that. thank you :)

So… yung lang. Maybe one day I’ll look back at this and laugh at how serious this deadass felt and how young and foolish i was lol. for now, i've said goodbye to a small piece of my little "love-life" past. you. all the love, ivy 🤎

[regardstoviv]

Fly High, Liam! ♥ [POST #1] [LONG] hey guys! its ivy! 🤎 unfortunately, just a few days ago, liam payne, former member of One Direction has passed away. It was the most heartbreaking and unexpected news that I woke up to on a Thursday morning (different timezone). Because I had class that day, I had no time to take it in, but just so you know, I cried ALOT that Thursday night. It's because I just couldn't believe or accept it, out of all people it was Liam Payne. I don't think there are words that describe my shock and sadness, but at the end of the day, the world moves on, and the world will keep on spinning. As a massive One Direction fan, it was incredibly saddening. Liam is such a sweetheart, his smile is undeniably healing, the warmth and genuineness in his voice when he talks and sings, his love for his fans, and everything in between the personality of this lovely man, was something incredibly special and something to remember. all of it felt so heartwarming to me. But, there was something hidden that we didn't know. drugs, addiction, alcohol, anxiety, mental health issues, and so on. it had been troubling him for quite a long time, and I guess, that day was the day it decided to take him over. i don't want this post to be too long and sentimental, so i'll just end it there (and i really don't want to cry for like the 20th time 😢) as you guys can see, I have made a playlist dedicated to 1D and Liam, and really just reminiscing the fun and naiveness of the old days when I fangirl-"ed" over 1D, its a bunch of my favorite songs from their discography, and I thought I'd share them with you guys :)) happy listening everyone! love you liam, enjoy God's presence up there <3 all the love, ivy