redichigooo

[redichigooo]

...

This days, I keep thinking about my failed subj. I even think about shifting course because I though we(my classmates) would never be close, not until this days. It's always this gossip that makes us find friend we never expect to be friends with. Sooo, I think the problem is MEE. I should have complied the no grade of mine, I should have ask and beg my prof to just give me the passing grade but I'm an idiot for not taking a risk.

Now, I don't want to shift course. I want to stay in my fieldd with the same classmates. Can we just turn back the time? Just turn it back to October 24, 2022? I'd take all the risks just to turn back the time.

[redichigooo]

...

I don't have someone to say that I failed 3 subjs in my last year's semester. I don't know what's going on with me. I do have friends lots of them, but it felt like I'm isolating myself to them. I'm ashamed I didn't do my best to not fail that, am I really that dumb?

[redichigooo]

random

I want to be friends with her because I liked her... I feel like we're kindred spirit. Whenever we're alone she acts like we're fine, we talk much, we laugh, we jokes around and say goofy things, but when we're with someone it feels like I'm just a nobody. I remembered when we have this party inside our school, we're like 5 people in a table. I was adjacent with her and she has someone beside her, they were talking about something and I kinda want to be included so I inserted and say things also, but their reaction was like, 'okayy why did u insert? this is our conversation go talk with someone else.' Well I don't have someone to talk with okayyy, I'm desperateeee. After I talk and sense that they don't want me to talk. I didn't say a word then.

[redichigooo]

Day 1

It's been 2 months since f2f classes started, I'm in my 2nd year college alreadyyy. CHEERS FOR SURVIVING.. I feel like my classmates doesn't want to be friends with me. Although it's fine to not have so much friends but why does it feel like they don't want me around? Earlier this afternoon, I was asking this classmate about them not talking with my other classmate. And he was like "Oh, you don't know yet? She didn't told you? You're not friends with her?" I was like, okaayyyy. I didn't even responded to his question. I'm like glued in shock that they haven't told me much about them and what's going on between them. OKAY I DON'T WANNA TALK ANYMORE. For the rest of the afternoon I'm not talking.

I just wanna feel included....