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He struggled to open his eyes. Perhaps because of the medication he was on or simply because he had been lying down too long, everything wavered in front of him. He couldn't see anything clearly. Fei Du was very unaccustomed to letting other people move him around like this. In the suddenly bright surroundings, he frowned fiercely and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to struggle, at least to understand what was going on with himself. Suddenly, something blocked his eyes.

Then warm lips lightly touched his forehead. A sense of familiarity about the sensation made Fei Du calm down.

"I'm here," this person said into his ear. "Everything is all right. Rest now, we'll talk when you wake up."

This seemed to be a voice out of his dreams, so familiar it made him tremble, fulfilling his long-held expectation.

Fei Du's tightly-knit brow slowly relaxed and he let himself give into his involuntary drowsiness amidst the imagined smell of cigarette smoke. Before he sank into deep sleep, he kept thinking of holding the hand covering his eyes-unfortunately,

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Mom & Pei Su ep 28

This ep is so hard for me to get through...and I finally did a rewatch. And I still cried and CRIED. Pei Su and his mom deserved so much better :(

This fear and anxiety grow.....

And LWZ words during hypnosis are the only reason he was able to get these memories back.....

She's so pretty. Yet she is more afraid for her son.....

"I don't have trauma" Pei Su said with a straight face earlier in series......

He's just a kid. No wonder he is so effed up.... :/ "You are a monster" has lived in his soul for way too long....poor kid......he has so much guilt and shame for hurting his mom...... no wonder he suppressed those memories.....

"Pei Su.... don't be controlled by them. Mommy knows that you are a kind hearted child. You always have been....."

LOVE.

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Youtube: cold.stars.99

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LWZ is so gentle.

Justice in the Dark ep 26 deleted scene

Fever scene

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When Pei Su was unconscious, LWZ was doing his own re-investigating with his down time....and Pei Su kept being in the center of it all....

So his name was written on his investigation board.

But as time went by.... and even knowing Pei Su was connected somehow, he realized Pei Su wasn't suspicious....

I love the visual in the series of LWZ working through his personal thoughts regarding Pei Su and trust....

He has come so far and trusts Pei Su so much by this point. The visual was so powerful. The cinematography *chef's kiss*.

The growth of LWZ's character 🥰

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These little down cast smirks they do when thinking of one another and the future🥰

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Justice in the Dark

Happy Birthday Fei Du! 🎉✨🐈‍⬛

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LWZ saw an opening....

This cheeky brat....

oops... should we tell Chief Du?

That little downward grin! Sir...those are some thoughts! 🥰

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I can't stop thinking about their body language during that ep21 heavy 'confession' scene.

PS appears hesitant with his minimal eye contact and arms crossed as if hugging himself for comfort, but he also has his leg crossed toward LWZ, which is a good sign. LWZ for his part is trying to sit so close, leaning forward (as far as censors will allow) with such an open posture, ready for anything, as if conveying he wants to be even closer to PS...if PS is ok with that.

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Which exact bottle of perfume does Fei Du use? I need to know what scent makes Luo Wenzhou go insane. I know it’s mu xiang, but there are so many options!

[rolls up sleeves, face flushed, eyes sparkling] BEAUTY, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I HAVE WANTED TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT MU XIANG as both a rabid moduist and someone unwholesomely obsessed with perfume, LET'S FUCKING GO—

[warning: it'll take me a while to get to the perfume i think it might be]

mu xiang is, as you say, in a zillion perfumes (or its imitation is…more on that later). it's a plant: 木香 mu xiang, also known as costus, primary latin name Dolomiaea costus. a lot of plants are commonly named costus, but the one we want grows mainly in the himalayas and throughout kashmir (it likes high altitudes) and it looks like this:

very thistly and prickly! kind of like fei du! approach with caution! most costus root is today exported to china (though it's been heavily overcollected so there are now more regulations); in TCM, 木香順氣丸, mu xiang shun qi wan, is a herbal formulation for tummy troubles, balancing spleen/stomach qi and treating symptoms like bloating, indigestion, even ulcers. but of course, costus root has also been used as a fragrance ingredient in perfume and incense for thousands of years—it goes way back. and here is where things get interesting. because let's just say mu xiang does NOT smell like sweet summer roses. are you ready for some descriptions? BUCKLE UP FRIENDS.

• Pliny, Natural History (77-79 CE): "a burning [burnt] taste and exquisite scent, though in other respects the plant is of no use." [x] [x]

• Matvey Yudov: "animalic…often described as the smell of unwashed hair—the smell of scalp and hair roots when heated by the sun, and also as the smell of a cat's fur. [Its] animalic nuances contributed to an impression of a barnyard…many people who smell costus for the first time, often refer to it as the smell of wet dog."

• Dan Riegler, Apothecary's Garden: "a beautiful, musky, tenacious soft scent that is similar to that of warm animal fur…to me is reminiscent of the smell of one's lover in the morning."

• Mandy Aftel, Aftelier Perfumes: "extremely tenacious with an aroma of old precious wood and violets, with a distinctly animal undertone of human hair and wet dogs."

• Fragrenza: "with its earthy and dusty aroma, naturally evokes animal notes. […] designer Annick Goutal describes the smell of costus as reminiscent of dirty socks, greasy hair, and goat, yet she acknowledges that in a composition, it can be exceptional."

• Fraterworks: "one of those strange odours from history. Upon first smelling it, people often recall the scent of wild goats and wet dog hair but as every perfumer knows, it is often the "ugly" smells that add the final touch of beauty to a scent."

• Roy Genders, Scented Flora of the World (1994): "a strong lingering scent. The smell is at first like violets, but as it ages it can become more fur-like or eventually become unpleasantly goat-like" [x]

• and Fragrantica summing it all up for us: "a sensual and dirty, rooty note reminiscent of unwashed hair."

[…and you can read a gabillion more like this all over god's internet]

SO LET'S THINK ABOUT THIS TOGETHER FOR JUST A MINUTE SHALL WE. lwz not only likes the way mu xiang smells, but fei du has noticed he PARTICULARLY like the "tail end" of it, the afternotes. and what are those? THE SWEATY DIRTY MUSKY GOATY ONES.

and do you remember what lwz does in book 5 when fei du drives him home, right after fei du tells du jia how he is the abyss?

Fei Du sighed, steadily turning the steering wheel, maintaining an even speed as he got onto the main road. Then he freed up some time to pull out Luo Wenzhou’s groping hand, which was feeling around under his clothes. “I’m going to crash into the guardrail by the road.” […] He saw Luo Wenzhou slowly withdraw his scrounging hand, bring it close to his nose and sniff it, then lick his fingers.

i almost can't talk about this passage (i'm blushing) but it's safe to say that lwz here is not only chasing the scent (and taste) of mu xiang's, uh, tail end, but another…base note which lies…beneath that. he's so shameless and earthy and kind of gross (affectionate) and honestly? respect. the man knows what he likes, and it's other men.

tbh i have had some trouble locating any fragrance that has real mu xiang in it, because it's now forbidden (as of 2021) as a perfume ingredient by the IFRA, the International Fragrance Association, over concerns that it could be a skin irritant (yes, there's censorship in perfume too lol). so instead, fragrance manufacturers use either synthetics or similar scents, though apparently nothing smells quite like it; most perfumers say it's completely unique. you can still buy plain roots for medicinal and other natural purposes, and i would order some, except they would just be…roots, and not the hyperdistilled oil. which is of course what fei du's perfume has in it. so let's hope he bought 50 bottles of his cologne, since real costus in fragrance is pretty much impossible to get now. i guess maybe priest couldn't give us an actual brand name for copyright reasons? but i keep thinking it's possible (?) fei du wears Yves Saint Laurent Kouros, an aromatic fougère, although trained noses say the new synthetic Kouros smells nothing like it used to. it's notorious for being very, um. male, shall we say. and its advertising wasn't ever shy about that fact:

(…so, you know. cough. no wonder luo wenzhou likes it?)

ultimately, though, YSL Kouros has like 18 million fucking notes, and i suspect fei du would like its complexity. as well as the fact that, at the end of the day, it just smells like dirty wet goat and/or eau de boy.

i could honestly bang on about mu xiang for another thousand words, embarrassingly, but a cane is dragging me offstage, so—if anyone has follow-up questions, or if you actually own and wear a fragrance with a costus note, please share! (sadly i'm a gourmand girl and cannot pretend otherwise, i want to smell like a bakery at all times.)

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Pei Su, a deity in the abyss....

Why am I getting god (or spirit entity) vibes from Pei Su to Du Jia? Pei Su prevented Du Jia from taking the wrong path on vengeance, so he is like a protective deity. Pei Su helped to guide Du Jia's hatred/frustration/energy into a more constructive direction to help him cope with this deep grief....

Pei Su seems to have an empathy for others trapped in the abyss with himself, like Du Jia and Wei Wei.... but if Pei Su views himself as the abyss itself, does that mean he has found how to exert control of the abyss or how to manage it.... thus metaphorically, having ascended....?

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Feverish dream, Choked

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Captain Luo was asked to attend an important gathering with his husband.

Pei Su, coming out of the shower, gasped loudly seeing his husband all dolled up waiting for him.

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me going to bed thinking about married zhoudu happy and safe and loved in their house with their cats

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Flirting

This was after Du Jia took someone out before LWZ... (ep23)

Everything is a game with them 😂🤣

Pei Su has the look of a man who knows his man is gonna win this game 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

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