recipnbb

[recipnbb]

Crispy Baked Buffalo Wings Hell Yeah

Ingredients

1 LB chicken wings

Goya Sazon

Goya Adobo

1/4 cup Frank's Red Hot Sauce

1 Tbsp Butter

Preparation

Preheat oven to 425 F

Spray rimmed baking sheet with cooking spray (or oil it up)

Season both sides of chicken with Adobo + Sazon (or your favorite dry rub mix, as long as there's salt in there). I use a light sprinkling of Adobo and, on average, 3 packets of Sazon.

Bake for 1 hour or until crispy-ass-but-not-burnt

Microwave Frank's + butter in a resealable container for 30 seconds, mix

Toss wings in sealed container to coat

Notes

If you're planning on saucing all the wings, you can probably skip the seasoning. Just a little bit of salt should be enough.

You can basically sauce these with anything. Some ideas:

2 parts garlic parmesan dressing, 1 part Frank’s red hot

Barbecue sauce

Lemon pepper sauce

I eyeball all the ingredients so the amounts here are just educated guesses. Feel free to modify to taste.

[recipnbb]

Chopped Cheese

I’ve been working at this for a bit, but I think I finally got my ratios down. Sorry for the shitty photos, I made these things at midnight.*

Makes 2 sandwiches plus. Requires a griddle and a spatula.

Ingredients:

1 lb ground beef

1/2 onion, chopped

Mushrooms, chopped (optional)

Salt

Black pepper

Ancho chili powder

Cumin

Garlic powder

 Cayenne pepper (optional)

3-6 slices American cheese (I like 4**)

2 eggs (optional, I GUESS) 

2 Kaiser rolls

Hot sauce (optional)

Preparation:

This thing is pretty friendly to improvisation, so feel free to change the seasoning up and add, really, anything to it. Some suggestions off the top of the dome: peppers, lettuce, tomato, pickles, mustard, ketchup, mayo, capers, bacon - anything you'd like on a sandwich, really.

Press ground beef into two very large patties and season.

Preheat griddle on high. Add beef, onions, and mushrooms to griddle.

Once the bottom of the beef starts to brown, add cheese. After the cheese begins to melt, top with onions and mushrooms.

Chop, fold, repeat.

When the beef is just about fully browned, crack eggs over beef mix. Let eggs begin to set.

Chop, fold, repeat until eggs are fully integrated.

Layer two spatulas of beef on a Kaiser roll. Add your favorite hot sauce if desired.

* The ideal chopped cheese should be consumed after midnight. Sobriety optional.

** Tragically, this batch only got two slices because my recent chopped cheese obsession has exponentially increased my usage of American cheese.

[recipnbb]

Super Rice

NOTES FOR NEXT TIME:

Small-medium onion (not large), ideally actually vidalia

Higher temperature (3 or 4 on electric range?)

More Sazon

Ingredients

4 bell peppers (different colors)

1 whole onion (Vidalia)

1 handful of cilantro

10 cloves garlic

2 Tbsp olive oil

ALTERNATELY, replace all of the above with

6 oz sofrito

6 oz rechaito

1 Tbsp (more) olive oil

7 oz chorizo

4 cups rice

2 Tbsp garlic powder

2 Tbsp Adobo Goya

4 packages Sazon Goya

4 cups chicken stock

Instructions

Then the rest:

Roughly chop bell peppers, onion, cilantro, and garlic. Blend with 2 Tbsp olive oil to a paste.

Sautee chorizo in 1Tbsp olive oil.

Add sofrito. Cook for 10 minutes.

Stir in rice, followed by the rest of the ingredients. Bring to a boil

Cover and simmer on low (electric range = 2?). DO NOT TOUCH FOR 45 MINUTES.

Fold (DO NOT STIR) the rice from the sides of the pot. Sprinkle in water and re-fold if necessary.

[recipnbb]

It's Always Sunny in Transylvania (Chicken)

Serious presentation skills right here.

HEY! YOU! Do you like chicken? I do. I've cooked a lot of chicken. I've eaten a lot more chicken. This is my favorite chicken. The preparation is pretty simple, but it does take nearly 7 and a half hours to cook. I usually get started at 11am in order to have dinner ready by 7:30.

The original recipe, typically known as either 40 Garlic Clove Chicken or Vampire Chicken, is nearly identical, but is cooked entirely in a slow cooker and thus breaks the first (and probably also second) rule of great chicken by invariably producing a soggy skin.

Fortunately, there's a pretty easy fix. Spending 7 hours on low in a slow cooker renders the fat and connective tissue into a bath for the chicken to cook in. You end up with incredibly tender and juicy chicken with a nigh fat-less skin that's perfectly primed for crisping. Immediately re-seasoning and blasting it in a super high heat oven for 15 to 20 minutes crisps the skin and, as a bonus, solidifies the meat a bit so it's easier to eat with your hands.

ON WHOLE CHICKENS: I like to use a whole chicken and butcher it myself (there's a great guide on breaking down a whole chicken here) because it's cheaper, but you can totally just buy pre-cut chicken instead. In fact, feel free to only get the parts of the chicken you like best.

Ingredients

1 Medium yellow onion

3 Heads of garlic

1 Whole chicken, separated into individual pieces

2 Tbsp Extra virgin olive oil

1 Tbsp Kosher salt

1 Tbsp Paprika

1 tsp Fresh ground black pepper

Goya Adobo

Sazón Goya

Equipment

Slow cooker

Baking sheet

Oven

Timing

Preparation: 20 - 45 minutes, depending mostly on whether or not you're butchering the chicken yourself.

Cooking: 7 hours slow cooker, 15 - 20 minutes oven

Procedure

1. Halve the onion and cut it into quarter inch slices. Throw the onion into the slow cooker and turn it to low.

2. Peel a billion cloves of garlic. I like to cut the top and bottom off the entire head...

...and shake it like a madman in a resealable container until most of the skin falls off.

Add the garlic to the slow cooker. You should now have an unreasonably delicious smelling bed of onion and garlic.

3. Toss the chicken pieces in oil, salt, paprika, and pepper. Add the chicken to the slow cooker and set yourself a timer for 7 hours. Prepare to spend the day in agonizing hunger as the smell of garlic chicken floods your home.

4. Pre-heat the oven to 525*F. Mine takes about 20 minutes to get that hot. Once the chicken has finished cooking in the slow cooker, GENTLY (oh so gently) remove the chicken with a pair of tongs piece by piece and arrange it on a baking sheet. Season with Adobo and Sazón.

HAH I GOT YOU I WAS ACTUALLY MAKING TWO CHICKENS THE WHOLE TIME. Also, to reiterate, seriously be gentle. The chicken should be falling apart very easily at this point. The pieces that I hid in order to make it look like I was only making one chicken are in noticeably rough shape here.

6. Bake the chicken for 10 minutes. Check on it to make sure it's not burning. It'll probably need another 5 minutes, possibly 10. It's done just when the skin begins to blacken.

Toss that chicken onto a plate without considering presentation and tear into it. Your reward for patiently waiting seven and a half hours.

BONUS STEP: Pour the liquid from the slow cooker through a strainer and into a mason jar. Refrigerate. Behold, a garlic powered concentrated chicken stock to use with soups, stews, and whatever else you may need a savory broth for. Just add water!

Also pictured, a Medieval Times cup.

[recipnbb]

Chicken Chow Mein

Ingredients

2 chicken breasts, sliced thin

1 heaping teaspoon chinese 5 spice

1 tbsp dark soy

1 tbsp chili sauce

1 red bell pepper, chopped

3 green onions, finely chopped

bean sprouts

mushrooms, sliced

chow mein noodles

sesame oil

Cooking Instructions

Mix 5 spice, soy, and chili sauce, add chicken

Start boiling water for noodles

Heat wok to smoking

Add pool of peanut/canola oil

Add chicken to wok, stirring frequently, cook to opaque

Add peppers and mushrooms to wok, stirring frequently cook to tender

Add noodles to boiling water, add bean sprouts to wok

Cook noodles for 2 minutes, drain, splash with sesame oil

Turn off heat, add green onions to wok, stir

Serve

[recipnbb]

Vodka Sauce

I love this sauce. It’s probably my favorite thing to cook. Low effort, easy to scale up to make big batches, and degrades very little in the freezer.

Ingredients

3 Shallots, diced

3 Sticks unsalted butter

3 Cans whole peeled (or crushed if you want less work to do) tomatoes

3 Shots vodka

1 Liter 35%+ heavy or whipping cream

Goya Adobo (or salt, pepper, and garlic powder) to taste

Preparation

1. Melt butter over medium high heat and sauté shallots until translucent.

2. Add tomatoes and stir to combine.  If using whole tomatoes, blend with an immersion blender. Bring to a light boil.

3. Reduce to low and simmer for 4+ hours with the lid cracked, occasionally stirring from the bottom to prevent sticking.

3. Thirty minutes before serving, stir in vodka and heavy cream. Add Adobo to taste. Continue to simmer for 30 minutes.

4. Serve over your favorite pasta. Jar the leftover sauce and freeze to enjoy vodka sauce for months.