reallybadcontent-blog

[reallybadcontent-blog]

All in my Head

You cant just do all these inhuman things and blame it on being “human” Manipulation 

 I strive to manipulate those around me but something in the back of my mind stops me, i thrive to seek and destroy those around me, i dead want to but I always stop myself, god knows how bad i want to hurt Maybe it’s because I’ve been hurt, I want those around me to feel this beautiful pain that hurt so bad and could be soothed within seconds from the comfort of the cause. 

That power he had over me ruined me when i lost it, what am I without this hurt?

 This love? 

These feelings, 

Nothing,

 Nothing to look forward to

 I rather hurt everyday like that for the rest of my life then have no life at all

It was the most beautiful thing i’ve ever felt

 I wanna share this beauty with the world and take the time one on one with someone to share with them this beautiful thing. The thing i miss the most in my life, the thing i use to have that hurt me so bad but felt so good

 I know how wrong it is but i love it 

 It hurts me to know I cant share my pain, Selfishness 

That’s not who i am, but i believe one day that is just who i will be 

The thing that i aspire to be

I want to make them feel 

Make them 

The most human they can be

[reallybadcontent-blog]

All in my head

Without mercy they will take and destroy everything i have to offer When i wait here patiently they break the, 

 He shows no mercy when he takes and destroys everything around him, he puts on an image of perfection and love for those all to judge. At night he lays, looking up to the stars, he prays for you to all have better days, But he takes away those better days... 

 filling you with lies and shaping your world as he pleases. Taking away your friends, your family, your freedom. Every problem caused by envy every solution takes a path of lust, Re patching the hole that which now I call my heart Depending on his love, you strive to make him happy, now he knows you’re truly his. 

 Once he’s bored he will leave you destroyed, in pieces.

 Images of a life together that won’t leave your head, you’re life was set out with the rules he has lead.

[reallybadcontent-blog]

All in my Head

I lay here in a pit of my own self pity surrounded by loneliness, my tongue throbs in my mouth as i lay, poor circulation throughout my body as i lay, my sunken stomach digs deeper into the endless pit.. my body aches like a broken heart... on the verge of tears as i lay, only to get more and more annoyed with the sounds of people talking outside my door. Pissed off, Just wanting to silence them to keep the thought of loneliness here, because that’s what i truly am. Alone. True hatred is what i feel, rage for those who don’t know how to shut the fuck up.

[reallybadcontent-blog]

All in my head

A blank expression surrounded blank faces, those around me mean nothing, are nothing to me. Connections that can never be made again, connections that were cut. Around me i pick and choose my own future, something stops me. I want to connect, love, care. But such feelings no longer exist. A human to me is not a soul, its something for the taking, the beating or eating. Devouring, destroying without mercy.

 Can one not picture what its like to be me? I feel free, but trapped inside my own self pity. It has nothing to do with them for its all in my head. A constant fight nobody ever wins, just a war. Deeper in my brain i dig, finding who i once was, that person is trapped, wounded, hardly alive from all the abuse. On the verge of death. Lord save my soul of who i once was before i die and forever change my brain for these horrific thoughts that i oh so love. I’m an addict, an addict for destruction. Does anyone even understand the type of affection i give? Its the only affection I've ever received, highs and lows, like a drug time and time again re-patching my broken soul which was crushed a million times into now nothing. Lord help me before i do the same. Because now i aspire to be the devil.