Always make sure your doorknobs are up to state standards
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have you ever been told you look like a celebrity?
yes (who? 馃憖)
no
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helen鈥檚 latest victim
#the magnus archives#the fuck when you鈥檙e a manifestation of an eldritch being trying to consume fear#and you accidentally capture a fucking roomba
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Superhero dreams....
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After three hours texting six people at the same time I just solved two couple dramas and three friendship dramas in my friend group full of dumb dramatic lesbians everyone cheer for me because I've suffered more than Jesus
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good job girlies im so proud
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listen to me right now: stop wasting precious time waiting to dress sluttier until you're smaller. you have a limited number of slut hours before you die and barring cosmic interference you will Never obtain more of them. wear the crop top
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Fun fact: by just using imaginary numbers, some Evil Math, and 101 rotating vectors You Can Create a shitty approximation of a fish.
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There's no place he'd rather be 馃馃挏
Inspired by this tweet!
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Cole Cole Cole Cole Cole guh
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[video description: a man playing saxophone in front of a large pipe. everything he plays echoes back through the pipe, resulting in a call-and-response type song. the person behind the camera claps along to the beat. end description.]
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Can't one of musk's bodyguards or masturbators or whoever's close to him just snap one day and strangle him. Whoever that would be would be hailed a hero
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they're taking persephone out of the public domain because every possible version of that story has already been told. you have to do a modern queer feminist retelling of the scorpion and the frog now.
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Welcome to tilted towers my name is memphis tennessee
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