recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

heal. your mom may never apologize to you, because she has conditioned herself to believe that she did right by you. she hasn't healed. heal anyway. your father may never apologize to you, because he can only see what he's done right. he hasn't healed. your family members may never apologize to you, because toxicity is what they were raised on. they haven't healed. heal anyway. that "friend" may never apologize to you, because he/she isn't sorry. he/she hasn't healed. if/when they reach their healing, they may seek your forgiveness. be so healed that it won't even matter. heal for you. you owe yourself that much.

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

The art you create has value because it is art and you created it. you do not need to win awards or be the 'best' it is enough to find joy in what you do.

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

i know a lot of people cling hard to their DSM diagnoses and the biomedical model of mental illness bc they’ve had their suffering invalidated for years. they’ve been blamed for having the wrong attitude, or pretending, or being lazy, or being attention-seeking or selfish or any other descriptor that SO ironically applies to the people propagandizing around these labels and not the people receiving them, who are suffering and asking to be seen. 

but the alternative to the biomedical model is not “your suffering is invalid or made up”! it is: your suffering could not be more real–all of society is arranged in a way that traumatizes and alienates you, from birth to home to school to work to healthcare to dying. of course you’re unwell! and unwell in a way that is both unique to you, your body, and your experience, and shared with many others. the alternative to victim-blaming is context, looking at the whole person, the whole society.

antipsychiatry doesn’t want to take away the validation of your particular suffering, it wants to take the blame off of you and your body entirely, and to tell you that none of us is alone, privatization of mental health is a sham, and there is a path forward for you into more freedom & healing than psychiatry has allowed you to imagine.

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

alright everyone, we’re picking ourselves up and going again. We’re putting ice on our split lips and busted knuckles. We’re doing our dishes and our laundry even if it stays hanging on the line for four days. We’re texting our friends back. We’re wiping the dust off our clothes. We’re booking and attending medical appointments. We’re taking the empty dishes out of our bedrooms. We’re sitting outside in the sunshine. We’re holding our heads up. We’re apologising to the people we’ve hurt. We’re forgiving ourselves.

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

I learned a kind of funny thing and I need to tell you bc it's important, cmere. Lean in so the others can't hear okay?

Ok so like

I know that the reason we are the way we are is because at some point we took up some space - as people do - and someone turned to us and went "whoa, excuse you! What do you think you're doing" or something, right? And they were, like, surprised and offended that we took up space and told us to stay real small and subservient? And we were pretty young, you and me, and we didn't really grok Peopling yet and so we assumed that everyone else was going to have that expectation too?

Okay I just learned: that isn't true at all, that person was just an asshole.

Babe. BABE. This is big.

Ok do you realize ??? that most people when they're around someone - anyone, this is important, it's an unconscious reflex and happens rather automatically - and that person is like "I have an opinion and desires and also some needs and I am going to express them openly" Did you realize, because I didn't, that most people completely intuitively go "oh! There's another person here! Lemme just scootch over so they fit better :)" PEOPLE MAKE ROOM FOR YOU.

People don't ignore us, when we're silently having wants and needs and waiting our turn to be noticed, they just have similar very loud brains and have no idea because beung corporeal is Distracting™️. Not only do people just need a reminder that you're there, they're totally happy to accomodate. In a distinctly "ope! My bad, lemme just- here-" sort of way.

My spouse has a loud brain and drowns it out with Mario Kart. I've spent most of my life quietly entertaining myself in all of these instances, because at some point someone told me I was supposed to "go play" and nobody wanted to play with me so I entertained myself right? Okay. Well I recently had a sea change and decided I was gonna pop my headphones in and watch TV on my tablet when he was doing his Mario Karting. Because the boy will easily go for four hours and I just spontaneously realized that it would actually be ridiculous if he got butthurt at me for putting some quiet tv on for myself instead of watching a grown man play the same video game for hours.

You know what happened? Not only did nobody's feelings get hurt, but I have never made it more than twenty minutes into a show before he ends a match and switches the console off. And I have never asked him to do so. When I'm over there doing my own thing with my own TV show like a person instead of just scrolling on my phone trying real hard not to exist, somewhere in his unconscious he goes "there's a whole other human being on the other end of the sofa from me. I want to turn this off and engage with that person!"

Okay do you understand what I am telling you??

When you behave like a human person and treat yourself like a human person, other people also instinctively treat you like a human person and they're happy to be reminded that they get to engage with you. The person in our past that reacted differently and got mad at us for being a person, plainly and simply: they were just being an asshole to us.

The people we love want to engage with us. Almost all of them!!! And not only that?? Most other human beings feel the same way.

Huge. Big huge.

Don't take my word for it baby cakes okay, take a sec and muster up the courage (it'll be scary the first time, but the thinking about it is always scarier than doing it I swear) and then get back out there and practice being your very own human person occupying human people space, around someone who loves you, and just... watch what happens. The first time someone warmly, graciously, voluntarily accommodates you is the greatest feeling a corporeal being can experience, and you deserve it too.

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

As long as humans are alive on Earth there will be hope. Do you understand that? Even with a crisis on our doorstep, we aren’t going to roll over and give up so easily, especially not when other like our family and friends still rely on us for love.

-qbv

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

Btw that rule about not trusting how you feel after 4pm in the winter or 9pm in the summer (really we should just say after the sun goes down but whatever) is only about negative feelings. if you are chilling with your best friend drinking hot chocolate and have never felt more loved and safe, that is 100% true and you can and should trust

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

A short list of things I think everyone should try or do at least once in their life that will make you feel more alive. Not all of these are applicable to every person, but it’s a summary:

Take a dance class of any style with a semi-serious instructor for at least 4 classes worth

Write a work of fiction, of *any* length and *any* quality

Learn a least a bit of a language that isn’t your native one. You don’t need to become anywhere near fluent, but try and get a bit beyond yes, no, and where’s the bathroom. If you’re from a country where most people are bilingual already, that doesn’t count! Get bits of a language with which you are truly unfamiliar.

In the same vein, make peace with subtitles and start consuming music, TV and movies from cultures that aren’t your own. If your country imports large amounts of media from a specific other culture or cultures (American movies in foreign markets, for example) that also doesn’t count! Get some feelers out to begin to take in content from a culture that you don’t already have a lot of knowledge of.

Try at least one less common/less “exercisey” and more fun type of physical exercise such as roller blading or roller or ice skating, gymnastics, trampoline, rock climbing, aerial silks, pole dancing, surfing, etc

Learn a hobby or craft that produces a physical finished product and produce a single, complete object - regardless of quality - that you can hold in your hands and say that you made.

Look up a how it’s made video or YouTube video on how an item that’s interesting or relevant to you is made

Give one type of thing - media, hobby, sport, whatever - that you’ve never been interested in or never tried because of some preconceived perception an honest shot and see if your perception was correct. Sometimes it won’t be, sometimes it will be, but it’s valuable to know.

Rearrange the furniture in a room in your home

It’s about NOVELTY, babey! Get some enrichment into your enclosure!

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

You should have been allowed to have feelings as a child

In the earliest days, when you were small and you still had it in you to complain when you were mistreated

Back before you learned to hold your pain close and sit with whatever abuse they hurled at you

Before you learned to be quiet, to behave, to never fight back and never speak up for yourself

You were right

You were right to hate being hurt

You were right to call them out on the awful things they were doing to you

You were right the entire time and they just didn't want to treat you like a person

So they stamped out your ability to voice your thoughts freely

You were a child

You should have been allowed to have emotions

You should have been able to say no

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

From @nicothepoet

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

there is more to life than what you are experiencing right now. i know mental illness and trauma can feel overwhelming and like that's all that there is, but there is more. there's nights spent watching awful movies and eating pizza with your best friends. there's baking cookies while it rains. there's hugging your mom. there's sunsets, new foods, new places, clean sheets, hot summer afternoons and cool winter mornings, fresh berries and soft muffins, friendly cats on the street. there is so much beauty out there. you'll find it soon, i promise. you'll feel warm again.

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

i love it when you start doing little things different & notice how much you’ve grown as a person just by that. like you from a year ago would not have handled that situation the way you are now. you’ve changed for the better. & that is so satisfying

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

I’ve been seeing so many posts about burnout relating to working/studying hard......but burnout from fighting mental illnesses, disabilities, and chronic conditions needs to be talked about more. When you struggle with these things, you fight so many invisible battles a day that you don’t even realize you’re burnt out. You don’t have to be studying or working or “oN tHe gRiNd” to be burnt out. Being strong every day is the most grueling and exhausting kind of work. Please know that you are valid, even if you can’t get up and work/study. You are having to learn a curriculum that school doesn’t teach, and I’m so proud of you <33

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

gentle reminder to just be soft with yourself. I pinky promise you really really deserve it. I’ll stamp it and everything.

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

Constantly repeating to myself “you are not broken you are young and learning how to live” during everything I do everywhere I go all the time

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

One thing I’ve stopped recently is saving items for hypothetical special occasions. I no longer want to assert the thinking that special moments and items are so few and far between that they must be savored. Wearing the dress, spraying the perfume, drinking the wine whenever I want to.

[recovery-is-an-act-of-revolution]

7 depression tips and why they work, from someone who’s been hardcore depressed for two years

hi so im recovering from a really mean depression and there are some things i learned and that i would like to tell you. 

1. you need to reappropriate your space and time. depression is lying to you and generally shrinks your living space (aka: you spend your time in bed/behind your computer/in your room…). visit and do something (even if its just scrolling down social media) in each room you have access to. expand your perception and space, you’ll breathe more easily.

2. plan depression outfits. a depression outfit is a comfy one you still can go out in. to me, it’s old ripped jeans and a turtleneck, my old work uniforms, sweaters. dressing up is one of the most important parts of managing depression. first of all, you’ll feel less like pathetic with proper clothes on (nothing worse than staying in your pj all day). secondly, and it’s a crucial point: it allows you to get out to run some errands. imagine you have to go grocery shopping or to the post office. if you’re in your unwashed pajamas you’ve been wearing for three days or more (been there done that) what you have to do is to undress, shower (if you can), and put on real, clean clothes. which is three things. depression messes wih one’s ability to start things, so it’s very likely you’ll drop your errands and just stay at home feeling like shit. but if you’re already wearing clothes, you just have to put on a coat and get out of the house. which is, trust me, 10 times easier than doing the whole dressing up thing.

3. it’s okay if you stay the whole day in bed but force yourself to get up in the morning (anytime before noon) and drink a glass of water/juice. again, depression messes up with your ability to start doing things, but if you concentrate your will to just get up and drink something before going back to bed, i promise you’ll feel less shitty and might actually end up getting up for good since you’ve been through the trouble of getting up. You’ll feel better (and also you need water!)

4. do one (1) physical, material thing that will improve your life conditions per day. aka: washing a single glass, scrubbing the mirror, etc. you’ll feel proud of yourself, and the tidiest your environment, the less shitty your brain will be. plus, again: if you manage to wash a single dish, maybe you’ll find yourself cleaning the whole kitchen without noticing. and thats a good thing. no pressure: just do one single thing. and don’t beat yourself up if you can’t, of course, but try, it’s gonna be better that way. 

5. open the window (especially at night, i personally find it very soothing) and just… breathe fresh air, looking at the horizon or closing your eyes, and breathe in and out slowly. it’s great to take fresh air. bonus if you have anxiety/ptsd, honestly. opening the windows is one of the easiest ways i know to stop a panic attack.

6. brush your teeth everyday, even if it’s the only thing you manage to do. i know every depression guide recommends it, but it’s really important. not showering for a few days is okay, you’re not gonna get sick that way. but dental hygiene is capital. not to mention you’ll feel less rotting in the inside if you’re less rotting in the outside. you can use your phone to schedule your teeth brushing of the day! really helps. 

7. think about your hobbies and force yourself to do something related to an old hobby of yours. i know it’s no fun. i know you can’t feel anything, so why bother? but really, do bother. do it and eventually as you recover it will be fun again. you haven’t lost your passion, your goals, your motivation. it’s still there, but depression is like a blanket that covers it all. forcing yourself to still act on your hobbies (especially if those are not screen-related: books, gardening, etc.) will help digging through the depression layers to expose your will to live again. trust me on this one. i really thought i was just an apathetic mess, but actually depression was just mean. i believe in you! 

and finally: hold tight and it’s gonna be okay! recovery is possible, and it’s gonna arrive sooner than you expect. energy and motivation are good things and they’re still around here waiting for you! 

feel free to add your own! you’re all gonna make it i promise.